Tag: Unfrozen Caveman Autocrat

Ron DeSantis Has A Problem

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

From my conversations with my hyper partisan ultra conservative Traditionalists relatives, it definitely seems as though the Republican Party has a problem. And that problem is Donald J. Fucking Trump.

My Traditionalist relatives are ready to move on. They are quite open about what they want in a 2024 Republican candidate — Trump without Trump. They tell me they want to vote for Ron DeSantis “three times.” In other words, the ground is very ripe for DeSantis to be America’s first autocrat.

And, as an aside, it’s interesting how oblivious my Traditionalist relatives are to the sea change that the United States is about to experience. The usual ebb and flow of our politics will gride to a halt when we’re not longer a democracy — something my Traditionalist relatives don’t even believe America is in the first place.

The idea of the United States no longer being a democracy is something very abstract to my Traditionalist relatives — whom I love dearly. All they know is they fucking hate the “woke cancel culture mob” and the fucking hate the “gay agenda.” I mean, they’re all in with the anti-gay “drag queens teaching 3rd graders about anal sex” fears that seem so potent within Republican ranks these days.

It’s the first thing they turn to whenever there’s a discussion of such fanciful things as a “unity ticket” or me telling them all they have to do is be patient and they will get all their policy dreams enacted.

But back to Trump.

If we were a functioning democracy and not an anocracy, Trump would be a has been and we would all just be waiting for DeSantis to become president. But we’re not. Trump refuses to wander off into the political night and, as such, the issue is not who will be the 2024 Republican nominee, it’s who will Trump pick to be his veep?

I’m of the opinion that Trump has so lost his mind that he’s not going to pick DeSantis unless he absolutely has to. He’s probably going to pick some deranged, insane person like Mike Flynn or, if he’s feeling charitable, maybe Ivanka Trump.

Or, put another way, it’s probably going to be shocking.

And, what’s more, we haven’t even addressed the issue of what the reaction to Trump and Bannon stealing the 2024 election through an “administrative coup” will be within the center-Left. My Traditionalist relatives are pretty much ready to accept the secession of Blue States if it comes to that. Though, in all honesty, I suspect the moment Fox News demands blood for Blue States doing the very thing that Red States like Texas want to do, everything will change.

In other words, Trump is a political monster and there’s no ready endgame. I have no idea what is going to ultimately happen. But I do know on one end of the spectrum is civil war and on the other end is autocracy.

Would-Be Autocrat Ron DeSantis Is Extremely Popular With Traditionalists

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I come from a deeply conservative family. And, in all honesty, I’m far more extremely anti-MAGA than I am any sort of Leftist. But there is no middle ground any more and so you pick a side and run with it.

There is one name that comes up time and again when I have the occasional political conversation with my family members — Ron Fucking DeSantis.

DeSantis is Trumpism without Trump and, as such, it’s far less likely that we’ll have any type of political violence in 2024 — DeSantis is very much an American version of Putin around 1999 – 2000 and, as such American liberals won’t know what hit them once he seizes power. He’s smooth and won’t scare the average person — even though he’s a fucking fascist — and we’ll just wake up in 20 years and wonder why President DeSantis is invading Canada.

All of this is part of a broader problem the US faces — we’re fucked. Totally and completely. There are no scenarios where the US is able to punt the crisis caused by the rot of its political system down the road anymore. We’re either going to have a civil war (more likely is Trump is the nominee) or we’re just going to slip peacefully into autocracy (more likely if DeSantis is the nominee.)

As I keep saying, we may look back on the 2020 election as the last free and fair election in American history. Or, at least before the Second American Civil War that starts in late 2024, early 2025.

Ron DeSantis

I know I sound hysterical, but America is very much on edge right now. Almost all the traffic that this blog gets outside of people stalking me for some weird reason comes from people obviously with civil war on the brain. And most of them come from Red States. (This is very dumb given that MAGA is ascendant, but lulz.)

But back to the point — it definitely looks as though we’re either going to have a battle royale between Trump and DeSantis or DeSantis is the nominee. Though, to be fair, given that there are a dozen solid fascist possibilities floating around, DeSantis would have to have a pitched battle on his hands against people like Scott and Hawley and Cruz and…and…and…and…to see who gets to be the 2024 Republican nominee and…then, well, America’s first autocrat.

Autocratic America is going to suck so bad, especially for loudmouth drunk cranks like me.

