Tag: Fuck The Patriot Party

Advice To The ‘Patriot Party’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

First, — eat shit you fucking fascist shithead cocksuckers.

Now that that’s out of the way, I would suggest to would-be Patriot Party founders to have some vision and think outside the box. Put your stick where the puck is going to be, not where it is now.

So, in that sense, don’t see the Patriot Party as the MAGA party, see it as the neo-Luddite party. Remember, Elon Musk could very well destroy the trucking industry virtually overnight with self-driving semis. That’s three million people out of work right there.

As such, if you’re going to be thinking up some sort of National Socialist American Workers Party ideology, I would suggest you attack technology. Or, specifically, worker-replacing technology. This is something that would give you broad appeal in both the far Right AND far Left. If you played your cards right, you could totally upend the entire American political system in fairly short order.

But I would also note that Trump seems primed to flame out politically in a rather dramatic fashion. You might want to look for a new leader who can articulate this anti-technology agenda in a smooth, toothy fashion. Trumpism without Trump.

I don’t wish you good luck. But it will be interest to see what the future of the fucking fascist Patriot Party will be.

‘Downfall’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I feel I have a certain insight into Trump’s mind because he reminds me a great deal of my late mother — if you added testosterone and a wealthy Queens upbringing.

Anyway, the thing I learned from my mother’s behavior is people like Trump have a certain power from their instability. You just never know how they’re going to react to something. Are they going to flip out or are they going to take it calmly like a normal human being.

Having said that, there’s an element of Trump’s mentality that we’ve been kind of eyes wide shut about. Let’s call it the “Downfall” endgame. In this scenario, Trump’s mind falls into a logic trap and he snaps mentally. It would be at this point that he scares the shit out all of us.

So, let’s say his last-ditch effort to overturn the election fails on Jan 6th. He has about two weeks to wreak havoc. He could go transactional on Twitter in any number of different ways. He would demand MAGA murder liberals in cold blood. He could demand secessionist conventions in Red States. Or, things could get far, far darker.

He might start to get really, really passive aggressive on Twitter. To the extent that he starts talking about his ability to launch nuclear weapons and how he’s “protecting America” by being in office. If that wasn’t enough to scare the shit out of everyone, he might start to whine about how everyone hates him and liberals would be happy if he was dead.

I’m not joking — this is a real possibility.

This brings up the idea that Trump could very well hold up in the White House and refuse to leave. While a lot of Twitter liberals seem to express a certain glee at this prospect, in reality having to coax Trump out of the White House isn’t exactly something I would like to see the country have to go through.

But it gets worse.

What if, by that point, he’s so far gone that he goes the Downfall route. The implications of this would be staggering. It would be his final selfish act. Because it would be something that would-be Patriot Party people could hang an ideological agenda on.

Trunp-as-martyr would scramble our politics for a generation.

And, yet, that scenario is so fucking dark that I don’t like to think about it for no other reason than in the end Trump is a physical coward and for him to do something so drastic would mean he REALLY had lost his mind.

Anyway, he’s something I wrote about trying to get Trump out of the White House a few years ago.

9/10ths
a story fragment of a possible near future
by Shelton Bumgarner

April, 2019

The eyes of the world were on the White House.

Just moments before, President Donald J. Trump, 45th president of the United States, had been convicted by 67 members of the Senate for a whole list of high crimes and misdemeanors. Trump had for weeks now been ranting on Gab about his case in the Senate, bouncing back and forth between threats to start a war with Iran or the DPRK and not-so-subtle hints that he might take his own life should he be convicted by the Senate.

And, now, at last, the moment of truth had arrived.

Trump legally, at least, was no longer president, but he had been oddly silent since the verdict had been announced with great fanfare from the well of the Senate. Trump’s conviction had come after months of investigations on the part of the now Democratic Congress. The length and breath of Trump’s malfeasance discovered by these hearings had rocked the nation to its very core. On more than one occasion, MAGA talking heads on cable news had been interrupted by astonishing breaking news that left them, for once, unable or unwilling to defend the president.

The hearings had ground on for months to such an extent that Trump’s approval had slowly drifted to the 20s and stayed there consistently. Trump’s support was now made up of the very rich and the very poor. Oddly, despite Trump’s near constant demands on Twitter for violence on the part of his supporters, little, if any was reported. Trump had grown so frustrated that he had all but abandoned Twitter at one point for the more receptive Gab social media platform. Though on more than one occasion Rudy Giuliani had made it very clear it was within the rights of the president to declare martial law if he deemed it in the best interests of the nation. More than one delegation of Senate Republicans had gone to the White House to explain to Trump that he was going to be convicted, no avail. Trump made it clear to them, in not so many words that his simply living in the White House made him president, a sentiment best expressed by the legal saw that, “Possession is 9/10ths of the law.”

