Month: February 2022

‘Vibe Shift’ — #Lyrics To A #Pop Song

This one is dumb, but I thought “Vibe Shift” sounded like a pop song title, so here you go.

Vibe Shift
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
please give credit if you produce or perform

here it comes a time of change
get ready I tell you it’s here
we’re going to have difference in view
something to make us feel better
it’s going to be a
vibe shift
vibe shift
vibe shift

things change its true

vibe shift
vibe shift

but the more they change
the more they stay the same
vibe shift
vibe shift
vibe shift

I’m ready to hold your hand
when we enter this new age
our eyes and hearts wide open
when love is easier to come by
because of a
vibe shift
vibe shift
vibe shift

(bridge)
no need to look back
don’t keep your head in the past
it’s time, it’s true
for you to look past the present
to the future

things change its true

vibe shift
vibe shift

but the more they change
the more they stay the same
vibe shift
vibe shift
vibe shift

I’m ready to hold your hand
when we enter this new age
our eyes and hearts wide open
when love is easier to come by
because of a
vibe shift
vibe shift
vibe shift

I’m Feeling Nervous About How Unstable Kanye West Is — Are Kim Kardashian & Pete Davidson In Danger?


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m old enough to remember the Trial of the Century, which is one of the main reasons why we even know who Kim Kardashian is in the first place. But I’m growing alarmed that Something Bad might happen between Kanye West, Pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian.

Like, Trial of the Century Part Deux bad.

Just take a look at this:

It definitely seems as though Ye’s mental health issues are growing sufficiently unstable that things may take a dark turn in a tragic and unexpected manner. In a manner that will have us all talking for a long, long, long time to come.

But, I’m notorious for getting ahead of my skiis, for daydreaming in a very conspicuous manner and speculating about stupid shit I have no business speculating on.

I’m sure that this is just a blip. And, yet, Ye has the means, motive and opportunity to hurt himself and others in a very horrific manner. We can only hope this won’t happen and I’m being “hysterical” with “doom shit” like everyone accuses me of when it comes to other, political, things.

‘Sexual Anarchy’ — #Lyrics To A #Pop #Song

This uses the beat to Republica’s “Ready To Go.” But a good producer could probably get rid of that echo. This one is pretty good.

Sexual Anarchy
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
Please give credit if you produce or perform

sexual anarchy

sexual anarchy

mass chaos all around
what can I say
not going to fret
this is my shit
when there are no rules
I’m ready for you to

go where there are no rules
sexual anarchy
go where there are no rules
sexual anarchy
be ready to party all night long
sexual anarchy
sexual anarchy
sexual anarchy

people want to give me grief
tell me I’m too slow on my feet
but I know the truth
I’m going to give everyone the slip
when it’s just you and me enjoying
sexual anarchy

I’m ready for you to

go where there are no rules
sexual anarchy
go where there are no rules
sexual anarchy
be ready to party all night long
sexual anarchy
sexual anarchy
sexual anarchy

(bridge)
you want to keep things calm
don’t want to rock the boat
but you’re wrong on this one
we’re all ready for a little

sexual anarchy

I’m ready for you to

go where there are no rules
sexual anarchy
go where there are no rules
sexual anarchy
be ready to party all night long
sexual anarchy
sexual anarchy
sexual anarchy

go where there are no rules
sexual anarchy
go where there are no rules
sexual anarchy
be ready to party all night long
sexual anarchy
sexual anarchy
sexual anarchy

Russo-Ukrainian Winter War Scenarios


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

War
At the moment, it seems as though there’s going to be a major war in Europe. It hasn’t happened yet, so it still may not. It’s possible that a huge chunk of Ukraine will be eaten by Russia and a lot of people will die needless deaths. Along the way, the Ukrainian government might collapse.


Peace In Our Time
In this scenarios, we barely avert war because the Ukrainians give in to the Russian demands. But folding on the part of the Ukrainian government leads to a popular revolt within the citizenship and…and the government collapses, which given the Russians the excuse they need to…invade Ukraine.

This is All A Flex
It’s still possible that Putin is doing all of this just to fuck with us and rather than pulling the trigger one way or the other, he draws down his forces as suddenly as he built them up and we, thankfully, move on to something else.

The MAGA New Right Sure Is Chomping At The Bit To Start Political Violence, Aren’t They?


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

So, my Traditionalist relatives have, on occasion, asked me if I forswear political violence. Which is both dumb and insulting. Of course I’m against political violence! Jesus Christ!

The fact that the MAGA New Right is chomping at the bit to start a civil war makes this question even more idiotic. Even a Traditionalist who has “tuned out” from politics should know by now that there are a number of conservative thought leaders who really, really, want an excuse to murder people like me in cold political blood.

So, instead of worrying about ME wanting political violence, I think my Traditionalist relatives need to get their own home in order. Or is that just “bogus?” For those of you who aren’t into debate nullification when you’re losing, just look at what’s going on with Canada’s trucker crisis.

That crisis is going to come to the US soon enough. And, as I understand it, March 3rd — for some reason — could be some sort of successor to January 6th. I don’t know the details, but that’s what I’m seeing on Twitter. This is a developing and potentially very unstable situation. It could be like January 6th, only much, much worse.

Anyway. We need to be aware that the MAGA New Right may very well force the issue. The question then will be is how receptive people are to fucking shit up when the MAGA New Right decides to see if they can bring down the government through a General Strike or some such. (Especially in the context of this potentially happening — and working — in Canada.)

And the craziest part of all of this is if they would just be peaceful and patient, they could get everything — and I mean everything — they wanted through peaceful political means. Everything is there. All they have to do is just not blow it all by starting a civil war.

And, yet, here we are.

I’m going back to the five novels I’m working on that no one in my family cares about — they won’t even read anything I write even when I ask them to!