A Very American Autocracy

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I simply can not game out America’s fate at the moment. I will know a lot more pretty soon, however. Once Roe is officially overturned, if there is no significant violence then that’s a pretty good sign that we’re just going to slip into autocracy starting around 2025 and that will be that.

I hate having abstract fears, so let’s contemplate what an American autocracy would look like.

Well, the first thing we have to understand is a shit tone of Twitter liberals will flee the country. It could be over the course of the next twenty years (after 2025) as many as a few million. This will change global culture in ways that no one can predict. But when you have 500,00 wealthy liberal Americans living in the south of France smelling their own farts and drinking white Russians while whining about how autocratic America has become, well, that’s going to change things.

Thus, that will be the first big noticeable change to the average American once MAGA steals the 2024 election — a lot the people who would otherwise be in the Crooked Media podcast audience will no long live full time in the country. They will take a lot of expertise and wealth production with them and the US economy will subtly change and maybe even noticeably contract.

Fox New will turn its attention from hoards of scary brown people in caravans coming to the US to the hoards of wealthy liberals who no longer live in the country. They will whine and whine about this and tell their audience what bad people these Twitter liberals are for leaving.

That will be the first noticeable thing.

The next thing will be a growing demand for a Constitutional Convention to “pass a balanced budget amendment.” That will probably be the big issue of the day at some point after 2025 as our new autocrat begins to consolidate power. (Trump is too stupid and lazy — I’m assuming our first real autocrat will be whomever Trump picks to be his 2024 veep.)

Another thing that will begin to happen is Republicans will pass a whole slate of long-wanted, and very unpopular, policies because lulz, who’s going to stop them? So gay rights will be rolled back — and that will be just the beginning.

And here is where my political speculative fiction begins to grow dark. Because of how big America is and because of the issue of race, it’s at least possible that America will implode into something very dark and scary indeed. Without any check on their ambitions the white Christian nationalists really will put people like me who refuse to shut the fuck up in camps.

In fact, much like Pol Pot, it could be the excesses of the American autocrat down the road that leads to their violent overthrow. But I find that outcome dubious — I think, in the end, America will simply become a political clone of Russia.

By 2045, someone who went from Moscow to Washington D.C. wouldn’t be able to notice any difference politically. In both nations, there would be no allowed political protesting and so forth. And, there’s a good chance that President DeSantis by that point would be thinking of carving off a big chunk of Canada because form follows function.

But, I suppose, we will all be at last grateful that no one risks being “canceled” by the woke cancel culture mob simply for being conservative. I hope it’s worth it, you fucking cocksucker MAGA dipshits.

My Hysterical Second American Civil War Fears, Reassessed


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m really beginning to believe we’re not going to have a civil war. We’re just going to become a MAGA themed autocracy. But there are a few issues that are unresolved at the moment that could still throw us into the ditch of civil war.

One is the most obvious — Trump.

Every day, Trump grows more deranged and yet his death grip on the Republican Party remains just as powerful. So, it’s logical to assume at the moment that he’s going to be the 2024 Republican nominee. If that happens, the chance of significant political violence, up to and including civil war in 2024 – 2025 grows significantly. Trump is just a big old deranged idiot and he could very well, single handedly, cause a civil war just by being a very dumb avatar for white Christian rage.

Another known unknown is the issue of MAGA, in general, being so bloodthirsty that they force the issue of civil war on Blue States, even though Blue States don’t — at the moment — have the leadership to leave the Union even if they really wanted to.

Yet another unknown is how bad it might get should Republicans take Congress over in 2025. If they go nuts not only by corrupting the election of 2024, but by impeaching both Biden and Harris just because they feel a political need to do so, then that gives Blue States two years to seethe in rage before the main event in 2024 – 2025.

If a civil war happened in 2024 – 2025, I think we need to keep any eye on state governments. I think there would probably be coups and counter-coups across the United States at the state level. States like Virginia, Oregon and Michigan are prime candidates for significant political instability between Election Day 2024 and Certification Day 2025.

No matter what happens, late 2024 to early 2025 is shaping up to be a shitshow. The United States will be extremely unstable if Trump wins again in 2024 for no other reason than he is going to cheat even if he wins outright. I have a lot less concerns about a civil war if someone like Ron DeSantis is the Republican nominee is 2024 because, lulz, he’s Trump without Trump and Traditionalist conservatives love, love, love him.

