A ‘Don’t Look Up’ Best Picture Win Would Be The Ultimate Triumph of ‘Woke Hollywood’



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Let me be clear — I’m very much willing to bend over backwards to give Don’t Look Up good press. It’s message is dear to my heart. The problem is, the movie itself sucks.

And, yet, here I am, listening to Vanity Fair’s Oscar podcast and they’re saying that Don’t Look Up could very well be in the running to win Best Picture. I get it. It makes sense. But, God, on a storytelling basis did that move suck. And, no, I haven’t gotten around to watching is all the way through yet.

I think some of that comes from how out of synch my expectations for the movie was. I went into it blind and I had some vague notion that it might be a modern day Network dealing with global climate change. But it just seemed way too busy sucking its own cock to be a Network-level movie. It was just annoying and irritating and I totally agree with its message.

What I saw of it was just too over the top. It seems to be trying too hard. It was too eager to make A Statement that it lost sight of telling a cogent, great story. If Don’t Look Up was a modern day Blue State Network, then I would love it and defend it against the slings and arrows of MAGA dipshits.

But, sadly, Don’t Look Up was just A Bad Movie on a storytelling level. It’s just irritating on a storytelling basis. It was all over the place, to the point that I didn’t care about the characters and didn’t want to watch it to the end despite being very receptive to its message. If it gets Best Picture despite that, then Woke Culture will really have flexed its power to the point that it will make me roll my eyes.

The thing about Network is it’s timeless. It’s such a great story that you could release it today and it would still be popular. Anyway, as I keep saying, I’m going to at least try to watch the movie all the way through and then re-reevaluate it.

My Storytelling Is Improving Dramatically


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

After a number of years of spinning my wheels, of wondering if I would drift in the middle of a creative sea forever, not to ever reach any sort of storytelling land, I finally have landed on something. (Talk about an extended metaphor!)
The point is — I’m now within shouting distance of at least being taken seriously by the gatekeepers.

I know this because I’m getting better at writing “sequels,” or the connector scenes that aren’t as flashy as as a scene. I’m getting pretty good at writing sequels, in fact. But I’m also just getting better in general.

My literary hero.

I’m very pleased. But one thing I have to do is get faster. I have four more novels to work on and hope to finish by the time I’m 50. And turning 50 is a lot closer to me than I dare think about. I just have to put the work in. I’m in a very unique situation where I can write a lot and that just can’t continue. All good things must come to an end and this will be no exception.

But ever once in a while I’ll finish writing something with this first novel and I’ll lean back and go to myself, “Uh, not bad.”

Because for way too long, whenever I asked someone to read my work, they gave me the worst insult possible — silence. But I think I’m getting ever so close to writing well enough that people will at least give me an opinion, any opinion about what I’ve written.

I’m trying to chill out for about 24 hours. I need to do something, anything other than obsessing over the first three chapters of the first book in a five novel series. I hope to come back to this first book with fresh eyes in about a day and hopefully, hopefully, both the development and writing will go smoother and faster.

Trump As America’s ‘Negative Yeltsin’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I continue to read a book about the rise of Hitler and Nazis and I have to admit that there are a lot of eerie parallels between Trump and Hitler. And, yet it’s the difference between them that I think are most telling.

While both men were underestimated by their opponents, the thing that is clear to me is that Trump is not the Great Man that Hitler was. Trump is nothing more than an avatar, a vassal for the rage of white Christians who are afraid of the browning of America. Trump is just himself. He doesn’t manage or direct the flow of history, he just rides it towards an unknown destination.

As such, it’s not Hitler I would compare Trump to, but rather a kind of negative Boris Yeltsin. Both men seek to destroy and they both cause a lot of chaos. Yeltsin brought about the peaceful destruction of the Soviet Union. So, too, could Trump ultimately do the same thing with the United States.

