Tag: webstats

Magical Mystery Webstats

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I am completely consumed with studying my Webstats. This blog gets very, very few views a day and, in general, I’m just another rando drunk Internet crank. As such, for ANYONE to look at this blog for ANY reason gives me pause for thought.

Of late, I’ve been getting a trickle of traffic surrounding John Mulaney and his ex-wife’s struggles. I haven’t seen his latest special all the way through yet, so it’s doubtful he may any direct mention to the stuff I wrote about. It could be that people are just interested in what happened between he and his wronged ex-wife and so they endup at this dark corner of the Web.

Meanwhile, someone from Washington D.C. showed up in my Webstats this evening and they made a beeline to the posts of January 2021, which makes me think maybe they were curious about what I may have written about January 6th. Then they went back to the first month this blog was in existence. Very interesting and intriguing. The only reason why I even bring any of this is up is I’m a nobody and ANYONE giving my writing ANY interest for ANY reason is a big deal to me at this point in my life.

This is all very flattering unless it’s not. It’s flattering if some third party in the nattering nabobs of negativism class has made note of my political rantings here. It’s NOT flattering if, like, the FBI or NSA is aware of my existence and is keeping tabs on me.

Then there continues to be that one person in California who is fucking obsessed with me for some reason. I find this persons interest in everything I write starling because I’m just not that interesting. If Annie Shapiro was still alive, I would assume it was her, fucking with me. (She was known to do shit like that.)

I May Have A Tip For Matthew Belloni About Warner Bros. Discovery — Too Bad It’s Dubious At Best

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m something of a media nerd and so I’m a big fan of Matthew Belloni’s podcast The Town. I often pontificate on shit I know nothing about — that’s kind of my thing — and I also am totally completely obsessed with monitoring my Webstats.

Very, very few people read this blog — mostly stalkers and family members who don’t want to admit that they are interested in my rantings — so whenever something curious pops up in my Webstats I take note. I have no idea why a person from Cortlandt Manor, New York would look — repeatedly — at my musings about the possibility that it seems inevitable that Warner Bros. Discovery will merge with NBCUniversal…but they have.

The ONLY reason why I find this both curious and intriguing is where Cortlandt Manor is — just north of NYC in what I suspect is a fairly wealthy part of the state. It would make a lot of sense if some high-powered media person with inside knowledge would be searching the Web about such a merger if it was actually something actively being discussed.

Or not.

Anyway, absolutely no one listens to me — certainly not Mr. Belloni — so, lulz, I’ll just be content in my scenario running abilities if I turn out to be right. Though I will point out AGAIN — if such a merger did happen, what the fuck happens to CNN?

I can think of a few plutocrats who would shell out a few billion for CNN. The general base price would be $1 billion, but I think if there was some sort of bidding war, you could see a final sale price closer to $5 billion.

Anyway. I need to work on my novel.

I See You

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Now, I have made it clear repeatedly that I’m kind of obsessed with the Webstats of this site. Given that I’m living in oblivion at the moment, there really is no reason for anyone to give a shit about me. That’s why monitoring Webstats is so addictive — it’s really entertaining for me to try to figure out why anyone would care what I have to say.

While there is one particular person who is REALLY FUCKING OBSESSED with this site that I find mildly concerning because I don’t know their motivation — given where they are coming from, I’m a little concerned they have some connection to Annie Shapiro’s tragic murder — that’s not what I want to talk about at the moment.

Someone using Google Proxy is looking at this site in the most random of ways. There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to what they’re interested in. Usually, if someone is doing due diligence on me, they root around this or that topic I’ve written about, realize I’m completely bonkers, then run away never to be seen again.

But this person just shows up every once in a while and looks at things now again. It’s all very strange. No harm no foul, I don’t care. Whatever. I have nothing to hide, but it’s very curious.

Paranoia Will Destroya

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The Internet works in mysterious ways. So, some time ago I wrote about how I was “famous” in Seoul. And, relative to the oblivion I live in now, I was pretty famous — at least within the microscopic expat community.

