Just screwing around. The word “delusional” is an easy lyric writing prompt because it’s like so many other words syllable-wise. Delusional Lyrics by Shelt Garner @sheltgarner Please give credit if you perform or produce
Would it make me a crank If I looked at you and winked Know you’re out of my league But I’ll try my best Wear my heart on my sleave All I ask is you don’t call me Delusional Delusional Delusional
Delusional to think You could hold my hand in the street Delusional to believe You and I could be a thing Make others envious with your love All we have to do is give fate a shove
Baby, I’m as sane as can be You and I could be a fling One you’ll never forget it’s true What’s a girl like you to do When a guy like me bits his lip Thinking we can ship Just don’t call me Delusional Delusional Delusional
Delusional to think You could hold my hand in the street Delusional to believe You and I could be a thing Make others envious with your love All we have to do is give fate a shove
(bridge) Tell myself I need to be centered Keep things in reality But it’s tough as can be When I see a bit of your thigh When you in a skirt walk on by One day you’ll be mine Or am I being delusional
Delusional to think You could hold my hand in the street Delusional to believe You and I could be a thing Make others envious with your love All we have to do is give fate a shove
Just being silly. Paulina Porizkova’s talk about not being able to get laid because she hasn’t had any work done is the hook for this one. I just like writing poems that are intended to be sung.
Oh, Paula Lyrics by Shelt Garner @sheltgarner please give credit if you produce or perform
Oh, Paula hear me well You’re still a babe and swell Don’t let the boys give you grief Your body still leaves me weak I break my back when I see you Knowing you’re without a man
Oh, Paula You don’t have to roam Oh, Paula it’s a shame That you think you’re lame Oh, Paula Oh, Paula Oh, Paula
Wanna wake up with you Watch the sun rise Knowing the love that we have We’ll be lovers it’s true The kind that will make history You’ll be my muse And I’ll be your man
Oh, Paula You don’t have to roam Oh, Paula it’s a shame That you think you’re lame Oh, Paula Oh, Paula Oh, Paula
(bridge) Why are we both Separate and alone When we could be together With a kiss and a moan You’re a woman and I’m a man We can fill out the plan
Oh, Paula You don’t have to roam Oh, Paula it’s a shame That you think you’re lame Oh, Paula Oh, Paula Oh, Paula
I like to pride myself in having a fairly large vocabulary, so to learn that there is a word for what I’ve been calling the United States “an autocracy without an autocrat” gives me a word boner. I had no idea that the word “anocracy” was a thing, but, lulz ,it is.
I learned this word from Barbara F. Walters, who wrote a book I bought pre-release, “How Civil Wars Start.” It comes out on the 11th and I’m waiting with baited breath to read it. Anyway, being an “anocracy” is one of the preconditions of civil war — with you’re not a democracy yet not yet an autocracy.
Which perfectly sums up what the United States is at the moment.
I’m sure there’s a lot of political theory that explains in technical detail what a fucking clusterfuck in the United States finds itself in, but all I know is America is no longer a democracy at the moment. We’re living in a historical quirk caused by Trump not being a Great Man, but rather nothing more than an avatar, a vessel for white Christian fear and rage over the browning of America.
As I’ve said before, while I’m really looking forward to Ms. Walters book, I disagree with her on the nature of any coming Second American Civil War. She’s assuming that it will come from Reds who start some sort of rolling political violence like The Troubles of Northern Ireland. That only makes sense if, say, Trump peacefully shuffles off this mortal coil at some point between now and 2024.
But the MAGA New Right is ascendant and they would have no reason to do that if they are able to, through or through crook, get presidential power again in 2024. As such, it makes a lot more sense that if will be Blues, at the state level — probably starting with California — that will leave the Union and start a civil war.
Or not. The MAGA New Right is so popular, in real terms, that it’s possible that Trump — or whatever other autocrat gets the historical gig — will win fair and square and we don’t even put up a fight. We slip peacefully from anocracy into an illiberal autocracy.
At the moment, I don’t know which scenario is going to come true. It really could go either way. All I know, as I keep saying, is something’s gotta give. We can’t stay in this half-world of anocracy forever. This is the twilight of the Second American Republic.
The Second American Republic is on its last legs. The question is, do we have a civil war and found a Third American Republic, or do we just become, on a political basis, a clone of Russia?
Where to begin with this one. One of my first celebrity crushes was Paulina Porizkova. She was one of the first times in my life when I saw a woman and was like wow-we-wow-wow. And so, now, we hear that she’s having troubles finding a date because she hasn’t gotten any work done.
Paulina Porizkova
All I can say is, honey, give me a call.
You’re used to being a muse and I would definitely make you mine if you would hang out with me. You would have to lower your socio-ecomic standards significantly — or, maybe have none at all, but I promise, I PROMISE we would have a great time.
I’m a great conversationalist and I would make you the center of my creative life. But lulz, I’m being delusional. Wink.
