Tag: Hope Hicks

Kristi Noem & Hope Hicks: Corey Lewandowski ‘Bang Bang Sisters?’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

You just can’t make this shit up. I have no idea if Kristi Noem is really having an affair with…ugh…Corey Lewandowski…but I do have some strong opinions about Noem’s potential “bang bang sister,” Hope Hicks.

That girl needs to go to therapy.

Hick’s dating life is a who’s-who of fucking abusive cocksuckers. It’s bad that it would almost be a relief to know that she was at least banging Trump when she wasn’t ironing his pants with him still in them.

Because, let’s be honest — at a minimum, Hick was Trump’s “work wife.” They were dating on an emotional level, if nothing else. I say this because, lulz, Trump is such a fucking piece of shit that it would be out character for him NOT to bang Hope Hicks.

But back to Noem.

I suspect this is all going to be a lulz, if it’s true. If people like Trump can do whatever the fuck they want with their naughty bits, to whomever they want, then, well, why pick on her?

She’s a big old hypocrite, but, then so is the entire Republican Party at this point.

‘The Talented Ms. Hicks’ — #Lyrics To A Woke Power Ballad

This is meant to tell the theoretical story of Donald J. Trump and his communicates director, Hope Hicks. I have my suspicions that they’re, um…doing it and because it’s a really screwed up situation it seems like great fodder for a power ballad that, say, Bernie Taupin might write.

The Talented Ms. Hicks
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

she directs communication late at night
telling her man he has the world
in his very, very, very large hands
what Melania doesn’t know what hurt her
Donald is of the flesh and weak for
the talented Ms. Hicks
the talented Ms. Hicks
the talented Ms. Hicks

the talented Ms. Hicks
brings with her vitality
she’s perfect as can be
makes the darkness flee
even at night she shines bright like the moon
her touch is ever so smooth
what’s a man to do

Donald doesn’t care what the press will think
he’s above the law
at least he thinks
he’ll pardon himself if need be to be with her
what happens in the Lincoln bedroom or
the Oval shouldn’t matter to anyone
when you have the nuclear codes

the talented Ms. Hicks licks her lips
moves her hips just a little bit for kicks
she has Donald wrapped around her thumb
who knows what fate will bring with it
in the end it will just be she and The Donald

Talk To Me Internet: Joe Arpaio, Hope Hicks & #Writing A Short Story & #Lyrics

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I am feeling creatively restless, so I’m going to try to do some creative things today and tomorrow. But we’ll see. Anything could happen, I guess.