Tag: South Korea

South Korea On My Mind

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Yet another expat from South Korea who I don’t know looked at my LinkedIn profile within the last 24 hours, which yet again makes me wonder if people in the South Korea expat community are still talking about me.

I don’t think you realize how colorful and over-the-top I was at the height of my bonkers behavior in Seoul in late 2006 – to early 2008. I was so over the top, so manic that someone even put me in a book about weird expats. That did wonders for my self-esteem, let me tell you.

“It was all long time ago and nobody cares anymore,” is what I like to tell myself, but I think maybe I’m underestimating the impact I had one my fellow expats all those years ago. There are two types of expats in South Korea — the ones who stay a short amount of time and the ones who never leave and go slowly insane. (I say this as someone who stayed too long and abruptly left South Korea because of “homesickness.”)

I love South Korea, but there is definitely a time limit for most people who live there for more than just a year or two. Something about Korean culture really, really gets to the Western mind and it takes a unique person with a hearty constitution to be able to survive for more than, say, five or six years.

Now that I think about it, my best friend from my Korea days is back in South Korea at the moment and I suppose it’s possible that in the process of catching up with people (she’s been out of country for a few years) I get brought up in conversation — expats love, love, love to gossip — and, ta-da someone gets curious enough that they look at my woefully unimportant LinkedIn profile.

The core of the six novel project I’m working on at the moment is pretty much what was going on in my life in late 2006 – early 2007 when I was running ROKon Magazine and DJing at Nori Bar in Sinchon. Those were the days, as they say. I am using my extremely romanticized memories of that era in my life — smashed into a few other eras of my life — as the basis of a murder mystery set in a small town in Virginia. The apex of my life to date. I’m hoping that I can ride those memories to sticking the landing with my first novels. Even if I’m going to be way too old to do such a thing by the time everything gets sorted out.

Anyway. I really miss South Korea, despite everything. But for the fact that little Koreans don’t like me (and I don’t like them) I would probably be still in South Korea, married to a Korean woman with a small brood of Amerasian children struggling to learn English like the rest of the Korean population.

This is 50: Being A Long-Term Expat In South Korea Changed My Life

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

So, this is 50. Or, almost. I will be turning that milestone year in a few months. It’s January 1st of this momentous year, so I find myself reflecting on my life to date and wondering how things got so fucked up.

I think the key thing that I simply could not process at the time is that there is a time limit for 99% of the people who are long term expats in South Korea. I love South Korea, its people and culture, but something about living there long-term as an expat can do a real number on your mind. I’ve compared it to being really close to a really hot — but extremely eccentric – girlfriend who ultimately you have to break up with because she’s driving you bonkers.

So, I think that if I had left South Korea in the spring of 2007 that maybe things would have worked out better for me. It would have been extremely painful in the short term — I was addicted to being an expat at the time — but in the long term I would have been able to sort out a lot of mental issues before they ultimately got out of control.

Maybe I would have drifted to New York City and been able to live my dream of being young-ish there. But, as it is, I waited too long and now even if I somehow manage to sell a break out first novel I’m just never going to be able to live the life of a smug wealthy bi-coastal liberal who flies over Iowa and laughs at the poor rubes below me.

Me, back when I was a young idiot expat in South Korea.

As it stands, if my literary dreams come true the whole context will be a lot different than I could have ever expected. Being a “success” suddenly in your early to mid 50s is a lot different than being a “success” suddenly in your late 30s. The failure of ROKOn Magazine kneecapped me on an emotional basis and it took me a very, very long time to get my wits about me once everything was said and done.

Despite all my depressing talk, I continue to have a hunch that it’s a least possible that The Finger of God might point at me in a rather dramatic fashion at some point between now and, say, spring 2025. I have no idea what that might be, but I do know my native skillset and I have “skillz” as they say that might come in handy one way or another.

Or, to put it another way — I’m not dead yet.

I Haven’t Felt This Alone Since South Korea

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Because of some quirks in my personal life, I find myself late Christmas Eve all alone. I haven’t been this alone since I was living in South Korea. If you want to feel alone, walk around the streets of a massive Asia city unable to speak the language day after day.

Anyway, I only write this post because, yet again, someone from South Korea is interested in me and I can see them looking at my Korea-specific posts. I really, at this point, want to be forgotten in South Korea — by both expats and Koreans alike. All that was a long time ago, guys. A very long time ago.

Yes, I was bonkers and drunk all the time, but I’ve changed a great deal since all of that. It’s like I’ve had a brain transplant. I was full of manic pride back then and it didn’t help that soju hits my body like some sort of warped crank. I get really loud and hyper if I drink a lot of soju. Which, back in the day, I did.

But the idea that — anyone — would give a shit about me in South Korea evokes a great deal of mixed emotions. I know I wronged a few people in South Korea who have a reason to want me to come back to South Korea so they can, I don’t know, yell at me. And, thankfully, there are a few people I made really happy while I was there and they would just like to hang out.

