In general, my heroine looks like combination of Olivia Munn and Nicole Scherzinger, but younger. While those two women are gorgeous, for structural reasons my heroine is in her early 30s. I suppose Munn could “play younger” or be de-aged a little bit. (This is all delusional at this point because I haven’t finished the novel yet, much less gotten to the point where I can seriously think about any sort of movie adaptation.)
But I like to daydream, so, lulz.
Here’s a gratuitous picture of Olivia Munn.
So if you take Olivia Munn and combine her with Nicole Scherzinger…
And make this combined woman younger, you get…
…Corrie Yee.
Anyway. I’m just letting off some steam at the moment before I turn my attention to trying to lock down the first three chapters of the third draft of the novel.
Hollywood actresses are a curious bunch. While there’s no easy equation that explains all of their psychology, in general — especially as they get older — such actresses love to run around emotionally and psychologically naked using their roles.
You do you, baby.
This causes “good girls” like Natalie Portman to play a stripper in Closer. This leads some actresses who are probably bi-sexual to play many, many lesbian roles where they get to pretend to fuck another woman under the guise of “acting!”
In short, a lot of Hollywood actresses are freaks — in a good way. More power to them.
My heroine looks a lot like a younger version of Nicole Scherzinger.
Anyway, I only bring this up because my novel has a number of character in it that I could see actresses loving. My heroine is a really complex woman who would allow them to bounce back and forth between being a professional journalists / publisher and being the owner of a strip club / occasional stripper.
Have I got a role for you!
Meanwhile, I have the “comic relief” character who is wide open sexually and keeps causing trouble for the more “serious” characters by how unwilling she is to abide by the traditional gender power dynamic.
But I am really getting ahead of myself. Way, way ahead of myself. I have to finish the fucking novel first. I’m really, really pleased with how things are going, but I still have to stop fucking DRIFTING towards my goal and actually buckle down and get some work done sooner rather than later.
After way too long, I think that it is at last possible that I may — MAY — have figured out the basics of the beginning the third draft of the novel. If that is so, then things are on the cusp of going VERY FAST.
My heroine, in my mind, looks like a young Nicole Scherzinger. The reason is, I have finally — finally — figured out the relationships between characters as the story opens. I also have realized some issues about how to really drive home that our heroine is a woman who inhabits two very, very different worlds.
I sometimes worry that I may have an “Annie Hall” problem in that the non-murder mystery elements of this story may become so good as to overpower the murder mystery parts. And, yet, I don’t *think* that will be a problem because I’m just screwing around with the first act and the rest of the novel remains the same — at least at this point.
But I’m getting kind of excited. I think I’m on track — barring any number of known unknowns — to wrap this third draft up no later than, maybe April 1st? Maybe? I hope that’s not being delusional.
While it feels like I keep spinning my wheels with this third draft of the novel, something really intriguing is beginning to take shape. I *think* I may have come up with an interesting way to cause a lot of drama — my heroine has two men in her life.
I imagine my heroine looking like a younger version of Nicole Scherzinger.
Each one represents a different thing in her mind and heart. One represents the past, while the other represents the future. One represents the stripping part of her life, while the other represents the journalistic part of her life.
Or something. Something like that. It’s not a perfect fit, but just thinking in those terms is making my insight into the character a lot easier.
I’ve also of late been doing a lot of “outside the box” thinking about which POVs I use, which should come handy later on. I’m really giving people a sense of character when it comes to the unlikely “investigative team” by heroine ultimately assembles to solve the mystery she’s confronted with.
The key thing is I’m kind of in put-up-or-shut-up mode at the moment. I’m not getting any younger — Stieg Larsson dropped dead at my age — and I really, really need to push myself harder. I have to get into the second act as quickly as possible while still maintaining high quality copy.
And that doesn’t even begin to address how I want to dip into screenwriting now as well. But, lulz, I’m being delusional like always, I guess.
One of the rules of thumb about writing a novel is one should avoid pontificating on the nature of any supposed Hollywood adaptation of your novel when you’re still struggling to get the damn thing done. But, lulz, I never do what I’m supposed to do, so here goes.
The key thing about this novel is, given both marketing and human nature, the thing everyone will hone in on is my heroine being both being involved in sex work and owning an alternative weekly. That is the thing that everyone will run around yelling and debating if this novel ever is sold and has even a modicum of success.
