Tag: Ron DeSantis

Of Course

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Now, let me be clear — I’m notorious for taking a little bit of information and running with it. But there is, at least, a scenario whereby Saturday Night Live uses the “hook” of how fucking cold it was in Iowa for the caucuses to have a sketch with Unfrozen Caveman Governor Ron DeSantis.

Makes sense to me, at least. I don’t quite know what I would do if something I predicted actually happened for once. I might faint from excitement and joy.

But I’m really, really grasping at straws on this one. I’m know to make shit up. I suppose only time will tell, huh.

I would get a woman cast member to play “Tiny-D” in caveman make up, given how short he is, relative to how tall he should be to run for POTUS.

Is Unfrozen Caveman Governor Ron DeSantis Going To Drop Out?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

As of right now, it seems as though Ron “I’m just waiting for bad to happen to Trump” DeSantis is in it to win it. Not that he will. It’s all very curious. He’s just not very good at retail politics.

But it will be interesting to see what happens next. I think, for the moment, he’s going to linger until he is defeated in South Carolina, then he will pull the plug. So, I suppose we have a few more weeks or months of him pretending he has a chance at winning.

My Pitch For An Unfrozen Caveman Governor Sketch

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

This is just me being silly. But, in general, I would replace the court room of the Phil Hartman Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer sketches with an Iowa / New Hampshire Town Hall.

Ron DeSantis

Then, the joke of the SNL sketch would be that Ron DeSantis’ actual policy agenda is so dumb and conservative that it’s what you might think of someone frozen during an Ice Age.

I, for one, think that’s hilarious.

Well, That’s Curious

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m obsessed with my Webstats. And today was curious because one specific blog post on this blog about Ron DeSantis got a huge amount of hits — like 10 or so. Given that, like, this blog on any given day gets about 20 or 30 hits a day that’s a big deal.

Given the subject matter, there are a few possibilities.

SNL
It’s at least possible that my link between Ron DeSantis and SNL’s Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer and this weekend they’re going to do a sketch about him that involves Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer.
He’s About To Drop Out
This could mean that his staff knows he’s going to drop out and they read the blog post about how much he sucks. Or something.

A DeSantis Presidency Would Mean The End Of American Democracy

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The Republican Party, on an existential basis, no longer believes in traditional American democracy. They’re fascists and, as such, the moment they gain the presidency again, that’s it, the end. It’s not like Republicans hide this cold hard, fact, either — they won’t shut up about how they think the United States is a “constitutional republic” and NOT a democracy.

So, the clock is ticking. It definitely seems as though America has two choices as the moment — either we peacefully side into autocracy under Ron DeSantis or things grow far, far more interesting on a historical basis if Trump happens to win a second term. With DeSantis, the general autocratic drift of American politics will happen in a rather blase manner.

If DeSantis can’t get around Trump for the Republican nomination, then Trump, unto himself, could cause a National Divorce and, as such, a Second American Civil War.

But we have to take seriously the DeSantis threat. Form follows function so, once we’re an autocracy there’s every reason to believe that DeSantis will consolidate power just like every other autocrat and pretty much be in power for the rest of his life.

Things may not change for the average American at first but once the process of becoming an autocratic state begins in force, the question becomes do we stop around Hungary or Turkey or do we continue down the path of autocracy towards something around Nazi Germany or Putin’s Russia? At the moment, I honestly can’t tell you one way or another. Though, I do fear that because of America’s original sin of race that we could endup settling around Nazi Germany and then things get REALLY DARK.

Of course, it doesn’t help that too many center-Left people want to debate how many pronouns can dance on the head of a pin instead of taking practical, real world steps to stop the rise of autocratic fascism in the United States.

I don’t have any ready answers for you. But I do fear that things could be pretty bonkers between now and spring 2025.

Ron DeSantis Has A Problem

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

From my conversations with my hyper partisan ultra conservative Traditionalists relatives, it definitely seems as though the Republican Party has a problem. And that problem is Donald J. Fucking Trump.

My Traditionalist relatives are ready to move on. They are quite open about what they want in a 2024 Republican candidate — Trump without Trump. They tell me they want to vote for Ron DeSantis “three times.” In other words, the ground is very ripe for DeSantis to be America’s first autocrat.

And, as an aside, it’s interesting how oblivious my Traditionalist relatives are to the sea change that the United States is about to experience. The usual ebb and flow of our politics will gride to a halt when we’re not longer a democracy — something my Traditionalist relatives don’t even believe America is in the first place.

The idea of the United States no longer being a democracy is something very abstract to my Traditionalist relatives — whom I love dearly. All they know is they fucking hate the “woke cancel culture mob” and the fucking hate the “gay agenda.” I mean, they’re all in with the anti-gay “drag queens teaching 3rd graders about anal sex” fears that seem so potent within Republican ranks these days.

