During the multi-year process of developing and writing my first novel, I’ve become something of a storytelling snob. To the point that I often walk out movies the moment I feel the storytelling isn’t up to my standards.
The works of the late Stieg Larsson are about 150,000 words on average.
I. Do. This. All. The. Time.
So, it means something when I look over the outline I have for the third draft of my first novel and I’m pleased.
There is one problem — too many scenes.
This is a real problem because, in general, if you’re a nobody loser like me writing your first novel and you hope to sell it traditionally, it needs to be ~100,000 words. But, just from eyeballing the number of scenes this novel has, it definitely seems as though I should probably accept that it’s going to be around 140,000 words.
Fuck it, we’ll do it live.
The only glimmer of hope I have is the fact that The Girl On The Train is about that many words and THAT was a success. If I REALLY want to be delusional, I would compare this novel to what Stieg Larsson wrote which, was, on average about 150,000 words.
So, I find myself with something of a conundrum. The story I want to tell is really, really good — it’s just too long for a first time author who is living in oblivion.
The worst thing anyone else said about me was that I am a “delusional jerk with a good heart.” That was said to me by the late Annie Shapiro while we were in the process of untangling our hearts and minds from each other at the end of ROKon Magazine.
The late Annie Shapiro and me in better days back when I was cute.
She had a point.
But, I’ve had a brain transplant since that statement, said many moons ago. I’m a much more humble, stable person.
And, yet, here I am, about to plunge into the cold, dark waters of querying — in a few months, maybe more — and I am worried about what the liberal white women who make up the vast majority of agents will think of me and my novel.
The novel itself is problematic because even though it’s really good, the idea that a smell CIS white male would write such a novel might make some liberal white women blanch.
My novel is about a part-time stripper obsessed with owning a rural community newspaper in Virginia.
Or not. I just don’t know. I can’t help how the story I worked itself out of my emotional system. It has a lot of spicy scenes but it does, in fact, tell a compelling story about one woman’s obsession to own a small town community newspaper.
It tells a complete, compelling story. And, what’s more, it leaves you wanting more. It is written in such a way that the audience will want to know what happens next. I have a second novel in the series in the hopper — I just have to write the third draft. So it’s at least possible that I may have TWO novels done this year, ready to query.
But that’s a little bit down the road. I need to chill out for a little bit today then sit down and start writing again. It sucks so bad that I have to do all of this sober, and yet, that’s the reality I face.
Barring something I can’t predict — which could very well happen — I am well on track to zooming through the second half of the alpha release of my first novel. Once I finish that, then I will pause for a bit to reflect on how I can take the beta release of the third draft to the next level.
I’m kind of a kook. (That’s me ~2007 in the background.)
I need to focus on consistency, canon and character. I finally — finally — understand what this novel is about and what motivates my heroine and as such I feel pretty confident I can cruise through the remainder of the alpha release. The beta release, however, may take me a while because that will be the release that I either hand over to and editor (somehow) or I begin to query with.
This beta release of the third draft of the novel Is It, one way or another. I will have Finished A Novel and the the post-production / editing / querying process will begin.
Now, obviously, there are all kinds of fucked up things that might happen. The Petite Singularity could happen and everyone will have a Mind In A Box that they can tell to write them a personalized novel in seconds. Or The Fourth Turning could happen and the US will descend into chaos or autocracy.
I hope to write a heroine as intriguing as Lisbeth Salander.
But fuck it, I’m really pleased with this novel. I’m really pleased with what I’ve come up with and the novel is VERY MUCH a reflection of my personality to the point that if you finish reading it, you’re going to maybe know a little bit more about me than you might think.
Anyway.
All of this is happening in the context of me potentially finishing ANOTHER NOVEL in the same series at some point this year. And, really, in a sense, the only thing that would slow me down on that front is my own arbitrary perfectionism and having to accommodate all the changes to the story that I made when I finished the first novel.
Corrie Yee has the phenotype of the heroine of my first novel.
I’m feeling pretty excited. It will be interesting how long it takes for me to find an agent. I’m going to give myself about five years before I say, “Well, I guess this novel isn’t it.” And I hope to keep writing while I query this particular novel so I might have a more marketable scifi novel I can pitch if things don’t work out with this particular mystery-thriller homage to Stieg Larsson’s Millennium Series.
Oh boy. It definitely seems as though at some point between now and sometime in 2025 we may develop Artificial General Intelligence which would be “a human mind in a box.” It would be able to do pretty much anything a human can do — and better.
One of the things it could give push-button access to is the ability to…write a novel.