If I was a transgendered, undocumented twentysomething woman then, yes, of course, any qualms the “woke cancel culture mob” had about such a novel would evaporate. But here I am, a 50-year-old CIS white male writing something that in the eyes of some, I have no business writing about. Some people’s minds will shut down the moment they hear “stripper” and “written by a CIS white male.”
But, just for shits and giggles, let’s assume I somehow manage to get past that obstacle. Given what I know of Hollywood actresses, plenty of them would get off on playing such an interesting character, especially one in which they get a few scenes where they work the pole. And I have done my best not to make the whole stripper angle not seem to gratuitous.
It’s done in a rather matter-of-fact way. I like this potentially controversial element of the story because there’s all this conflict involved as the two sides of my heroine’s life occasionally smash into each other in unexpected an interesting ways.
In my mind, my heroine looks like a younger version of Olivia Munn. In fact, I would say Ms. Munn would be perfect to play the heroine, but for her being about a decade too old. Another woman who I have rolling around in my mind as I write my heroine is Nicole Scherzinger. But, again, she’s too old. But Ms. Scherzinger’s phenotype is definitely pretty much exactly what I have in mind as what my heroine looks like.
I’ve lost this actress’ name, but the below picture is a close approximation of my heroine’s appearance.
About what I imagine my heroine looks like as I write her.
Anyway, all of this is mental masturbation. I still have a long ways to go before I get anywhere near seeing the waking dreams of my novel on the big screen. But the story is really, really interesting and unexpected. The story isn’t nearly as dark as Stieg Larsson’s original Millennium series. That kind of shit just isn’t my scene.
But I’ve made the overall story interesting enough that I think its possible that by the time the development and writing process is over, I’ll be within shouting distance of getting an agent and, in turn a book deal. Of course, by the time all that happens I’ll be so fucking old that, well, ugh.
I’m definitely taking a risk with this new direction for my heroine. She’s a far more interesting and complex character, but because I’m doing all of this in a vacuum — I just don’t know.
I don’t know what the reaction will be. The idea of my heroine having a very Barry-like sharp dichotomy to her life is, on its face, really interesting and provocative. And, yet, the case could be made that, by definition, a smelly CIS white male creating such a character is exploitive in such a way as to give female readers “the ick.”
In my defense, the whole point of this new direct for the character is to keep people distracted while I build up to something actually happening. The first roughly 30 scenes are just an effort to lay out the groundwork for what is about to happen to these characters.
My hope is that by the time the Inciting Incident rolls around, the audience — especially women — will be invested enough in the story that they will care enough to finish the novel. That’s the hope. That’s the goal.
I imagine my heroine looks like a younger version of Nicole Scherzinger.
But I *am* a smell CIS white male — and a drunk loser middle aged one at that. So, the anger over having my heroine own a strip club pretty much writes itself.
And, yet, I’ve really been struggling for a way to make my heroine really, really interesting and unique and this seems to be as about as good as I’m going to get, all things considered. And, I think, if I am very careful and self-conscious about the dangers involved that I might — just might — manage to pull this particular situation off.
Of course, I’m not getting any younger. It definitely seems that even if I stick the landing that I’m going to be in my mid-50s before I get anywhere near having this novel on bookshelves. And that doesn’t even begin to address the rise of AI which may make all forms of human-produced creativity quite moot.
But, I create because I have to, not because I want to.
Only because of the latest Mission: Impossible movie have I come to realize what a babe Pom Klementieff is. I only knew her from the Guardians of the Galaxy movies but without all the green alien makeup — holy shit is she a babe.
Pom Klementieff
In fact, I THINK she’s probably about the right age to play the heroine of my first novel if, somehow, magically, it should one day be popular enough to be adapted into a movie. But I’m being extremely delusional at this point to even suggest such a thing.
And, yet Ms. Klementieff is kinda sort the right phenotype play the character. Of course, in reality in my mind my heroine is a younger version of Nicole Scherzinger. But, lulz. It’s not like anyone is ever going to care one way or another about it.
Nicole Scherzinger
I’m delusional enough, of course, think that’s possible.
Things continue to move at a pretty fast clip at the moment with this novel. It may take me a few more days than I’d prefer, but no later than by the end of the week — I hope — I will be at the midpoint of the novel. Then I can start to work on the second half of the novel with an eye to how I’m going to edit the whole thing a few times before the Beta Reader process begins.