If DeSantis becomes POTUS In 2025, nothing will change at first. But, soon enough, late night TV will be purged and what little resistance there is to autocrat DeSantis will be neutralized soon enough. We’ll wake up in 2042 and DeSantis will be invading Canada for this or that reason. (Form follows function.)

Anyway, I can’t predict the future. I have no idea what is going to happen. But I am worried. I’m very worried.

Anocracy In America: Only Trump Can Stop Florida Governor Ron DeSantis at This Point


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

You’re a fool if you think Ron DeSantis isn’t probably going to be the next president of the United States. As of right now, he’s got a straight shot at becoming America’s Putin. He will gradually at first, then more and more quickly, strangle American democracy and we’ll wake up in 20 years with him still being president.

But there are still some obstacles to him becoming America’s Putin. First of all, there’s Trump. Either Trump destroys DeSantis politically, or the two come to some agreement whereby DeSantis is Trump’s veep and ultimate successor. The latter is a win-win for both Trump and DeSantis, but Trump is so stupid and lazy that I could easily see Trump naming someone really crazy like Mike Flynn to be his veep.

Then we really would have something to cry about.

Another wildcard is the Russo-Ukrainian War. If it escalates into something closer to WW3, then there is a small chance that everything will be so changed that Biden or Harris (or name a Democrat) might be in a position to leverage that particular clusterfuck to at least punt the existential choice of autocracy or civil war down the road one more presidential election cycle.

But the point is — we’re fucked. We’re totally, completely fucked. No one is going to save us and at this point, the only question is who is going to be America’s Putin. We can only punt the fall of our democracy down the road for so long.

It’s growing more and more obvious that, tragically, the only hope of saving our democracy may be the high risk, high reward option of civil war. But there are no assurances that there would be a pat endgame. Things could be very muddled and the world will fly past a broken America.

No One Is Going To Fucking Save Us


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It is now embarrassing how many Twitter liberals think that this or that boom, or angry Twitter thread or even a timely, unexpected indictment is going to save us. We are totally, completely fucked, fucked, fucked. We are beyond the event horizon for Something Bad happening at some point between now and January 2025.

If you indict Trump, you either turn him into a martyr or you knock him out of the 2024 election…only to have a different would-be Republican autocrat take his place.

Remember, by definition, our next Republican president will be an autocrat. Our democratic goose will be cooked. As such, the only alternative is a civil war. It would be high risk, but high potential reward. Millions would die. World War 3 would happen at the same time. And there would be no assurance that of what the ultimate endgame would be.

The one thing that won’t happen is Biden (or any other Democrat) be allowed to win without serious conflict, up to and including a civil war. Half the electorate now believes that the only legitimate election is one in which their candidate wins.

How do you fix THAT problem?

I guess what I’m trying to say is — enjoy this twilight of democracy while you still can. We are so fucked in the near future. In fact, The Day After Tomorrow is just one huge tragedy.

I honestly don’t see how I don’t endup dead in a ditch eventually at the hands of an ICE agent if any Republican becomes POTUS. I say this because I simply refuse to shut up about what a fucking piece of shit President Pompeo or DeSantis is. Fucking cocksuckers either one of them.

I’m just the type of guy to get drunk in a bar in 2027 and start ranting about what a fat fuck President Pompeo is. Next thing I know, I’m being tortured to death by ICE. I really think that is a possibility.

THEN the the Traditionalists in my family my sit up and take notice about why I was right that they should have made temporary common cause with Liberals instead of MAGA.

But, by that point, it will be well too late.

Ugh.

America’s Downward Spiral: I’m A Survivor


by Ender

I have long said that if The End comes, I’ll either be the first person to die on the first day or I’ll help bring back civilization. I made that joke for years, not thinking that maybe I might have to put it to the test in a deadly serious manner. Because, lulz, guess what — we’re in an existential crisis in the United States right now.

We’re careening towards a dark, dark future of either autocracy or civil war. At the moment, I still don’t know which one we’re going to end up with. But unless something Really Big happens and we have some sort of temporary military junta instead — we’re either going to slip peacefully into autocracy or bomb ourselves into the Stone Age.

If you don’t see this, you’re either willfully delusional, oblivious or in denial.

Thankfully, we have a few years to plot how freedom loving people are going to handle Steve Bannon’s tyrannical machinations. He’s doing it in the open and, honestly, he’s just playing a historical function — it could be anybody who was doing what he’s doing. He’s just the guy fate picked to have Trump’s ear.