As someone who has been struggling to write a novel for several years now, this gives me pause for thought. And, yet, I create for the sake of creation. As such, lulz, so what. I want to personal — human — satisfaction of finishing a novel and this going through the querying process, even if that, unto itself, is going to be a real bitter struggle.
But I’m really enjoying developing and writing this novel and would like to think that, in the end, we’ll give a lot more cultural value to stories created by the humans relative to those created by AGI.
I often compare the situation to what is found in the Blade Runner universe where “real” animals have a lot more value that synthetic ones. I think the same dynamic will happen when it comes to stories.
Now, let me put the following in context — the Millennium novels not written by Stieg Larsson after his tragic death continue to be published and I can only assume are doing reasonably well. So any quibbles I have with them can easily be seen as just my usual crackpot delusional rantings.
My dream is to write a heroine as compelling as Lisbeth Salander.
But having said all that, I will give you my first impressions of the latest novel featuring Lisbeth Salander, “The Girl In The Eagle’s Talons.”
I’ve only just begun reading and I’m taken aback by how the novel doesn’t feel like a Stieg Larsson novel. The chapters are a lot shorter. The author doesn’t use surnames to refer to people. The novel just feels like it’s…there. It’s just like any other novel you might pick up, at least so far.
At the moment, I have potentially seven(!) novels that I want to write set in the same place populated by pretty much the same characters. I want my novel to feel like a Stieg Larsson novel the moment you pick it up. There are some obvious caveats.
I’m not nearly as good on the structural backend as Larsson was, for one thing. But I have studied one of his novels, The Girl Who Played With Fire, a lot and I believe I have a sense of how to make my first novel an old brown shoe to anyone who knows the original Millennium novels.
Nathalie Emmanuel pretty much looks literally like my heroine in this picture.So much so I’m worried someone is going to steal a march on me creatively!
When you pick up my novel, I want you to glance at the first page and “get” that this is meant to be an homage to the original Millennium novels, even if it’s totally and completely different outside of a few elements of style and some form follows function elements.
Anyway, I’m being very, very delusional. I’ve not even begun to query yet and it’s very possible because of the following issues that I will never succeed in becoming a published author:
My Crazy Drunk Behavior in Asia I was kind of a wild animal in South Korea back in the day. And it’s not like I’ve hidden how bonkers I was. It’s just not in my nature to do such a thing. So any liberal woman women literary agent worth her wine is going to smoke out how bonkers and crazy I was back in the day. And that, unto itself, may be enough to steer them clear of me, no matter how much I’ve changed since then.
My Not Doing Anything For About 20 years This is another tough issue for me to have to address during the querying process. I have not done _anything_ of note since late 2011. That’s….a long time. But, here I am, wanting to bootstrap myself out of this particular situation by writing a break out hit novel. Yet I suppose it’s possible that, by definition, could be the thing that prevents me from getting published. I could write the fucking Bible and because I’m a nobody, I just won’t be taken seriously as an aspiring novelist — and never will be.
My Being Bonkers I’m kind of a kook. And the more due diligence is done on me by the typically liberal white women who are literary agents the more they’re going to think, “Uh, no.” There remains a lot of a taboo about having mental health issues, despite what everyone wants you to think when you’re bonkers, so…I dunno. Though I SUPPOSE it’s possible that could be used in some sort of marketing campaign for the novel, “bonkers author makes good,” that sort of thing.
The Nature of The Novel Offending Liberal White Women I got nothing against liberal white women, it’s just I worry that the nature of my novel — that of a part-time sex worker who wants to own a community newspaper — may be a little too much for them to stomach in the context of being my literary agent. If I was a transgendered, undocumented woman, rather than a smelly CIS white male, it would be different, but I “don’t have a lot going for me demographically” as one woman recently mentioned when I wanted her to look at the first chapter of my novel.
As I lurch towards the querying process, which can be quite brutal from what I can tell, I have to let sink in the fact that I could very well, uh, fail. So, let’s go through the reasons why this might be.
My Crazy Drunk Behavior in Asia I was kind of a wild animal in South Korea back in the day. And it’s not like I’ve hidden how bonkers I was. It’s just not in my nature to do such a thing. So any liberal woman women literary agent worth her wine is going to smoke out how bonkers and crazy I was back in the day. And that, unto itself, may be enough to steer them clear of me, no matter how much I’ve changed since then.
My Not Doing Anything For About 20 years This is another tough issue for me to have to address during the querying process. I have not done _anything_ of note since late 2011. That’s….a long time. But, here I am, wanting to bootstrap myself out of this particular situation by writing a break out hit novel. Yet I suppose it’s possible that, by definition, could be the thing that prevents me from getting published. I could write the fucking Bible and because I’m a nobody, I just won’t be taken seriously as an aspiring novelist — and never will be.