The heroine of the first novel in this projected six novel project in my mind kind of sorta looks like a younger version of Olivia Munn combined with a younger version of Nicole Scherzinger.
All I can say is, whomever is playing me in the simulation has gotten better. Or maybe I have a new user because things are really flowing with this novel. I feel a sense of urgency and focus that I have not felt before. I definitely feel more inclined to “shut up and write” than I have in the past.
The only reason why I keep writing and talking so much about this novel at this point is I’m 100% extroverted and I can’t help myself. Maybe when I make it big I will finally get the self-control to stop talking and writing about writing so much.
Anyway, yesterday, Saturday, I was feeling very restless so I went to a stripclub. It was very cathartic and even though it was VERY EXPENSIVE relative to how much money I have on hand for the month, it was totally worth it. And, really, that’s what makes going to a stripclub so appealing — I never feel cheated, even by the end of the visit I barely have enough money left to eat.
But one thing that happened has left me uneasy. It’s somewhat murky on an ethical basis and that makes it even more troublesome. I was talking to a very attractive young woman when I, in my infinite wisdom — told her she was my type — a “high yeller,” also known as a “rebone.”
Yikes, am I dumb when drunk sometimes.
The thing is, I feel queasy that I said these words, and, yet, I don’t honestly know if they’re all that offensive or not. I think it all depends on the context. Yes, I think I was a drunk idiot for using these terms, but in real terms, in the South at least, they’re usually seen as a dumb, somewhat comical method of describing an African American with light brown skin.
That doesn’t make me feel any better, though. I could totally get if the young woman had been offended. I just shouldn’t have said those words. I have to take the L on this one, I’m afraid.
Anyway, this reminds me of how over the course of six projected novels in this project I’ve managed to come up with two heroines who are “brown.” I have a hunch why this is the case, but, lulz, sometimes you just have to accept what you have to work with and move on. If anything, my dumb screw up with the stripper has given me pause for thought going forward whenever I’m asked how to describe my “brown” heroines.
I could totally see some well-meaning smug Twitter liberal freaking the fuck out if I slipped up and used either one of those terms to describe my “brown” heroines.
But, as I said, things are really moving fast at this point. I don’t know how much of this is I just turned 50 and I’m feeling some pressure to put up or shut up and how much of this comes from I just know the story so well that things are flowing a lot better.
I’ve been a Nicole Scherzinger fan since the start. She’s a real babe and if her TikToks are any indication, she’s only getting hotter with age. Now, before I continue, please let me say this is meant to be a very breezy post written off the top of my head.
Anyway, Ms. Scherzinger has the looks, the voice and the moves. And, yet, her solo music career hasn’t accounted to much and now her main claim to fame is often seen on British TV for some reason.
It makes you wonder how this happened. Is it because she can’t act? Is it because she doesn’t really fit any particular cultural expectations in race obsessed America? It’s all very curious.
Things like this makes one wonder about the mysterious world of showbiz. Why do some people excel, while others don’t? Why has Tom Cruise had a 40 year career and Ms. Scherzinger has settled into a middle tear of showbiz fame despite having several of the core ingredients necessary for success.
Anyway, I definitely am a fan of Ms. Scherzinger’s and wish she might find the success she otherwise might have.
I’m extremely bored and am avoiding working on a novel, so pardon me while I ramble idly about Nicole Scherzinger. I really like Ms. Scherzinger. She’s drop dead gorgeous and has a great voice. But oddly enough she hasn’t had the solo success one might expect. She seems like a genuinely nice person who might not freak out because some rando wrote one blog post about her.
Anyway. I like writing song lyrics and I wish there was some way I could write lyrics for her. But I’ve finally realized that the entire industry is designed to prevent people like me from breaking in. But anyway. I pretty good at telling stories in verse, but that’s not my destiny. My destiny is either a novel or being a fashion photographer. Both of those things take time and that’s something I am in short supply of right now.
I’m not getting any younger and I need to stop sitting on my hands and do something, anything to move forward with my life. I think I’m going to at least look into being a bartender, but even that is going to take time to implement for various reasons. If I’ve learned anything in my old age is that no body owes me anything. You have to make do with what you’ve got an move on when it’s obvious you’ve reached a dead end.
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