Tag: screenwriting

Dreaming Of Hollywood: My Storytelling Ability Has Gotten A Lot Better


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Even though I’m really old relative to most people who want to break into Hollywood via screenwriting, I do, at times, have a larger-than-life personality. Especially when I’m liquored up.

So, at times, I find himself wondering if I could replicate my “fame” in the Seoul expat community somewhere actually important like NYC or LA. While I love NYC, I suspect that given the more fluid nature of LA life (specifically how much of the place revolves around storytelling) I might find success there easier than NYC.

The novel I’m working on is going really, really well. It’s still a huge amount of work, but it’s a lot of fun.

I continue to think about at least three screenplays that deal with Big Ideas in an entertaining fashion. But, as I keep saying, actually buying FinalDraft would be the end of the beginning of the process, not the beginning. I refuse to buy FinalDraft if I can’t immediately sit down and start writing a screenplay.

With that in mind, I need to start reading screenplays and watching more movies. I’m so wrapped up in developing and writing the novel, that I really live in a content bubble right now.

Anyway. Something’s gotta give. I’m not going to live forever and I really want a second creative “tract.”

But I really want to finish this novel.

It’s The Human Element Of Screenwriting That Appeals To Me


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

By pretty much any metric I’m a failure and a loser. But there is one metric under which I excel — if you get me liquored up at a cocktail party I usually chat up the best looking woman in the room and start some pretty thought-provoking conversations about a wide-ranging series of topics.

Now, let me stress, I’m well aware that every drunk is the “funniest guy in the room” but it does appear from my time in Seoul that I actually was extremely interesting in that specific situation.

With that in mind, I find myself this New Year’s Eve mulling tipping my toe into screenwriting because I’ve reached a pretty stable point in the development of the novel I’m working on and need the rush of a big, new creative “track” to keep things interesting as I plunge into writing a serious first draft of this novel that won’t, at last, embarrass me.

I have specific conditions going forward towards my ultimate goal — hitting the pavement in LA at some point to see if I can sell a script. My biggest self-imposed condition is I have to have three completed scripts before I’ll do any such harebrained thing.

I listen to the “Script Notes” podcast and realize — oh boy — how cutthroat the screenwriting business is even if you’ve actually gone the traditional route and are, like, a normal human being. I’m about 20 years too old to be doing any of this, but I’m creative and — under the right conditions — reasonably charismatic.

So, I know if the issue is more a matter of how personable I can be in a social setting rather than my age or experience, that I have a decent shot at getting a lot closer to selling a script than you might think. I love to talk and tell stories and if I actually have a few scripts to hand someone given the opportunity, then, well, who knows.

But I have to have paper. I have to have actual completed scripts to hand to people. And that’s going to take work and, most of all, time. I’m hoping there might be some cross-pollination between the novel track and the screenplay track. One will help me look at the other in a different way.

My main focus will continue to be, of course, the novel. I guess, however, that I feel enough self-confidence that things are pretty stable on that front that I can turn my attention to a second “track.”

I just wish I wasn’t so fucking old.

If I Had A Screenwriting Passion Project, This Would Be It: The Trapped Man Of Babie Doły


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Something about this story evokes such horror in me that I think it would be a great, great movie — or maybe Stephen King novel. And it’s real. It’s fucking real. It really happened. I could see it as a spiritual successor to The Shawshank Redemption.

In 1951 a German soldier was found alive after being trapped with five comrades following the dynamiting of their underground storehouse in 1945. They are believed to have been looting the storehouse and the retreating soldiers who dynamited the tunnel did not know they were there. The stores contained a large amount of food, drink, candles and other goods so the soldiers were able to survive. Four of the soldiers died (Two suicides soon after being trapped, two unknown causes) leaving only two survivors. One of them suffered a heart attack and died upon leaving the tunnel.[2][3][4] The final soldier was said to have made a full recovery, but his identity was never revealed.[5] — Wikipedia.

Review: Exposition, Thy Name Is ‘Tenet’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I am a very harsh critic of movies. I am known to walk out of movies the moment I feel they’re not working. So, in a sense, Tenet got the ultimate honor from me — I stuck around to see how it ended.

The issue for me about Tenet was it was an excellent premise with a piss-poor implementation. I say this specifically because virtually all the dialog is exposition. And there’s very little character development. I struggled to care about these characters. In fact, the only reason why I cared about anything that took place was the premise was so intriguing that I wanted to see how it ultimately was wrapped up.

