by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
The disconnect between “world Twitter” and “American Twitter” has grown so huge, so surreal as to be rather existential. It’s almost as if Twitter was around in 1939-1941 and people like me realize — the Japanese are about to strike the States at any moment. It definitely feels like we’re in the twilight period before something historic and unprecedented happens. But let’s go through what’s going on with WuFlu right now.
America
Truth be told, they should have canceled the Nevada Caucus. All those people in the same room is less than optimal given that a yet-to-be-declared pandemic is whipping around the globe at an alarming rate. That we haven’t had it pop up in a big way in the States probably says more about poor cooperation between State and Federal authorities — and only four states have testing abilities — than it does about the number of cases actually taking place in the country. I keep expecting 40 elderly celebrities to drop dead within a 48 hour period from WuFlu and that hasn’t happened yet. So, maybe I was wrong about that metric. But I do think it’s possible that things are going to get way, way worse than they have to because of a bungled response on the part of our doofus president’s administration. If there was a “Flughazi” scandal, it would be huge and likely maybe — maybe — be the thing that brought down House Trump….but even then, it wouldn’t be until the middle of Trump’s second term. Trump’s not going anywhere for any reason. Even if there was a Second Great Depression. He’ll bribe Electors if he has to.
But there’s a huge wildcard, the thing that could change everything about campaign 2020 — what if they have to cancel the campaign because, well, we turn into fucking Wuhan on a national scale? Or if — God forbid — we have a massive “die off” off the old coots who run the country? I’m not a praying person, but I don’t wish anyone physical harm simply because I disagree with their politics. I would much rather just figure out how to survive the Fourth Reich than go through a pandemic. And there are no assurances that the “good guys” will win — see also, A Handmaid’s Tale.
South Korea, Iran, Italy
What’s going on in these three countries is an example of how Americans lulz anything that doesn’t involve, well, their country. Three major regional powers are being consumed by WuFlu and fucking Twitter Liberals are still obsessed with the 2020 Campaign. This is really, really fucking weird. But whenever the history of this moment is written — if we get the chance to write it — this will likely be seen as, say, November 1941. World War WuFlu is on its way — and maybe even The Gray Plague — and Twitter Liberals are completely indifferent. It’s shocking. Both South Korea and Iran have geopolitical issues that complicate their national faceplanting. South Korea, specifically being written off could cause not just sharp, if brief economic nose dive, it could also cause a major regional war that will suuuuuuuck.
9 Months That Shook The World
I believe we may have a sequel to 9 Days That Shook The World if the absolute worst happens with WuFlu. I just doubt the governments of China, Russia or the States will survive as they currently exist. I love America with all my heart, but what Trump has started, WuFlu may finish. The country may collapse in reform into two different countries — or MAGA will go full Nazi and use ICE camps to have killing American Killing Fields. You pick your poison on that one. The Russians are ripe for another revolution (probably in association with Putin using the confusion of a pandemic to start a general war against Ukraine). And things can only get so bad in China before, well, it just implodes. This is probably the most speculative of this post, but at least the conditions are there for what I suggest to have happen, happen.
Burn, Hollywood, Burn
I still think it may be a year of people not going to the movies that will lead to “immersive media” rising from the ashes like mammals after the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs. The entire infotainment industrial complex is going to get nuked if the worst happens. Talk about creative destruction! I really hope this doesn’t happen, but it’s at least possible.
