by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
I was hanging out in Richmond’s Fan area today sobering up and enjoying the hot afternoon, when I noticed an attractive young lady drinking, eating and talking with her friend. I sat there, looking straight at her and tried to figure out how I could possibly talk to her. She was wearing sunglasses and occasionally she would look straight back at me.
Now, I’m older and jaded so really my interest in her was more about how drunk I was and the fact that she was in direct eyeshot than anything else. I struggled to figure out different ways that we could meet. I thought about what little I knew about game theory and couldn’t think of anything.
Unless she did something really conspicuous to give me some hook, some reason to believe she wanted me to talk to her, I was at a loss. And that was that. I paid my tab, walked right past her, she seemed to subtly flinch when I didn’t talk to her and was on my way.
That’s how I feel about #FOTUS at this point.
Trump’s potential involvement is staring straight at me in the guise of that $1.6 million pay off, but I got nothing. Nothing at all. No evidence that the whole, “He was rich. She was pregnant. End of Story,” thing isn’t true. So, if you continue to read any of my rantings on this subject either you’re a hater who is hate reading, someone who thinks I’m a fool or a sympathetic conspiracy theorist.
But I have to accept that I’m never going to meet the girl. Unless New York Magazine writes a follow up or the SDNY has something up their sleeve, this story is, at last over.
He was rich.
She was pregnant.
End of story.
Guvf vf whfg fcrphyngvba, ohg vf vg cbffvoyr Furen Orpuneq arire unq gur nobegvba naq jung rirelbar’f yrneavat vf fur’f tbvat gb unir n xvq naq gurl jnag gb cebgrpg vg? Gung vg’f Oebvql’f naq fur whfg jnagf ure cevinpl?
Fgvyy qbrfa’g rkcynva gur $1.6 zvyyvba cnl bss. Pbura vf nobhg npprff, cher naq fvzcyr. Oebvql unf ab ernfba gb hfr Pbura fvzcyl gb pheel snibe vs gurer’f ab npprff vaibyirq. Oebvql zhfg unir xabja cyragl dhnyvsvrq AQN ynjlref va YN gung ur pbhyq gehfg. Pbura vf n svkre sbe Qbanyq W. Gehzc, abobql ryfr.
Bgure guvatf.
Bapr lbh pnyy ohyyfuvg ba ure pnfhnyyl orvat ersreerq Xrvgu Qnivqfba gura jung ryfr vf fur ylvat nobhg?
Orpuneq vf na npgerff. Crgre X. Fgevf vf ab qhzzl. Ur pbhyq pbnpu ure gb gryy nalbar jub nfxrq rabhtu gb znxr gurz oryvrir gur pbire fgbel.
Ohg ab bar unf rkcynvarq gung $1.6 zvyyvba gb zr. Lbh pna’g. Gung $1.6 zvyyvba cbcf bhg naq fvzcyl gryyvat zr V’z jebat naq gb fuhg hc qbrfa’g phg vg.