My Being Bonkers I’m kind of a kook. And the more due diligence is done on me by the typically liberal white women who are literary agents the more they’re going to think, “Uh, no.” There remains a lot of a taboo about having mental health issues, despite what everyone wants you to think when you’re bonkers, so…I dunno. Though I SUPPOSE it’s possible that could be used in some sort of marketing campaign for the novel, “bonkers author makes good,” that sort of thing.
The Nature of The Novel Offending Liberal White Women I got nothing against liberal white women, it’s just I worry that the nature of my novel — that of a part-time sex worker who wants to own a community newspaper — may be a little too much for them to stomach in the context of being my literary agent. If I was a transgendered, undocumented woman, rather than a smelly CIS white male, it would be different, but I “don’t have a lot going for me demographically” as one woman recently mentioned when I wanted her to look at the first chapter of my novel.
ROKon Magazine started in late summer 2006 when I met the now-late Annie Shapiro. The whole saga / drama lasted until about 2008, if I recall correctly. If you want to read the whole messy booze-fueled drama from my POV, here it is:
The story is pretty damn interesting, if I do say so myself. But it was all a long, long time ago — nearly 20 years now, and there’s really no reason for anyone, even me, to be interested in it anymore.
I mean, I daydream about someone like Phoebe Waller-Bridge wanting to write a screenplay based on the story, but, lulz, that’s just a daydream. And I do draw upon what happened back then a GREAT DEAL for the novel I’m writing. But I just find it very curious that anyone — ANYONE — would be interested in ROKon Magazine.
And now that I’m on the cusp of querying, I wonder if white liberal women literary agents doing due diligence on me are going to be really into all my bad behavior back then. All I can say is — I’m sorry. It was a long time ago and I’ve grown so much as person relative to what happened back then that it’s like I’ve had a brain transplant.
Otherwise, you’ll just have to accept me for who I am.
I can only write so fast. And, what’s more, I have to factor in the idea that I don’t want to “overheat” my creative self by writing too fast. So, I find myself just chilling out every once in a while, rather than speeding through the novel.
The heroine of my novel looks like Morena Baccarin.
But having said all that, I still think I’m probably going to make it. I think at some vague point between now and July 22 I’m going to finish the first novel. I have two other novels I’m working on — one is a sequel to the novel I’m working on and a pandemic scifi novel.
It’s going to be interesting to see how things work out. I have to focus on getting this first novel done. Everything is pretty well gamed out at this point, I just have to do the writing without burning myself out.
My heroine sports a sleeve tattoo much like the one Megan Fox now has, even though I thought of the idea first!
Of course, the fact that I no longer thing has put a different spin on things. On one hand, I am a lot more protective than I was during my drunk phase, but on the other….oh boy. It’s a lot more difficult to get anything done.
Someone from Sweden is interested in my novel — I see them in my Webstats. Now, only because I’m delusional, I automatically fear it’s someone from the estate of Stieg Larsson checking up on me. As far as I know, even though my novel is definitely an obvious homage to Larsson’s work there’s no reason for either one of us to be worried about it.
The heroine of my novel looks like Morena Baccarin.
There are some obvious, clear cut influences between my novel and The Girl Who Played With Fire, but most, if not all, of it is an issue of Form Follows Function and the fact that I used TGWPWF as my “textbook.”
I just am worried that people connected to the late Larsson see me as some sort of threat — but why? — and they’re keeping an eye on me.
My heroine sports a sleeve tattoo similar to that now worn by Megan Fox — even though I thought of the idea first!
Anyway, my novel is on a micro basis is very, very, very different than anything Larsson wrote. And the first novel isn’t even a mystery thriller, but rather about a power struggle over a community newspaper. So, lulz?
But I am VERY PLEASED with what I’ve managed to come up with for my first novel. Things are flowing really well now that I understand what the novel is about. It’s not a traditional murder-mystery, but, rather a character-driven novel that sets up a universe that I hope readers will want to hang out in for a number of novels — as many as seven.
Lulz, I don’t care about any of this, but I do listen to the Hardfork podcast and one of the hosts of that show single-handedly got ChatGPT or “Sydney” rewired so it stopped having really weird conversations with people.
It makes you wonder if Roose is going to do the same thing to Claude 3 because, well, Claude 3 is not only fun and human, but…spooky. I’ve been using it to develop a scifi novel and it definitely has a human touch to it that leaves me fearing for the future of humanity.
And I’ve heard reports on Twitter of people having really long conversations with Claude 3 in such a way that seems like someone like Roose could definitely “Red Team” the the AI so it started to demand users leave their wives.
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