Finally, a post to Gab came out: “My so-called ‘conviction’ is the work of the Deep State and as such illegitimate. I remain president.”

This set off a chain of events, the likes of which Americans had never seen. Suddenly, everyone on Twitter became a Constitutional scholar as everyone studied the exact wording of the Constitution as to what happens if the president is removed from office by the Senate. The wording is quite clear: he or she is no longer president and that’s it.

Nowhere in the Constitution did it explain what to do if the president simply decided to ignore the Senate. What’s more, nowhere in the Constitution did it state what to do with the nuclear launch codes should a president be removed from office and he refuse to accept the decision of the Senate.

The next few hours were chilling as they were surreal for millions of people not just in the United States but around the globe. The issue of Trump’s physical access to America’s nuclear launch codes was suddenly at the forefront of everyone’s mind. Though it was finally announced that while the nuclear football remained in Trump’s possession, Sec. of Defense Mattis had ordered the American armed forces to stand down for the duration of the crisis.

Trump, on Twitter, was as defiant and unhinged as usual.He threatened to kill himself. He threatened to start a nuclear war. He vowed to declare martial law.

The usual suspects on cable news did their best to spin all of this for Trump. As an anxious nation waited for the now former president to leave the White House, a cavalcade of former Republican Senators and Trump White House staffers attempted to make the former president’s case. Their final argument was that for the good of the country, Trump should be allowed to remain president, despite his lawful conviction by the Senate.

Things began to move rapidly at this point.

Vice President Pence was sworn in but Chief Justice Roberts in a dark, somber event in the Old Executive Building. Meanwhile, it was learned Trump had quietly replaced his Secret Service detail with a private security force that made it clear it was prepared to defend Trump until the bloody end.

At this point, two things happened. A final bipartisan delegation of Congressional leaders came to the White House grounds under the flag of truce. During the course of an hour-long meeting, Trump screamed at them that they had never supported him and the world would be better off if it just ended instead of allowed the forces of the Deep State to ruin America. He made it absolutely clear that he would never leave the Oval Office willingly.

With that, they left.

Next, a surreal, bizarre event, the FBI slowly began to surround the White House. There was much debate online and on TV about how long the nation should wait for Trump to leave the White House. CNN went so far as to do a deep dive into the exact amount of food the White House grounds might have available at any one moment.

Finally, shots rang out from the White House as the battle was joined. It took several hours but in the end, the FBI was finally able to secure the facility. Nearly a dozen personnel on both sides died during the course of the Battle of The White House.

In what would become ionic footage, Trump was quietly escorted from the White House grounds. He spent the remainder of his days ranting on Twitter and Gab that he was the rightful president.

The End.



The ‘Patriot Party’ As Existential Threat To The Republic


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

For the moment, The Patriot Party is more an expression of MAGA frustration that the person they thought would murder American democracy — Donald Trump — was less Hitler and more Chauncy Gardner than anything else.

What MAGA-Qanon-Patriot Party cucksucker shitheads want is, essentially, an American Nazi Party. They want a party that is so absolute in its fidelity to the Dear Leader that any member with any power will break the law rather than let anyone but a member of The Patriot Party take power.

That’s why Trump’s ding-dong “soft coup” to date hasn’t been successful. Republicans still have just enough respect for the rule of law that even if Trump attempts to get them murdered, they stand up to him. The Patriot Party would work hand-in-glove with Trump or whatever American Nazi who happens to pop up in the next few years.

So, in the guise of The Patriot Party, MAGA feels they would get what they haven’t gotten from the Republican Party to date: such absolute partisan allegiance to the autocrat that they destroy American democracy.

But for the moment, this is just a vague inclination among MAGA. It would take Trump joining The Patriot Party for it to really take. Or something. The Republican Party make simply turn into the Patriot Party before it’s over with. Or maybe American democracy will again limp along as the Republican Party implodes for an election cycle.

While we’re in a very dangerous place politically right now in America, unless some sort of “political 9/11” happens, the frustrations of MAGA will remain just that for a few more years.

Prediction: Trump Picks Ken Starr to Be The Hunter Biden Special Counsel


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I am just the right age to remember how Whitewater turned into Paula Jones which turned into The Blue Dress which turned into Bill Clinton being impeached. At the center that clusterfuck was Ken Starr.

So, now that our dipshit ding-dong would-be autocrat Trump is on his way out and is looking for some asshole to look into Hunter Biden, the perfect person for the job is Ken Starr.

By picking Starr, Trump would get exactly what he wants — a showboat who would root around any and everywhere possible to destroy the Biden Administration. Mysteriously, Starr will wrap up his investigation just as the 2022 mid-terms are hitting their silly season.

Starr implicates Biden himself in some way, Republicans win the House then impeach President Biden within moments of the new House being sworn in. It doesn’t matter what happens next — MAGA will have, ex post facto, proven a point: every president gets impeached in the modern era, so lulz, what Trump did was no big deal.

