by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
Instead of ranting about my usual “hysterical doom shit,” let’s pause to reflect the most important news of the day — Taylor Swift allegedly breaking up with Joe Alwyn.
H/T The Mirror
The thing about Tay-Tay is she is not only an aspirational figure for millions of women around the globe, she is also the exact center of Western pop culture. So, whatever might happen because of this breakup could have some significant pop culture implications.
Off the top of my head, I can’t help but think about how Tay-Tay isn’t getting any younger and, as such, she might start to be on the prowl for a husband-father-to-her-children type guy.
Or, alternately, she might decide to go through her “slut era” and be really aggressive dating a lot of different guys — and women? — before she finally settles down again. I mean, hell, if Emrata can date a string of high profile dudes during a few short months, so can Tay-Tay. (I find this potential scenario very, very dubious.)
And I doubt that Tay-Tay would totally freak out and date Pete Davidson, as much she might like to take a walk on the wild side like that. Her fanbase would explode into tears of Tay-Tay dated a bad boy like Pete Davidson. Or, heck, if she was even seen in his general vicinity anytime soon.
Alternately, if Tay-Tay wanted to placate a certain small, but vocal part of her fanbase, she would date Cara Delevingne, who was already a member of Tay-Tay’s “squad.” That would be one way to keep her name in the public eye a really mind-blowing manner.
But given what little I know about Tay-Tay’s preferences, she will probably pick a safe soy-boy like dude who is non-threatening just like Alwyn. But I will note that Tay-Tay makes no bones about being a sexual being — at least in her music — so it’s within the realm of possibility that she might freak out in some way and do something really interesting and thought provoking with her love life.
All I ask is whatever she does, she releases a rock album because of the experience.
