Month: April 2019

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

This is dumb, but she is “shockingly single.”

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Given how the drop-dead gorgeous (and for me age appropriate!) Charlize Theron is doing press for The Long Shot and saying she’s “shockingly single,” I’m going to call her bluff and ask her out.

I propose she and I go on one (1) date here in Richmond, Va for the following reasons.

1. We’re peers. — We’re both in our 40s.
2. What better way to promote her movie The Long Shot, but by doing something completely implausible like this?
3. I think she’s hot.
4. I give great “mind.”
5. I can show her around what few cool places there are around Richmond.
6. I’m writing a novel she might be interested in producing into a movie if I ever finish it.

That last one is key. The novel I’m writing is going really well so far, even as a first draft. I can think of at least one character in the novel she could play if it were ever turned into a movie.

So, baby, have your people call my people (that would be me.)

Shelton Bumgarner is a writer living in Richmond. His email address is migukin (at) gmail (dot) com.