Even More Angst About Querying My First Novel

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

So. Here I am, well on my way to wrapping up an alpha release of the third draft of my first novel. As such, I really need to take the idea of querying my novel sometime in the fall of 2024 more seriously. There is a chance, of course, that it might be about a year from now before I query for various reasons, but I hope things don’t come to that.

But it’s really nerve wracking having to think about the nuts and bolts of querying my first novel. It sure would help if I had some quirky “in’ to the industry that allowed me to speed the process up. Yet, at the moment that is just a daydream on my part.

The entire system of trying to get into ANY form of showbiz is designed specifically so you can’t get into it. That’s why having a connection to the showbiz industry you’re interested in can be crucial. And, of course, there is the fact that I’m 100% extroverted and I often get drunk while I’m using the Internet.

It’s not like I can go back in time and change things. I am who I am and I am WELL AWARE that anyone literary agent doing due diligence on me might be dismayed by what the find. My experience with manuscript consultants was a real eye-opener — some of them wouldn’t even give me the time of day because they thought I was below them in some way.

And, yet, I have wanted to query a novel from the very beginning of this years-long process. And, so, here we are — there is going to come a point when I have to leave the delusional phase of this novel and enter a new, more serious and fact-based part of the project.

It’s going to suck.

To make myself feel better, I’m probably going to look into having a few backup, second track stories for Just In Case. My goal, my dream is to be a professional creative writer from here on out, for the rest of my life. But sooooooo much can go wrong as I try to make that dream a reality.

But I just have to roll with the punches.

‘The Company’ & My Wild Days In Seoul



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner


This is an instance of me either being extremely delusional (which is very possible) or sensing something that is true. Way back when, when I was living in Seoul, I was a man on fire. I was EXTREMELY CONSPICUOUS. So much so, that it’s probably reasonably likely that…uhhh…some spooks…in Seoul probably at least were aware of me.

I say this only because given where it is, it seems reasonable to assume that Seoul is crawling with spooks. Like a whole lot. And when I was there, there was a huge fucking military base in the middle of the city. And I was frequenting places like Haebangchon that probably had some military intelligence people living there. (At least in my fevered imagination about a decade later.)

Anyway, the only reason I bring his somewhat (ok, maybe a lot) bonkers idea up is I keep getting the occasional ping in my Webstats from people looking at this Website from Seoul. It makes no sense. None. I haven’t been in Seoul for about a decade now and, so, what? Why? I have been talking to the FBI for the novel and I even went so far as to mention “The Company” to the FBI PR guy.

I dunno. Just seems logical that some long-term spooky people in Seoul might have gotten wind of what I’m up to and thought they would take a look at my Website to see what was up.

I don’t think you can fully appreciate how insanely conspicuous I was in Seoul at my “height.” I was so balls out nuts someone even put me in a book about crazy expats.

All I can say is, I’m a changed man. I’ve learned humility.

A Creative Update #AmWriting

Some thoughts.