Tag: Rona Rock

Rona Rock: Maybe Have Miley Cyrus Team Up With Murda Beatz?


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Absolutely no one listens to me. I need to be working on my novel because of that. But it seems to me that if Miley Cyrus came out with her own version of the album “Promiscuous” by Nellie Furtado and produced by Timbaland, then maybe we might go back to having good modern music.

Instead of Timbaland, maybe have Murda Beatz produce the album? I was realy impressed with Murda Beatz song “Motive” with Ariana Grande and it seems like a great stepping off point to a Rona (pop-rock) album. The thing about Ms. Cyrus is she has a pop-rock voice and she desperately wants to sing screaming versions of New Wave songs.

So, I would have them team up and do an album that was pop-rock but was a modern interpolation of New Wave. Even though Ms. Cyrus apparently really is a nuts as she comes off — take your meds, kid — she is a real talent and she’s just got to find the right outlet for her desire to be a pop-rock star.

If you could give me an entire album of songs that were like “Motive” but sounded like something you might have heard from Blondie, The Talking Heads or The Human League, well, that would be pretty damn cool.

But, again, absolutely no one listens to me.

Rona Rock — The Curious Case Of Miley Cyrus


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Miley Cyrus’ career is in a curious place. She’s doing all these covers as if she’s struggling to figure out What’s Next. I would suggest that this struggle comes from her voice — she has a pop-rock voice so it’s tough for her to pull off a hard rock song.

There are a number of different ways she could go. One is bank back into the adult contemporary crap that we have to suffer through right now or she could push ahead into harder rock. It seems if she decides to take the latter course that she should team up with Butch Vig of “Heart Shaped Box” fame and the band Garbage. I could definitely see Ms. Cyrus as a successor to Shirley Manson. But Ms. Cyrus would have to choose her songs carefully.

And, yet, who am I kidding. It definitely seems as though there are some macro trends at work that indicate rock is dead and never coming back for any reason. So, it’s not like anyone — even Ms. Cyrus — could produce good music and get any popular attention.

Oh well. I would note, however, that Ms. Cyrus is smoking hot. I still don’t understand what’s going on with her mentally, though. She’s so out there that I always thought it was some sort of act. But she continues to act so bonkers on a consistent basis that I’m beginning to think that’s really who she is. Which is…interesting.

Taylor Swift’s Missed Opportunity


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Let me begin by saying Taylor Swift is an accomplished singer-songwriter. And that’s not what may problem with her is. Her fans are totally right to adore her and love everything she produces. My problem is with how it seems every album she drops is fan service.

Now, let me be clear — I’m well aware that because I’m a white male that any criticism of Swift is opening me up to her fans flipping out. Swift’s fanbase is musical identity politics for young women. My issue is Swift is…maybe challenge her fanbase a little bit to the extent that people outside of that fan base might get good music, too?

As a counter-example, take Miley Cyrus. She is really exploring a New Sound — a call it Rona Rock — and going in some pretty cool musical directions that has the potential to greatly expand her fan base. Swift, meanwhile, is making good-to-great music…but it’s fan service. Exclusively fan service.

I guess Swift’s thinking is — she’s got a good thing, why fix what isn’t broken. It just seems to me that this is a very short-sighted world view in the sense that is she just going to coast on her fans for the next 20 to 30 years? That’s not really a recipe for any type of long-term cultural relevance.

Maybe Swift just wants to be a more popular version of Shania Twain? I guess there’s nothing wrong with that. May pique is if Swift put out a rock album, maybe rock would come back, if just for a moment. What Cyrus is doing suggests that that is at least possible.

Anyway. I got no beef with Swift. Just think there’s a miss opportunity for both she and her fans.

‘Rona Rock:’ Miley Cyrus Is Making The Best Pop-Rock Music Out Today


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m shocked how great the music Miley Cyrus is producing right now is. It blows my mind. It’s actual…gasp…pop rock! She seems to have finally figured out how to use her particular vocal style in the pop rock genre. I call this New Sound, “Rona Rock” but that’s just me.

In particular, I really like her duet with Dua Lipa “Prisoner.” That’s what I’m talking about. That’s a pretty traditional pop rock banger. It’s got a beat and you can dance to it, as they say. Keep doing that! Go that direction!