At the moment — I’m not coming back to South Korea. I may want to, but if I do, it’s going to be for a very specific reason: I’ll suddenly have enough money to do it. There are a few ways that this might happen rather abruptly, but the one I’m hoping for is I sell my first novel and it’s a big enough success that that unto itself, could fund a trip back to Asia for a little while.

And, yet, at the moment that’s very much a daydream.

It could be a decade — or more! — before I ever set foot in Seoul again. But while there’s life there’s hope.

Sometimes, I Wonder

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

There’s no reason for anyone from South Korea to care one bit about me. And, yet, to this day, occasionally someone from ROK will either look at my LinkedIn profile or look at this site.

It’s very curious.

I haven’t been in South Korea in a long, long time. For me, it’s a very romanticized era in my life, which is the inspiration for a six novel project. The idea that anyone that I know from my days in ROK would even think about me is something I find very puzzling.

I suppose I made a bigger impression on people that I realized. And I have to remember that the long-term expats in South Korea have a very, very, very long collective memory. And that doesn’t even begin to address all the Koreans who were around, watching, as I went rather bonkers for a few months in late 2006 – 2008.

It makes me wonder what might happen if I ever return to South Korea for a little trip. It’s not going to happen anytime soon, but there are definitely a few people in South Korea who would have a VERY STRONG reaction to seeing me again.

The ironic thing about it all is, of course, that I’m a very different person than I was back then. I’ve turned into a graybeard and have far more humility than I ever did while I was living in South Korea.

In a way, I wish people in South Korea would just forget me. And, yet, I have to accept that I was very much a larger than life figure for a brief and shining moment a long time ago.

Young Expat In Love

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I was really….unique…in late 2006 – early 2007 when I was living in Seoul as an expat. I was a DJ at the best expat bar in the city while at the same time struggling to keep ROKon Magazine afloat. I lost both of these things around my birthday in February 2007. Despite this, the memory of what was going on at that point in my life is seared my mind to the point that it’s pretty much at the forefront of my mind constantly even to this day.

The late Annie Shapiro and me back when I was cute.

Given this situation, I have really, really dug deep into what happened to me in Seoul for this six novel project I’m working on. In fact, I would go so far as to say there are maybe six or seven people in the world who, if they should ever read these novels, will be able to pick out exactly what the inspiration from Seoul I’m using to flesh out it’s universe.

In my mind, at least, there is a direct one-to-one between elements in this six novel project at what I remember of my life in Seoul. It all reminds me of how in “Young Shakespeare in Love” you get to see the real world inspiration for some of the major elements of The Bard’s works.

My time in Seoul was some of the most creative of my entire life. It all came at a price, of course — it all kind of drove me bonkers. The pressure of effectively rather abruptly, within the context of the microscopic Seoul expat community being a public figure really, really, got to me. And all of it was happening in the context of how being an expat in South Korea can really do a number on your mental health just in general.

I love South Korea and its culture, but living there long term is like having a really intense relationship with a really hot, but very eccentric girlfriend. You get to have all this fun with her, but all that fun comes at a pretty significant cost.

Anyway, there is probably a 50 / 50 chance that I will return to South Korea for a little visit before I drop dead. My current goal is I’d like to return around the 20th anniversary of me getting there the first time around in the summer of 2004. It’s not looking like that is going to happen at the moment — I’m just a broke ass writer — but A LOT can happen between now and then.

What Is It This Time

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I often say that if you live in South Korea long enough as an expat it’s something of a black hole. There is an Event Horizon and you never really leave, even if physically you’re on the other side of the globe.

It was a long time ago and nobody cares anymore. (I hope.)

So, when I see in my Webstats that someone from Seoul obviously came looking for me online and found this Website, all I can think is, “What is it this time.” Add to this that someone I know from my time in South Korea who is still there looked at my LinkedIn profile leads me to believe there might be a little bit of chatter about me in Seoul currently.

I was in South Korea — and Seoul specifically — a long, long time ago. But I will admit that I had a very -VERY — memorable time there. I was doing a lot of things for a short amount of time. I was both a magazine publisher and a DJ. In fact, there was moment in time in late 2006 when I was probably one of the most famous expats in Seoul. I was a bit overexposed.

But that was all so long ago it makes me wonder what it possibly be happening NOW that would make anyone talk about me. It’s a very jarring situation where I’m pretty isolated at the moment and all I do is just work on my six novel project and aggressively daydream. Though given what’s going on with the novel and how much I draw upon my personal history to tell the story, I do still think a whole lot about my time in Seoul.

A cornerstone of the plot of the novel is I’m re-creating what was going on in my life in 2006 — 2007 only in a completely different context. Anyway, whatever is causing people in Seoul to be interested in me now can only be so bad. I hope, at least.

