Month: April 2023

Happy Birthday, New York Magazine

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

There is probably an alternative universe out there where I at some point in the past worked for New York Magazine. I first became aware of the magazine not by reading it, but reading about it. I used to work at the Virginia Press Association and they had a small media-oriented library and among the books they had was one about The New York Herald-Tribune.

It was dry as dirt and I only read about 2/3rds of it, but what I did read was interesting. New York Magazine was originally the Sunday magazine of The New York Herald-Tribune. The paper was a bastion of Northeast Republican thought.

Anyway.

I love magazines as a concept and there was a point when I was really into New York Magazine. But, alas, as I’ve grown older, all my media consumption has grown extremely passive. The only contact I have with New York Magazine now is the occasional link on Twitter that I just read the headline of and never go any further.

But once I blow up with my DJ (novel) money, I would love to write for them in some capacity. With my luck, of course, they’ll probably write some profile of me that leads to me being “canceled.”

Day 26: I’m Not Perfect

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

They say it’s better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all and that’s really the only way I can comfort myself when it comes to the idea that I may write the great American pop novel, only to be canceled for some stupid shit I did 20 years ago.

But, who knows. I can’t predict the future. It’s possible that should I sell a novel and it is a success of some sort that all my bad behavior back in the bad old days will either never come to light because no one really will care that much or it will come to light and I’m just being paranoid.

I didn’t really do anything THAT bad, but there was a stretch of time back in my drunken bad old days where I was…difficult. But I can’t go back and change the past.

The point of all of this is just to prove a point — that I’m if not a good writer I’m a good enough storyteller that I can finish a novel that someone not related to me will read all the way to the end and enjoy.

Everything else that happens in this particular journey will be icing on the cake. So, lulz, I have to prepare myself for the possibility that I will actually do what I set out to do, but because of some dumb drunk thing I did a long time ago, any “success” I might have won’t last very long.

Of course, I have to finish the damn novel first. I’m well on my way to doing just that. As predicted, because I have the foundation of the novel set now, things are moving a lot quicker.

It will be interesting to see what Beta Readers think of the novel and how much retooling I’m going to have to do as a part of the Beta Reader process. At the moment, I’m pretty stoked at how good the novel is becoming. But it could be that there are a lot of problems that I’ve missed in some way and I’m going to spend a lot more time than I now believe reworking things.

And that doesn’t even begin to address the issue of having to save up enough to get an editor to look over the manuscript before I begin the — gulp — querying process.

Day 25: Gaming Out The Beta Reader Process

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It continues to be touch and go at the moment, but it is at least possible that I will wrap up the second draft of this novel as planned no later than July 4th, 2023. As such, I’m going to need Beta Readers.

If I manage to succeed, I’m willing to give Beta Readers no more than three months to read the novel. I can’t wait forever. And those three months will give me time to save up for an editor to read the manuscript before I get into the querying process.

This is where things get both very exciting and very nerve-wracking because it’s a whole new era. I’ve never gotten this far before. And even if I stick the landing, there is every reason to believe that I will be around 55 before I’m a published novelist.

As such, I’m probably going to start working seriously on some sort of second and third creative track whenever I enter the Beta Reader process. That’s the only way I can continue my forward momentum productively.

And, as always, a lot and I mean A FUCKING LOT, can go wrong either on an existential basis or in a way that totally changes the context of what’s going on. Anyway. All I can do is just work with what I do know, not on what I don’t know.

If things change, then I act accordingly.

But, for the time being, all systems go. Full speed ahead!

What I Got Wrong About Late 2024, Early 2025

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

If I was forced to predicted what I get wrong about late 2024, early 2025, I think it all boils down to the idea that somehow we punt our problems down the road AGAIN, just like we did in 2020.

The key issue would be that either Trump loses and just shuts up, or Biden isn’t the nominee in the first place and THAT person manages to unite the country in some way I can’t predict.

But here in early 2023, things are NOT looking great for America. All things considered, we either have a civil war or we turn into a MAGA-themed autocracy. That’s all I got.