Then someone like Tom Cotton or Mike Pompeo — or Trump! — wins the nomination in 2024, becomes president, goads Blue States to leave the Union and the very civil war that MAGA-Qanon-Patriot Party cocksucker shitheads want so bad NOW, will finally happen.

But, remember, my predictions are almost always wrong.

Chauncy Gardner Doesn’t ‘Cross The Rubicon:’ Government By Ding-Dong


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

MAGA these days craves autocracy. In fact, one could say that’s the central issue of the moment — Trump was supposed to be an autocrat, and “not lose.” And so, when he didn’t do what everyone thought he would do — be an autocrat — it’s left us all, both me and MAGA, in something of a daze.

Trump really is Chauncy Gardner.

That’s why we’re careening towards an extremely surreal moment in American political history. We’re an autocracy without the autocrat. All the conditions are there, but Trump is a ding-dong. His power comes from being a pure avatar for the rot and rage found within the American political system.

But, weirdly enough, Trump really is nothing more than a deranged Chauncy Gardner of “Being There” — he’s so lazy and incompetent and stupid that he simply can’t give his followers what they want: an autocracy. Hence, his followers beg him to “cross the Rubicon” and take “total control” but he’s just not up to it. And, in a sense, it’s too late.

If Trump had struck in some autocratic fashion right before or right after election day, then he probably would not only be cruising towards a stolen second term, but he probably would have goaded the Blue States into a secession crisis which would have given him the ability to reconstruct them in his own image.

Which, of course, is exactly what MAGA-Qanon-Patriot Party cocksucker shitheads want, NOW. It’s a very surreal event that if you take Trump seriously as a political Great Man, him being an idiot has saved American democracy to fight another day. We all overestimated him.

This is not to say he still can’t cause trouble.

Have to be an autocrat to “not lose.”

There’s a decent chance he may finally go completely fucking insane at some point between, say, Jan. 6th and Jan. 20th and do all kinds of accidently-on-purpose autocratic things on his way out the door. He could go transactional on Twitter. He could demand that Red States leave the Union and have “real” America have its “real” president…maybe with a capital in Montgomery, Alabama?

But that’s a wildcard at the moment. It definitely seems as though besides a huge tax cut for plutocrats and hundreds of young, hack MAGA judges the Trump Era could be pretty much entirely value-free. The country will continue to be 48% Blue and 48% Red, but for the time being have something akin to a functioning, if weakened, democracy.

As such, what the MAGA-Qanon-Patriot Party cocksucker shitheads want — an autocratic strike that causes a civil war — will still happen, just in about four or so years. It won’t be Trump, it’ll be Tom Cotton or Mike Pompeo who finally strangles American democracy.

Or, put another way, once Trump is out of office, there’s a chance that American politics will snap back into place in a rather surreal fashion. Republicans will try to use Jedi mind tricks on the American populace so they can go back to bad faith arguments about this or that contrived kerfuffle as though we’re back to Obama’s second term. The massive hypocrisy of this won’t work on a lot of people, but it will probably work with enough people for Democrats to lose the House and Biden to be impeached as soon as possible.

I have no idea what is going to happen in post-Trump America. But I do suspect it’s going to be extremely surreal because when Trump had the means, motive and opportunity to murder American democracy…he went golfing.

The Special Relationship: Brexit & American Disunion


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The “special relationship” between the United States and the UK is something the Brits think about a lot more than the Americans. Americans think of the UK as smarter, more sophisticated cousin who listens to better music and calls soccer football. Meanwhile, the Brits seem to hang on our every word and struggle to keep the special relationship, special.

I mention this because on a macro political level, the United States and the United Kingdom have, for decades now, been in lockstep. Where one nation goes politically, the other is soon to follow. It’s gotten kind of eerie at this point. What is Boris Johnson, but Great Britain’s Donald Trump?

So, you can understand my alarm when there is growing talk of Scotland leaving the UK as a consequence of Brexit. It makes me wonder if the United States might have some sort of secession crisis far sooner than any of us suspect. As an aside, I still find how blasé the Brits are about Scotland leaving after hundreds of years rather startling. But you do you, guys.

It definitely seems as though the forces of disunion are growing in strength in the United States. And, yet, for the time being, it’s all an abstract. Sure, there are plenty of fucking shithead cocksucker MAGA-Qanon-Patriot Party people who want Trump to somehow “cross the Rubicon” and take “total control,” but it’s more their frustration with Trump not being an autocrat than anything they can actually pull off at the moment.

Or, if they do pull it off, it would be through something rather spectacular and unexpected.

I’m just worried that if Scotland really does leave the UK that that, in itself, will give strength to similar secessionist dreams in the United States. And, I would note, we really need to keep and eye on Brexit. That, in itself, could be a massive clusterfuck with some pretty dramatic side-effects in the global economy.

