Tag: Everything Is So Dumb

Mystery Of The Universe: How Does AOC Keep That Smoking Hot Bod Under Wraps?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Because of her politics, the fact that AOC is drop dead gorgeous is a far more touchy subject than you might think. On Twitter, at least, you can’t even make a joke about it without people jumping down your throat.

AOC being hot and young.

Ok, I get it, we have to judge her exclusively on her mind, not her looks.

Or, should I say, we SHOULD judge her exclusively on her mind, not her looks. But can you imagine the epic blow up on social media and the hysterical MAGA echo chamber if even ONE photo of AOC in a skimpy bikini somehow was leaked? It would break the Internet.

The Right would demand her expulsion from Congress while at the same time they might break their penises from masturbating so hard to the picture.

Which, of course, is exactly why she keeps her physical beauty under wraps. But you have to hand it to AOC — she’s been very, very lucky. It says something that there is NOT ONE photo of a young “Sandy” in a string bikini enjoying a hot NYC summer on some rooftop.

It’s crazy.

The demand for such a forbidden non-existent bikini picture is so potent that people keep coming to this site thinking I have one, when all I ever do is write about how the pictures they want so bad don’t exist!

Maybe there’s something going on that I don’t know about. It is possible that she closes off beaches so she can wear a bikini? Are the press protecting her in some way? If so….lulz. I don’t care.

I totally get why she is on lockdown about such things. I just find it really hysterical that so many people search for such photos, thinking that somewhere on the Internet they exist.

But it is really sad that she has to be so careful about her body. She’s human and we should be able to respect her mind while at the same time she have the right to wear a bikini in public if the mood hits her. And, yet, here we are, with that being impossible because of what renobs the Right is made up of.

‘Triage’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

America is careening towards a very dark and tragic future. I can’t predict the future, but the there are some titanic forces at work in the United States that are tearing it apart on an existential level.

I struggle to imagine any situation where the United State avoids significant political violence up to and including an actual Second American Civil War. The key issue is what, exactly, pushes us past the breaking point.

There are a wide array of scenarios that one can think up at this point. Everything from the importune death of major political figure to the bogus Cyber Ninja recount in Arizona magically “proving” that Trump won the state might be enough to cause the most powerful country in the world to buckle in a rather spectacular fashion.

But none of them have happened yet. It could be that we’ll just do what we always do, which is punt the problem down the road again a few more years. Yet, even if we do manage to punt this crisis down the road, we will likely reach a dead end in the 2024-2025 timeframe.

My current fear is the same dynamic that we saw with the January 6 Capitol Insurrection will happen again on a much larger scale should, say, Cyber Ninjas pull a Trump “win” out of its butt in Arizona: Trump will be so busy crowing about how he “really won” that he won’t notice that his followers have lost their fucking minds and called conventions in a number of states to leave the Union.

By the time he gets around to saying, “sorry, not sorry” it will be too late. There will be a civil war and he’ll be at the center of it woefully unprepared for any sort of actual “war time” leadership. Then were will probably be a coup by any one of a dozen would-be MAGA Republican autocrats.

Good times!

So, the point is, we have to start thinking seriously about what we’re going to do should the collapse come. I wish I was smarter. Then I could layout some sort of practical approach the America’s impeding doom. I got nothing.

Maybe someone smarter than me can figure that out.