I did love the movie’s cinematography. It was Oscar-worthy it was so good. That was another thing the movie had going for it during the otherwise interminable exposition — I loved how the movie looked.

It was interesting that the inciting incident happened in the first scene. Why this is important is if Christopher Nolan had gone with a more traditional structure for the movie, then maybe there could have been more character development. Then when the action started, I would have had some sense of the characters and cared one way or another what happened to them.

I understand Nolan’s vision — he wanted to make a really thought provoking movie. And he did. The movie IS really thought provoking. The only problem is, at least for me, is the movie would have been far more grounded if it was a bit more traditional. I think, maybe, the problem was a screenplay. Not only is much of the screenplay consumed by exposition, but what exposition there is is extremely confusing to the point of being unintelligible.

As a person writing a novel, I found myself thinking up a way not only to explain what was going on better, but to do so in a way that gave me time to have actual dialog. This problem of dialog-as-exposition was so bad that the movie went from really interesting, innovative action set pieces to going to a stand still so people could explain the movie to us. It was just really dull. And not in a 2001-dull-but-brilliant way, either. It was just dull. There were so many other ways that exposition could have been presented that would have made the movie far more engaging and accessible.

It’s as if Nolan studied Inception and decided what made that movie popular was audiences enjoying trying to figuring what was going on. There are plenty of ways the movie could have been more straightforward and still have been just as intriguing AND would have entertained audiences. Just because you jumbled up a movie’s conceit, doesn’t mean it’s “smart.” It’s just really irritating because you’re making the audience think far more than is necessary.

I think I’m being a little too snobbish because I’m writing a novel and I want it to be really, really, really accessible, so when someone like Nolan goes out of his way to do the opposite it grates on my nerves.

I have to give a shout out to Elizabeth Debick’s “pins” as the Brits would say. It was amusing that the producers went WAAAAY out of their way to feature those sky high legs of hers. She’s a real stunner.

In general, Tenet was a good movie and I recommend it. I just feel as though it was something of a miss opportunity. It could have been a whole lot better if they had simply followed traditional storytelling conventions.

High Concept: ‘Chernobyl’ Meets ‘Arrival’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I have had this idea for a movie or novel rolling around in my mind for a least a decade. It probably would be done best as a high concept film because to do it as a novel would simply way, way, way too long because of all research required.

The idea is this: what if aliens arrived and gave us a pretty astonishing opportunity, but with a catch: humanity would have to work together.

Now, it’s a well-worn trope that the world, given such an opportunity would unite. But, lulz, that’s bullshit. (I think the movie “Arrival” actually uses this concept some.)

Anyway, I love the HBO series “Chernobyl” and it seems like that time of life-or-death tone would be perfect for such a movie. I like the idea that the audience would know the aliens are asking all of humanity an existential question and the drama comes with how badly we fail at this particular test every step of the way. (Though, hopefully, in the end we would get or shit together.)

This movie would be very deep and fill the audience with dread, just like Chernobyl. I would write the screenplay myself, but not only am I working on a novel, I have a different concept for my first screenplay, should I ever get around to writing one.

The Problem With Star Wars


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I beginning the process of writing a screenplay as something of a creative “Plan B” and I am using the original Star Wars screenplay as my “textbook.” The interesting thing is, I find myself worrying if I can use its character concepts and structure beat-for-beat now or not. Is it even possible to have a traditional Hero-saves-the-princess type story in the modern media environment?

This gets me thinking about the clusterfuck that is the state of the Star Wars franchise. Now, let me begin by saying, I honestly don’t know how much of this problem is “real” and how much of it is the Russians testing out new ratfucking strategies. I say this because I’m not really the fanbase of the franchise. I love the first two original movies and all the rest of them I can take or leave.

It is easy to accept the narrative that the Star Wars fanbase is male and the executives at Disney — specifically Kathleen Kennedy — are all woke feminists who want to cram their ideology down the throats of the misogynistic fanboys.

I simply don’t think things are that cut and dried.

The whole thing, in fact, is extremely murky and and open to a whole lot of different interpretations. The reason for this is Star Wars is such a potent cultural force — and a lucrative one to boot — that the whole thing is being torn in a number of different directions for a number of different reasons.

I’m not going to play Joe Rogan and try to square the circle in some hyper masculine, yet earnest way. Sometimes, you have to actually have an opinion and own it.

