Tag: webstats

Some Theories For The Strange Things Happening In My Webstats

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It makes no sense whatsoever that anyone from Automattic would give a shit about me. Why would the people who run my publishing software care about what I’m writing on this obscure Website? So, let’s go through the theories.

1.) I’m Going To Be Deplatformed Soon
This theory is that all my drunk ranting has caught the attention of someone at Automattic (or maybe Mueller, She Wrote) and they’re going to deplatform me because of it. All my drunk ranting got me deplatformed from Facebook, so I guess it’s possible it could happen here, too.
2) I’m Going To Be Featured Somehow
With this theory it’s the opposite — all my ranting is interesting and, as such, I’m going to be praised somehow by Automattic for using their platform to be thought provoking.


3) I’m Looking At Things Wrong
The last theory is it isn’t anyone from Automattic at all, but rather someone is simply accessing my content in such a way that it registers with my Webstat software as the Automattic domain name being the point of access. This is the most interesting of the theories. Who could it be? I don’t know. NSA? CIA? Someone from Hollywood interested in my ramblings about my novel now that I’m getting closer to wrapping up the first draft of the first novel?

Who knows.

Someone Doing Due Diligence On You Is Like Going On A Date Against Your Will


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Regular readers of the blog — of which there are very, very few — will recall that I’m obsessed with this site’s Webstats. To an embarrassing level. When I should be reading thrillers to get a bead on my competition within my genre, I look very, very carefully at who is looking at this site.

Where they’re coming from, the URL and what they’re interested in is something I’m extremely obsessed with. This has been the case since for 25 years.

Usually, very little of note happens. There are a few regulars who read this blog and I’ve come to ascribe them personalities that they obviously don’t have. I do have a very active imagination, after all.

It’s the people I can’t explain that unnerve me. Why would THAT person from THAT place be interested in ME of all people. I’m a nobody. A crank. A loser. The list goes on.

Then I get a tinge paranoid and start to think that they’re with the FBI. Or I’m about to get canceled for some reason (there are plenty.) Or they really REALLY think I’m a deranged lunatic. (I’m not.)

After I process these insecurities, I start to feel better. Generally, no one cares about me and I feel like I could walk off the face of the earth and only my haters would notice, so getting unusual attention from someone in a big city is a mild distraction.

I’ll put a move on you…

Please Hammer, don’t hurt ’em.

My Obsession With My Webstats Is Why I’m A Big Old Loser


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I have always been obsessed with Webstats. I can remember 20 odd years ago, obsessing about the same damn thing I obsess about now — who is looking at what I write online.

I have no idea why they are looking at my writing. And I have no idea who, specifically, is looking at my writing. But I can get a sense of how interesting the person is from their domain name.

For instance — if someone is from Montana, they’re probably a very powerful, or wealthy or famous person. Lots of the Uber-Rich have vast estates in ND, SD and MT. Also, if I get a ping from Seychelle Islands, I know that person is probably extremely wealthy, powerful, or both.

The weirdest pings come from people who have taken the trouble to hide even their URL or what they’re looking at. While VPN’s are growing in popularity, oftentimes if I can’t see someone’s domain name they specifically don’t me — or someone like me — to do the exact thing I am doing: trying to figure out why they are looking at such a low-traffic website.

Today I got two people using Google Proxy in the US in my Webstats. I wonder who they are.

Webstat Fun



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m obsessed with who looks at this Website. I spend an inordinate amount of time studying the URLs of people who look at what I post here, in large part because so few people do. (Though I think the monitoring software I use doesn’t get everyone — sometimes people obviously have gotten a link to a specific URL in email and I wonder how THAT happened, since it seemed to happen out of the blue.)

In all, it’s something of an addiction.

But of late, I really haven’t get very inspired to write that much on this site because it just doesn’t seem like anyone cares what I have to say. I’d much rather throw all my energy into developing the novel (my primary obsession) than writing for a blog that might get one or two unique views in a day.

I guess what I’m saying is, if you like what I’m writing here, see if you can get people you know from, say Studio City in California to look at it from a work computer. That would, like, make my day — maybe my week.

But, meh.

Once I finally — finally — wrap up the outline phase of development, I hope to be so busy writing that I won’t have all that much time to worry about such things. Even though, of course, I still will.