One thing I have to stress is, a lot hinges on Trump running or not. If he doesn’t run, then we pick a peaceful slide into autocracy. And, for a lot of people who find autocracy appealing, once we live in an autocracy, they won’t even notice any difference. They can finally sleep soundly at night knowing the libs are, at last, owned for good and the Cancel Culture terror that “real” America has faced has ended.

I will survive.

It won’t be until much laters, when they, personally, have to deal with the downside of autocracy that they might grumble to those close to them that they regret being Good Germans. But by then, it will be way, way too late — especially for people like me.

But let’s say Trump does run in 2024. If he does, in my view, it won’t be so much that he runs as who he picks as his veep. His first decision will be, of course, does he co-op Ron DeSantis, or does he shiv him politically? If he shivs him politically, the case could be made that Gen. Mike Flynn would be exactly the type of wing nut that Trump would pick as his veep, because, well, Trump will be 80 or so in 2025 and who else to play America’s Putin, but a fucking traitor like Gen. Flynn?

Steve Bannon

And, yet, the real issue will be what a fucking catastrophe the 2024 presidential cycle is going to be. It’s not going to be a free and fair election because of fucking Steve Bannon and, as such, if we have Trump running around being an idiot, that, in itself, could be just the right amount of added pressure on our already rotting, fragile political system to cause us to buckle.

How do I plan to survive this?

Well, 2024 – 2025 is ways down the road and lot could change in my personal life by that point. But, in general, I’m probably follow the huge mass of humanity leave the South for the safer Northeastern states. I’m just going to follow them north to somewhere like NYC.

This is all very back-of-the-envelope, but I guess what I’m tell you, is either get a passport and leave the country or move to a state that fits your political views. Then hunkerdown and wait for the end of the United States as we know it.

Again — I don’t work for VOX, I don’t produce Tik-Toks with sharp received English vocal fry and I have no idea what you should do between now and 2024 to save yourself and the people you love.

Unfrozen Caveman Governor Ron DeSantis

You’re smart, you can figure it out.

But, for me, specifically, I’m on a hair trigger to start figuring out how, on a personal level, I can get out of where I live in Virginia. My sate is one of several that would likely collapse in the event of a severe Constitutional Crisis and my politics don’t fit the part of the state where I live.

And, yet, I won’t go anywhere unless something concrete has already happened. For instance, some sort of infrastructure designed to support domestic political refugees like me.

All I know is, I have a number of talents and when things grow existential, I might have an opportunity to shine.

Cyber Ninjas, The Arizona ‘Audit,’ A Second American Civil War & My ‘Hysterical’ ‘Doom Shit’


Ender

As it stands, for a lot of MAGA New Right cocksuckers, the idea of a “civil war” is simply the worst possible thing they can think of. They talk about how liberals are “forcing” them to radicalize and to want a civil war, but all that’s going on is they’re snowflakes and a civil war is just the worst possible thing they can think of that might happen.

They’re politically pouting, in other words.

And, yet, as January 6th showed, there comes a point where overwrought rhetoric causes something to actually happen in the real world. In other words, things continue to be pretty frothy within the MAGA New Right. Even though the majority of establishment Republicans have moved on to Ron DeSantis, Trump continues to have an absolute lock on his personality death cult. They can’t wrap their minds around the very liberal democracy concept of if you don’t get enough votes, you don’t get to have power, so they suck their own cock thinking up ways that Trump “really” won.

Where things get dangerous is when things in the real world begin to have a momentum out of the control of the establishment that just wants to sit back enjoy that plutocrat tax cut and young hack MAGA judges and think about how they’re going to finally strangle American democracy and rule as a minority.

So, in a sense, Trump is now a lingering, festering political problem that Republicans would rather just use an ointment on. He just won’t go away. And if he runs again in 2024, he’s going to win the nomination either by co-opting DeSantis or destroying him.

If Trump can just get out of the way, America is going to peacefully transition into an “lite touch” autocracy that is at first is an autocracy because the disconnect between the will of the people and who actually runs the country will be so enormous that all this talk about “don’t boo, vote” will be looked back upon as quaint. Voting will be meaningless and Republicans will so rig the system that they always win, no matter what.

People will stop voting and we become an autocracy.

Of course, as I keep “hysterically” saying, there are two things to consider with my “doom shit.” One is, this process could be bungled — probably because Trump tries to be the one to finish the transition into autocracy — or form follows function like it always does and the fascists of the MAGA New Right will become…fascists. They’ll realize they now have absolutely no checks on their power and they’ll start to knock heads –specifically, probably mine.

