Tag: ROKon Magazine

A Story To Be Told

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m working on a six novel project that is greatly influenced by what happened to me in Seoul many moons ago. It’s not set in Asia, but I’m using a lot of my experiences from that period in my life to flesh out the universe I’ve come up with.

But, while I have the good / bad old days of ROKon Magazine on the brain at the moment, is there any argument for, say, New York Magazine or The New Yorker to do a history of what happened with the magazine?

Well, yes and no. Let’s list the “noes” first.

It was a long time ago
This is just not a timely subject anymore. It all happened so long ago — an everyone but me got closure — that it just doesn’t make any sense to do any sort of character study on what happened with the magazine. The whole thing would devolve into a very long therapy session with ME.

Who cares?
It was a long time ago. No one cares and it happened in Seoul.

How would you get anyone to talk?
You probably couldn’t get anyone to talk to you, even if you had the good name of a major publication like The New Yorker behind you.

The “Yeses.”

The story is crazy!
What happened with ROKon Magazine — and specifically between me and Annie Shapiro is totally bonkers. Insane. Hard to believe if you know the full story. It’s a real story for the history books of publishing.

Some very colorful characters
There are so many colorful characters that I’m using many of them (in a very Romanized manner) to popular six novels I’m working on at the moment.

Lots of twists and turns — even if the endgame is obvious
Even though it’s obvious that my version of ROKon Magazine was going to fucking fail, the over all arch of the story is very, very interesting. Lots of twists and turns.

Anyway, no one cares. I just needed to get that off my chest.

Are People Still Talking About Me In South Korea?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The idea that someone from one of the major English newspapers in South Korea searched for my name on LinkedIn is really beginning to worry me. I am well aware that there are many, many innocent explanations for this happening, but I know how big of a drunk, crazed asshole I was as an expat in Seoul and the more ominous scenarios write themselves — at least in my mind.

What I wonder is why now? What could possibly have changed recently that would make people think of me again? Or is my notorious legend so potent that people never really forgot me?

I love South Korea and Koreans and even hope to return at least once more before I shuffle of this mortal coil. But the idea that anyone would care about me all these years later is really unnerving. I’m very embarrassed by some of my drunken escapades in South Korea and I’m a dramatically different person. Again, at least in my own mind, I didn’t do anything THAT bad, but I was drunk and kind of nuts most of the time — especially in late 2006, early 2007. There are some stories to be told about what I was doing at that point in my life.

And, to be honest, there is a very interesting story to be told about what happened with me and Annie Shapiro when we were building up ROKon Magazine while I was also DJing at an expat bar in Sinchon called Nori. In fact, I spend way, way, way too much time dwelling on that story and how I could tell it literally.

That moment has passed, however. Though, I have to admit that I am drawing upon much of what I know about what happened between Shapiro and me while I was DJing at Nori bar as the basis for the six novel project I’m working on.

I’m so rattled about a newspaper reporter in Seoul searching my name on LinkedIn, I half feel like calling them up and asking, “Are you doing a story on me or something?”

Of course, if I wanted to put a positive spin on things, I suppose I might speculate that I managed to turn on of my student into a journalist and that’s why there is interest in me. Or something. Something not so dark and dire as I’m going to get roasted in a major Seoul newspaper for my bad behavior nearly 20 years ago.

Hopefully, all of this is a false alarm. Hopefully.

‘Dreaming Is Free’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m not getting any younger. And, in fact, something pretty dramatic will have to happen pretty soon for me not to simply continue to drift in oblivion until I shuffle off this mortal coil.

Me, when I was a man on fire on Seoul.

But stranger things have happened, as they say.

I could sell this novel I’m working on and it become a huge success so I finally have the cash I need to make some of my many dreams come true. Or, I could fall into some cash and finally have enough to buy the photographic equipment I need to start a career in fashion photography. Or, far, far, far, far, far less likely, I could win the lottery one day. (Talk about dreaming being free!)

