by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
I know things are getting a lot better with this novel because I’m feeling an overpowering urge to “shut up and write.” And I would do that, but for the fact that I’m 100% extroverted and can’t help myself — generally, I talk and write about whatever is rolling around in my head.
And for some time now, working on my first novel has been at the very forefront of my mind. So, here we are.
I continue to be uneasy about how literary types seem to think I’m drunk crank idiot. I can’t help who I am — but I can tell a good to great story. And, as such, they should judge my work on its merits, not on how much of a crank they think I am.
But that’s not how the real world works, I’m afraid.
I also worry about being “canceled” for my wasted, dissipated youth, especially what I was up to in South Korea all those years ago. I didn’t really do anything TOO bad, but given how fragile everyone is these days, I can’t help but worry that what I think isn’t all that bad will be viewed as the end of my career even before it’s even begun.
And, yet, the overarching issue is this novel gives me some direction in life. It gives me something to believe in. I am generally pretty delusional and for once I’m able to use that tendency towards delusion to actually work towards a concreate goal.
If I manage to pull off writing a novel good enough that it can actually be seen as something that I could successfully query to a professional literary agent, well, that, unto itself would make all this hard work worthwhile.
