Tag: Orange Man IS Bad

Contemplating A Secession Crisis In 2021


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

As always, America’s fate may rest with the actions of a ding-dong. I say this because there is a down low political crisis brewing in Arizona. If Republicans finally manage to “prove” that Trump “won” the state and then other states that Biden won that have deranged Republican legislatures follow suit, there may come a point when we have a severe political crisis on our hands.

And it would happen a lot quicker than you think.

All that would have to happen is just enough states flip from Biden to Trump through the nefarious machinations of Republicans to “prove” that Trump “really did win” and we might get that 2021 civil war way too many people seem interested in.

It’s easy to imagine Trump getting really excited and at the news that he “won” and crowing at every opportunity. (Now, over the years, I’ve come up with many, many, many over-the-top dystopian Trump scenarios and he’s proven himself to be too stupid and lazy to actually do any of them. So this could be another example of this. But hear me out.) This causes the small population lily white states of the Mountain area to call snap state conventions to secede from the Union because, well, lulz, Trump “won” YOLO.

I don’t really think this will happen, but there is a greater-than-zero-chance that it just might…in 2021.

And, yet, if you’re a fucking MAGA cucksucker who wants to murder liberals in cold blood as part of a Second American Civil War…you aren’t really thinking things through. Yes, you can probably get six or so states with very small — and white — populations to “leave” the Union…but what are you going to do about the South, you morons.

You’re so wrapped up in the Glorious Cause of “making America Great again” by having a ding-dong president for life, that you are completely missing the issue of race. Race and a Southern secession crisis is not something you just wave your Miller Lite at and mumble something about how you’re figure that out when you get to it. The moment MAGA legislatures in the South attempt to leave the Union so they can suck Donald Trump’s political cock, you got yourself a race war.

Race relations in the United States are pretty shitty as it is. Throw in MAGA Nazis wanting to put African Americans under their jackboot in the South and…oh boy. That is not going to go well.

But given how idiotic MAGA people are on this subject — they really, really want a fucking civil war — I would suggest there are a few milestones to look for in the coming days. If these things begin to happen, then, yes, you can spooge in your AR-15 then clean it off and start thinking how you can murder people like me in cold blood because of cancel culture.

  1. Trump “wins” because Biden’s wins in a number of states are overturned by MAGA legislatures.
  2. Trump goes nuts and runs around saying he won and is actually still president. He won’t shut up about it and the fucking cocksucker MAGA people start to listen
  3. A number of MAGA Nazi state legislatures call secessionist conventions to leave the Union because, lulz, Trump is “really” president.
  4. The secession crisis smacks into the South and African Americans begin to freak the fuck out and something akin to a race war erupts.
  5. Average people begin to vote with their feet, with Red people in Blue states and Blue people in Red states fleeing their states because they fear for their lives simply because of a difference in political views with people around them in their neighborhoods.
  6. The two sides differences harden because of this political consolidation and the U.S. Military even begins to have problems with people leaving their ranks to side with the secessionists.
  7. Trump forms some sort of “shadow government” and calls up troops from the states that have “left” the Union.
  8. All hells breaks loose. There’s a civil war. A lot of people die. But at least Mary Sue won’t have to worry about being canceled after she yelled at a African American clerk for getting her order wrong.

    Ugh.

The Stench Of Treason Is All Over #BenedictDonald



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It’s wild how so many really smart people — the Blue Check Liberals — stare straight at the answer as to why Trump acts the way he does and can’t come up with an explanation.

Trump is a traitor.

Now, let me qualify that statement. He’s probably not a LITERAL traitor in the legal definition, but fuck if he isn’t one in the political sense. The thing about Trump is you can never figure out if he’s a patsy or an actual active Russian agent.

I think, maybe, it’s a muddled mixture of both. He’s so stupid and lacks such self-awareness that he probably is simply a useful fool for the Russians, and, yet, he turns around and pulls 1/3 of our troops out of German by September and you wonder if he’s just a regular old agent.

You see, I think in the end, Trump has half a dozen (maybe more) ways he’s going to use to steal the 2020 election. But his ultimate failsafe is pretty obvious — there’s reason why he’s pulling those troops out of German — it’s a direct quid pro quo for the Russians hacking directly into our election systems.

The question, of course, is will we even figure it out?

I could see the period of time between Election Night and Jan 20th being a period of astonishing instability in the United States. There will be lawsuits. There will be rolling political violence. There will be Republican ratfucking and treason.

And, in the end, Trump will win.

All he has to do is get into his second term so his new second term Veep (who I think may be Gen. Mike Flynn) can become president and be even more treasonous.

Lulz, nothing matters.

Trump Endgame Enigma: ‘Jhi-na Syndrome’



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I love scenarios. I love weighing different factors, asking “what if” and wondering how a number of conditions would work. Usually my scenarios are the absolute worst-case.

So, let’s play the “What if Trump finally lost his mind” scenario.

Here’s the thing: first, how would we know?

Trump is so conspicuous in his instability, that for him to have finally have cracked, something REALLY Big would have have to happen. I am still of the opinion that Trump is more likely to implode than explode and we’ll simply not see him very much in his inevitable ill-gotten second term. He’ll be catatonic somewhere, babbling about the Deep State.

