Month: October 2022

Now, To Flesh Out The Second Novel

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Absolutely no one has any faith in my ability to pull of a six novel project. Pretty much everyone would prefer that I just shut up about anything creative and never be seen again. It definitely seems as though everyone I know would prefer I lie in bed in a dark bedroom and twiddle my thumbs while I stare at the ceiling. Even though that would probably make a lot of people happy — that’s just not my style.

So, here I am, determined to flesh out the second novel in a proposed six novel project before I’ve even finished the first draft of the first book. But my literary hero finished — and sold — three novels (before dropping dead), so I’m self-assured enough to believe I can top him by not only writing and selling six novels but somehow managing not to drop dead as part of the process.

I am now mulling the plot of the second novel. At the moment, all I know for sure is the plot is based on the conceit that someone has abducted a baby. That’s it. Everything else is up in the air. But the fun of being at this point of the process — development — is being forced to be creative, to think up plot points to fill up a lot of blank space.

And the key thing of all of this is hopefully, in the macro scheme of things, the reader will be even more endered to the baby that will ultimately grow up to be my American homage to Lisbeth Salander. That, at least, is the dream. It is going to be interesting to see if I can pull this off. I’m pretty sure I can, but the uncertainty and the creative challenge associated with it is something to keep me moving forward.

A huge amount could go wrong — with the biggest issue looming in my mind is the idea that the United States may, gulp, have a civil war of some sort in late 2024, early 2025.

As for this second novel itself, one of the biggest things I’ve learned about development is how fluid things can be. I have a real problem with word count and I’ve come up with what is at the moment a very tight timeframe for when events in this second novel take place. But, like I said, everything is very much up in the air and who knows what they will look like once I’m finished.

But a lot is going to hinge on selling the first novel in the series. That is going to open a lot of doors for me should it happen, even though everyone thinks I’m a drunk crank that they refuse to take seriously.

I May Actively Begin Work On The Second Novel In This Six Book Project

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I have long wanted a “second creative tract” that I could turn to while I work on this first novel. I keep seeing the collection of paperwork associated with the other five novels in this proposed six novel series and now that I’m well on my way to wrapping up the first novel, I think I’m going to take a serious look at the second novel.

Now, obviously there is a huge risk — if I invest all my energy in this six novel project and I can’t even sell the first book, then, well, I’m kind of fucked. But I am reminded that Stieg Larsson sold three novels (right before he dropped dead, natch) so I definitely am interested in seeing if I can replicate his success without the dropping dead part.

I continue to be interested in a number of other possible creative second tracts, from screenwriting to fashion photography. But I also like the idea of being able to work within an existing universe without having to think up new characters, canon, etc.

And, as my father likes to say — no one ever got anywhere in this world without taking a risk. I feel I have a really, really strong concept with the first novel in the project, to the point that I’m comfortable working on the next book in the series before I finish and sell the first book.

Besides, I have six proposed books, if something happens and I find my self stymied with the second book, I can always bounce to a different book in the other parts of the series and flesh them out, instead. But I really do like the idea that I have a lot of creative wiggle room to go to a different point in the overarching story as my mood directs me.

At least, that’s the plan.

I still have a lot of work to do on this first novel, including doing a lot of additional reading to take things to the next level. But the general infrastructure exists.

I’m finally feeling pretty good that after all my hard work the last few years that I’m at least getting to the end of the beginning and can now start to enter the process of working on the other five imagined novels.

My Hot Take On Mastodon

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Many moons ago, I briefly used the would-be Twitter alternative Mastodon, which features “toots” instead of ‘tweets.” It went into the my use of the service with a lot of enthusiasm because the service is distributed, using a concept much like the UUCP of Usenet back in the day.

I quickly soured on Mastodon for a number of reasons. One is, at that point, at least, it was literally impossible to delete your account if the mood so struck you. Also, I found the services “trigger warning” feature was abused by “woke” people who seemed determined make your life hell if you didn’t hide ANYTHING that THEY found objectionable.

It was all so subjective, that you just couldn’t please everyone and yet you also made all the woke people mad because you didn’t know whatever the orthodox they had in their mind about whatever thing you “tooted” that they didn’t like for some personal, obscure reason.

I eventually left the service after just a few days, never to be seen again. It should not be this hard to come up with at Twitter alternative. If I can think up a really strong candidate, I’m sure some Tech Bro can, too.

‘I Drink Whiskey’ — #lyrics to a #pop #rock #ballad

Here you go. I’m drunk enough that I find myself writing lyrics as a form of mental masturbation.