It’s the first thing they turn to whenever there’s a discussion of such fanciful things as a “unity ticket” or me telling them all they have to do is be patient and they will get all their policy dreams enacted.

But back to Trump.

If we were a functioning democracy and not an anocracy, Trump would be a has been and we would all just be waiting for DeSantis to become president. But we’re not. Trump refuses to wander off into the political night and, as such, the issue is not who will be the 2024 Republican nominee, it’s who will Trump pick to be his veep?

I’m of the opinion that Trump has so lost his mind that he’s not going to pick DeSantis unless he absolutely has to. He’s probably going to pick some deranged, insane person like Mike Flynn or, if he’s feeling charitable, maybe Ivanka Trump.

Or, put another way, it’s probably going to be shocking.

And, what’s more, we haven’t even addressed the issue of what the reaction to Trump and Bannon stealing the 2024 election through an “administrative coup” will be within the center-Left. My Traditionalist relatives are pretty much ready to accept the secession of Blue States if it comes to that. Though, in all honesty, I suspect the moment Fox News demands blood for Blue States doing the very thing that Red States like Texas want to do, everything will change.

In other words, Trump is a political monster and there’s no ready endgame. I have no idea what is going to ultimately happen. But I do know on one end of the spectrum is civil war and on the other end is autocracy.

Cyber Ninjas, The Arizona ‘Audit,’ A Second American Civil War & My ‘Hysterical’ ‘Doom Shit’


Ender

As it stands, for a lot of MAGA New Right cocksuckers, the idea of a “civil war” is simply the worst possible thing they can think of. They talk about how liberals are “forcing” them to radicalize and to want a civil war, but all that’s going on is they’re snowflakes and a civil war is just the worst possible thing they can think of that might happen.

They’re politically pouting, in other words.

And, yet, as January 6th showed, there comes a point where overwrought rhetoric causes something to actually happen in the real world. In other words, things continue to be pretty frothy within the MAGA New Right. Even though the majority of establishment Republicans have moved on to Ron DeSantis, Trump continues to have an absolute lock on his personality death cult. They can’t wrap their minds around the very liberal democracy concept of if you don’t get enough votes, you don’t get to have power, so they suck their own cock thinking up ways that Trump “really” won.

Where things get dangerous is when things in the real world begin to have a momentum out of the control of the establishment that just wants to sit back enjoy that plutocrat tax cut and young hack MAGA judges and think about how they’re going to finally strangle American democracy and rule as a minority.

So, in a sense, Trump is now a lingering, festering political problem that Republicans would rather just use an ointment on. He just won’t go away. And if he runs again in 2024, he’s going to win the nomination either by co-opting DeSantis or destroying him.

If Trump can just get out of the way, America is going to peacefully transition into an “lite touch” autocracy that is at first is an autocracy because the disconnect between the will of the people and who actually runs the country will be so enormous that all this talk about “don’t boo, vote” will be looked back upon as quaint. Voting will be meaningless and Republicans will so rig the system that they always win, no matter what.

People will stop voting and we become an autocracy.

Of course, as I keep “hysterically” saying, there are two things to consider with my “doom shit.” One is, this process could be bungled — probably because Trump tries to be the one to finish the transition into autocracy — or form follows function like it always does and the fascists of the MAGA New Right will become…fascists. They’ll realize they now have absolutely no checks on their power and they’ll start to knock heads –specifically, probably mine.

(Thankfully, I have a passport again, but, lulz.)

Anyway, let’s pause for a moment to ruminate on how “hysterical” I’m being. The type of person who calls me “hysterical,” probably is a traditional conservative who is so worried about “woke corporations” that they simply want to nullify any political argument they don’t like. They can’t comphrend my “doom shit” happening in the United States, so, by definition, it can’t happen.

Lulz!

And, in a sense, they know they won’t have anything to worry about if a MAGA New Right autocracy is established — they always follow the rules — so it’s all an abstract. They have a job and kids and a mortgage to worry about. For me, however, since I won’t fucking shut up about what a fucking cocksuckers our new autocratic overlords are, I have some very concrete things I have to worry about.

And, in general, given what I keep seeing actually happening, people who claim my belief that we have the existential choice of autocracy or civil war ahead of us is “doom shit” are living a delusion. Soon enough, either we accept that Republicans have established white Christian minority rule, or we don’t. Either the transition into autocracy is peaceful and long-lasting, or it’s not.

I hate violence, but we definitely need to start thinking about what happens if the MAGA New Right either bungles what should be a peaceful transition into autocracy or they start to believe their own press about how great and wonderful a civil war would be. (Ugh.)

