Tag: Mega Millions

Why Do I Keep Playing The Lottery If I’m Not Going To Win?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I got in some hot water with a bartender recently when I went on one of my regular rants about how much I think playing the lottery is worse than porn. Little did I know that she had a direct, personal, connection to the lottery business.

I felt so bad.

Anyway, as the Mega Millions hovers around $1 billion — again — I decided to play, again, even though I feel extremely foolish doing so. It’s not like anyone from my state ever wins the Mega Millions — or Powerball. It’s usually someone from South Carolina or the Midwest. Virginia just doesn’t have much luck in that department.

But I do have a general moral objection to the lottery because of what a horrible fucking regressive tax it is. Just yesterday I saw some poor woman putting $20, or $40 bucks in the lottery machine in hopes of winning. It’s just horrible. But, here I am, participating in something I don’t believe in.

If that doesn’t say something about my psychology, I don’t know what does.

I think some of the reason why I play the lottery is I have such a hyperactive imagination that it kind of pays for itself in the sense that I do a lot of daydreaming about what I would do if I won about $1 billion. Oh, the “disruptive” things I would do. I would change history if I had $1 billion to play with.

It’s better to burn out than fade away as they say, so, as such, i would think up all kinds of different ways to make some of my harebrained ideas become a reality. I might build out a Twitter clone based on Usenet concepts. I might buy a newspaper. I might start a podcasting network in the vein of Gawker Media.

Did I mention I hate being broke?

All Giddy Lottery Content Is Embarrassing

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m of the opinion that the lottery is if not rigged, then every once in a while it’s subtly manipulated for effect. As such, just as we enter the dead of the year when nothing much is going on, we see that Mega Millions is around $1 billion in pay out.

This serves the purpose of giving the lottery a lot of free PR via cringe worthy media coverage that, in hindsight, is just embarrassing. And I say this as someone who occasionally buys lottery tickets for the entertainment value, if nothing else. I love to run scenarios and I’ve spend a fair amount of time the last few days daydreaming about what I would do if I won that sweet, sweet Mega Millions money.

But every time I think about waxing poetically about how I would change the world with all that money, I hold back. I’m not going to win, no matter how much I may get all excited and daydream about it. So, why the world would I want to document all those daydreams then have them recorded for eternity for me to wince at?

I will note, in passing, that if I had a cool $600 million to play with, I would change the world. I would be John Lennon in the 1970s flamboyant and conspicuous and the press wouldn’t know what to do with me.

And, yet, the chances of any of that happening are so astronomical as to be pointless to even think about — not that I don’t still run the scenario occasional in my head while I — and a few other million people — wait for the drawing. It definitely would be interesting to see people pour over my social media record. Yikes! There’s a lot there for people to “cancel” me for, I’m afraid. For all my high hopes, I’d probably just become another Ken Bone.

So, I’m going to at least try to put my head down and work on my novel.