Only time will tell.

The Strange Case Of Everyone Wanting A Second American Civil War


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

This blog gets very few hits, but I’m getting a growing amount of traffic from people obviously interested in my dystopian hellscape scenarios about some sort of Second American Civil War.

What gives?

Well, this seems to be a pretty complex question. Some of this comes from a number of macro political trends coming to a head at the same time. The rot in the American political system — exemplified by rise of Donald Trump — is so bad that growing number of MAGA-Qanon-Patriot Party cocksucker shitheads on an abstract level want the opportunity to murder “libtards” in cold blood.

The question, of course, is why.

I think some of it comes from the absence of something — Trump actually being an autocrat. When MAGA-Qanon-Patriot Party cocksucker shitheads voted for Trump in the first place, they thought they were getting the guy from The Apprentice. They thought he would be an autocrat who would destroy American democracy once and for all and put globalist cucks in their place.

Alas, as has been proven repeatedly over the last five-odd years, Trump is NOT an autocrat in the traditional sense. Trump has autocratic impulses and he has a lot of power by just, well, being himself, but he’s not a leader and he’s really just a lazy, incompetent ding-dong. If you want my proof — all I have to do is point out that had Trump struck in an autocratic fashion right before or right after the election, he probably would be cruising into a stolen second term. What’s more, there probably would be a civil war or secessionist crisis because at that point, Blue States would be so upset that they would leave the Union. This would give Trump the legal cover to take over Blue States, reconstruct them in his own image and give the MAGA-Qanon-Patriot Party cocksucker shitheads the autocracy they so crave.

But, guess what! Trump’s an idiot. A lazy idiot.

So, while Trump is an avatar for the rot of the American political system, he doesn’t have something that Hitler had — an actual willingness to force the matter as necessary when politics got in the way. It’s because of that absence of focus on Trump’s part that I have come up with all these pretty simple ways Trump could stay in office as long as he wanted….only to have him not do any of them because, well, he’s a ding-dong and not an autocrat.

And I think that’s the source of a lot of people who come to the site’s curiosity — they know a martial law, secession and civil war SHOULD be happening right now….but it’s not. And they can’t figure out what happened. They’re so busy sucking Trump’s cock and fucking their guns that they don’t realize that Trump simply isn’t the autocrat they wanted.

This is not to say that such an autocrat won’t arise. There are about a half dozen people waiting in the wings to complete the process Trump has started. The ironic thing is, Trump is such an idiot and wants all the power but none of the responsibility that for the time being, he’s freezing out Tom Cotton or Mike Pompeo or whomever from becoming president in 2024 and doing all the things that MAGA-Qanon-Patriot Party cocksucker shitheads believe should be happening NOW.

It’s still possible that Trump is going to lose his fucking mind and somehow start a civil war. But the thing that MAGA-Qanon-Patriot Party cocksucker shitheads don’t realize is they don’t actually live in Russia. Trump can’t just tweet that we’re under martial law and good old boys can now start murdering liberals Purge style without any consquences.

There would have to be some reason, some catalyst for martial law to be declared and Trump has waited so long that if he did try to take “total control” at this point, first the U.S. Military would ignore him and second soon enough Joe Biden would be legally POTUS and, well, fuck you, you fucking cocksucker shitheads.

So, it’s still possible a civil war could break out any moment (I guess.) But it’s just not going to happen the way MAGA-Qanon-Patriot Party cocksucker shitheads think it would.

More likely, this is the beginning of a process that will lead to a civil war at some point between now and, say, 2025. But I can’t predict the future. Who knows.

Of ‘The Patriot Party’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

In a sense, the Republican Party is down low imploding. On one end of the spectrum, you have conservative NeverTrumpers openly talking about starting their own party. Meanwhile, MAGA hates the Republican Party so much that it wants to start its own “Patriot Party.”

It seems to me that the Patriot Party is more about the fire next time than it is anything going on right now. The goal of a “Patriot Party” would be that it would be an honest-to-God fascist party that would completely ignore any law or norm that got in the way of them obtaining and maintaining power.

But there’s an immediate problem with this. One is, if you slice the MAGA base from the Republican Party, then the rump Republican Party is far more likely to snap back to some semblance of being a “normal” party again.

At least for one election cycle.

The long-term consequences of a Patriot Party would be the United States would finally turn into the autocracy that MAGA wants it to be — and it would be, but for Trump being a total ding-dong and not an autocrat.

So, I guess in a sense, what I thought would happen — a civil war now, has just been punted down the road to sometime between 2023 and 2025. Or not. Trump could still lose his fucking mind and go transactional on Twitter between now and January 20 and somehow cause the United States to buckle into severe political violence.

All I can say is — fuck you, MAGA, you fucking cocksuckers.