Month: December 2020

‘Night Monster’ — A COVID-19 Themed Song Concept


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

As I grow more serious with this novel, I find it more and more a waste of time to write lyrics and post them on the Internet. Now that I have some sense that I can write a novel on a (potentially) professional level, if I’m going to write pop song lyrics I’m going to be just as serious with them too.

But anyway, someone needs to write a COVID-19 themed song called “Night Monster.” When (I think) I had COVID-19 a few days ago, it came out at night to make me miserable.

Here’s how I would produce it’s sound.

Start off of with song.

Then throw in this song:

Then, lastly, a little bit of this one.

No one listens to me. I need to learn how to play guitar so I start writing song lyrics seriously once I get through this novel project in its totality.

Seems like Billie Eilish would be the perfect vocalist.

Trump Isn’t An Autocrat, He’s a Craven Ding-Dong


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I could still be proven wrong by events, but it’s starting to look like Trump going to lose, lose. And since autocrats never lose, I can only begin to believe that while Trump has plenty — and I mean PLENTY — of autocratic impulses and inclinations, in reality he’s just a craven ding-dong.

In other words, he just doesn’t have the backbone — or intelligence — to do even the bare minimum of skullduggery necessary to end our democracy which is on life support anyway. And, so in the end, Republicans get their young hack MAGA judges and their huge taxcut for plutocrats….and that’s it. Otherwise the Trump Era will be completely value free. In a sense, it, in itself, will be looked upon as the civil war we’ve all been afraid of.

But instead of a hot war, we had a cold civil culture war. Instead of bullets, we had tweets.

And, yet, we’re one explosion away from everything I just wrote being seen as quaint. And that, really, is the point. People like me assumed Trump would pull a false flag — or something — sized “total control” and that would be that. And, really, if we box Iran or the DPRK into a war, then that could still very well happen.

Or, say, a for real for real false flag happens when one of Trump’s SUPPORTERS blows something important to MAGA people up in an effort to give Trump the power to invoke the Insurrection Act.

Regardless, from now until about mid-2021 we are in a very, very tense and volatile situation.

Elon Musk — There’s No Need Risking Giving People Lobotomies: Contactless Telepathy Tech Is Obviously Ubiquitous



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Get this. There’s a late woman named Annie Shapiro who really changed my life while I was in Seoul. I noticed a woman recommend to me on my “For You” page on Tik-Tok and struggled to figure out what was unusual about her.

Then it hit me: she was a ringer for the late Annie Shapiro.

The two women could be at least sisters.

Now, I know correlation is not causation, but I’m beginning to think the telepathic technology of big tech like Google and Facebook that I suspect exists apparently is all over the place — even Tik-Tok.

It blows my mind that Elon Musk would want to risk giving people lobotomies with his Neural Link technology, when he could just adapt the obvious non-intrusive technology that already exists to do the same Goddamn thing.

I guess that would require spooking consumers by admitting that for some time now, Google, Facebook and now Tik-Tok can read our minds. They don’t have context — not yet — but they can definitely read our minds. I’m beginning to think Tik-Tok is the most intrusive of these telepathic technologies.

If I’m right — and I’m often wrong — but if I’m right, then it’s almost inevitable that somehow, someway consumers are going to get woke to this and feel a sense of mind rape.

Who knows. No one listens to me.

The State Of ‘Part 1’ of The Novel — Revise, Revise, Revise

This is where “Part 1” is right now.

What Is Trump Up To At The Pentagon?


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Something weird is going on at the Pentagon. Trump keeps firing people and filling seemingly obscure posts with his toadies. The most innocent explanation is he’s doing it all out of spite. He’s trying to establish some sort of Trump Deep State that will cause headaches for the incoming Biden Administration and that’s it.

The more ominous explanation is he’s keeping his options open.

In other words, Trump is thinking there might be some way for him to stage a real, honest-to-God-coup and he wants as many of his toadies at the Pentagon to see that it’s successful.

But, still, something pretty big would have to happen for him to feel he could actually pull that off. He’d have to get a war with Iran or the DPRK — or an American Reichstag fire — for him to have to cover necessary to fuck with the Constitution at this point.

It has to be noted that Trump obviously has autocratic inclinations but, to date, he simply either hasn’t had the guts or the focus to do what is necessary to turn himself into an American Putin, even though everything is there for him to pull it off but for one thing — himself.

Trump — to date — simply is too big a ding-dong to ram through the autocratic acts necessary to establish House Trump. It’s all very weird and surreal given how obvious it is what Trump would have to do — and could do — to facilitate just that.

I *May* Have Had Covid


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m feeling a whole lot better now, but for a solid 24 hours, I had a big chunk of the COVID19 symptoms. I’m going to get tested tomorrow, but for the time being I’m going to assume I had it and lay low.

