Tag: First Contact

A Potential ‘Big Shrug’ for ‘Hard’ First Contact?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I find ANY suggestion that there is proof of Hard First Contact very dubious. I mean, how the fuck did the Little Green Men get here, to begin with? But, putting aside those concerns, the idea that the U.S. Airforce may be in possession of some sort of alien probe is very curious.

What’s even more curious is, it’s very possible that we may have proof of ETs and…nothing will happen. We’re all so being sucking our own cocks as we debate if this or that thing is “woke” that we won’t even care that The Single Biggest Event In Human History has be proven.

I can only think of a hand full of events that would be equal to Hard First Contact. The birth of Jesus. The discovery of the New World by Europeans. Splitting the Atom. Landing on the Moon.

That’s about all I got.

But it remains to be seen if what we’re being told is true turns out to be true. Yet there is hope — if it becomes clear to The Powers That Be that no one gives a shit that Hard First Contact has happened…it’s a lot more likely that The Truth about that issue will become known.

At least, that’s my hope.

The ultimate endgame of all of this is we’re all going to know that we’re not alone in the Universe and no one will care. Space nerds will whisper about this or that additional discovery, maybe by the James Webb Space Telescope, but in the end only if Little Green Men land on the front lawn of the White House will the average person care.

Watch Me Waste Time Speculating About First Contact Because of That Dumb Balloon That Was Shot Down

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

While it definitely would put a pep in my step if First Contact happened because the U.S. Government shutdown what it thought was a Chinese spy balloon over Alaska, I find the entire idea very, very dubious. So, to that extent, what I’m writing at this very moment is a huge waste of time.

But, lulz, I have a little spare time on my hands, let’s waste time and imagine what the consequences of First Contact might be in this situation.

First, I would note that America is so divided that I can’t even have a jovial conversation about this dumb story with my Traditionalist relatives because the story would inevitably pivot a pitched rhetorical battle over Biden not shooting down the first balloon. It’s all very sad.

Anyway, what makes this particular incident different is there is wreckage to inspect. So, theoretically, once we have an opportunity to examine that wreckage we will know one way or another what the fuck was shot down. Now, if it was of non-terrestrial origin, the natural inclination of the U.S. Government would be to classify the whole thing and act like nothing happened.

So, if there was anything of note about the object shot down out of the ordinary, then the U.S. Government would be in something of a sticky wicket. If they classify everything — for any reason — then a thousand conspiracies are born. Meanwhile, if they tell what really happened — if it is not human — we face a rather abrupt First Contact.

The reason why this particular situation would be different is it wouldn’t be an abstract — there would be actual evidence that aliens have the technology to traverse the vast expanse of space to reach earth. The implications of that would definitely be a Day The Earth Stood Still moment.

The idea that not only are we Not Alone, but aliens have the technology to reach the humanity would be staggering.

Of course, if we learned that the balloon was actually some sort of alien probe, the wreckage would instantly be the most valuable in human history and there would be calls to turn it over to the UN (or whatever.) Then you have a huge battle over Who Owns It and who Gets To Study It.

I have my doubts that there would be any violence if we did have First Contact. And I suspect that instead of unifying humanity, we’re probably just going to be even more divided as different powers demand look at the wreckage.

In other words, everything sucks.

I will note, however, that I have a feeling that given all the weird things we’re learning (with no explanation) about what’s going on in skies around the globe. It’s at least possible that some sort of ETs are doing regular looky-loos of humanity, we just haven’t managed to shoot them down.

What You Held First Contact & Nobody Cared?


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

One of the reasons why conspiracy theorists suggest that the government may be hiding the existence of alien life from us all is the prospect that we would all freak the fuck out.

And, yet, I would suggest that under almost all reasonable methods of us discovering that We Are Not Alone, it would all be a lulz. Let me explain.

Right now, as you read this, we know for a fact that the US military has repeatedly over the years run into very strange drone-like things that seem to exhibit technological abilities that are far beyond what we assume humans can do.

And yet…it was barely a blip for one news cycle.

As such, we could discover absolute proof of alien life in the universe and outside of very online people and science nerds… the average person probably wouldn’t care that much. And if they did start to care, then the very dynamic we see with global climate change and vaccines would kick in. If people really started to have to confront the implications of humanity not being alone in the universe, they would think up ways to dismiss it for political reasons.

So, the case could be made that there is only one way First Contact would matter to the average person — “hard” First Contact. We’re talking huge alien spaceships over major cities like in Childhood’s End.

But if it’s a “soft” First Contact that’s not sexxy, then, lulz. It, too, would be important on Twitter for little more than a few hours. Given how clear that is, I think we may be surprised what we learn in the next few years. The Powers That Be probably have figured out how hard it would be to actually scare people about evidence of ETs, so they won’t care if some happens to appear. No reason to hide it if no one cares.

A Little Contemplated Aspect Of A Potential First Contact: The Religious Right


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Given the extremely weird development that the U.S. Military is like, “Oh, by the way, UFOs are real,” I’ve found myself given a bit more serious thought about what First Contact would be like in practical terms.

Now, obviously in the back of my mind I’m kind of couching this in a “JEWS IN SPACE” plot device for a hazy movie in my mind, but we shouldn’t sleep on the Religious Right in the United States getting really fucking worked up about converting any space aliens we might eventually encounter.

It would not happen right away. And how likely it was to happen would depend on the actual nature of the ETs. (I think it’s likely that any ETs we actually encounter would be machine intelligence, but, lulz, even that wouldn’t stop MAGA Religious Right people.)

It’s easy to imagine a situation where one the shock wore off that we Were Not Alone that the (white) MAGA Religious Right in the United States would see the aliens as Souls To Save. The only reason why I even suggest this is the fucked up religious logic that has made the absolute support of Israel a foundational aspect of the modern Christian Right.

If they can pull that out of their ass, they can definitely think up a reason to demand they get the opportunity save aliens souls, too. (I’m not picking on Israel, but, as I understand it, the American Religious Right’s love for it is for a kind of dark reason.)

It would be surreal that once we reached Alien Nation levels of indifference to aliens being in our presence that the aliens would start to complain about how pushy the American Religious Right was. (How the American Religious Right would get to the point where they finally came to believe that ETs had “souls” would also be pretty surreal.)

Anyway. lulz.