So, something I simply can’t predict here in 2023 would have to happen to prevent that choice from happening. In 2020, it was a combination of Trump being VERY stupid and VERY lazy combined with a once-a-century pandemic that punted out problems down the road.

I just don’t see us being that lucky again.

As such, there is a very, very narrow window possibility for us to escape either turning into a MAGA-themed autocracy or having a National Divorce and, as such a civil war.

Vibe Shift: Hollywood Unbound

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

A lot of different things are happening with Hollywood right now that we make reflect on and say, “Well it was OBVIOUS that…” this or that thing was going to happen. Here are some of the reasons why Hollywood as we know it may be collapse in the next few years:’

Comic Book Movie Overdose
It’s possible that comic book movies have, at last, jumped the shark. It’s possible that comic book movies are running on fumes and there will come a point in the near, near future where some a new genre will have its moment in the sun. It could be anything from raunchy 80s-style movies to serious, gritty movies. It definitely seems as though, maybe, we’re on the cusp of a significant vibe shift, however.

AI Generated Entertainment
This is something that could pretty much burn traditional Hollywood to the ground. If we wake up in 2026 and ALL media is AI generated, then, whoa. It could be that the only way new stars are generated is on the stage. They go to Broadway, make a name for themselves, get a digital body scan then live off the passive income from that for the rest of their life. Regardless, things are on the cusp of lurching forward big time in Hollywood.

The Writers’ Strike
If there is a long-ish WGA writers’ strike then…oh boy. The adoption of AI to write movies and TV will only accelerate. It could be that by the time the strike is over, a sizable portion of all TV and movies are being written by AI and that will dramatically change the dynamic of Hollywood culture going forward.

Franchise Decay
All the major movie franchises — expect maybe James Bond — have been so stripmined that they are all but dead. They need to lie fallow for a few years, maybe a decade, then be hard rebooted in ways that appeal to modern audiences. But, alas, Hollywood is so fucky hackined and greedy that they just can’t leave well enough alone.

A Review of The First Episode Of ‘The Diplomat’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Because I’m writing a novel, I’m obsessed with the finer points of storytelling. And, I have to say, I’m pretty pleased with the first episode of the Keri Russell vehicle The Diplomat.

As a newly minted 50 year old, I have to say, I feel a little uncomfortable being in the sweetsop of the intended audience for this show. Russell is age-appropriate eye-candy and the show definitely leans into that fact. I feel seen, as they say.

I say this because the show what I, a 50 year old male, want from my entertainment. It’s interesting, thought provoking and has a hard-charging attractive middle-aged woman as its lead.

But, unto itself, the show is pretty cool. I can’t complain — for once. It’s maybe not as edgy as Fleabag or as much comfort food as Mare of Easttown, but, in general, it definitely provides solid entertainment.

I haven’t rolled my eyes once yet. That is saying something for me. I am notorious for having such high storytelling standards that I walk out of movies at the drop of a hat.

Anyway. It’s just the first episode. Let’s see how things go.

‘The Rumor’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

This is a totally baseless rumor as far as I can tell, but I’ve had a bit to drink, so I will share what I saw on a very dubious Tik-Tok some time ago: there may be a Kamala Harris sex tape.

I’m sure this is total, complete bullshit. But just the idea that one MIGHT exist is enough to give me a serious case of hives because as today’s abrupt and unexpected firing of Tucker Carlson today proves — we may be entering a very strange election cycle.

My fears about this totally untrue rumor go something like this — Biden shuffles off this mortal coil between now and election day 2024. Harris becomes POTUS and she’s forced to resign because we all see her doing the nasty. The rumor I heard is she does it with her old beau Montel Williams. Anyway, THEN, we end up with a President MacCarthy.

It would be a head spinning series of events.

Again, I think all of this is total bullshit. But it definitely would make a lot of sense if it did exist. Harris is a very attractive woman and she seems like she was something of a wild child in her younger days.

I still believe the 2024 presidential cycle is shaping up to be completely fucking bonkers in ways that none of us could possible imagine.