I Drink Whiskey
lyrics by @sheltgarner
Please give credit if you produce or perform

don’t know what to tell you
when the mood strikes me
it can be sublime
I don’t drink wine
nor whine if I drink beer
but in a pinch no matter what
I always drink whiskey

whiskey has a kick
that I feel in my gut
I drink whiskey it’s true
what else am I going to do
but drink whiskey, drink whiskey
drink whiskey

my mind is racing
thinking of you naked
maybe if you drink with me
we’ll have a tumble between the sheets
something we’ll both regret
who knows though
a baby may come of it

whiskey has a kick
that I feel in my gut
I drink whiskey it’s true
what else am I going to do
but drink whiskey, drink whiskey
drink whiskey

(bridge)
I try to stay sober
I really do no matter what
but when you leer at me
and say you’re feeling saucy
I know what will cause some audacity

whiskey has a kick
that I feel in my gut
I drink whiskey it’s true
what else am I going to do
but drink whiskey, drink whiskey
drink whiskey

At The Midpoint (Again)

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m yet AGAIN at the midpoint of an attempted first draft of my first novel. I’m feeling pretty good with this version, however, because barring something I can’t predict, I will be on track to wrap up the second draft in spring 2023. Then I use a few months to go through the beta reader process. Then, hopefully, I query during the fall 2023 querying season.

That, at least, is the plan at the moment.

A lot — and I mean A LOT — could go wrong. But I have hope, which is one of the key reasons why I started this project in the first place. I have something to look forward to and something to be actively delusional about.

But I’m now working on fleshing out the outline for the second half of the novel and things are getting “spicy.” But with that “spiciness” there comes a lot of risk, too. Just because most of the audience will probably dig the interesting turn of events I’ve come up with, doesn’t mean that somehow, some way the more “woke” part of the audience won’t pitch a fucking fit that a middle age CIS white male would be writing about such things. The horror!

And, yet, I think despite that danger, I’ve come up with a page turner. The second draft I’m going to focus on the following: improving characterizations, trimming word count and making the story darker and more serious.

Like I said, though, at the moment, things are going really well. My goal of writing an “old brown shoe” for someone who likes Stieg Larsson’s work is coming to fruition in a way I’m very pleased with. It’s just taken far, far, far longer to get to this point than I could have possibly have imagined when I began.

The Apocalypse On The Brain

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I have often joked that if The End came, I would either be the first person to die as darkness fell or I would survive and be the guy who brought civilization back. And I still think that as it definitely seems the possibility of an epic collapse is now greater than zero.

But what would the collapse look like?

It seems to me that there are a number of different ways I might find myself being a lonely figure walking down the middle of an abandoned highway, looking for sustenance. At the moment, we have nuclear war, civil war and maybe another pandemic as possible reasons while modern human civilization might collapse in a rather abrupt manner.

With all the talk of a “dirty bomb” being used as a false flag by the Russians against the Ukrainians, that particular apocalyptic scenario writes itself. Things go boom, things escalate and the next thing you know I’m grateful that I live in a rural area. A nuclear war of some sort is probably the nastiest of how the world might end because it would take a lot longer for humanity to bounce back if you take into account Nuclear Winter.

Meanwhile, there is the possibility of a Second American Civil War. This is by far, the most likely of the scenarios I can think of. If I had the means, I would already be living as an expat somewhere, never to return to America. But I’m a Poor, so I’m stuck here while we careen towards the existential choice of autocracy, civil war or military junta. Given that if the United States implodes that WW3 is probably going to happen along with it, things are probably going to get pretty messy globally in late 2024 – early 2025 if the United States has some sort of secession crisis when Blues attempt to leave the Union.

The last way I can think of that I might find myself fending for my life in a post-apocalyptic America would be another pandemic, but this time one that was far, far worse. The Big One, if you will. If I managed to survive, then I would have to search for food and shelter while I looked for others like me. This is the most speculative of the three possible scenarios.

Regardless, I definitely find myself thinking about shit like this these days. I would prefer not to have to go through any of it. I have six novels I’d like to write and get published.

America Is Ripe For Fascism

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

As I often say, politically, I’m the red headed stepchild of my family. Everyone else in my family is a bedrock Traditional conservative. Even though I hate talking politics with them now, I still find myself doing it and, as such, I use them as an impromptu focus group.

They key takeaway is — Traditionalists no longer believe in democracy. They’re primed and ready for the United States to transition into an autocratic, illiberal democracy like they have in Hungary or Turkey. And, as long as the transition is peacefully, they probably wouldn’t mind all that much if we ended up somewhere closer to Russia or Nazi Germany.

That’s because, from what I can tell, my relatives have only two red lines — violence and the personal. So, yeah, if MAGA freaked out and there was violence in the streets on their part, my relatives might have some pause for thought as our democracy was strangled. But as long as the transition is peaceful — lulz.

The other red line is, well, me.

So, my relatives — whom I love dearly — are looking forward to living an autocratic white Christian ethnostate because then, at last, they won’t have to worry about having their life ruined — canceled — simply because they’re conservative. They think my personal fears about fascists using hard power against me once we’re an autocracy are hysterical and ridiculous.