One thing I wonder is if my exposure to the Korean cold virus a few years ago gave me added defense. Maybe? The only reason why I even suggest that is it literally felt the same way as that cold did and it was as if my body was telling me, “Don’t worry, we got this. We’ve seen this before.”

Either that, or I have a lot stronger immune system than you might think despite how much I drink and / or I didn’t have it in the first place. But we’ll see.

I’m looking forward the chance to have two weeks alone to work on the novel. It may not be King Lear, but I should be able to knock out a lot — A LOT of it — simply because I’m in lock down.

The Rise of The Trump Deep State — What A Surreal End To A Surreal Time


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It appears as though Trump is wildly vacillating between ranting about he didn’t lose to actively attempting to found his own Trump Deep State that will do everything in its power to screw over the incoming Biden Administration.

If Trump was who he thought he was, then I would be right that “autocrats never lose.” But in a surreal turn of events, the Trump Era may — may — go out not with the bang of a coup, but with the whimper of Trump appointing as many crazy MAGA people to positions in the government as he possibly can.

In fact, as I’ve often said, the Trump Deep State may be one of the biggest stories of the next four years because while Trump ranted about a Deep State that didn’t exist, by the time Biden becomes president, there REALLY WILL BE a Deep State — this time, however, it will be shithead cocksucker MAGA people.

We really can’t begin to predict how, exactly, all of this is going to play out. But I can tell you that because MAGA-Republicans have no fucking shame that any — and I mean ANY — attempt on the part of Biden to right this infection will cause them to demand a full investigation for this abuse of power.

Or, put another way — the moment the House flips in 2022, Republicans are going to plot how they can get revenge for the impeachment of Trump by doing the same damn thing to Biden.

I May Have Covid


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The last 24 hours have been rough. I started crashing yesterday afternoon. And I have all the symptoms. I still don’t feel well. I would go get tested but there are some very specific practical problems in my way.

Hopefully, if I do have COVID19, it will just be like that bad Korean cold I had when I was in Incheon about a decade ago.

The Portrayal of Women In My Novel Continues To Weigh On My Mind


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I often talk about how I want this novel to be for “woke Park Slope moms.” Someone told me I was being both “delusional and stupid” to say this and, I guess, I am. But I find it funny.

I guess what I’m saying is with the phrase is I’m really aware of what women in the audience might expect from the novel. I also know that people at Vox, with their received Tik-Tok English wouldn’t even give me a chance.

But my default prediction right now is I’m going to finish this novel, query it, be rejected and then have to self-publish. From the very beginning, I just wanted to go through the process of developing and writing a novel and, as such, that’s exactly what I’m doing.

The Trump Era just gave me the energy, the fucking white hot raged, necessary to do get pass the astonishing learning curve and get this far in the process. I’ve now given myself a very short deadline, so I have to bali bali, as a Korean might say.

But anyway, back to chicks.

I’m trying my hardest to be as empathetic as possible with my female characters. I have no special insight into women, but I am, like, cognizant. I understand that women have needs and wants just like men and the trick is to get close enough to describing those needs wants without making female readers roll their eyes at my cluelessness.

We’ll see, I guess.

Sorry Maggie Haberman, It’s Starting To Look Like Trump MIGHT Not Be The Political Genus You Cooed About


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Let me begin by saying I never fucking let anything go. Maggie Haberman was weirdly mean to me on Twitter out of the blue and it still smarts. So, she’s become something of a running gag in my content. Anyway, for those of you playing the home game, for about four years, people like The New York Times‘ Maggie Haberman have told us in hushed tones what a fucking political mastermind Trump is.

How things have changed.

Welp, as of right this second, I ain’t seeing it, Ms. Haberman.

I mean, if Internet crank me can think of six different ways RIGHT NOW whereby Trump could stay in office as long as he likes and that ding-dong can’t even figure out one, well, it looks like he was just a very lazy right guy at the right historical place.

Trump is a lot like Hitler in the sense that he simply didn’t really do anything other than use the existing rot in his country’s political system to get what he wanted. Hitler was notoriously lazy. And, if you just look around, you can tell that Trump is pretty lazy, too.

So, about selling your soul to House Trump for access — you got what you wanted, Ms. Haberman, but you will forever be the journalistic equivalent of Leni Riefenstahl…in a sense. What I mean by this is when History judges Trump, she is likely to judge YOU too.

And I’ll freely admit that Ms. Haberman is a far, far better journalist than me. But you’re supposed to have a least a thin veneer of conflict between yourself and the people you report on.

Regardless, I’m just an anonymous Internet crank. No one listens to me, and they probably shouldn’t.