Ok, I Get It, Emma Stone

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

In an effort to expose myself to some creativity, I went to see “Poor Things.” Or, should I say, I TRIED to see the movie. I left after a few minutes because it was just not very entertaining to me.

Or, put it another way, the moment I realized what was going on with the movie, I bounced. Rather than tell a story that was actually engaging, the movie was Oscar bait for Emma Stone. Also, I understood why (apparently) there’s so much T&A in the movie — the movie is obviously a passion project for Stone and she felt that the only way to get the movie produced was to get nekkid so people would go specifically to see her T&A.

This. Happens. All. The. Time. In. Hollywood.

Especially with older actresses.

The movie was fine, for what it was, but the moment I had the meta elements of the movie figured out, I had better things to do — like work on my novel.

Something About Emma Stone Is So Hot

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It has come to my attention that there is a lot of uhhhh, sexxy time in Emma Stone’s latest Oscar bait Poor Things. Something about that really gets my juices flowing for some intangible reason.

I think some of it has to do with how she’s steered clear of T&A in her career to date. And I think it’s a testament to two things. One is having a great personality is hot — and helps a great deal when it comes to being an actress. That’s why Emrata, who is demonstrably better looking than Stone, neither has the acting chops nor the twinkle that Stone has.

Something about Stone doing showing some skin in Poor Things seems like forbidden fruit, which only adds to the allure. It could be that I’m just turning into a dirty old man, but, lulz.

Another thing — that Stone would show some skin later in her career is a reminder that the dynamic for actresses doing such stuff changes the older they get. When they’re just starting out, it can come across as exploitive. But later in their career, they often serve as producers in the movies they are in, so they have some skin — no pun intended — in the game.

But, I dunno. I think a lot of this idle musing on my part is just being older. When you’re older, the context of such things changes. It is very curious to me how skittish we’ve become when it comes to heteronormative monoculture and the use of T&A in mainstream movies.

We’re so busy having gratuitous gay sex scenes, that we seem to miss that straight sex can be pretty hot, too. Whatever. No one listens to me.