Anyway, in a sense, it’s just sad that I’m 20 years too old to make my dreams come true. Because I know that if you plopped me in New York City or LA that I would become quite well known pretty quick. NYC would be a lot more difficult than LA because the metrics by which success are measured are so brutal. You can’t simply schmooze your way to success in NYC like you can in LA. You need actual success, a lot of money, good looks and, in the case of being a man, a huge cock. (They called him Mr. Big for a reason, don’t you know.)

My late partner in crime while in Seoul, Annie Shapiro and me back at the height of ROKon Magazine’s success.

But the thing that for a number of years has made me very unhappy is I learned a lot about the “meta” of running a publication when I did ROKon Magazine in Seoul. I know, just know, that given any sort of opportunity that I could change the world.

This type of talk is boring now, after all these days. If I think I’m so great and wonderful, why don’t I simply save up the money to go to NYC or LA and put my theory to the test.

That, of course, is what I should do.

The first issue of ROKon Magazine.

But I suppose there are a number of different reasons why I haven’t — to date — done this. One is, I would want to land in NYC on my own terms. So, trying to be a fashion photographer in NYC is something I think I could probably pull off — but I also would want the proper equipment to do it right. Add to this that I’m 20 years too old to start any of this and I’m something of an eccentric when it comes to what I’m willing to do for money and…well, there you go.

I suppose if you were being a dick about it, you could say that all my talk about pulling of another ROKon Magazine, only in NYC or LA says more about me continuing to grieve over what happened with the magazine than any statement on my ability.

I just know that I learned so much about the meta of running of media company while in Seoul that it’s a shame that I probably will never get to use it — ever. And if that happens, it’s going to be my own damn fault.

Whenever People From South Korea Look At This Blog, I Get Nervous

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Ugh. Whenever random hits from South Korea pop up in my Webstats I get nervous. I was a wild animal in South Korea and I did some things I regret. Nothing too bad, but bad enough to give me pause for thought when they come rushing into my mind as I try to get to sleep.

All of that was a long, long time ago. And I’ve changed. I really have. I’m not saying I’m not still larger-than-life and eccentric at times — I definitely am still all that — but I’m far more wise than I once was. And I don’t drink nearly as much as I used to and when I do drink, I don’t drink so much that I’m “pickled.”

As I’ve written before, I only even think about any of this because I worry that should I ever find any success that I’m going to have some unexpected ghosts from my past pop up. But as I like to say, you have to make decisions on what you do know, not on what you don’t know.

So, it’s definitely possible that I will be “canceled” as soon as I find any successful, but it’s also possible that…maybe I’m overthinking things? Most of my bad behavior in the past was nearly 20 years ago and was the result of drinking too much.

It’s like I’ve had a brain transplant — I’m a far better, far wiser person than I once was. I just hope I’m forgiven.

Of ROKon Magazine & Curious Hong Kong Webstats


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Ahhh, my Webstats. How very addictive you are. Nobody reads this blog. Maybe 100 people a day and, from what I can tell, I have a few stalkers who are completely obsessed with what I write…and everyone else. Given that at the moment, I’m a complete and total nobody, anyone who is obsessed with me must know me in some direct, personal capacity.

I’m not the easiest person to get along with — let me tell you — so I doubt my stalkers have a very high opinion of me. I simply assume their hate reading this blog because of this or that slight I do towards them at some point.

Anyway, the reason why I bring any of this up is the curious case of someone in Hong Kong looking at this site. I used to live in Asia, so it is within reason to believe that it’s just some bonkers expat from way back when curious as to what I’m doing these days.

Annie Shapiro and me during the ROKon Magazine era.

But that’s no fun. I’m a “delusional jerk with a good heart” as the late Annie Shapiro once said, so let’s be delusional and think of other possibilities. Whomever it was, was first interested in ROKon Magazine, the magazine I started with Annie way back when. Which leads me to believe it might — might — be Jennifer 8. Lee, who I did a personality profile of for the magazine. I think she’s got family from Hong Kong, so maybe she had some reason to look me up?

