Tag: photography

Idle, Drunk Daydreaming About Being A Fashion Photographer

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I have to accept that I’m an Old. I’m past the Even Horizon when it comes to any success I might have being done under the “normal” routine. This fact is so deep to me that it sometimes washing across my mind and stops me cold. Even if I eventually get the success I believe I’m capable of — which is debatable at this point — the context will be all out of whack.

I could be a fashion photographer, given the opportunity.

Instead of gradually paying my dues and becoming a success like a normal fucking person, I’ll seemingly “come out of nowhere” as an “Old.” If I become a such a success that I catch the eye of the press, that’s all they’ll want to know — “How does it feel being a sudden success as an Old.”

At the moment, there are two potential ways I might realistically become such a success — writing and photography.

I’ve spent the last few years working on a six novel project and it’s going really well. I’m pleased with where things stand and I feel I just have to be patient and there’s a reasonable chance that I will get within shouting distance of selling a novel. Or, put another way, I now know how I develop and write a novel and there’s a pretty good chance that I might sell a novel before I drop dead.

Meanwhile, there’s photography.

In a sense, I like photography more than writing because the reaction is instant and a good or great photograph is self-evident. But there is the problem of being able to afford buying the equipment. And that, to date, has been a real problem for me. I’ve been very poor for a very long time.

Great shot of mine.

The point is — I’ll put a move on you.

There’s a greater-than-zero chance that should something happen and my financial situation change rather abruptly that I’m going to suddenly have a career in photography. And given I love women and I love beauty, that would lead me to the sweetspot of fashion photography.

But, at the moment at least, all of that is just daydreaming. If you are using an sort of traditional metrics to judge my potential fate, well, lulz, you have every reason to ignore all of this and, I don’t know, be a smug successful liberal in a major urban area.

And, yet, people always underestimate me. Always. As long as there’s life, there’s hope.

I Have To Manage My Expectations

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I once read a how-to book on writing novels that pretty much said, of all the different type of genres to try to write — just don’t even try to write a thriller. There are too many other people doing the same thing and, lulz, how about a scifi novel?

So, here I am, thinking about not just one thriller but SIX thrillers (making up two thematically connected trilogies.) And given various up-in-the-air elements of my private life (and how old I am), I have to accept that if “make it big” at this point in my life it’s probably going to be through photography, not the written word.

But, at the moment, I don’t have the money to buy the equipment for photography and I live in the middle of nowhere, so lulz. AND I’m getting to the age where any success I have will be framed by how old I was when I got it.

“Wow, look at the old person who became a success late in life! Freak!”

Or something like that.

Anyway, I’m not dead yet. I believe in myself, even if no one else does.

‘Girl In The L.A. Snow:’ #lyrics To #Pop #Rock Song


Some people tweet interesting Zillow finds, I write lyrics to songs that will never be performed. Something about the quick creative hit of writing a poem meant to be sung is very relaxing. Anyway, this one comes from me wondering how Anna Marie Tendler could possibly be in the snow in L.A. Of course, duh, she wasn’t — the picture is set to be DISPLAYED in L.A. Anyway, this one turned out well.

Girl In The L.A. Snow
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
Please give credit if you produce or perform

sliding in the snow
she struggles with what she sees
snow in L.A. doesn’t come easy
and neither does she
but here it is all around her
snow in L.A.
snow in L.A.
snow in L.A.

she’s wearing red
thinking of the men
who want to get her in bed
the snow is cold in her hands
but she feels so warn between her legs
the heat of the moment
being just a girl in the snow
is making her hot
don’t you know

staring into the whiteness of scene
this is just her world
but she can see, see, see
no barns to fear or painted red
she’s the artist of her own life
’cause she’s just a girl in
the snow in L.A.
the snow in L.A.
the snow in L.A.

(bridge)
she feels the summer in her soul
her heart is the sun
it’s on a roll
the darkness of grief will flee
just give her some time to meet it
head to head
so she doesn’t think of him
giving head

she’s just a girl in
the snow in L.A.
the snow in L.A.
the snow in L.A.
the snow in L.A.

I Need A Muse So Bad


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I went on one of my regular writer’s retreats and came back with all these ideas. One is a time travel short story. The other is screenplay for a romcom dealing with the power of modern technology.

And, yet, I still have four novels to work on and saving up the money to buy a really good Nikon camera so I can make that my second “creative track.”

So, while I might give myself 24 hours to be somewhat distracted by the short story, unless something big happens, after that, I’m going to throw myself fully back into the novels.

But I definitely feel like if I had someone in my life to kind of manage my creativity, I might be able to knock out a lot more art. And, yet, the only way that’s going to happen to me is, well, if I become a sucess.

Otherwise, lulz.

‘Dinner In March:’ #Pop #Rock #Ballad #Lyrics Inspired By Anna Marie Tendler’s Art


I feel so bad for Ms. Tendler. Because of what happened between me and the late Annie Shapiro in Seoul, I can, in my mind and heart, kind of square the circle of what is going on between she and her ex-husband and his new baby mama. I can see in my mind, in three dimensions what’s going on in this tragedy. Anyway, I’m very inspired by her devastating photography and, hence, here are some lyrics. I don’t know anything about music. From my point of view, this is just a quick hit of creativity that elevates my serotonin. I would also like to note that Prince is an amazing lyricists. I used Nothing Compares 2 U as a guide as to how to write these lyrics and it was TOUGH!