Anyway, every day I see evidence I’m not being “hysterical” and my “doom shit” is just reality. Now what.

Regeneron And Ron DeSantis As America’s Eventual Equivalent To Putin


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

In his never-ending desire to “own the libs” Unfrozen Caveman Autocrat Governor Ron DeSantis has figured out a way to square a political circle. Instead of doing simple, basic, — but politically loaded — things like having mask mandates or vaccine mandates, he’s turning to a COVID19 treatment called Regeneron. That apparently one of DeSantis’ donors is connected to Regeneron is even better from his point of view.

America’s Future Autocrat

Given that FOX News is giving DeSantis a political reach around these days, it definitely seems as though he’s probably going to be the next president of the United States. I say this because Republicans are going to nullify any result in 2024 that they don’t like and, lulz, fuck you lib.

This leaves us with the question of how much of an autocrat DeSantis will be. It seems he will start off being just another conservative Republican and then, gradually grow more autocratic to the point that he changes the Constitution so he never has to leave office.

Generations of Americans will only know DeSantis as president, just like generations of Russians only know Putin.

Lulz, nothing matters.

Modern Problems: The Paradox Of The MAGA New Right’s COVID19 Media Narrative


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

From what I’m able to glean, the MAGA New Right wants us to believe that COVID19 is just part of modern life now AND they want to attack the Biden Administration for “not doing as well” as the Trump Administration did handling the pandemic.

My reaction to the MAGA New Right’s views on COVID19.

As such, the MAGA New Right is absolutely against mask and vaccine mandates and changing people’s lives in any way to address the lingering COVID19 crisis — and yet also wants to scream bloody murder that Biden hasn’t solve it, which apparently Trump was on his way to doing but for the evil Deep State “stealing” the 2020 election from him.

Now, I have to note that for the time being, this working — and may ultimately work to the extent necessary to flip Congress for the MAGA New Right in 2022. So, in essence, this paradoxical media narrative will be a success.

And, yet, the MAGA New Right has a problem — there is a real risk that the metrics that matter most will start to hurt their political chances. If it becomes clear that something, anything has to be done to mitigate the COVID19 uptick currently happening in Red States, then there might be a frantic too-little, too-late struggle to reverse course in mid stream.

This will be even more the case if some variant pops out that blows past our existing vaccine regimen and throws us back to square one.

But as it stands, Republicans literally would rather have a lot of people die of COVID than miss a chance to “own the libs.” To that extent, the MAGA New Right is a literal personality death cult.

If people like Ron DeSantis have a come-to-Jesus moment about COVID19, it will be so sudden, so unexpected that we will all be left in shock. And, honestly, the only way that will happen is if they see some sort of political advantage — a way to “own the libs,” if you will — by doing so.

Why Unfrozen Caveman Governor Ron DeSantis Is Willfully Killing De Voters


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Ron DeSantis

I continue to see a lot of shock and puzzlement on the part of Twitter liberals as to the behavior of putative 2024 Republican presidential nominee, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. But to me, DeSantis’ behavior seems completely logical relative to his goal of being elected president. Here’s why:

Negative Polarization Is Now Absolute
I can’t stress enough how absolute negative polarization is now in the United States, at least from my practical experience. It’s so absolute that the base of the Republican Party would rather people die than accept that COVID19 is a national health crisis. So, in a sense, yes, the MAGA New Right is a personality death cult. The wild thing is that, on an individual basis, the average MAGA New Right person doesn’t see themselves as being racist or misogynistic or any of the things that collective the MAGA New Right obviously is.

2022 (Or 2024) Is A Long Ways Away Politically
DeSantis is calculating that given how popular being an autocrat to “own the libs” is with the base of the Republican Party that he can actively work to kill voters and by the time 2022 (or 2024) rolls around it will all be a lulz. The pandemic will be over and the only thing stopping him from slingshotting himself into the presidency will be the 300 pound sack of shit known as Donald Trump. Lulz!

Autocracy Is Popular
Even though most MAGA people don’t really think in terms of autocracy, they definitely support it. My fear of a white Christian ethno state based on “blood and soil” is their dream — they fully embrace the “cruelty is the point” of Trumplandia. Of course, what will happen is autocracy will arrive and they will be shocked when a family member is murdered in cold blood by ICE or they can’t say what they like freely in a bar. But by that point, it will be too late and they, at least will have “owned the libs” forever.

The National MAGA New Right Electorate
What DeSantis is doing is the political equivalent of finger banging the national MAGA New Right base. They love, love, LOVE all his “lib owning” and autocratic, thuggish behavior that puts him on the national stage. They want MAGA without Trump so everything is strictly a policy debate. If that’s the case, then they win because they can both sides everything or simply shrug and say fuck you, lib.