But it gets more curious — they came back again through my Instagram account, as if they were doing a general search of me. I am delusional, so there’s only one other person I can think of with a link to Hong Kong who might be that interested in me — Alexa Chung or one of her “people.” Ha. That would be hilarious.

And, yet, that’s really, really reaching.

Then, there’s a somewhat more ominous possibility — someone has been given a tip as to what a great story the rise and fall of ROKon Magazine is. The story of what happened to me and Annie with that fucking magazine is so great that huge chunks of a five novel thriller series is a direct interpolation of the events of that brief moment in late 2006 – early 2008 when some very dramatic, interesting things happened to both me and Annie in an explosion of Oscar -worthy depicted events.

I mean, Holy Shit.

But I long ago realized that if that story is ever going to be told, it won’t be told in a 1 to 1 way. It will be told, like it is now, as part of a far more obvious story. Anyway, lulz, nothing matters.

A Return To South Korea


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

On or about July 24, 2004, I arrived in South Korea for the first time. I was a down on my luck drunk American at the time. Little did I know the adventures that would await me.

It’s fast approaching 20 years since that fateful day, and I find myself wanting to return to South Korea (specifically Incheon, Seoul and Busan) one last time before I shuffle off this mortal coil.

While I think I can pull it off, the whole issue of when it might happen is still very much up in the air. I’d like to do it in 2024 as close to 20 years to the date as I could get, but that’s highly unlikely. More likely, I’ll be happy if I can accomplish this goal a few years on either side of the exact anniversary.

My favorite ROKon Magazine cover.

If I did do such a trip, it would be part of a Japan – ROK – Southeast Asia trip of about two weeks. Now, one issue I’m well aware of is there both a lot of love and a lot of hate for me floating around Asia, even to this day. For every person who would flip out seeing me for a good reason, there would likely be two or three who would do the same but out of anger.

I was a very interesting person in Asia.

Anyway, it’s all very up in the air. I just have a general desire to return one last time to my old stomping grounds in South Korea. I’ve changed a lot — a whole lot — and know that but for the mutual distaste between myself and little Korean kids, I would still be there.

Sometime in 2004.

But there is always the very small chance that I will sell these four novels I’m working on and will make enough money that way that going to Asia won’t be that big a deal anymore for me. That, of course, is at the moment just another instance of me being very, very, VERY delusional.

One man’s hope is another man’s delusion.

A Most Interesting Person


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

For some reason, I find myself thinking about the late Annie Shapiro a lot of late. I think it’s probably because I’m getting psyched up with a second creative track: that of a (fashion?) photographer.

Anyway, it was Annie who revolutionized how I saw myself. Before I met her, I was a drunk failed journalists. After I met her, I was a drunk creative person who realized I had a lot of untapped creative abilities.

The late Annie Shapiro / Photo by Shelt Garner

But there are some caveats to any romanticized depiction of Ms. Shapiro. She was very, very strange in her own way and she terrorized me on an emotional level. Yet, of course, in all honesty, I have to admit that I gave back as much as I got when ROKon Magazine came back without me.

And, yet, I also have to admit that Annie was able to pull of a hatrick when she got the magazine going again without me — in secret! I don’t know what to tell you. All I got is, things are beginning to fall into place on a creative level for me.

Do I miss Annie? That’s a very good question.

I think I definitely miss the lack of an opportunity for us to talk to each other every once in a while. But she was so mysterious and secretive that it’s dubious that even that would have happened if she was still alive.

Anyway. I need to stop wallowing in the past. Time to look forward.

A Brief History of The Late, Great ROKon Magazine In Covers


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Now that I’m beginning to get some sense of my creative future, I find myself thinking back at how I ended up in this situation. It all goes back to ROKon Magazine.

It’s embarrassing how long I dwelled on what went wrong a half-assed attempted at a magazine that only lasted a few months. But it was the one moment in my life — to date — when I was cool and people, like, actually fucking listened to me. Or, put another way, I told Annie Shapiro what we needed and people listened to her.

Anyway, the whole story is so romanticized in my mind and I’ve attempted to tell it in so many different ways, that, lulz, there’s not much more to say. But here are a few of the covers I’ve managed to save.