I could do without the allusion to period cunnilingus in the video. Jesus Christ, ladies. But the song itself is great. I love it. I’m probably going to listen to it a zillian times over the next few weeks.

The question, of course, is this just a blip or a trend? I continue to be astonished by the cultural ignorance younger people. It’s like they barely know any music outside of The Beatles that’s older than 30 years old. It makes you wonder what happens if they suddenly discover the entirety of The British Invasion. Or punk. Or whatever. Good music.

Anyway. Keep up the good work Miley!

‘Don’t Block The Box’ — A Song Proposal For A ‘Rona Rock’ ‘New Sound’ Song


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

First, no one listens to me. Absolutely no one listens to me. So, really, I’m just rambling into the darkness of the aether right now. But while I was in Atlanta on my personal Writer’s Retreat, I saw a sign that said, “Don’t Block The Box.”

I found that phrase catchy and, in the right context, kind of suggestive. Like the female equviolent of “Don’t cockblock me.” There are a few women I could see being interesting such a song — Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry and Ariana Grande being among them.

But, here’s the deal — I would want this song to be more like the songs found on Nelly Furtado’s “Loose” album than the shit we have to listen to now. So, what you might do is something like this:

Start with this song:

I say this because “Kickstart my heart” has the same beat structure as “Don’t block the box.”And, I want this to be a fast pop-rock song. Something you can really dance to. It has a real guitar and real fucking drums.

Then what you do is, update the above song by giving it some modern influence — this song.

So, what I was thinking is — you get Katy Perry to sing the main part of the song, then throw in a rap aspect to the song, maybe like this song:

If you think about it, rock and rap go together far better than rap and the fucking shit of Adult Contemporary. Rap being co-oped by Adult Contemporary is a modern crime against music.

I guess what I’m saying is I want an actual good song that doesn’t insult your musical palet to be produced using the title “Don’t Block The Box.”

I would try to write the lyrics myself but the more I work on the novel the more I realize there’s absolutely no point to do that unless I’m willing to do it right. Writing usable song lyrics is tough and requires at least a basic knowledge of music.

So, I’ve decided just to simply explain the concepts of songs rather than try to write the lyrics. Though I find writing lyrics so relaxing I might do it just for the sheer enjoyment of it.

The finished product, I guess, in my fevered “delusional and stupid” mind would sound like more pop version of this song with a rap aside, while keeping the speed and traditional rock “wall of sound.”

The Absence of Pop-Rock In The Top 40 Is…Odd?


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I was DJ in Seoul for a few memorable months in late 2006, early 2007. There was a very specific type of music that was popular at the bar I was working at. It’s pop rock. It’s music that’s got a beat and you can dance to it.

Since about 2008 or so, pop-rock has dropped of the face of the earth. Don’t quite understand what’s going on. As I keep wondering, is this an existential situation or just the right cultural conditions haven’t occurred yet? Or, more specifically, is this an issue of the Great Musician theory of musical history or simply general macro trends that no one can control?

I don’t know. It’s just frustrating. It would be nice to have good-to-great music to listen (and dance) to again.

To date, Trump’s time in office has been completely value-free on a cultural level. He hasn’t caused any change in music at all. It’s wild. Surreal, even.

Skylar Gray, Lorde, Billie Eilish & The Untapped American Rock Audience


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

What’s interesting about Blur — one of my favorite acts — is how their one big hit in the US, Song #2, is not really their normal song. They actually usually do moody, ruminative ballads, not rock bops.

While that happened 20 odd years ago, if you look how successful Guns & Roses continue to be performing live, then it definitely seems as though there is a pretty large untapped audience for good old rock music in the USA. Or, put another way, the audience is there but the dynamics of the modern music marketplace just don’t make pop rock tenable.

The only people willing to actually BUY MUSIC are tweeners who are so busy shaking their ass on Tik-Tok that they’re oblivious to the wonders of good old rock music. So, as such, it makes you wonder how you might change that.

There are three women I can think of who could pull of a Song #2 kind of hit — Skylar Gray, Lorde and Billie Eilish. They have very strong, very rock-friendly voices. I would go so far as to say that Ms. Gray is pretty much one slight tick in popular tastes away from being a massive rock star.

