I’m of an age where my frame of reference for beauty is the supermodels of the 80s and 90s. And, for some reason of all the astonishing beauties of that age, the one that really caught my eye was always Christy Turlington.
Helen of Troy. /Google Images
What’s more, from the pictures I’ve seen of her recently, she’s still fucking got it. She’s incredibly beautiful. Stunning. Gorgeous.
Anyway, Ms. Turlington is my Venus. Something about the severe nature of her beauty is timeless. If just the mere existence of that high a form of natural art doesn’t make one want to take pictures, I don’t know know what will.
Hmm. The last few weeks, I’ve felt something shift in the cosmos. It’s as if I feel a ping from Something Big that is going to happen in a few months. I generally don’t believe in such bullshit — I’ve had such feelings before, only for them to pass — but, I dunno.
One thing it could be is I’ve finally figured out what my second creative “track” is going to be — photography — and I’m generally stoked about all the potential things that might flow from it. It’s going to be as late as around my birthday in February for me to get all the equipment I want, but I’m still feeling very pleased.
I finally — finally — know what the other thing I want to do with my life is. Also around my birthday, I’m determined to have four first drafts done of the novels series I’ve been working on. I’m a person who likes a deadline and so I’m determined to give myself a crazy short deadline in hopes of forcing the issue so I finally produce something, anything before I croke.
I remember what happened in Seoul in the late 2006 – early 2007 timeframe and I feel I can do it again: be famous for at least two major creative endeavors. For a long time, I thought it was going to be four novels and and writing screenplays…but now, it may be four novels and some sort of career in (fashion) photography.
But, lulz, I know, I know, I’m too old and I’m probably too big of a kook for anyone to take me seriously, even if I can consistently produce excellent photos. And, yet, this is my dream and I’m wasting my time with it, so leave me alone, ok?
It will be interesting to see if I can pull this rabbit out of a hat or if a year from now I’m essentially in exactly the same place, saying exactly the same things. That’s my fear, at least.
One of my better shots from Seoul. Such a beautiful subject.
Oh, Jesus am I old to be thinking about trying to break into fashion photography. I’m too old. I live in the middle of nowhere. And don’t really have a background in anything that might give me an “in” to the business. In other words, I’m being pretty delusional to even contemplate it.
But what I do have is talent. A lot of it. And a love of fashion as an art form. As I’ve grown older, I’ve grown a lot more jaded about thinking I’ll be accepted by any of the characters in the industry — without a huge, massive amount of hard work, natch –but I’m notorious for taking a tiny opportunity and running with it to such an extent that I shock the “haters and losers” who think I’m better simply to not talk at all.
An early attempt at fashion photography in Seoul.
One reason why I love fashion photography is the female form is, by definition, art and there’s a lot you can do with it because a woman catches the eye of sexes. It’s interesting, on a creative basis, to toy with expectations and interests that people have about what people wear and the beauty of the female form.
Or, you could say the above is pretentious bullshit and I know I have an organic talent for photography and I like taking pictures of hot chicks in beautiful clothes. All I can say is, welp, you caught me. My entire life, I’ve had an eye for beauty. In the past, I’ve latched on to a subject an event to the point that husbands have gotten annoyed, to put it lightly.
What a great subject. Another shot from the Seoul era.
The key thing is to remember is no one ever got anything from playing it safe. Also, as I approach a milestone birthday, I’m growing very, very nervous that I’m going to shuffle off this mortal coil having not really accomplished anything. And I like idea of having a lot on my creative plate.
Yes, I have four novels I’m working on, but why not throw myself into attempting to break into fashion photography as well? I like a challenge and I like proving people who think I’m just an Internet crank wrong. So, here I am, patiently waiting to save up enough money to buy a Nikon 780 so I can begin to try to establish myself as a fashion photographer.
“You’re a delusional jerk with a good heart,” the late Annie Shapiro about me, circa 2007.
Annie Shapiro and I in happier days.
by Shelt Garner @sheltgarner
Oh, Jesus. One thing that really annoys me is when people won’t give me the benefit of the doubt and assume the absolute worst about me and my intentions. I’m WELL AWARE that I can across as an Internet crank to people who are paying attention. The worst thing ever said about me (above), however, was by the late Annie Shapiro while we were emotionally at war over the late, great ROKon Magazine in Seoul.
Annie called me, essentially, an asshole, when I was extremely unhappy with her for bringing back the magazine we started behind my back. It was probably one of the worst experiences in my life, seeing my “baby” back in print without me being involved. I was, on an emotional level, so kneecapped that I didn’t really have any motivation to do anything for ten years.
This is the Annie Shapiro I remember. Photographer unknown.