A Return To South Korea


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

On or about July 24, 2004, I arrived in South Korea for the first time. I was a down on my luck drunk American at the time. Little did I know the adventures that would await me.

It’s fast approaching 20 years since that fateful day, and I find myself wanting to return to South Korea (specifically Incheon, Seoul and Busan) one last time before I shuffle off this mortal coil.

While I think I can pull it off, the whole issue of when it might happen is still very much up in the air. I’d like to do it in 2024 as close to 20 years to the date as I could get, but that’s highly unlikely. More likely, I’ll be happy if I can accomplish this goal a few years on either side of the exact anniversary.

My favorite ROKon Magazine cover.

If I did do such a trip, it would be part of a Japan – ROK – Southeast Asia trip of about two weeks. Now, one issue I’m well aware of is there both a lot of love and a lot of hate for me floating around Asia, even to this day. For every person who would flip out seeing me for a good reason, there would likely be two or three who would do the same but out of anger.

I was a very interesting person in Asia.

Anyway, it’s all very up in the air. I just have a general desire to return one last time to my old stomping grounds in South Korea. I’ve changed a lot — a whole lot — and know that but for the mutual distaste between myself and little Korean kids, I would still be there.

Sometime in 2004.

But there is always the very small chance that I will sell these four novels I’m working on and will make enough money that way that going to Asia won’t be that big a deal anymore for me. That, of course, is at the moment just another instance of me being very, very, VERY delusional.

One man’s hope is another man’s delusion.

Seoul On My Mind


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I was in South Korea for about five years total. It was a very unique situation for a number of reasons. I grew up a lot while I lived in Asia and it was there that I fully began to understand how creative I am.

But one thing they don’t tell you about living in South Korea as an expat is there is something akin to an Event Horizon. If you become a long-term expat (longer than, say 1 year) you never really ever leave the country. There comes a point when some how, some way you’ll continue to get the occasional ping from South Korea to remind you that you can never, ever really leave.

One reason this has happened to me now and again many years after I left South Korea is I was definitely a larger-than-life character within the Seoul expat scene. Add to this the fact that the Seoul expat scene tends to strip mine any creative ability you have and you have a recipe for me being remembered long after I physically left.

Every once in a while, I wonder if any of the many young Koreans I taught English to over the years will ever try to look me up as adults. That is going to be very surreal if it ever happens. Existential, even.

Having said all that, I have a general inclination to return to Asia one more time for a few weeks before I drop dead. It would be fun to simply show up in Seoul and see if anyone noticed — and what their reaction would be. Almost all the long-term expats I knew are long gone, but I’m sure there are a few extreme long-term expats who would remember me, not to mention the odd Korean here or there.

But all of that was long time ago. I’m not the person I once was. I have a lot more wisdom and humility, for starters. And I’m also well aware that I have Romanticized my time in South Korea and it’s come to represent my lost youth. Yet, that’s life, I guess.

I will be interesting to see if I ever get the chance to return.

’28 Hours Before: Train To Daegu’ #WuFlu #CoronaVirus

Yep.
Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Oh boy. The next 24 to 48 hours will be crucial in determining our collective fate. If what I fear what will happen, happens, and the nation I love second only to the USA — South Korea — effectively implodes from an exponential growth in WuFlu cases, well, fasten your seat belts.

We’re out of the blue and into the black.

What I mean by this it will be South Korea that marks the “inciting incident” in the real life horror movie we may be about to lurch into. If by Monday the entire economy of South Korea has ground to a halt because of either cases or the fear of getting WuFlu, I have a feeling that someone in the United States might finally notice that there’s something going on other than the circle jerk of the 2020 Election Campaign.

Source: Twitter

By this coming Monday, the global economy could be exactly where it would be if there was a war between the DPRK and ROK. In fact, we don’t even know what’s going on in the black box of the DPRK. We could very well have an actual fighting war between the Koreas far, far sooner than we ever imagined. Or, put another way, you can’t have exponential WuFlu case growth in the ROK without some serious consequences.

And, yet, let’s step back. I’m making some assumptions. It’s possible that I’m getting way ahead of myself. Things may — as everyone in Trump Administration wants me to believe — fizzle out and we can all go back to praising the Orange Calf of Trump. I keep screwing up — and just being flat wrong — so I’m not prepared to say my end times scenario is in anyway actually going to happen.

But, like I said, the next 48 hours may be crucial. I only say that because of what’s going on in South Korea. They seem to have a perfect storm on their hands and things are moving so fast that the government may simply not be able to control the situation now.

One important thing to note — there are still very few deaths associated with Wuflu outside out Wuhan itself. I keep hearing reports of what sound like a new hotzone in Qom, Iran…but….I dunno yet. Those numbers may be the result of bad translation or bad reporting, or both.

Anyway. Buckle up.

Talk To Me Internet: Great Conversation About #Korea

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Here’s a great conversation about South Korea and it’s culture you will enjoy.