This was the first cover. We were all so naïve. I think my brief relationship with Annie lasted about the duration of production on this one — less than two weeks.

The above issue was a few months later — or maybe it was the second issue? It was the first issue where our vision for the magazine began to take shape, regardless. We were still very broke. But we were catching people’s attention. Again, no one cared at this point so things went well.

This was the first issue where there were obvious cracks in my relationship with Annie. I think this may have been the first issue when we were the only magazine for expats in Seoul. Everything that went wrong with ROKon Magazine was my fault because I was the one who started it. But it was fun, still at this point. I think this is the October issue when we decided to take a break so we could come out on the first of the month.

Below was one of the later issues. It’s a pretty good cover.

We Were Young Once, And Drunk


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I hope to return to Seoul before I drop dead. Everything changed when I went to Asia. Or, should I say, everything changed when I met the late Annie Shapiro. I have a very romanticized recollection of those years of my life. I mean, Annie was no saint and I was so crazy that they put me in a book about crazy expats. (That was fun, let me tell you.)

The good old days in Seoul.

In more than one way, the bolts popped off my sanity while I was in Asia. And I was so kneecapped on an emotional basis by what happened with ROKon Magazine that I pretty much was in neutral for a decade. But I can feel things beginning to change now.

Now that the novel series I’m working on is beginning to take shape and I have my potential “second track” of (fashion) photography, I’m beginning to get my emotional sea legs again. I think back to how I was a man on fire in Seoul and how I was “famous” and overexposed within the expat community for being everywhere and nowhere at once.

A lot — A LOT — could still go wrong. But the reason why photography, specifically is so appealing to me is it makes me the protagonist of my personal story again. Something has to change in my life for me to use the camera I want to buy successfully. I can’t just stay in neutral. I’m going to have to hit the pavement and see if I can crack some doors somewhere.

I remember how exciting it was in Seoul in late 2006 when Annie and I were changing the world with ROKon Magazine. I would do it all different now, but it wouldn’t be nearly as much fun.

I loved being a DJ in Seoul.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that fashion photography is, like being a rock DJ, a sweetspot in my personality. And it was in Asia that I realized I was not a journalist, but, rather a creative person. In a way, being a DJ and fashion photographer are same same but different in my mind. I’m using a similar part of my mind to tell stories, if you will.

But, as I keep saying, I’m about 20 years too old to start a career in (fashion) photography — or any creative career for that matter. They say “age ain’t nuthing but a number,” but “they” lie. All I can say is I have a native, organic talent with it comes to a few things and photography is one of them.

Getting into photography, if nothing else, elevates my serotonin levels.

‘The Company’ & My Wild Days In Seoul



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

This is an instance of me either being extremely delusional (which is very possible) or sensing something that is true. Way back when, when I was living in Seoul, I was a man on fire. I was EXTREMELY CONSPICUOUS. So much so, that it’s probably reasonably likely that…uhhh…some spooks…in Seoul probably at least were aware of me.

I say this only because given where it is, it seems reasonable to assume that Seoul is crawling with spooks. Like a whole lot. And when I was there, there was a huge fucking military base in the middle of the city. And I was frequenting places like Haebangchon that probably had some military intelligence people living there. (At least in my fevered imagination about a decade later.)

Anyway, the only reason I bring his somewhat (ok, maybe a lot) bonkers idea up is I keep getting the occasional ping in my Webstats from people looking at this Website from Seoul. It makes no sense. None. I haven’t been in Seoul for about a decade now and, so, what? Why? I have been talking to the FBI for the novel and I even went so far as to mention “The Company” to the FBI PR guy.

I dunno. Just seems logical that some long-term spooky people in Seoul might have gotten wind of what I’m up to and thought they would take a look at my Website to see what was up.

I don’t think you can fully appreciate how insanely conspicuous I was in Seoul at my “height.” I was so balls out nuts someone even put me in a book about crazy expats.

All I can say is, I’m a changed man. I’ve learned humility.