Tag: Seoul

A Mild Disturbance In The Force

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I like to think that I have “the knack” to a limited degree and I feel a tinge of something out of sorts in the universe. I don’t know what it is, but I feel like something I don’t know about is happening that I would find of interest if I did know about it.

Then, for some reason, I also find myself thinking about South Korea — specifically Seoul — and the late, great Annie Shapiro. I still can’t believe that woman is dead. It just blows my mind. She was so manipulative and crafty that I STILL have a 10% belief that she faked her death for some reason.

She really was that sneaky.

And, yet, all indications are that she did, in fact die. At a very young age, too. It’s all very sad.

But I also think of Seoul and all the crazy things that happened to me there. It’s been so long ago that I was last in Seoul that if I ever go back, oh boy, will things be very, very different.

Which makes me feel kind of sad. But I’m also a lot different than I was when I was in Seoul. I’m older, wiser and the whole context of any new time in Seoul would be so different as to make the trip nearly moot.

As it stands, the only way I would ever probably live in Korea long-term would be if there was a war between the Koreas, South Korea won and suddenly there was a absolute need for as many English teachers as possible in what was once North Korea.

Otherwise, lulz, I probably can just visit at some point in the future. (When, I don’t know….maybe when I sell my novel?)

But I wonder what I’m feeling that is making me tinkle in my psyche. I wonder what’s going on just outside my vision.

‘Ho Hum’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Every once in a while, I’ll stop out of the blue and think, “Wow, ROKon Magazine is a bonkers story.” I’ve written a document about all that bullshit — Somehow — but I still, to this day, have a lingering hope that someone ELSE will see what a great story it is and want to do something with it.

But, as it stands, I just am going to use what happened to inspire me in my own art. And, yet, wow, just wow. The crazy things that happened from late 2006 to early 2008 in Seoul with me and the late Annie Shapiro at the center of it all — wow!

I Really Do Miss Seoul A Great Deal, Sometimes

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The crux of the issue whenever I think about Seoul is it’s obviously my youth, not Seoul itself that I miss. And I’ve Romanized my time in Seoul to such an absurd degree that I know if I ever return it will be a huge let down.

Hell, it was a huge let down the last time I was there.

But a part of me wants to return just to touch base with the place before I drop dead. Though, obviously, if, say, the DPRK collapses and there’s a sudden surge in demand for English teachers there….who knows, I might somehow, magically, find myself there?

And, yet, I have to accept some basic things — even if I suddenly become “famous” and “successful” enough to go back to South Korea some sort of conquering hero — that is not going to change how fucking old I am. I’m just a very, very different person than I was in late 2006 – early 2008.

If you want to read about what the fuck happened, here it is:

Somehow.docx (1)Download

I Miss My Youth More Than Seoul At This Point

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The key thing is even if I magically got the money to go back to South Korea — and Asia in general — at some point in the future, I wouldn’t get what I really wanted: my youth back. I would be returning to Asia a far older and far wiser person and the entire context of whatever happened would be very different.

Most everyone I remember from my time in Asia would have drifted off to a different country and the South Koreans MIGHT remember me, but I’m not so sure they would actually want to hang out with me.

I only bring this up because I keep having these long, extended dreams where I’m back in Seoul. It’s really wild. Or, I find myself daydreaming for way too long about what might happen if I ever do return.

I don’t know. This is all very speculative. I just don’t think I’m going to have the money to go back to Asia for a long, long time — probably years. And, like I said, it just won’t be the same.

It Was 20 Years Ago Today…

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Today, 20 years ago, was my first full day in South Korea. It was the single most dramatic changes in my life, ever. Even more than my first day at college. I really did go from “zero to hero.”

But that was all a long time ago. Lulz, nothing matters. I just have to buckle down and get back to work on my novel(s.) I am angry again that nobody takes my writing seriously.

I know I got a sold three or so novels in me. The only problem is, of course, that, lulz, the world may come to an end before all is said and done — I may never get the chance to query the novels. Below is a link to the craziness that happened a few years later I arrived in South Korea.

Somehow.docxDownload

Does The Rise Of Real-Time A.I. Language Translation Mark The End of ESL In Asia As A Profession?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The case could be made that with the rise of A.I., the ESL teaching economy in Asia is about to undergo a severe retrenchment. It could be that as A.I. gets better and better at real-time translation, the idea of actually learning English will become quaint in the eyes of South Korean parents who are already often strapped for education cash.