Trump, like Yeltsin, is paving the way for a successor who will ultimately be the real Man of History. So, if we manage not to buckle into civil war, it will be President Pompeo, or Cotton, or Cruz, or Flynn, or, Hawley or, or, or, or, or whoever ultimately becomes a very powerful, very long-lasting American autocrat. Whomever the autocrat ends up being, they will become fabulously wealthy and powerful.

The thing that has me on edge is I still can not game out which of the three possible outcomes the United States is going to take. Will we have a civil war, or turn into an autocracy or have some sort of military junta? I just don’t know. Logically, at the moment, we’re going to slip peacefully into autocracy because we’re already an autocracy without an autocrat.

And, in the end, when we do become an autocracy, at first things really won’t change. It will only be gradually that the autocrat will begin to abuse their now free reign to do whatever the fuck they want. And that’s when people like me will feel the direct effects of no longer living in a Western democracy, of living in an illiberal democracy.

I know this sounds like my usual “doom shit.” But something’s gotta give. There really are too many similarities between the Weimar Republic and modern America for us not to sit up and take notice. To realize how fucked we are. And we are really, really fucked.

Our political isn’t just collapsing — it’s collapsed. We’ve reached the point where two people who disagree politically can’t discuss matters of the day without screaming at each other. That’s just one step away from the two sides taking up arms and settling those issues on the field of blood.

So, while Trump definitely shares a lot of historical traits with Hitler, for the time being I don’t think he is our Hitler because I don’t think that’s the proper historical analogy. The proper comparison is the fall of the Soviet Union and the transition from Yeltsin to Putin. Someone is going to be an American Putin and THAT person is going to be the person that strangles American freedom and liberty once and for all.

Besides the whole autocracy or civil war question, the other question is — who will Trump pick to be his 2024 veep? He’s so dumb and always goes for the worst possible decision that I think it’s possible he’ll pick Mike Flynn. But I also think fucking cocksucker and fat fuck Mike Pompeo would definitely be someone that Trump would look hard at. Pompeo would quickly make life for loudmouth drunk cranks like me hell, especially when I won’t shut up about what a fat fuck he is.

But only time will tell, I guess.

Logically, Disney Will Hand The Simpsons Over To Pixar


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

We are fast approaching a moment when the first Mikey Mouse shorts will be in the public domain. I think 2024 will be it. So, logically, it would make a lot of sense for The House Of Mouse to become The House Of Simpsons.

No one listens to me.

What they should do is move all their Simpsons IP over to Pixar. The show should have been canceled a long, long, long time ago and Disney should bite the bullet and do just that. Then, after maybe five years, come back hard with a planned series of Pixar-produced Simpsons movies.

The Simpsons would be updated using the best of Pixar’s computer animation and storytelling. Then, every two years or so, there would be a Simpsons movie that would fuse the greatness of the Simpsons with the equal greatness of Pixar.

But, alas, absolutely no one listens to me.

A Movie Concept Dedicated To Bringing Fun Back To The Theatres



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I have a lot — A LOT — of movie ideas rolling around in my mind. One concept that I think someone, somewhere should do is kind of like “Battlestar Galactica 1980” meets Star Wars: A New Hope. The story would go something like this — it’s the modern day, when out of the blue a rag-tag group of space aliens fighting some sort of Galactic government swoop in and settle on the planet.

You would have all the archetypes of Star Wars, only set in the modern world with our modern technology. You would have all these exotic space aliens doing their thing among humans, all along with idea that the Galactic government might at any moment attack earth.

lulz. meh

And, if you really wanted to make things interesting, you do all of this in context of Red and Blue America, with Red America doubting everything and Blue American embracing all the aliens and preparing for a fight. Or something. Something like that.

But the point would be it there would be fun aliens and just an interesting story. No “woke” effort to sell a message or toys to little kids. Just a story about an Iowa farmboy who wants to save his girlfriend who is kidnapped and is now on the other end of the galaxy. Or something. You get the picture.

Absolutely no one listens to me, though. I can’t even get a 1,000 unique views for this site. So, meh.