With that in mind, I would say, the problem with Star Wars is, at its core, an issue with storytelling. If Disney would simply go back to storytelling basics, then a lot of the problems the franchise has would be solved. Of course, even the “basics” of storytelling are loaded in this era of Woke Hollywood. I’m of the opinion that if you simply tell a good story, the audience will follow.

As such, maybe Disney needs to lay off trying to sell toys or use the culture significance of Star Wars to change the world. Maybe start a new Star Wars trilogy that is all fan service.

Though, I will note that the more I think about it, the more there’s one specific issue that is causing all these problems for Disney when it comes to Star Wars — they don’t have one, specific visionary to guide it into the future. They have J.J. Abrams, but he just doesn’t seem like a fan of the series.

If I could wave a magic wand, I would give Kevin Smith a three picture deal to fix Star Wars. He’s a huge fan and probably has a good sense of what the fanbase is looking for.

Anyway, I don’t really have any skin in this battle. Star Wars has always suffered from a problem with a consistency of tone. It’s just sad that the problems — be they real or not — are apparently intractable and unlikely to be solved any time soon, if ever.

How To Reboot The ‘Alien’ Franchise



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Absolutely no one listens to me. The number of people who read this blog on a daily basis is barely a rounding error for places like The New York Times. But I do know some about how to tell a good story and what audiences expect.

So, let’s talk about the Alien franchise.

The existential problem with how the franchise developed is the producers made some pretty big mistakes after Aliens. Alien and Aliens are two solid films. And, really, if they hadn’t choked about showing the xenomorphs on Earth as was teased at the end of Aliens, things would have gone really well from there.

But, alas, a number of different things happened.

One, as I understand it, Sigourney Weaver started to have such power over the franchise that it kind of warped what happened to it. Also, the little girl who played Newt simply wasn’t a kid anymore by the time the third movie was being produced. Lastly, CGI simply wasn’t where it needed to be to show what everyone wanted to see — xenomorphs consuming Earth.

Here’s how I would reboot the series with all that in mind.

First, you need to remember what the whole thing is about — Alien was a horror movie. So, you get someone like Eli Roth to direct a totally rebooted series. Give him a three picture deal to give the rebooted franchise some much-needed consistency of tone.

Then, you cast someone like Ana de Armas as the new Ripley. Give her, too, a three picture deal.

I would then map out three movies so you had a three-movie arc like in the Dark Night series of movies. I would totally reboot the entire franchise, leaving only the look and feel of the xenomorphs the same. But the point of doing this is the movies would be fucking scary and, to the extent that Alien was gory, gory.

The premise is really strong and there’s a built-in fan base that would flock to a rebooted series if you did as I suggest. Fans like me are extremely annoyed with how the Alien franchise has totally lost its way.

Come on Hollywood, you can do better.

The Quiet Before The Storm: Daydreaming About Hollywood On A Dull August Evening



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Usually, August is good for one good astonishing surprise. But, so far, things have been exceedingly meh. It’s normally just about now when breaking news event forces all the Beautiful People drinking pina coladas on the a Seychelles beach have to rush home because everything has changed.

If you’re an astute media consumer, you will notice that the Beautiful People let interns take over the office and we end up with some very earnest, very dumb articles that leave you asking, “How did THAT get published?”

Now, I’d prefer if some Big Event happens in August that no one gets hurt and it’s “fun interesting.” But, as of right now, it seems as though August is simply going to be the quiet before the storm of the fall when we’re going to have the double wamny of a the flu season smashing into the COVID19 pandemic and a pitched battle to see who POTUS is going to be.

For my part, I find myself thinking about starting work on the development of a screenplay. I’m already cruising along with a novel and this weekend I had something of an existential moment when I realized I do not have a Plan B. As such, I think I’m going to use a number of things I’ve learned from developing this novel to begin working on a screenplay. I’m going to use Star Wars as my “textbook.”

Now, I know I’m being delusional. I’m too old, for starters. I’m far my likely to sell a first novel given my specific circumstances than I am a screenplay. But something about having the adventure of developing and writing a screenplay (or two) then traveling all the way to LA to see if I can accidentally-on-purpose run into a producer or some other Hollywood type is very enticing.

In fact, my personality is probably the only thing I have going for me on that front at this point. I’ve got solid talent, but, as I mentioned, I’m kind of old to get into the screenwriting business. But, again, I know that if I have a screenplay finished that I have the wherewithal to fly to LA (on the other side of the country) and hit the pavement. The idea of “somehow” being invited to a Hollywood party while I’m in town and “somehow” catching the attention of someone of note at the party is just the long-term project that appeals to me on a very basic level.

