Tag: Olivia Munn

My Heart Breaks For Anna Marie Tendler


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Oh boy. Talk about shots fired. While I’ve made my thoughts clear that I’m Team Oulaney, I’m not a heartless monster — Anna Marie Tendler’s Instagram account is tearing me up.

I don’t know what to make of it all. A divorce is always heartbreaking and messy and this one is no different. It’s one of those things where you could pick either side and have a very valid argument, which is what makes the whole thing so rough.

But I have to give Ms. Tendler credit — she’s an amazing artist. The above photo explains all we need to know about her break up from her point of view. It’s just devastating.

So, I totally validate her grief on this issue. And I hope nothing I’ve written seems to indicate I think her ex and his new baby mamma are in the clear, they’re not. I’m more annoyed with people being way too invested in this whole messy, messy situation than the specifics of what happened.

There’s enough hurt to go around, if you will.

Anyway. In the end, I think most of the “parasocial” investment that you see on Tik-Tok comes from younger women in Brooklyn who saw John Mulaney as aspirational — he was the type of guy they wanted. When it turned out he did not fit the romantic narrative they had in their heads…they were heart broken.

And I’m not picking on them for that, either. Just describing what I think may have happened. In fact, the level of misogyny I’ve seen thrown at Olivia Munn for this particular situation is really aggravating.

I have not seen any indication that she actively broke up Mulaney’s marriage. They were already on the rocks — apparently — and Munn just took advantage of what was going on.

Anyway. What do I know.

Woke ‘Oulaney’ Discourse Is The Worst Discourse


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

When it comes to often absurd discourse on the John Mulaney and Olivia Munn relationship, I’m firmly on team Oulaney. The core of the very dumb hot takes on this particular messy situation is apparently twofold, if what I’m seeing on Tik-Tok is accurate.

Leave Oulaney Alone!

One is, a lot of women who bought into Mulvaney’s Tiger Beat persona feel betrayed and use the proxy of his wife to express their outrage. They were invested in Mulvaney as a “good boy” that they felt they could bring home to mom. He didn’t want kids, sure, but he and his wife had their dog Petunia and that was good enough for them.

Meanwhile, the other thing that makes the parasocial people on Tik-Tok angry is, well, Oliva Munn. They don’t like that she wrote a book that was, well, the type of book you could imagine Olivia Munn writing. I remember her from The Man Show and she wasn’t, exactly, uhhhh….woke? The thing that made her a star, in fact, you could say started her whole career, was the episode of The Man Show where she struggled to eat a hotdog tied to a string above her head. (I think that’s what was going on.)

She’s kind of the type of woman that is “just one of the guys” but also is probably banging the best looking Alpha Male in that group.

And here is the point where I kind of hit a brick wall in my response to all of this. Because of how touchy woke people on Tik-Tok are, it’s so problomatic to comment on the surreal discourse about Team Oulaney that I honestly don’t know what to say.

I definitely validate the woke discourse. But I also think if those two crazy kids are happy, who are we to judge? Munn’s thing is being hypersexual and outrageous in a heteronormative fashion. That’s her thing. And that “thing” apparently does a number on the minds of some Tik-Tok users who think Munn is some sort of evil homewrecker who “stole” their Tiger Beat idol from his wife.

I find that argument dubious. Yes, she was probably more aggressive towards Mulaney than maybe they would like, but he was going through some things with his wife and she really, really dug him. That, as far as I’m concerned, is enough.

But I definitely think we can learn a lot about the excess of “woke” culture by mulling the arguments of people angry at Oulaney on Tik-Tok. It’s all very interesting….and a tad surreal.

Parasocial Cat People: Of The John Mulaney & Olivia Munn Discourse


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Not since the “Cat Person” discourse have we seen everyone have a hot take on a pop news event. It’s just about the right time of year for it, so here we are. First, let me say I wish the couple the best and I expect them to have a very hot, very funny child.

The way things are going, there should be a “SNL Babies” cartoon on the show about the hilarious hijinks of SNL cast members high-profile babies. Rug Rats meets Ambiguously Gay Duo, if you will.

But back to today’s baby daddy discourse.

Baby Daddy and his girl.