Annie Shapiro and me back in our glory days.

That’s all well and good, but for some reason I keep getting pings on that specific post. I have no idea what the search terms are that bring people to the post, but I’ve had about three people show up in my Webstats looking at that specific post for some reason.

If I wanted to be really paranoid, I would say someone got ahold of the fleshout outline of my novel and they’re now writing a cherry-picked screenplay from it. And because they want to know who they’re screwing over, they look me up and see that post.

While that’s very, very possible…it’s also a tell on my part. I think I’m STILL hurting from how Annie Shapiro screwed me over when she brought back ROKon Magazine without me. And that was a long, long time ago. Once bitten, twice shy and all that.

But, as I keep saying, you have to make decisions on what you do know, not on what you don’t know. So, I’m going to keep on keeping on until something absolutely happens that makes it clear I’m going to have to pivot to a different story.

Hopefully, I won’t get screwed over like I did with ROKon Magazine.

Daydreaming About My Webstats

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I study my Webstats, way, way, way too much. There is just something addictive about seeing that someone, anyone is actually interested in what I have to say given that I generally am living in oblivion. It’s fun to speculate on why someone in, say, Brooklyn, would have this page bookmarked.

Then there are the people who are downright obsessive about this site who I just don’t understand. Are they, like, someone who loves / hates me from my time in South Korea? Or are they, like, some sort of serial killer who really is looking forward to hunting me down and eating me one day? Yikes!

Anyway, it’s all a mystery. I have no idea who anyone is that visits this site. All I know is, in general, where they’re coming from and sometimes the ISP they use. But even that isn’t even the case as much as it used to be. And I have a feeling that a lot of people access this site in a way that the Webstat software I use sees their connection as coming from a bot and is, as such, ignored.

‘Hello?’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The strangest thing to pop up in my Webstats is the person who randomly show up as if they were searching my name. The reason why it’s odd is — I’m currently living in oblivion and there’s absolutely no reason for anyone who doesn’t know me personally to search for my name.

The late Annie Shapiro and myself in happier times.

So, the idea that someone would want to know more about me because they heard something about me kind of rattles my cage. It does this because I don’t know why. Is it because of something I wrote? Is it something I did on Twitter? What? What is going on?

I think there must be an element of what goes on with this Website that I can see using the Webstat software I use. I — think — that some forms of access to this extremely low-trafficked site is seen as bot traffic even though it isn’t. As such, there is a percentage of the people who view this site that I don’t see.

Anyway, welcome, I guess? If you really want to know who I am, here’s what the late Annie Shapiro said when she was really, really mad at me, I’m a “delusional jerk with a good heart.”

Well, It’s Possible There’s A Minor Amount of Chatter About Me Somewhere

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I don’t think anyone appreciates how much I live in oblivion. But I do. I really do. I totally live in oblivion to the point that the tiniest thing is interesting to me — if it’s about me.

So, I was looking at my Webstats and saw “l.instagram.com” as the referring link for someone from Queens to visit this site. The only reason why this is of note is that Instagram is the first link about me when you search for me via Google. So, logic would suggest that if you had heard about me in some way you would search my name, go to my Instagram account….then use my link from that site to land here.

This is unusual because it means that someone who probably didn’t know me from my drunk Twitter ranting but heard about me from a third party and wanted to know more about me. This is even more interesting given where they were from — NYC.

Anyway, lulz, nothing matters. But it is an interesting late summer mystery in my Webstats. It’s shit like that which makes me so obsessed with my Webstats to begin with. There’s only been one time when someone mysterious in my Webstats actually told me who they were — a person on vacation in Greenland of all places.

Regardless. I suppose the rest of this month will continue to be just as boring as it has been so far.

A Mystery…Solved?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m extremely fucking bored. It’s an August Saturday night and absolutely nothing is going on anywhere. So, I think I’m going bounce back and forth between working on the novel, reading and writing the most interesting things on this blog I can possibly think of.