But, just in the last few weeks, something has changed. I feel the pressure of a milestone birthday looming on the horizon and I want to do something interesting with my life again. This are finally going well with these four novels I’m working on and I feel as though finally, after much trial and error I’ve figured out what my second tract will be — fashion photography.
I’ve always been a late bloomer, why change now?
I totally understand if you’re someone who’s been paying attention to my ranting online over the years and you think I’m nothing more than yet another deranged Internet crank. First, I think you’re full of shit and second you’re totally oblivious to what happened in Seoul.
In fact, I would go so far as to say now that I have both motivation and ambition, there’s a pretty good chance that I may re-create the situation I had in Seoul at my height where I “famous” for more than one thing. In that case, I was an expat pop-rock DJ AND the publisher of the monthly English magazine in the city. So, lulz and fuck you. (Wink.)
Back when I was famous in Seoul for being a DJ and publishing ROKon Magazine.
It’d kind of wild it’s taken me THIS long to make fashion photography my second creative “track.” I thought it was going to be screenwriting — I went so far as to buy Final Draft — but something weird began to happen recently. For some reason, I was really hyper-sensitive to any reference to professional photography that happened around me.
Things came to a tipping point where I realized that like being a pop-rock DJ, I am a good enough photographer on an organic basis that I probably could do it professionally with the right equipment and some study. So, here we are.
Now, I’m just waiting to save up the funds to buy a REALLY GOOD Nikon camera so I can begin to work my way towards breaking into the fashion photography business. I’m being rather — even extremely — delusional to think I can pull such a think off, but it’s better than just lying in bed and staring into space.
Hope is what keeps us alive.
Believe.
As I grow older, I really appricate that life is precious. We’re given a limited amount of time on earth and it’s our responsibility to use what native talents we have to the absolute best of our ability.
I’m a big believer in the idea that we make our own reality through the choices we make on a daily basis. I’m really good with “The Vision Thing” and as of the moment, I’m mulling how I might be able to, in a way, cover New York Fashion Week next year.
Back to the future.
Once I secure the Nikon camera I want (need?) then I can begin to plot out how I’m gong to get to NYC during fashion week so I can take street fashion photos. Every problem is an opportunity in disguise, so it will be fun think up how I might make such a thing a reality.
I would just want take photos during NYFW for, say, 24 hours. But a lot would rest on some issues that I don’t really have much control over. And, yet, maybe I can figure something out. It would be a dream come true to do something l like that successfully.
The point would be to use such photos to build up my portfolio.
There is so much to think about, now that I’ve picked “professional photographer” as the thing I want to do at some point down the road. Or, more specifically, my ultimate dream is to be a fashion photographer. That — along with being a pop-rock DJ — is kind of the sweetspot when it comes to things I can do well and maybe — just maybe — get paid to do it.
But we’ll see, I guess.
I still don’t have the camera I need — or at least want. Then there are all kinds of other things I need to do as part of this particular vision of my future. AND, while I’m doing that, I have four novels to finish as quickly as possible.
We all have a precious few years on this planet. I’m old enough to know there are a few things I’m good at organically. I can tell a good story. I’m a damn good pop rock DJ under the right circumstances and….I am, organically, a great photographer.
Me, when I was still young and cute.
I’ve been struggling with what my second creative “track” would be and I’ve finally figured out what it will be: photography.
But let me put this in context.
I’m about 20 years too old to be traditionally successful. I live in the wrong place. I have the wrong background. And while I love fashion as an art form, I have the personal fashion sense of an ameba.
And, really, all of this is just another attempt to give my life some structure. I’m kind of adrift at the moment outside of the four novels I’m developing and writing and it would be nice to have a second “track” that I could turn to when I need to think about something else.
So, as far as I can tell, photography is it. My long term goal would be, like, to do something cool like do some wildcat street photography around NY Fashion Week. That would be a dream come true.
In Busan a long time ago.
But, given the things I can’t control I mentioned above, in a sense any interest in fashion photography on my part would be obviously delusional and nothing more than being creative for being creative’s sake.
My soul is that of a photographer, more than even a writer, and since I’m not going to live forever, I need to get to it and start the process of learning how to use a nice prosumer Nikon. I’m going to save up for a few months to get the camera I’m interested in (which is just the frame) then save up more to buy a nice standard lens and some sort of flash.
Then, I’m going to think about different places in my area where I can take photos to learn how to use the camera. I’m already preparing myself for the camera in question to have an unusually steep learning curve. But I really believe in photography, so it will be worth it. (At least to me.)
I surprised the haters when I DJed in Seoul and I can do it again with photography. A lot can go wrong — I’ve had this urge before, after all and that went bust — but it gives me something to think about, some direction in my life.
I have an eye for beauty, if nothing else and it’s nice to finally figure out what my second “track” will be.
You must be logged in to post a comment.