Is Tucker Carlson Going To Run For President ?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The firing of Tucker Carlson by Fox News has the potential to be far more historic than you might think. The way is cleared for Carlson to run for president in 2024. He apparently hates Trump and what better way to get his revenge than to cockblock Trump’s fascist dreams?

And, yet, Carlson is a coward and a bully — a total chickshit — so it seems possible that he’ll just pop up on NewsMax and that will be that. But the absolute stranglehold that Carlson has on the MAGA base is rivaled only by the big olde orange ding-dong himself Trump.

As such, Carlson has the means, motive and opportunity to run for — and win — the presidency in 2024. Carlson is everything that the MAGA base thought they were going to get with Trump but didn’t get because he’s a lazy idiot. Of course, Carlson doesn’t have any practical governing experience so, lulz, he probably will be a total disaster like Trump, but he’s young enough that he could definitely learn on the job.

Do I think Carlson will run?

Probably not. There’s too much money to be made being a NewsMax talking head. But the next few months could be very…interesting. It’s a least possible that the 2024 election will be far, far more unpredictable and unstable than any of us could have possibly predict.

I’m getting a strong 1860 vibe off of 2024. Though, I have to admit that I’m beginning to think all my hysterical predictions about a civil war are just that — “hysterical doom shit.” I think we’ll just get a Republican POTUS and slip gradually, and peacefully, into a Russian-style autocracy.

Day 24: Things Fall Apart

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The very thing I was worried would happen, has happened — as I’ve entered the first half of the second act, things have begun to unravel. But, thankfully, not so much that I feel any sort of existential dread.

My dream title for my first novel. (Don’t think I’ll get permission to use it, though.)

It’s not like I’m going to have to re-write or re-think the entire novel’s structure like has happened before — repeatedly. I do think, however, that I’m going to have to use whatever slack I have in my timetable to just chill out for a day or so.

Instead of pressuring myself to write as fast as I can, I need to read, watch TV and movies and do a lot of “power thinking” involving staring up at the celling and contemplating life. We’re entering the part of the year where things zoom past, so if I’m not careful it will be august and I will STILL be at the very beginning of the novel.

I’ve vowed to myself not to let that happen.

So, my turn around is going to be pretty tight.

I’m not going to pause things for much more than a few days. But the story IS getting a lot better. And as it gets better, the number of scenes I have to either create new out of whole cloth or have to totally re-write grows. Which, of course, slow things down.

But I do think there is a good chance that I can still make my July 4th deadline. Once that happens, of course, things will be out of my hands. I will have to struggle to figure out how to get Beta Readers to actually…read. And THEN I have to see if I can save up for a manuscript editor…and THEN I have to start the querying process.

All of this will be happening in the context of a looming “perfect storm” of Petite Singularity and Fourth Turning happening together in late 2024, early 2025.

But dreaming is free. You have to have hope. You have to keep going.

Day 23: Entering The Second Act

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The hope is that now that I’ve wrapped up the first act of the second draft, that things should go much, much faster. I now have the foundation of the novel established. As such, I should be able to move a lot faster.

I hope.

I will note, however, that usually what happens — at least in the past — is when I reach this type of milestone, everything collapses and I have to start all over again for some reason.

But I just don’t have the time allotted to do such a thing. Though if I have to, I might still do it.

And, yet, I hope that doesn’t happen. I’m feeling pretty good about the novel, all things considered, other than a lingering fear that I’ll wake up tomorrow (or the next day) and some project will be announced that steals a march on me to the point that I have to pivot to something else.

Ugh.

But that’s just a professional hazard, I’m afraid. Those are things out of my control. All I can do is keep my head down and work on what I have power over. If I worry all the time about things I have no control over, then I won’t get anything done.

Again, as I’ve mentioned before, I think some of those fears are just “first time mother jitters.” And, if all else fails, I have a few other projects I could piviot to if the absolute worst happened. (Hopefully, it won’t.)

Onward to the second act!