But we do turn into an autocracy, all bets are off. None of our rights — even freedom of speech — will be off the table. And, given my tendency to get drunk and rant in bars, it’s within the realm of possibility that at some point after 2025 I could very well get drunk, start to rant about how I think our Very American Autocrat can suck my dick and before you know it…my relative’s red line will be crossed.

Of course, it could be too late — I could be dead in a ditch somewhere at the hand of an ICE agent who was tipped off about my rant.

But at least my relatives won’t have to worry about being canceled, huh?

I’m Pleased With The State of My First Novel

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m just about to enter the second half of this first draft of my first novel. I’ve repeatedly gotten to this point in the past, only for something to go wrong and the whole thing fall apart. But I’m hoping that I can get to the end of this first draft without too much trouble.

The second half of the second act, called “the bad guys closing in” part of the story is when the stakes and the tension are supposed to get amped up. I have a few interesting situations concocted for this portion of the novel that I think will keep people reading. I’m doing all of this in a vacuum, so, lulz, I honestly have no idea if any of this is any good.

All I have is my gut.

And I’m really pleased with what I’ve come up with for the third and final act. As I keep saying, however, there is a potentially existential problem with the novel — it’s just too many words.

But I’ve vowed to myself that with this first novel that I’m not going to worry about length. The point is to just get the story down and once I start to work on the second draft — the one that beta readers will actually read — THEN I can start to worry about word count.

If I manage to cut this novel down to about 100,000 words, then it really is going to go by at a pretty fast clip. There’s not going to be much fat on it, that’s for sure. But I’ve given this whole thing a lot of thought and I don’t really have any extra characters — any paring back of wordcount will probably come from combining and compressing scenes with the general structure staying in tact.

At least, that’s what I hope.

Anyway, at the moment, absolutely no one believes in me or this project. I can’t even pay people to help me with this novel. It will be interesting to see how bumpy the beta reader process will be because everyone apparently thinks I’m a drunk crank.

Use Case For My Proposed Twitter Replacement: The New York Times Reporter & Breaking News

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

So, what would it be like for a power user of my little daydream social media platform? Let’s take the example of, say, a reporter for The New York Times. She would use Groups set to “Personal” for her private interaction with friends. There would be a Group for high school friends, a group for college friends, etc. And there could also be even more specific Groups for even more specific types of people in her life over the years.

But let’s get to the public element of this service.

Our hot shot New York Times reporter learns that there is big breaking news coming out of Washington. She, like a few dozen other high end content creators on the service, creates a public Group devoted to that specific event, with only a limited number of users having the right to post.

A heated discussion about this breaking new erupts and huge number of threads are created devoted to different elements of the event. In fact, the first Group she created — even with a limited number of people being able to post to it — has grown so huge and rambunctious that our reporter is forced to create three new, more specific Groups devoted to the breaking news.

But cause she has a full page to work with, she’s able to essentially write a New York Times-branded news article directly into the service. You might even figure out some sort of profit sharing agreement whereby the profits from the ads sold on her Posts would be split between the paper and the social media platform.

What’s more, as the crisis continued, our reporter pinged three of her co-workers at the paper and they hold a four way, live video conferencing discussion about what is known — and not known — about what is going on, with people being able to debate in real time what their talking about.

Anyway, all of this is just a daydream. But an intriguing one.

What Star Wars Fans Want

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It seems pretty clear to me what Star Wars fans want from the franchise. First, what they REALLY want is their youth back. They want that sense of wonder that came with seeing the Star Wars or Empire Strikes Back for the first time in theatres. All of their complaints about modern Star Wars says more about them and their angst about growing older than it does the art that is Star Wars.

Anyway, it occured to me today that there is a solution to the perplexing issue of how to make a good Star Wars movie — call it the Top Gun: Maverick option. This seems to me the only way to produce a good Star Wars movie and, yet, given Disney is fucking greedy and not run by people who aren’t fans of Star Wars….it’s highly unlikely that it will happen.

There are two reasons why gong the Top Gun: Maverick route for the next Star Wars movie won’t happen.

One, is Disney is greedy and wants to sell toys. So they will do anything to cram as many potential toys into the movies because they see any Star Wars movie is just one big add for the toys that go along with it.

Meanwhile, the other problem, call it the “woke” problem, isn’t going to go away for Star Wars because the franchise is so huge that Disney simply can not resist the temptation to throw in A Message to indoctrinate the little forming minds of all those tykes who will be looking for Star Wars action figures for Chrismas.

But if you somehow pry Disney away from these two issues and just give fans A Star Wars Movie just like Top Gun: Maverick is just A Movie, then I think it would be a huge success. You would have to do the “transgressive” act of having a male lead who saves a princess from the forces of evil using the force. Just be sure that you don’t fall into having to figure out how to blow up YET ANOTHER Death Star.

Please, Disney, be a little bit more original going forward.