Or, put another way, if Ms. Gray teamed up with Annie Clark to write a thumping rock song, it would be a huge hit. (I keep thinking up different parings of singers because I’m desperate to listen to pop rock again.) Americans natively love a really powerful wall-of-noise rock song and the music industry is pretty much saying fuck you.

It’s all very frustrating.

Miley Cyrus Should Work With Timbaland


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I loved Nelly Furtado’s “Loose” album. In fact, that’s probably one of the last albums I thought was “good.” In fact, what’s notable about Miley Cyrus’ latest work is how much it sounds like that album. Sorta.

So it seems as though Ms. Cyrus is kind of looking for a “new sound.” It would be cool to bookend the rise (and fall?) of Adult Contemporary as “pop” with Timbaland producing an album.

I continue to wonder if I’m just old and all this talk of a “New Sound” is just me feeling nostalgic for my lost youth. It definitely seems as though rock is dead, never to return. Tastes have a changed, moved on and there’s no going back. It definitely seems as though that’s what’s going on.

The reason why I say this is Adult Contemporary’s tyranny is based on the cold, hard metrics of the music industry. With the rise of steaming services, it’s a lot more difficult for a “new sound” to pop out because how are they going to make any money? As such, you have to find and established act to take a risk with a “new sound.”

They have a vested interest in no doing so, so, it never happens.

Anyway. I hate Adult Contemporary.

Billie Eilish, Rock Star?


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

One of the seminal musical events of the 80s was Aerosmith teaming up with Run DMC to do a fusion version of “Walk This Way.” It was an earthquake because rap threw down the gauntlet — it was here and it was here to stay.

Now, flash forward to 2020 and we got a problem. Adult Contemporary, which is just warmed over Steely Dan that’s been reanimated like some sort of musical zombie, has dominated the Top 40 for about 15 years. Something. Has. Gotta. Fucking. Give.

So, maybe we plot a return of pop rock. I call it Rona Rock because it’s catchy and ties into what is at the center of life right now — COVID19. But here’s what I would do — get Billie Eilish to team up with Guns & Roses to do a rebooted version of their cover of Paul McCartney’s Live And Let Die.

Here’s how you do it. You open with Axel singing the song then — plot twist — Billie Eilish belts out the chorus. It would be a symbolic changing of the guard, if you will. I pick Ms. Eilish to pull this off for a specific reason. She has a very strong, very rock voice.

Something about Miley Cyrus’ voice is just too light to ever be a true rock voice. I point out how out of place her attempts to sing Led Zepplin are. She’s a beautiful woman who has an excellent singing voice, but Ms. Cyrus is better cut out for more pop songs. Or she needs to stop screaming at the top of her lungs songs that don’t need to be — like Heart of Glass. (Ugh.)

I see Ms. Eilish as a secret weapon for the forces of rock. She’s young. Has cross-generational appeal and her voice is so strong that she could carry the weight of a song like Live And Let Die.

Annie Clark Needs To Team Up With Taylor Swift


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m a pretty big fan of St Vincent. And, yet, my mind grows irritated with her music for some reason. And with all this talk of a “New Sound” beginning to — maybe– develop, I realize what it is : Annie Clark needs her Paul McCartney.

See, this is what’s going on — St. Vincent is so busy producing weird art-rock music that she’s squandering her potential. She needs someone like Paul McCartney to force her to balance her need to write the next “Tomorrow Never Knows” with, say, her ability to produce something closer to “Revolution.”

The thing that draws me to Clark is her guitar ability. But the songs that are associated with those guitar solos are…just too fucking weird. If you could, like, get someone to create a female version of Guns & Roses with Annie playing the part of Slash, well, then, that would be pretty cool.

Ok, hear me out. Who’s the one person that could balance out Clark’s weirder tendencies? Taylor Fucking Swift. That paring would be perfect. Put Meg White on drums and maybe make Carrie Brownstein the group’s “George Harrison” and I think you would have the makings of a rock group for the ages.

You’d need some serious ego-management to make that particular dream line up a reality. But, alas, no one listens to me. At least my novel is going well at the moment.