But, let’s say between now and, say, mid-August, a series of things push Trump over the edge. A combination of a pandemic, a depression, BountyGate and maybe even his taxes being released, becomes such a weigh on his mind that he snaps. I think such a decompensation would come a logic trap — he would absolutely want to win and yet he would absolute know he wasn’t going to win. (Though he might never get that bad since it’s obvious the Russians are going to hack into our election systems in exchange for Trump removing 1/3 of our fighting force out of Germany before September.)

Anyway, let’s just say Trump snaps.

I think a number of things would happen at the same time. A lot of things that have been rolling around his mind would pop out. He might whip is cock out. He might tweet out a dick pic. He might began to tweet out out the N-word to any African American who crosses him. He might simple begin to babble vulgarities at every opportunity. Or even stranger things might happen, like he dives head first into Tik-Tok and starts attempting some of the dances there. Or maybe he really, REALLY makes it clear he wants certain people “reminded of the power of the 2nd Amendment.” He keeps doing this now and no one takes him seriously. What if he won’t shut up about it in a rather manic fashion for days or weeks on end?

The next issue is what the reaction would be.

Given how close we are to the election, initially, not a lot would happen different. Republicans would simply ignore the behavior, hoping it will go away. It would take a few days of some seriously disturbing behavior before the pressure would begin to build for something, anything to happen.

This is where things get murky. I can’t figure out how we would ever get rid of Trump, even if he was, say, going out of his way to start a war with the DPRK in a desperate bid to “Wag the Dog.” I might go so far as to say this crisis might go on and on and on and on for months until the election rolls around and, surprise! Trump weirdly wins anyway.

Then we spend three months on edge we try to figure out how we’re going to get Electors to vote for Joe Biden because it’s absolutely clear that because of a quid pro quo with Russia, Trump has illegally won re-election because of hacking on the part of Putin.

I guess the point is — I don’t know how we would ever actually get rid of Trump, even if he fucking totally lost his fucking mind and put the lives of 300 million Americans at risk. We’re stuck with him, no matter what.

An Observation On Trump Scandals



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Trump has an absolute floor of support of about 35% of the electorate. He’s not quite down to it, yet, but he seems to be working his way towards it. That core support of people barely pay any attention to traditional news sources and, in fact, get most of their news directly from Trump’s twitter feed. They’re a bunch of racist, ignorant morons who are willfully destroying the country by supporting Trump through thick and thin.

This leaves people like me extremely frustrated because Trump is pretty obviously a Russian stooge at best and a Russian agent at worst. He has no traditional political accountability and as long as he has that core 35%, never will.

I will note, however, that occasionally he gets himself into trouble that lingers. He eventually peters out like all his scandals, but sometimes he screws up in such a massive way that while he still has that 35% of racist, authoritarian loving assholes, at least those people are made to sweat for a little while.

This issue with “BountyGate” is a prime example of what I’m talking about. While I know that barring Trump, himself, self-owning even more that it will eventually get lost in lead up to the 2020 Election, I find myself thinking about it all the time these days. I’m REALLY MAD about this thing and I can’t stop thinking about how bad either option is for Trump.

Either he’s criminally incompetent and his job or he’s a traitor. He’s going to go with criminally incompetent and weasel his way out of yet another jam, then get the Russians to steal the election for him (or he’s going to steal it himself by going after Electors) and he’ll be impeached AGAIN at some point in his second term, probably either 1 1/2 or 3 1/2 years into his second term. (I’m thinking it’s most likely to happen the same year as an election for various reasons.)

By that point, of course, Ivanka Trump, Tom Cotton or Mike Flynn will be his second term VP and we’ll be nothing more than Russian style “managed democracy.” (Ivanka would be used as a figure head for her veep Tom Cotton or Mike Flynn should she become president. It’s rat fucking like that that authoritarians love, love, love to do.)

Again, let me be clear — the fate of the Republic hinges not on Biden, or Pelosi, or voters. It hinges on the mental state of one Donald J. Trump. If he fucking loses his mind in The Night Of Camp David style meltdown between now and,say, August, then there’s a chance that we’ll at least punt the end of the Republic down the road one more election cycle.

Otherwise, lulz!

Trump’s Bonkerness Be Not Proud



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The Mad King continues to be mad and we’re not going to do anything about it. The question is, of course, if we do reach a crisis with Trump’s mental state, will we even recognize it? I don’t think we will — I think Trump’s insanity and criminality will fuse in such a way that he’s going to literally destroy the entire Republic because, well, lulz, nothing matters.

Our future?

If if the things people like me have long feared happen — like Trump whips out his cock and starts masturbating, or starts to rant about African Americans using a gratuitous amount of the N-word…nothing will happen.

Nothing
Will
Happen

Nothing.

We’re so close to the election that Trump could go way, way, WAY out of his way to start a war with the DPRK and I just don’t see there being any consequences. Maggie Haberman would coo that it was all part of Trump’s political genius. Trump could explode, not implode, mentally and we’re all just going to have to wait for Jan. 20th, 2021.

But wait, there’s more.

There’s a real chance that if Trump’s insanity and criminality merge, that his enablers will be cool with him brazenly bribing electors. Or doxing them on Twitter. Or siccing MAGA on them in the dead of night. Trump could, at last, murder someone in cold blood on FOX News and lulz, nothing matters.

His enablers are that far up Trump’s ass at this point.

And, really, in the end, if Trump’s insanity finally reaches a point of crisis, it’s not going to happen in a way that helps either side. I mean, history didn’t pick the greatest time to let leash a pandemic, now did it? Last year would have been FAR BETTER for everyone involved.

Anyway. Now what.