But, I don’t know.

It may not be as simple as that. There is a lot to be said for the simple cultural exchange that takes place when young Korean children — and Korean society as a whole — are exposed to people from outside the country.

So it’s possible that there will be a lot of hand wringing, but, in the end, nothing much will change. Maybe a lot of the poorer school districts, outside of the major cities in South Korea, will give up on ESL, but in big cities nothing will really change that much.

I feel like trying to write a column about this for The Korea Times.

I Half-Think I’d Get A Job At Samsung Training AIs If I Went Back To South Korea

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I occasionally muse about what might happen if I went back to South Korea for a visit. I had a lot of “rizz” as the kids say when I was in South Korea and I’m sure there are a few South Koreans who remember me quite well.

I can just see me walking around the street in Seoul if I went back any time soon and some random Korean from my years there who remembered me popping out of the woodwork and saying, “Hey, man, there’s this perfect job for you at Samsung I know about…”

But there are a lot of problems with such a scenario.

It’s not like I’m going back to Seoul anytime soon — if ever. I could be nearly 60 years old — or older — by the time my lot in life changes to the point that I can even think about a return to Asia.

There are some other issues, but lulz, I don’t feel like talking about it.

Yet More Daydreaming About A Return To Seoul

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I have no plans to return to Seoul anytime soon. In fact, the way things are going, I could be in my mid to late 50s before I have anywhere near the funds to do such a thing. And, even if it did happen today — I’ve waited too long.

It just won’t be as much fun.

I’m too old.

And, yet, there is a little part of me that still wants to return to Asia again just to see how my old stomping grounds are doing. I would like to see Nori Bar and Haebangchon and Itaewon again.

But I know that given how fast things move in South Korea that everything would be different in the extreme, to the point that it would all be a lulz and a huge fucking letdown.

The fact that I’m just too old to enjoy any return trek to Asia weighs heavily on my mind. It’s one of those things you just don’t really think about — that there are things you have access to in your 30s that you don’t when you’re in your 50s.

Ugh. Talk about sick sad world, huh.

I Sense Someone In South Korea Is Thinking About Me Really Hard (Ha!)

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I don’t really believe in New Age bullshit, but sometimes I do find myself having a curious sensation — that someone, somewhere in South Korea (or connected to it) is thinking about me really hard.

Me, (right) in South Korea around 2004.

I know this is fantastical, but in the past, at least, around the time I have such feelings, someone will swoop in and look at this blog. It hasn’t happened — yet — but someone did download “Somehow” my 30,000 word screed about the crazy days and nights I “enjoyed” between 2006 and 2008 in connection to ROKon Magazine, Nori Bar and the late Annie Shapiro.

I dunno. I just don’t know what to tell you, folks. It’s probably nothing. It’s been about 13 years since I was in South Korea and there’s no reason to believe anyone in South Korea — even a Korean — thinks about me at all these days.

But it is all very….spooky. It does, yet again, make me want to return to South Korea (and Asia in general) one last time to see what’s up. I know South Korea well enough to know that there’s a 50 / 50 chance that if I went back to Seoul anytime soon I’d find myself with a job at Samsung training an AI.

Let’s Play, ‘Why The Fuck Was Someone Interested In Me & ROKon Magazine?’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

What happened with ROKon Magazine was so long ago that not even I, the keeper of its memory, care anymore other than drawing upon its legacy to write a novel. I know how great a story it is and what could be done with it under the right conditions, but, lulz, absolutely no one else will care or listen to me.

The late Annie Shapiro and me back in our ROKon Magazine days when I was still cute.

But today, out of the blue, someone came to this site through Instagram and made a beeline to what they could find about ROKon Magazine. I am WELL AWARE of how one could perceive my obsession with my Webstats as…creepy…but…lulz, my life is so devoid of anything interesting these days, please give me this one thing.

Here’s what I think happened — someone got wind of me and ROKon Magazine and did a search for me. My Instagram account was the first link they found, then they went from there to this site. Why anyone would give a shit about ROKon Magazine at this point without me prompting them is…intriguing.

My favorite cover of ROKon Magazine.

I am working with some people on a new online literary zine, so maybe someone was curious about me through that? But how they would know about ROKon Magazine specifically if that was the case is a mystery.

But I find the whole thing — while intriguing — a lulz. I’m so old at this point that I only keep breathing out of spite. Sigh.