From what I’ve read, Olivia Munn is not some sort of crazed stalker woman who got pregnant to keep Mulvaney locked into her life for 18 years. Something about that particular Barstool Sports hot take is kind of…uh…racist? Seems to me, Munn sort of had love at first sight and when the opportunity came, it happend. Mulvaney seems very happy and so what’s the problem? Munn dates A-list Hollywood men and Mulvaney is, maybe, a solid B-. So it seems like a win-win for everyone.

A guy she really digs is now her baby daddy and Mulvaney has a preemo ladyfriend in his life for the foreseeable future. They’re both really funny and everyone’s happy so…what’s the big deal? And in passing, I would note that Mulvaney’s interview on Late Night was dark, funny and cathartic. Made for great TV, if nothing else.

Some of the intensity of this discourse, of course, comes from how a lot of people have become invested in Mulvaney’s public persona. “Parasocial” is a term I’ve seen a lot for this particular situation. I can’t think of a single living celebrity I have a parasocial relationship with. I’m the main character in my story, or at least try to be, for better or worse.

Though, to be fair, as I’ve grown older, I have come to believe that the reason why parasocial relationships exists with some celebrities is it’s kind of how our reality is constructed. It’s no different than the Greeks looking up the stars and thinking up stories about the goings-on on Mount Olympus. All those stories likely said more about real life sexual shenanigan than what was going on in the heavens.

But I will again note that all this Mulvaney drama happened just after he swooped in to give SNL bad boy Pete Davidson some avuncular guidance. It seems as though maybe instead looking into the abyss of Davidson’s life and seeing it as a warning, Mulvaney said, “I’d like to try that out!”

I find myself liking Munn more because of all of this. She seems like a lot of fun. It’s a great story to tell, in the sense that Mulvaney gives nerds like me hope that one day they can snag a beautiful, funny woman who one got nailed by Christ Pine!

I guess this was the fun little story I was looking forward to this year. Now back to my hysterical “doom shit” about the prospect of a civil war in January 2025.

I’m On ‘Team Oulaney:’ All *My* Heroes Are *Dead*


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

What the fuck happened between Pete Davidson and John Mulaney? Is it possible that there was some sort of drug Freaky-Friday curse put on Mulvaney when he decided to slow Davidson down? It definitely seem as though it’s at least possible that Davidson didn’t exactly have the greatest influence on “square” Mulvaney.

The happy couple.

I say this in the context of how some people on Twitter are freaking out about Mulvaney being…human? I don’t do drugs, but I do know what it’s like to be “pickled” from drinking too much. It’s not a fun experience. It’s like being the funniest guy in the room all the time — to yourself. I don’t know about you, but all my heroes — celebrity or otherwise — are dead. I typically don’t worship someone still alive. You do you, Mulvaney.

Anyway, SNL has become a regular celebrity romance mash pit of late. It boggles my mind the number of high-profile celebrity couples have been flung off from the show. It definitely makes you think about not-so-downlow power that Lorne Michaels has within the showbiz community.

It’s just a TV show, people.

I wish Mulvaney all the best, however in his new role as celebrity baby daddy. Olivia Munn is a smoking hot babe. (Who, incidentally, is among several Asian American Hollywood stars who would be great to play in a Hollywood adaptation one of protagonists of one of the four novels I’m currently developing and writing simultaneously.)

John Mulvaney, Olivia Munn & SNL As Celebrity Dating Service


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The news that John Mulaney is Oliva Munn’s new baby daddy has got me thinking about how old this whole imbroglio has me feeling. Though, given Munn is 41, I think it’s safe to say what happened was she wanted a baby and she “accidently on purpose” get pregnant while she still could. (You go, girl.)

Anyway. I feel old because when I was growing up, SNL was just a TV show. Yes, I remember in the late 70s staying up way, way, way past my bedtime to watch the original Not Ready For Primetime Players, but otherwise, this business of Lorne Michaels becoming a celebrity matchmaker leaves me scratching my head.

What the what?

What about my old cultural friend would lead it to be some sort of celebrity dating service? All I can think of is a LOT of celebrities like having a direct link to the show given how culturally important it is now and how pretty much every celebrity alive passes through its doors at some point in their career.

And, for some reason, SNL’s behind the scenes office politics is legitimately interesting. I have no idea why, but I think some of it has to do with it’s interesting to hear the wild behavior of the show’s larger-than-life cast members.

Though, in passing, it’s so interesting that Great Britain doesn’t have an SNL-like show. Or, put another way, there’s no live show in the UK that is so good that it has become a cultural touchstone for global English speakers.