Dinner In March
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
Please give credit if you produce or perform

hang my head in shame
wondering if I’m being way too lame
dinner is set
time marches on like a drumb
it’s just me now I’m afraid
for this
dinner in march

I eat my dinner alone now
at any time of day
I can start it at noon
and zoom right through
or day drink myself into
a state of disgrace

while the wine flows I whine
to myself about what could have been
was I good enough (for you)
was I too good (for you)
how could I have changed it all
for the better, for the better

(bridge)
april will come
you’ll be by my side
or not
I’m going to have to let it slide
while I eat my dinner in march alone

dinner in march
dinner in march
dinner in march
dinner in march
dinner in march

Another Good Shot Of Mine


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
I love photos like this because you really get to see the person’s emotion. What is she thinking? (Probably, why is this strange American taking a picture so close to my face.)

I’m hoping with the new Nikon 780 I’m saving up for, I won’t have to get SO close to people’s faces to get pictures like this. But I really love pictures like this one.

Helmut Newton Is My Photographic Hero


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The more I think about it, the less I care about actually having any interaction with the subjects I might take pictures of should I get what I want, which is a career (of some sort) in the fashion industry.

Lulz. I’m obsessed with the art of fashion. The actual people involved can do their own thing. If they’re gracious enough to allow me to sit with the cool kids, then, great. But, honestly, just having the opportunity to take pictures of gorgeous women in gorgeous clothes would be enough.

But having said all that, I find myself thinking about my first memories of fashion photography. For some reason, even as a young man, I was drawn to the work of Helmut Newton. I liked the stark, austere nature of his work. That he was working with the best looking women in the world, didn’t hurt.

My best Helmut Newton-influenced photo I have available.

Helmut Newton of Catherine Deneuve

Anyway, lulz. No one cares. And if they do care, they think — at this point — that I’m totally delusional and bonkers. Which, at this point, I am. But I’m notorious for taking a tiny opportunity to running with it at light speed. So, it’s at least possible that once I get the Nikon camera I’m working towards buying that something might, at last, break my way.

I don’t know what to tell you. Either I’m going to always be an Internet crank, or something’s going to change in a big way.

We Were Young Once, And Drunk


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I hope to return to Seoul before I drop dead. Everything changed when I went to Asia. Or, should I say, everything changed when I met the late Annie Shapiro. I have a very romanticized recollection of those years of my life. I mean, Annie was no saint and I was so crazy that they put me in a book about crazy expats. (That was fun, let me tell you.)

The good old days in Seoul.

In more than one way, the bolts popped off my sanity while I was in Asia. And I was so kneecapped on an emotional basis by what happened with ROKon Magazine that I pretty much was in neutral for a decade. But I can feel things beginning to change now.

Now that the novel series I’m working on is beginning to take shape and I have my potential “second track” of (fashion) photography, I’m beginning to get my emotional sea legs again. I think back to how I was a man on fire in Seoul and how I was “famous” and overexposed within the expat community for being everywhere and nowhere at once.

A lot — A LOT — could still go wrong. But the reason why photography, specifically is so appealing to me is it makes me the protagonist of my personal story again. Something has to change in my life for me to use the camera I want to buy successfully. I can’t just stay in neutral. I’m going to have to hit the pavement and see if I can crack some doors somewhere.

I remember how exciting it was in Seoul in late 2006 when Annie and I were changing the world with ROKon Magazine. I would do it all different now, but it wouldn’t be nearly as much fun.

I loved being a DJ in Seoul.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that fashion photography is, like being a rock DJ, a sweetspot in my personality. And it was in Asia that I realized I was not a journalist, but, rather a creative person. In a way, being a DJ and fashion photographer are same same but different in my mind. I’m using a similar part of my mind to tell stories, if you will.

But, as I keep saying, I’m about 20 years too old to start a career in (fashion) photography — or any creative career for that matter. They say “age ain’t nuthing but a number,” but “they” lie. All I can say is I have a native, organic talent with it comes to a few things and photography is one of them.

Getting into photography, if nothing else, elevates my serotonin levels.

Existential Angst: Navel Gazing A Future In Fashion Photography


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m not perfect. I freely admit that I can come across as a kook if you don’t know me personally. And I have something of an obsessive personality. But as the late, great Annie Shapiro said about me at the height of the emotional war we were engaged in at one point, the worst you can say about me is I’m a “delusional jerk with a good heart.”

Annie Shapiro and I in the good old days.

So, while my long-term plans at the moment are to write four novels and see if I can become a professional fashion photographer, the latter idea is more about giving myself some hope than anything else. There are many, many obstacles to me getting anywhere near having any success as a professional fashion photographer and, really, at this point, me talking about it tantamount to using The Secret to make it happen.

I’m growing paranoid that, I don’t know, Alexa Chung knows who I am and thinks I’m some sort of deranged stalker? I can’t express how bad even the abstract fear of that being possible makes me feel. I’m a lot of things, but a menace isn’t one of them. I’m a kook, crank even, but usually anything I do that is off putting to people comes from me not having much of a mental filter and also having no idea what the “right” thing to do is most of the time.

But I don’t know. Hopefully, I’m giving myself too much credit. I’m a big ol nobody and have been since I left South Korea. Yet, I do have an organic ability to take a good photo. I just want people to give me an opportunity based on my ability, not some misunderstanding about me otherwise.

And, yet, life is not fair. You have to work with the cards you’re dealt, especially when you’re middle aged and no young anymore.

So, again, as I said, at the moment, me talking about being a fashion photographer is nothing more than me giving myself something to think about other than writing four novels.

I don’t even have a camera yet.

But once I do have the camera I want, I’m going to start going out of my way to find things to take pictures of. I am the first to admit, however, that I’m probably 20 years too old and, really, I should just shut up and lie in bed all day so no one knows I exist.

That’s just not my speed. I’d rather go down in a blaze of glory (hence, the four novels) than play it safe. Every moment of life is precious and it’s up to each of us to do the best with what we have.