Oh, Baby, Just You Shut Your Mouth — Paulina Porizkova, You’re My First Celebrity Crush


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Where to begin with this one. One of my first celebrity crushes was Paulina Porizkova. She was one of the first times in my life when I saw a woman and was like wow-we-wow-wow. And so, now, we hear that she’s having troubles finding a date because she hasn’t gotten any work done.

Paulina Porizkova

All I can say is, honey, give me a call.

You’re used to being a muse and I would definitely make you mine if you would hang out with me. You would have to lower your socio-ecomic standards significantly — or, maybe have none at all, but I promise, I PROMISE we would have a great time.

I’m a great conversationalist and I would make you the center of my creative life. But lulz, I’m being delusional. Wink.