Tag: Megan Fox

Querying My First Novel Will Be Brutal

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Tomorrow, the day after my birthday, is kind of my January 1st. I have vowed to myself that this will mark a new era in my life where not only do I lay of drinking so much, but I also really buckle down with the novel.

I’m watching House of Cards a decade after everyone else.

I have something of an idyllic situation on my hands when it comes to developing and writing a novel and it could change literally at any moment. Then I’m going to look back at this moment in my life and be smarting that I didn’t take more advantage of it when I had the opportunity.

And, yet, having said all that, I know, just know, that once I transition from the delusional la-la land of developing and writing a novel into the cold, hard reality of querying that I have to prepare myself for A LOT of disappointment. I’m already preparing myself to piviot to a few scifi concepts while I query.

The biggest problem I can sense about this novel is it’s just not dark enough. Not enough fucked up, twisted things happen. But, having said that, I have come up with more than one reason for people to keep reading during the really long first act — there’s intrigue and lots of sex — some of it kinky, if consensual.

My heroine has a sleeve tattoo similar to this one on Megan Fox, even though I thought of the idea before I saw this.

I like the idea of talking about kinkier sex in a mater-of-fact, consensual way, even though it’s easy for it to be all rather funny. But, I can’t help myself. That’s just my nature — to be kind of droll instead of dark, twisted and scary.

Megan Fox, Your Faux Sleeve Tattoo Is Making Me Nervous About My Novel & Its Heroine

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Megan Fox is something of a sex kitten bomb shell. She came out with what I suspect is a faux sleeve tattoo recently. Now, usually, this would generate nothing more than a meh from me, but the heroine of my novel has a similar tattoo so now I’m stressing out a little bit.

Megan Fox with a (probably) faux sleeve tattoo similar to the one the heroine of my mystery-thriller novel has.

My fear is that either sleeve tattoos will suddenly have “a moment” in pop culture and people will think I’m being a hack, or everyone wills say, “Oh, so just like Megan Fox.”

Ugh. This won’t at all be the case — I came up with this character element for my heroine totally independent and well before what is going on with sleeve tattoos at the moment.

My heroine looks like Nathalie Emmanuel as I write her.

Anyway, I’m probably way overthinking things. But all of this does remind me that I need to hurry up! I need to get this novel done ASAP. I’ve been drifting towards my goal for way too long. It’s crunch time and I need to get this thing done so I can maybe get a paid editor to look at it — ha, I’m too broke — and then begin to query it seriously in late 2024, early 2025.

Of course, even if I stick the landing, it could be five years before I’m a published author. I hate being old.

Who Would Be A Better Babydaddy For Megan Fox, MGK Or Conor McGregor?


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Editor’s Note: What was I thinking????? Still not a fan of MGK, but at least he’s not as deranged as Conor McGregor. Carry on.

First, I don’t care. Lulz. Second, I’m hard at work on the first of four novels I’m writing simultaneously and I need a bit of a distraction while I do that. So, let’s talk about the real important issue of the day: who would make a better babydaddy for Megan Fox, Machine Gun Kelly or Conor McGregor?

The potential love triangle in question.

I totally understand why Fox is banging MGK. I get it. She’s an older woman who wants to fuck a younger guy — one young, dumb and full of cum with a huge cock, fame and lots of money. Ok, ok, that makes sense. It’s just…he kind of looks like a twink that was pushed into a vat of testosterone.

Megan Fox is a brunette, so it would make a lot more sense for her to date Pete Davidson than MGK — and Davidson has become Mr. Home and Harth of late for some reason. I think he could probably get talked into being Megan Fox’s babydaddy.

But, it’s Conor McGregor who is our other option.

He made his move at the MTV Video awards. He made his point — he got Fox’s attention. That’s all he had to do. Now, he waits and sees if Fox slides into his DMs on the DL, as the kids say.

It just seems, to me, a rando, that Fox and McGregor would make a much bigger celebrity power couple. McGregor gives off Jason Statham vibes — even if he’s a bit more twitchy — but if he was Fox’s babydaddy, the event would take them both into another level of celebrity. And, I think, McGregor is man enough that he would at least TRY to stick around should Fox become great with child.

Or not. What do I know.