(Thankfully, I have a passport again, but, lulz.)

Anyway, let’s pause for a moment to ruminate on how “hysterical” I’m being. The type of person who calls me “hysterical,” probably is a traditional conservative who is so worried about “woke corporations” that they simply want to nullify any political argument they don’t like. They can’t comphrend my “doom shit” happening in the United States, so, by definition, it can’t happen.

Lulz!

And, in a sense, they know they won’t have anything to worry about if a MAGA New Right autocracy is established — they always follow the rules — so it’s all an abstract. They have a job and kids and a mortgage to worry about. For me, however, since I won’t fucking shut up about what a fucking cocksuckers our new autocratic overlords are, I have some very concrete things I have to worry about.

And, in general, given what I keep seeing actually happening, people who claim my belief that we have the existential choice of autocracy or civil war ahead of us is “doom shit” are living a delusion. Soon enough, either we accept that Republicans have established white Christian minority rule, or we don’t. Either the transition into autocracy is peaceful and long-lasting, or it’s not.

I hate violence, but we definitely need to start thinking about what happens if the MAGA New Right either bungles what should be a peaceful transition into autocracy or they start to believe their own press about how great and wonderful a civil war would be. (Ugh.)

Anyway, every day I see evidence I’m not being “hysterical” and my “doom shit” is just reality. Now what.

Regeneron And Ron DeSantis As America’s Eventual Equivalent To Putin


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

In his never-ending desire to “own the libs” Unfrozen Caveman Autocrat Governor Ron DeSantis has figured out a way to square a political circle. Instead of doing simple, basic, — but politically loaded — things like having mask mandates or vaccine mandates, he’s turning to a COVID19 treatment called Regeneron. That apparently one of DeSantis’ donors is connected to Regeneron is even better from his point of view.

America’s Future Autocrat

Given that FOX News is giving DeSantis a political reach around these days, it definitely seems as though he’s probably going to be the next president of the United States. I say this because Republicans are going to nullify any result in 2024 that they don’t like and, lulz, fuck you lib.

This leaves us with the question of how much of an autocrat DeSantis will be. It seems he will start off being just another conservative Republican and then, gradually grow more autocratic to the point that he changes the Constitution so he never has to leave office.

Generations of Americans will only know DeSantis as president, just like generations of Russians only know Putin.

Lulz, nothing matters.

Why Unfrozen Caveman Governor Ron DeSantis Is Willfully Killing De Voters


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Ron DeSantis

I continue to see a lot of shock and puzzlement on the part of Twitter liberals as to the behavior of putative 2024 Republican presidential nominee, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. But to me, DeSantis’ behavior seems completely logical relative to his goal of being elected president. Here’s why:

Negative Polarization Is Now Absolute
I can’t stress enough how absolute negative polarization is now in the United States, at least from my practical experience. It’s so absolute that the base of the Republican Party would rather people die than accept that COVID19 is a national health crisis. So, in a sense, yes, the MAGA New Right is a personality death cult. The wild thing is that, on an individual basis, the average MAGA New Right person doesn’t see themselves as being racist or misogynistic or any of the things that collective the MAGA New Right obviously is.

2022 (Or 2024) Is A Long Ways Away Politically
DeSantis is calculating that given how popular being an autocrat to “own the libs” is with the base of the Republican Party that he can actively work to kill voters and by the time 2022 (or 2024) rolls around it will all be a lulz. The pandemic will be over and the only thing stopping him from slingshotting himself into the presidency will be the 300 pound sack of shit known as Donald Trump. Lulz!

Autocracy Is Popular
Even though most MAGA people don’t really think in terms of autocracy, they definitely support it. My fear of a white Christian ethno state based on “blood and soil” is their dream — they fully embrace the “cruelty is the point” of Trumplandia. Of course, what will happen is autocracy will arrive and they will be shocked when a family member is murdered in cold blood by ICE or they can’t say what they like freely in a bar. But by that point, it will be too late and they, at least will have “owned the libs” forever.

The National MAGA New Right Electorate
What DeSantis is doing is the political equivalent of finger banging the national MAGA New Right base. They love, love, LOVE all his “lib owning” and autocratic, thuggish behavior that puts him on the national stage. They want MAGA without Trump so everything is strictly a policy debate. If that’s the case, then they win because they can both sides everything or simply shrug and say fuck you, lib.