A mystery unbuilt.

Part of that is I’m obsessed with my Webstats. I’m obsessed with seeing who cares about little old me. I’m very much living in oblivion and anyone being interested in my writing online is of note to me.

This is relevant because I may have figured out where some of my meager traffic comes from out of the blue — people have setup name alerts for this or that celebrity and so they get an email when I put the name of the celebrity in the title of a post. I think that may be where some of my “No referring link” designations come from.

Nothing more mysterious than that.

Anyway, tonight really is very, very boring. Ugh. I suppose we’re all just going to continue to drift into the future like a Steve Miller song. That is, of course, until something huge happens out of the blue and I sheepishly regret wanting something interesting to happen so bad.

My Obsession With My Webstats Continues

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

As long as I’ve been using the Internet, which is almost 30 years now, I’ve been obsessed with Webstats. Something about being able to see where someone comes from to look at my writing is extremely addictive.

But, because I have a tendency to wildly speculate on the basis of little or no information, I sometimes come up with some pretty crackpot ideas. The thing that unnerves me the most is when someone uses the Internet Archive to look at this site. Usually, this happens when I contact or otherwise have some sort of interaction with a major media nattering nabob of negativism.

They’re doing due diligence on me. Given that I, unfortunately, can come across as a drunk Internet crank, I usually fail the audition. But someone doing due diligence on you via something like the Internet Archive is like being forced to go on a secret first date against your will.

Anyway, my latest paranoia is someone from the Chesapeake Bay area of Maryland looked at this site, apparently by coming through the link on my Twitter bio. I have a few guesses as to who it might be, one of them being the manuscript consultant that I contacted, but ultimately couldn’t afford. I have this lingering paranoia now that she’s going to use the fleshout outline I gave her to write her own version of my novel.

But, for the time being, that says more about my continued anger about Annie Shapiro “stealing” ROKon Magazine from me than any evidence I might have that this is going to happen. It could be anybody. Literally anyone. I just know where the person came from.

If anything, this paranoia makes me want to develop and write faster. I know this story really well, I just have to finish it.

Anyway, happy reading.

The Mysterious World Of My Webstats

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Even though I’m fixated on my Webstats to an embarrassing degree, I have come to believe that there’s a lot that goes on with them that my software doesn’t pick up.

One time, I saw someone apparently copy — scrape — my entire blog so they could read it as they liked without me being able see what they were interested in. And so, now, given all these accesses by “Automattic” I think maybe (?) something similar is going on?

Maybe someone is using a scraping bot to copy most — if not all — of my blog so they can look at it in peace later without me seeing them look at anything specific. The details of this elude me, but lulz, it’s fun to think and write about. And maybe I’m totally wrong and I’m just proving myself, yet again, to be a “delusional jerk with a good heart.”

But it would make a lot of sense — the access from “Automattic” isn’t just one hit or two. It’s dozen of hits over a very short amount of time.


Page Views:109 (14 this visit)Latest Page View:19 May 2022 22:26:45Visit Length:34 mins 9 secsResolution:UnknownSystem:UnknownUnknownTotal Visits:25Location:Ashburn, Virginia, United StatesISP / IP Address:Automattic (74.114.154.10)  Referring URL:(No referring link)Entry Page: UnknownLatest Page: Unknown


Anyway, lulz, nothing matters. It’s just interesting. It’s interesting that anyone would go to the trouble of scraping this blog when they could just use the Internet Archive. But I guess the person in question doesn’t want me to know anything about them at all — they don’t want me to know their real ISP and they don’t want me to know what they’re interested in.

Which, of course, only makes the whole thing more intriguing. I suppose something bad is about to happen to me — get sued for some reason? — or something interesting might be about to happen. I’m a “terribly negative person” so I’m assuming I’m about to get sued.

I don’t have any money, so….?