Let me be clear, I’ve done absolutely no research on this and what little I know comes from half-viewed Tik-Toks. But, in general, it does seem as though we might need to worry about Miley Cyrus being in a cult.
There seems to be a lot of confusion over this situation. Apparently someone on Twitter tweeted that Cyrus had joined the Modern Mystery School cult or some such, but it’s since been debunked. Or something.
And, yet, SOMETHING is going on with Cyrus because she’s been noticeably absent from the public eye of late. And I say this as someone who isn’t some sort of Cyrus superfan. There is an ebb and flow to public celebrity life and it Cyrus being out of public view — even if that’s just background noise to me — is definitely odd.
But Cyrus does seem like the type of person who would be susceptible to a cult. She is so wide open all the time that it would make sense for her to succumb to the call of a freaky weirdo group.
And, yet, who knows.
It could be just a simple misunderstanding and we’ll wake up and everything will snap back into place.
Many moons ago, I was a DJ in Seoul and I love, love, loved dirty songs. So, when heard Miley Cyrus’ new song “Headstand” I sat up and took notice. It’s a great dirty song about having sex….in a headstand?
What makes it unique is not only how explict it is, but the fact that it talks about sex from a female point of view. I know some people think the album the song is on, “Endless Summer Vacation” is kind of meh, but I, in general, like it.
But, then, as I grow older, I think my musical tastes have grown more mellow. I find myself listening no so much to “easy listening” as to music that isn’t QUITE so jarring.
Anyway, “Headstand” is a great song, at least to me.
I’m a fan of Miley Cyrus, but she has a problem — she’s so wrapped up in belting out songs at the top of her lungs that it takes away from her overall performance. As such, I think she should embrace this tendency by picking songs to cover that allow her to lean into her natural need to scream at the top of her lungs — Meatloaf songs.
Meatloaf is very theatrical and screams his songs in a very over-the-top manner. So, instead of having to tamp down her desire to scream any song she sings, Cyrus could use that to the benefit of songs that were built for just that type of performance.
But I do have to say that, in general, Cyrus has really become one of the most interesting figures in modern music. I still struggle to figure out how much of bonkers behavior is real and how much is an act.
If you take what she says at face value, apparently, being Hanna Montana really did a number on her mentally. She acts so nuts because she’s still suffering the lingering effects of paying the Montana character at such a young age. But I will note that her public persona has been toned down just a little bit now that she’s reached the ripe old age of 30.
This is so dumb, but I have an opinion so here you go. As we all know, Pete Davidson is kind of bonkers (note: so am I). The case could be made that Davidson is Kim’s type because, well, compared to Ye, Davidson is pretty fucking normal and centered.
Kim and Pete.
So, in a sense, Kim marrying a bonkers, well meaning dingus (note: I could call myself the same thing) like Davidson makes total sense in the context of her dating past.
I say this only in the context that apparently the two are “getting really serious.” Now, Kim is 41 at the moment, but could probably squeeze out one more kid because she’s famous and rich. So, lulz, it’s very easy to imagine the two getting married, having a kid, then getting divorced. They would be the entertainment power couple of the 2020s.
But there is a huge wildcard — Miley Cyrus. A Pete Davidson – Miley Cyrus union makes far, far more sense than a Davidson – Kardashian one. And, I think if Pete and Kim did get married, Miley would be waiting in the wings to pounce the moment they broke up.
Given the chaotic energy both of them exude, their union probably would be a long-term one we could all pin our hopes on while we curse the bread.
Maybe it’s because it’s a song-and-dance app, but I’ve seen a lot of disco-themed dancing on Tik-Tok of late. I generally fucking hate most disco because I’m more of a dance pop rock person. I like at least a bit of edge to what I listen — or dance — to. I’m well aware of the meta-social-gender aspect of how great and wonderful the Age of Disco was because the patriarchy was slayed and everyone was free to be gay and do coke off a twink’s ass.
Ok, I get it. And that’s a valid argument –I still fucking hate most disco.
I want music that’s got a beat and you can dance to it — but of the pop rock variety. We’ve had almost 20 years of shitty music that inhabits a vague space known as “Adult Contemporary.” It’s bland, corporate and non-threatening. And, yet, oddly enough, in just the last few years, it’s clear that a number of huge artists are hot on the trail of The New Sound.
For instance, Miley Cyrus keeps covering old rock and New Wave chestnuts as if she knows what she wants to sing — but she can’t find it in modern music. Her latest album is soooo close to what I imagine Rona Rock, the New Sound, would be like.
Meanwhile, Olivia Rodrigo is doing something similar. Her debut album has a lot of wink and nod references to New Wave music. And, yet, it’s still a pretty safe album. It’s pretty much just a pop album full of songs that could be safely played next to an Ariana Grande song on existing Top 40 radio.
It’s Chvrches’ “Screen Violence” album that is exactly what I’ve been looking for. It’s an album that is essentially a throwback to the good old days of dance pop rock by way of Chvrches synth stylings.
More of this!
But the point is — all I would need is the first 10 seconds of “How Not To Drown” and I would play it at Nori in Seoul on a Friday night in late 2006. (Another song from that album, “Nightmares” is a banger, too.) And I think if Miley Cyrus and Olivia Rodrigo swerved in that direction with their next albums that it would be a two-fer: old farts like me would love and the youngins who know jackshit about music produced before cellphones would also sit up an take notice.
I’m natively good at a few things. Among them is, apparently, being a pop rock DJ. Just in the last few months, I’ve started to notice an uptick in the type of music I would have played at Nori in Seoul. I call it “Rona Rock” because, well, lulz, that sounds cool.