I’m clearly not an expert on either Russia or Ukraine because I keep getting things wrong. But that doesn’t stop me from struggling to understand what the fuck is going on with the two nations at the moment.
Russia continues to build up troops around Ukraine to a level that it makes you think we’re going to have to imagine that Putin isn’t thinking just a simple smash and grab operation, but a general war. The reason why I can’t understand that this may be a real possibility is by every metric Russia could take a huge chunk of Ukraine, but it just couldn’t keep it.
Putin would be flirting with existential disaster long-term because even if the Ukrainian government sued for peace or collapsed the amount of partisans who would take it upon themselves to go to war against the Russian army on a personal level would be enormous.
Long term, Russia, just like with Afghanistan, would have to leave Ukraine to its own devices. I don’t know. I wonder what I’m missing.
Now, this may all happen in the context of America pulling itself out of the ruble of a Second American Civil War, but Hollywood is ripe for a massive series of reboots of existing IP.
I say this because all of the major franchises at the moment are pretty much dead in the water. They’ve been strip mined to the point that audiences — or at least the audiences that grew up with them, are worn out. As such, there is going to come a tipping point when studio execs realize that there is a whole generation or two ripe to re-introduce franchise after franchise to.
Our new Ripley?
There will be much waling and gnashing of teeth by Baby Boomers and GenX, but in the end, we’re all going to see ourselves throwing down $20 at a streamer showing us a start-from-scratch reboot of Alien, Blade Runner, Die Hard, The Terminator and maybe even The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.
Just take Alien, for instance. I could very easily see Zendaya play a totally new Ripley in a totally new version of Alien that would start the whole franchise fresh. Give her a three picture deal and finally sort that particular franchise clusterfuck out once and for all. You get a hip horror director a three picture deal as well when you do this and you’ve just made yourself half a billion dollars.
What’s interesting is the James Bond franchise is, as of this moment, doing fairly well. It seems to me Henry Cavill — despite some unsettling blind items that allegedly are about him — would be the perfect new James Bond. He’s definitely who I think of when I think of “James Bond for the 2020s.” He’s got the Right Stuff for the role.
James Bond For the 2020s.
Anyway, I guess what I’m pointing out is, we’re just about to see a generational changing of the guard. This happens every once in a while, when people too young to remember The Good Olde Days, discover The Beatles, or whatever. This time, it will be Hollywood and it’s going to be pretty lit. A lot of the strip minding errors of Hollywood’s past should be fixed (I hope) because the studios know they have great IP on their hands and all they have to do is give the new versions of these beloved franchises some forethought before they roll them out to Xennials.
This weekend, I’ve decided to start a new routine of reading a lot and doing development work on the other books in this series. So, as such, tonight I’m going to root around the plot of the second book in the series. Not that I’ve finished the second draft of the first book yet, at least writing it, but I want to switch things up by while still staying in-universe.
I have a great ending for the second book, but everything else at the moment is up in the air. I have a general idea of what happens, but it’s going to take some time to figure out the details. I know the basic building blocks of a thriller now I have to figure out how to put them together in a specific way so this second book is worth reading.
My hope is that I can come back to the first book with fresh eyes in about 24 hours and the writing will go a lot faster. The outline of the first novel is pretty stable at the moment, which makes me very happy. And, in real terms, having an ending established for the second book is a great cornerstone to finishing the novel up a lot faster than you might think.
But I definitely feel like I have a deadline. I want to have these five novels finished and ready to go no later than, say, around my 51 birthday. That will be the 20th anniversary year of me going to South Korea the first time and that changed my life — maybe finishing and selling five novels will change my life as well.
A five novel series dedicated to a character that looks just like you, baby.
At least, that’s the plan. I’m just very self-aware of how old I am and my own mortality. Currently, my only claim to fame is a failed monthly magazine for expats in Seoul. I know, I just know, I can pull another rabbit out of my hat. I just have to work really hard, do a lot of reading and be as creative as I can when it comes to my writing.
I’m really excited to read Barbara F. Walter’s book “How Civil Wars Start” because well, I think there’s a 50 / 50 chance of one starting in the United States between now and January 2025.
I listened to her interview on The New Yorker Radio hour and, well, oh boy. While she made a lot of salient points, I totally disagree with her on one thing: she proposes that if there is a civil war in the United States, it will be more like rolling political violence found with The Troubles.
To me, if there is a civil war in 2024 – 2025, it will be because, on a state level BLUE states leave the Union, starting with California. That will set off a chain reaction whereby other Blue States do the same thing. A series of alliances will form and, before you know it, WMD will be used by each side and away we go. So, I believe any civil war in the United States will be catastrophic and set off, on a global scale, WW3.
Now, I could see rolling political violence that is marketed as a “civil war” if, say, Trump somehow shuffles off this mortal coil between now and 2024. MAGA would instantly assume he was knocked off by the Deep State and act accordingly. Then, they would begin to blow shit up to make a point.