America, The Tinderbox


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I believe the United States, the most powerful country in the world is careening towards destroying itself. And if that doesn’t happen, then we will become illiberal democracy on a par with modern day Hungry if we’re lucky and Russia if we’re not. In other words, the United States between now and January 2025 is either going to implode (illiberal democracy) or explode (civil war.)

I believe this because by all macro metrics the United States’ Second Republic is running on fumes. The system can not and will not work. Trumplandia is above the law, just like the Nazis were above the law in 1920s Germany. I continue to read a huge tome on the rise of the Nazis in the Weimar Republic and the similarities are chilling.

I keep talking about 2024 – 2025, when in fact we may not have to wait that long. Several events could force the issue and bring the United States to its knees sooner than expected. If either Trump shuffled off this mortal coil peacefully, that might be enough for the conspiracy crackpots of the MAGA New Right to agitate for State Secessionist Conventions. I’m not joking. That’s really possible.

Meanwhile, if it was BIDEN who shuffled off this mortal coil peacefully, then you can sure as hell bet that Speaker Trump becomes a far more likely reality and THAT would definitely probably push us into civil war because Speaker Trump would then be one heartbeat away from being POTUS again I could totally see Trump being so stupid as to go transactional at last and demand MAGA bring the country to its knees to force the Senate to convict President Harris.

And, if you really wanted to get dark about it — if there was any type of major domestic terror attack between now and January 2025, we’re all fucked. There would be a civil war, or severe, rolling political violence of some sort. Everyone is primed and ready to go at it with guns and shit because they hate everybody for political reasons.

But, as I keep saying, it’s possible that we’ll just slip peacefully into illiberal democracy, to autocracy. If that happens, then initially, nothing will change. White Christian Traditionalists will continue to chuckle about how people like me are “hysterical” because their Red Line is strictly personal. They will be quite content that we’re not longer a democracy because they will finally get what they want –white minority rule.

It won’t be until their loud mouth crank family member — that would be me — gets drunk and won’t shut up about how President Pompeo is a fat fuck no matter how skinny he gets and ICE swoops in to take me away will they finally, finally, FINALLY want to do something about our transition from democracy to autocracy.

Of course, for me, at least, by that point it will be way too late.

The point is — we’re fucked. We’re totally, completely fucked. Gird your loins for a bumpy, dark few years ahead of us.

These Five Novels Will Have A Lot of Heart


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’ve been doing a lot of writing today and I’m very pleased with what I’ve managed to come up with. These first few novels, as I keep saying, will have a lot to owe to Mare of Easttown. Even I am taken aback by how female-friendly from an audience perspective these novels may be. Or not. What the fuck do I know. I’m a middle aged white CIS male who should be neither seen nor heard.

But here we are, with me being my usual bonkers crank self, pontificating on shit I shouldn’t.

I’m working on the assumption that if I should actually manage to write the “break out” novel — which, in itself would be a miracle — that I will be canceled at some point soon after because my well documented views don’t always follow the media narrative. I believe what I believe and if you don’t like it, then fuck you. Wink.

But, like I said, I am pleased with how much heart these novels have. How much they at least try to accommodate the needs of the female audience. One thing I’m taken aback by is how this first novel is far, far more Mare of Easttown than the book that started all of this, The Girl Who Played With Fire.

At the moment, it really won’t be until the last two novels I’m working on, when we start what will hopefully be an open-ended thriller series, that the direct homage to Stieg Larsson’s work becomes obvious. But I have to make clear — I’m simply not as dark a write, by nature, as Larsson. I have used The Girl Who Played With Fire as my “textbook,” but it’s a real struggle for me to be as dark and serious as Larsson in, say, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.

Anyway. I’m going to throw myself into writing, reading and development this weekend. That, at least, is the plan.

Fuck this fucking storytelling “test.”

Cold Civil War: Why Americans Hate Each Other


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I saw a headline somewhere — I think it was Politico– which implied that the current cold civil war America is going through is about “nothing.” I totally disagree.