My Hot Take On An Impending Russo-Ukrainian Winter War


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Welp. Apparently we’ve been given our 48 hour warning for a Russo-Ukrainian Winter War. It’s probably going to happen — if it does happen — at some point between now and no later than February 15 (probably the 14th).

First, we have to prepare ourselves for American civilian expats to come home in body bags. I’m assuming there are too many of them to leave in time. And there’s a chance that the entirety of Ukraine will go tits up soon after any invasion begins. So, there’s that to think about.

And, remember, the moment a war starts, everything in the United States will be thrown up in the air because there is a finite amount of air in the public sphere for attention. So, in a sense, Trump might escape AGAIN simply because we’re so busy thinking about 5 million Ukrainian refugees that we don’t have time to worry about his bullshit.

Or something.

And now, in just the last little bit, we’ve learned there is some confusion coming out the US government as to what, exactly, is going to happen. What I think is happening is Biden told allies he thinks Putin has made up his mind and that promptly leaked out. Meanwhile, the rest of the government is publicly saying Putin HASN’T made up his mind in hopes of preventing the whole thing having an air of inevitability to it.

I would, however, suggest you keep Twitter and CNN / MSNBC close for the next few days. Go time will probably be in the 6:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. EST time frame, whatever day it does — or doesn’t happen.

‘Hysterical Doom Shit:’ Of Trump & Classified Documents



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It takes a lot more than it did for Trump to make me angry. And my Traditionalists relatives think I’m being “hysterical” for thinking Trump is going to run again — especially if he gets into serious legal trouble — so, meh. Their only red line is personal when it comes to Trump — and by personal, I mean me dead in a ditch at the hands of ICE. THEN, and only THEN they will get upset about what an autocrat Trump is.

Then I’ll be dead.

And I won’t be “hysterical” anymore because I’ll be dead.

Fuck that, by the way.

Anyway, the news that Trump did on a massive scale exactly what Hillary Clinton was accused of when it came to classified documents enrages me. Makes me white hot with rage. Makes me pop a gasket with rage. Makes me want to throw myself into the five novels that no one in my family cares about. (That was the point of writing the novels in the first place — to give myself some outlet for my center-of-the-sun-rage over the Trump Administration.)

What makes me so angry is every argument that my Traditionalists relatives would make to knee-jerk defend Trump because they hate my politics could be used to defend Hillary Clinton in 2016. But any argument that I make that works too well is “bogus.”

The thing that makes all of this worse is, in the end, Trump’s eating of classified documents, his flushing them down the toilet, will only last less than one news cycle. So, Hillary’s “but her emails” lasted for months and months and months and Trump doing far, far worse is just a blip on the media scene.

I do have one question — what, exactly, were the nature of the classified documents Trump wanted to keep? Was he stealing specific documents that had to do with Russia, Ukraine, the DPRK or the Saudis? If any of those nations were involved, well, that takes the controversy to the next level.

Then it will be promptly forgotten. Trump runs again, (“No he won’t,” I hear you say.) wins and I get to be hysterical and peddling doom shit again.

Oh well.

The Possibility Of Seoul Expat Life Interpolation In ‘I Want You Back’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I am so spooked by the publicity stills from the upcoming romcom “I Want You Back” that I’m beginning to think that either one of the screenwriters or one of the producers was, at some point, an expat in Seoul.

The only reason why this isn’t Nori’s women’s bathroom is the real Nori’s women’s bathroom has just one room and is across from an even more gross men’s bathroom.

And maybe even was a regular at Nori Bar in Sinchon where I used to DJ. This is both cool and rattling. It’s cool because expats in South Korea represent! It’s rattling because I’m doing a huge amount of similar interpolation in these five novels I’m working. (That no one in my family cares about.)

It’s one of those things where it’s not like I have a monopoly on the expat experience. And it’s getting pretty damn close to being 20 years since I got to South Korea the first time in 2004. So, I just have to accept that someone had the same I idea I had, in a vague way.

But as anyone who’s ever been an expat in South Korea can tell you — the place is a goldmine of creativity and human drama.

Wait, What, ‘I Want You Back’ Features A Noraebang Scene?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Wait a second…

I feel like someone who has lived in South Korea as an expat is digging into experiences I’ve gone through and it’s making me nervous. The above picture from “I Want You Back” is a prime example — that could be me and Annie Shapiro way back when.

The two protagonists are drinking soju (straight from the bottle!) and OB, both of which are fixtures of expat life in South Korea. I think maybe the characters are doing this in LA’s Koreatown — that would make the most sense — but it is eerie.

Then there’s THIS picture. It took me a double take to make sure it wasn’t set at Nori in Seoul.

Could it be that someone was an expat in Seoul (or somewhere in South Korea) then decided to interpolate those experiences in LA’s Koreatown? Spooky, spooky, spooky.

The only reason why I know the above ISN’T at Nori is the layout of the women’s bathroom is all wrong.

Anyway. We’ll see, I guess.

I just wish someone in my family genuinely cared about MY creative aspirations and didn’t just give them lip service so they didn’t feel bad for not caring about me.

My Inevitable Stieg Larsson Endgame

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Given how absolutely no one in my family gives a shit about the most important thing in my life — these five novels — it’s all but inevitable that I will sell these thrillers then promptly drop dead, leaving my family a fortune.

Or something. Typically, my life takes the most ironic route.

I’ve long given up trying to get my family’s attention about these thrillers. They promise to read what I’m writing — the promptly don’t. They ask the occasional question, but they’re all so busy with their own families and lives that they just can’t summon up the energy to do what you would think would be basic family love things like, uh, read what I’m writing.

But, no harm no foul.

I hope they enjoy the money when I’m six feet under.