Otherwise, though, if we pick civil war instead of autocracy in 2024 – 2025, things are going to be organized at the state level like in the first civil war and everything is going to go to hell in a hand basket pretty fucking quick.
It is clear to me now that for my Traditionalists relatives their red line when it comes to the rise of tyranny is when things become personal. They are so absolutely fixated on being “canceled” just for being conservative that they are willing to embrace the policies of MAGA to the point that we become autocracy. They don’t see it in those terms, of course. They just think I’m being “hysterical” to even broach the idea that there will come a point when their very vocal anti-MAGA relative may run afoul of the autocrat and have his head knocked in .
This is because, of course, they don’t like the implication that the policies that they support are, well, bad. And they are bad. They’re tyrannical and cruel. But for them, again, I’m being “hysterical.” There’s no way that my fears of ICE (or whomever) snatching me off the street could possibly happen should another Republican become president.
They laugh at my notion that by definition, any Republican who becomes POTUS from here on out will be an autocrat and do everything in his — or her — power to strangle Lady Liberty one way or another. They support MAGA’s “cruelty is the point” policies and, as such, they’re willing to burn our democracy to the ground — for them we’re not even a democracy. We’re a “constitutional republic,” you know.
The obvious implication of all of this is, not until whatever the autocrat does effects them, personally, will they sit up and take notice. Otherwise, everything is an abstract. To put it another way — they would be the people who absolutely support Roe V. Wade being overturned….until their 15 year-old-granddaughter gets pregnant and suddenly her life is ruined because her parents can’t afford to spirit her out of the country to get a safe, legal abortion in Canada.
THEN they sit up and take notice.
The same with me. I’m a loudmouth crank. I say whatever the fuck I want. I never do the right thing. I don’t even know what the right thing is, sometimes. (All of this is within reason, of course.) What I mean is — whatever the consequences are of me calling President Pompeo a fat fuck while drunk at a bar in 2027 are, I’m willing to suffer.
My relatives love me, but it won’t be until they are face-to-face with tyranny on a personal level when I get snatched off the street by ICE that they will begin to re-think their support of “cruelty is the point” policies that the autocrat has instituted.
So, for me, all this talk of illiberal democracy or autocratic America is not an abstract. This is my life we’re talking about. I’m willing to ride this particular free speech pony to the bottom. I keep telling my Traditionalist relatives that I will never shut up and for them to know that when they inevitable pull me aside and try to tell me, “For the sake of the family, I suggest you shut up.”
Fuck that. Not going to do it. If they had made common cause with me against MAGA at the start of this clusterfuck, they wouldn’t be put in that type of position. Because of their failure to do that, we’re all just going to have to suffer at the hands of autocrat.
If you want to call that my own implementation of “cruelty is the point,” the so be it. But I’m never fucking shutting up. Free speech is my American birthright and if I want to call President Pompeo a fat fuck, I’m going to do it. Damn the consequences to me or my family.
Of course, my Traditionalist family members can’t process that as even being a possibility. They think that’s just my usual crazy talk. The only reason why I’m so adamant about this particular situation is that this is not an abstract to me. You can be scared of brown people all you want to, be willing to give up all of the implied freedoms associated with living in a democracy to prevent them from taking political power from you, but in the end I’m still going to be dead in a ditch because you didn’t make common cause with me when you had the opportunity.
And any assurances I might get that they will help me out if the worst happens ring hollow. They’re just saying whatever necessary to shut me up by that point. Why do things have to get that bad? Why can’t we all unite against MAGA to defend our democracy that is found within our constitutional republic? But no. Cancel culture and woke culture that hurts their fee-fees is too important to them.
They never take me seriously, anyway, even when I’m proven right! Probably because they just dismiss me as a well meaning crank, just like everyone else does.
Anyway. I know what I believe and I know what I’m willing to suffer for in the real life. Which is better than a lot of people out there.
This is a very dumb thing to comment on, but I have a strong opinion about this, so here we go. Olivia Wilde is demonstrably a gorgeous woman. And, yet from interviews I’ve seen with her, she seems very ambivalent about that beauty.
To the point that I’ve been left scratching my head. She seems to think that Hollywood’s obsession with female beauty is not legitimate. I vaguely recall her getting annoyed that she was told by her agent to “sex things up” when she went to auditions. I just don’t get it — Hollywood is an industry and sex sells. Or “double dees, double deeze” as they say in the SNL skit.
And I also noticed that heroine of her directorial debut, Booksmart, was, relative to Hollywood standards rather plane Jane. So much so that it definitely seemed as though Wilde was trying to make a point.
Anyway, what do I know. I’m just another middle aged white CIS male who should just shut up so women like Wilde can continue to slay the patriarchy. I really like Wilde — she seems like a very interesting woman — I just wish she would accept that her beauty isn’t something to have any angst about.
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