I know myself well enough to know that if I “somehow” was to find myself in a Hollywood party that all I would have to do is get liquored up and before you know it, I’d be Quentin Tarantino in the movie “Sleep With Me” pontificating on a wide range of thought provoking ideas and ending up with a three picture deal before it was all over with. (This is an extreme romanticized dream on my part. Probably none of that would happen, but, lulz, this is a very dull August evening.)

So, as such, I’m going to try — try — to have a Plan B, C and D that I can turn to if and when disaster strikes and I simply can’t continue with the novel I’m working on. The novel itself is really, really good (at least relative to my abilities) but I’m growing nervous that I’ve put all my eggs in one basket and I need to have a few backups in case something out of my control happens.

Anyway. What else am I supposed to do as House Trump consolidates power and turns us into a fascist state?

Mulling Dreams of Hollywood



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

My entire creative life has become consumed by the novel I’m developing and writing. And, yet, as my storytelling abilities have improved, I find myself mulling the idea of doing something with a screenplay.

The only reason why I do so is now that have the self-confidence necessary to actually maybe pull off writing a novel, I think about how fun it would be to have a second creative “track” involving a screenplay. Now that I know in general how to pull off a plot, I find myself thinking about telling a very simple, straightforward story in the guise of a screenplay.

I have at least a dozen decent movie concepts floating around in my head. To date, I haven’t done anything with them because I felt I needed a collaborator of some sort. But now after having developed a novel for two years, I’m beginning to believe I can write a screenplay without any help. One thing I really want to do is tell a very simple story.

It seems to me that just like The Girl Who Played With Fire by Stieg Larsson was my “textbook” for the novel I’m working on that the screenplay to Star Wars should be the textbook for any screenplay I write as a first effort. I’m not much for spending a decade working on anything. I simply don’t feel I have the time at this point in my life. Whatever I do, I’m going to need to develop and write quickly.

It seems to me that I should stay primarily focused on the novel because of my age. Not a lot of middle-aged dudes come out of nowhere to sell a script in Hollywood. What’s more, I don’t even live anywhere near Hollywood. So, I’d have to finish a script then fly cross country to Los Angeles and hit the pavement in hopes of running into someone who might be able to help me. Now, I am notorious for finding myself chatting up “famous” people, so I’m willing to deluded myself enough to try to pull that off.

It would be fun to have the occasional adventure in LA, with a finished script in my hand, looking for someone to pitch it to. I’m an extreme extrovert and I love to shmoose and go to parties and have interesting conversations. That’s a pretty big portion of work in Hollywood, it seems to me. But, like I said, I’m kinda old.

I think, for the time being, what I might do is simply every once in awhile give myself a few hours each week to do some serious development on this one screenplay concept I have. I like to think of it is as a “scifi Network,” in the sense that it would deal with a lot of macro political and sociological concepts but in a gauzy, entertaining fashion that would be set in the “future.” The point of the screenplay would be, much like the novel I’m working on, to give me an outlet for my white hot rage against the Trump Administration.

But I am no where near even beginning to develop any screenplay. I’m going to stay focused on the novel for the time being. Maybe once I finish the first draft of the novel I will turn around and by FinalDraft so I can start seriously thinking about writing something.

Being Delusional About My Hollywood Prospects



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

There’s a theory that some people — like Donald Trump — think they are able to do things they clearly are not able to do. But no one reads this blog, so let me indulge myself in some pretty outlandish daydreaming.

I’m well on my way to figuring out how I develop a piece of mass media. As such, once I finish the two novel connected to this story I’m working on, I will have the experience necessary to turn my sights to something like a screenplay. I keep thinking I can have different “tracks,” but that’s just not possible. I’m completely obsessed with this story and as such I’m too wrapped up with it to turn my attention elsewhere for the time being.

But when I do finish these novels, I have a number of very strong screenplay concepts that I will dive into. Here’s where the delusion comes in. I believe if I can just finish a screenplay that I’m personable enough as to have a decent shot of selling it.

Now, there are some obvious caveats to this idea.

One, is I’m going to have to visit LA every once in a while. I have a knack for meeting famous people and if I just endup in Hollywood on a sporadic basis after finishing a screenplay that I have a decent shot of being able to get someone in the Hollywood community to read it.

Again, I’m obviously being extremely delusional to think this.

Add to this the fact that I’m too old to sell anything to anyone for any reason and I really am being delusional.

But one man’s delusion is another man’s dream.

You never can tell.