The reason Americans hate each other, at it’s core, is about a dearth of white babies. (I hope that doesn’t come across as racist. I just find it midly amusing to say “white babies” in this context. Also, do think that at its core, the reason Americans hate each other is Traditionalists, on a systemic basis, are afraid of losing power to POC.) America is a nation of immigrants and, as such, wave after wave of new types of people have refreshed the idea of what it means to be American over the years. Remember, Italians were not considered “white” until some point around the end of WW2.

Anyway, back to the white babies thing.

The writing on the wall is clear — white people are going to be in the minority within a few decades and that is freaking white Christian Traditionalists the fuck out. Throw in the huge, gaping differences in social views between urban and rural areas and the United States is ripe for collapse.

But the thing that is putting huge pressure on our political system is white Christian Traditionalists feeling a huge amount of insecurity about their place in American society. Ezra Klein’s book, “Why We’re Polarized” was a real eye opener about the origins of the current clusterfuck we find ourselves in.

So, far from being about “nothing” our cold civil war is definitely about something — power. This struggle over who has power in American politics because of the systemic racism of white Christian Traditionalists is bending our politics to a breaking point.

And, really, the Second American Republic is imploding so fast politically at the moment that I sometimes wonder if we’re going to even make it to the 2024 – 2025 timeframe. I believe America is an idea, not the autocratic concept of blood and soil. Yet people I know who should know better take it as gospel that the United States is not a democracy, but a “Constitutional Republic,” and, as such, fuck you lib.

Should Peter Navarro’s non-violent coup work in 2024, that really will be the moment our cold civil war may turn hot. When half the electorate thinks the United States is a democracy and half thinks its a Constitutional Republic and Trump becomes president via some of the more obscure elements of the Constitution, that’s a recipe for a hot civil war.

Or not. It could be that we slip peacefully into autocracy and that will be that. People like me will, inevitably, cross the autocrat and simply vanish. THEN the white Christian Traditionalists in my family will sit up and take notice because things will be personal for them.

But, by then, it will be too late for me.

‘Pete Davidson’ #Lyrics to a #Punk Song


I’ve done a punk song about Pete Davidson before, but he continues to be an interesting public figure, so I thought I’d try again. He seems perfect for a meta-punk song.

Pete Davidson
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
Please give credit if you produce or perform

he’s got a big cock I swear
he must to get the play he does
you already know his name I’m sure
see him on your TV set every Saturday
it’s

Pete Davidson
Pete Davidson
HEY!
HEY!
HEY!
Pete Davidson
Pete Davidson
Pete Davidson

things could be better
they could be worse
but keep your baby away
from Pete Davidson
’cause he’s got BDE
when the winter becomes the spring
he’ll be on the prowel
ready to steal your girl

Pete Davidson
Pete Davidson
HEY!
HEY!
HEY!
Pete Davidson
Pete Davidson
Pete Davidson

(bridge)
he’s sweet as can be
give your girl’s mom flowers
what can you do he might even
seduce you
’cause he’s Pete
Pete Davidson
HEY!
HEY!
HEY!

‘Free Woman Energy’ — #Lyrics to a #Pop #Rock Song

Just screwing around. This is a homage to Britney Spears saying she’s got “free woman energy” now. I find writing lyrics very relaxing and today has been a depressing day, so, lulz.
Free Woman Energy
lyrics by Shelt Garner

@sheltgarner
Please give credit if you produce or perform

she’s free now of the past
can make your own decisions
no one to tell her what to do
no longer a slave for you
’cause she’s got her papers
with

free wonman energy
never felt better
free woman energy
never felt better
she’s ready for the next step
free as can be
free as can be
free as can be

people wanted to keep her down
all they wanted was a frown
but things have changed
no doubt about it
she’s no longer under their thumb
she’s free as can be
no longer on the run

free wonman energy
never felt better
free woman energy
never felt better
she’s ready for the next step
free as can be
free as can be
free as can be

(bridge)
the past could come back
it’s always a risk
bondage could return
in the dead of night
but don’t you fret
she’ll return on a bet

to her
free woman energy
free woman energy
free woman energy
free woman energy