But the song that hits the sweet spot for a good tune that I would have played at Nori the moment I heard it is Chvrches’ new song “How Not To Drown.” It’s definitely got that pop rock vibe to it. The type of song that you could play in primetime on a Friday night at the bar and people might endup dancing on the tables before it was over with — especially if it was the first time they had heard it and they really liked it.
It’s very danceable and it has that thump-thump-thump bass needed to get people out shaking their grove thang.
Source: Internet
The thing I would note is — whatever Chvrches is doing, they need to sprinkle it in the drinks of Olivia Rodrigo and Miley Cyrus. “How Not To Drown” is exactly the “new sound” those two women seem to be struggling to discover. It’s pop rock, people! People want to dance to rock music! Why is this so hard for the corporate shills of the modern music industry to understand?
That The Cure’s Robert Smith is involved in “How Not To Drown” is a testament to exactly what I’m talking about. It pains me to no end that Olivia Rodrigo and Miley Cyrus and thrashing about, looking for the New Sound and they probably won’t notice that Chvrches has found it.
The thing I notice about Ms. Cyrus is she loves to belt out songs. So, it would make a lot of sense for her to do at least one Meatloaf “Bat Out of Hell” type album where the songs are so over-the-top and theatrical that when she belts them out at the top of her lungs they’re really good.
Ms. Cyrus seems to be thrashing around a lot with different styles and genres of music. It’s like she wants to be a modern Joan Jett, but hasn’t quite figured out the right combination of songs and producers to do it.
Having said that, I think its inevitable that Ms. Cyrus is going to dabble in Amy Winehouse retro music at some point in the near future. It seems a rite of passage for your typical female pop singer that they do at least one throwback album where they get to dress like a woman in the 40s to early 60s.
I wish Ms. Cyrus would form a all-girl rock supergroup for at least one whole album. That would be cool.
Absolutely no one listens to me. I need to be working on my novel because of that. But it seems to me that if Miley Cyrus came out with her own version of the album “Promiscuous” by Nellie Furtado and produced by Timbaland, then maybe we might go back to having good modern music.
Instead of Timbaland, maybe have Murda Beatz produce the album? I was realy impressed with Murda Beatz song “Motive” with Ariana Grande and it seems like a great stepping off point to a Rona (pop-rock) album. The thing about Ms. Cyrus is she has a pop-rock voice and she desperately wants to sing screaming versions of New Wave songs.
So, I would have them team up and do an album that was pop-rock but was a modern interpolation of New Wave. Even though Ms. Cyrus apparently really is a nuts as she comes off — take your meds, kid — she is a real talent and she’s just got to find the right outlet for her desire to be a pop-rock star.
If you could give me an entire album of songs that were like “Motive” but sounded like something you might have heard from Blondie, The Talking Heads or The Human League, well, that would be pretty damn cool.
I have a serious creative itch to buy a guitar and try to start writing pop-rock songs. But for the moment, I’m going to hold off that. If I’m going to do it, I’m going to do it right. I have a novel I’m working on and that’s totally consumed my creative life for the foreseeable future.
But I still have music on the brain and, as such, I continue to think about Miley Cyrus’ career. I admire her willingness to take chances and I find it frustrating that, to date, all of those risks have fallen with something of a thud. I will give her credit, though, unlike Taylor Swift, at least Ms. Cyrus challenges her fan base. Ms. Swift, while producing good music, releases album after album that is nothing but fan service. Ugh.
Anyway, in a sense, it seems to me that Ms. Cyrus’ conundrum is she wants to bank into hard pop-rock and that market just doesn’t exist. It’s a dead end. I would go so far as to say only as part of a girl supergroup could Ms. Cyrus (with the help of some very famous friends) do anything about the pop-rock space right now.
So, I guess what I’m saying is Ms. Cyrus has two choices in front of her — one, she goes back to the tried-and-true safe adult contemporary route or she can continue to take risks and maybe, just maybe strike it rich by appealing to GenZ people who don’t even know who The Clash are.
Ms. Cyrus definitely seems to want to single handedly bring back punk and New Wave. But here voice isn’t really suited for that. She has a beautiful — but very pop – voice. As such, I would suggest she continue her current trend towards pop rock.
But I would also suggest she look to form some sort of super girl group for one album. It would help all their careers in the long run if she managed to pull it off.
Miley Cyrus’ career is in a curious place. She’s doing all these covers as if she’s struggling to figure out What’s Next. I would suggest that this struggle comes from her voice — she has a pop-rock voice so it’s tough for her to pull off a hard rock song.
There are a number of different ways she could go. One is bank back into the adult contemporary crap that we have to suffer through right now or she could push ahead into harder rock. It seems if she decides to take the latter course that she should team up with Butch Vig of “Heart Shaped Box” fame and the band Garbage. I could definitely see Ms. Cyrus as a successor to Shirley Manson. But Ms. Cyrus would have to choose her songs carefully.
And, yet, who am I kidding. It definitely seems as though there are some macro trends at work that indicate rock is dead and never coming back for any reason. So, it’s not like anyone — even Ms. Cyrus — could produce good music and get any popular attention.
Oh well. I would note, however, that Ms. Cyrus is smoking hot. I still don’t understand what’s going on with her mentally, though. She’s so out there that I always thought it was some sort of act. But she continues to act so bonkers on a consistent basis that I’m beginning to think that’s really who she is. Which is…interesting.
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