Tag: Kaia Gerber

This is Hilarious: Allegedly, Kaia Gerber & Cara Delevingne Were Back At It After The Oscars

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Pete Davidson may get all the PR for his “big dick energy,” but it’s Cara Delevingne who is the DL MVP of Hollywood’s collective sexlife. The woman can not be stopped.

Just “friends.”

But her amazing ability to bed female celebrities is obscured because Hollywood doesn’t want us Poors to know what’s going on. If the Hollywood press was clear about what they knew of Delevingne sapphic exploits, it would raise a lot of questions from us Poors that they the Powers That Be would just rather not be asked.

The issue — we Poors just can’t process that the amount of bi-sexualism found in the upper ranks of society. This is especially the case for women. The Elite hold we Poors in such low regard, that they actively gaslight us whenever Delevingne beds yet ANOTHER high end Hollywood starlet.

What I care about is not so much who Delevingne beds, but the fact that the Hollywood press is gaslighting us. This is really grating on my nerves when things like this happen — apparently, Cindy Crawford’s daughter might be hooking up with Delevingne, despite having a “boyfriend.”

The rumor mill has it that the two women were all over each other at some post-Oscar function. I first became aware that they were OBVIOUSLY fucking when I saw a picture of the two women in a two-person cardigan gifted to them by none other than Taylor Swift of all people.

Given that fucking Delevingne is some sort of rite of passage for any hot woman in Hollywood, the idea that the Hollywood press would wilfully not mention what was going on between the two women when the picture was taken is very, very annoying to me

Just tell the fucking truth, people.

I Think About This A Lot: Kaia & Cara’s Two Person Cardigan Picture


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Many moons ago, I was famous. I was famous in Seoul because I was DJing at well known expat bar and I was publishing ROKon Magazine. Now, in the context of the actual, real world, I was barely a big fish in a puddle. But I did learn a lot about the dynamics of fame.

And so, this brings us to this picture.

Why, hello, ladies.

This is a picture of well-known lesbian lothario Cara Delevingne in a two-person cardigan with Kaia Gerber. Given to them by Taylor Swift, of all people. Now, it is very, very possible that they were and are just friends. I’m totally willing to believe that. Just two friends goofing around with a promotional two-person cardigan gifted them by a good famous friend.

And, then, I find myself having some nagging questions about this situation. People who poo-poo any romantic connection between the two women will point out that, as I understand it, Gerber had a boyfriend at the time the picture was taken so, lulz, I’m being a weirdo for suggesting anything untoward. Then I think about what I know from my time in Seoul and it grows very difficult for me not to at least think THIS is what happened: yes, Gerber had a boyfriend, but the whole situation was far more Rich People Open Relationship than us Poors might understand.

As such, Poors like me don’t understand that what I think was happening with this picture is exactly what was going on with this picture, but it’s not as cut and dried as my Poor morality might be able to comprehend. The case could be made that, yes, Gerber was somewhat romantically involved with Delevingne at the time the picture was taken, but she DID have a boyfriend.

Whatever was going on between two women was so far removed from “Instagram official” that they weren’t dating at all and, by the way, Gerber had a boyfriend so why are you even thinking that you Poor freak?

Or put another way, when you’re famous, you have fan base and an image to maintain. If whatever you’re up to in your personal life doesn’t fit the narrative you have for your fan base, it doesn’t exist. It helps if you’re wealthy, have a powerful supermodel mom and the celebrity press is your willing accomplice.

What’s more, even if they WERE dating, at such rarified strata of society as these two women inhabit, whatever they may have been up to is so mundane to their peers that it doesn’t even deserve to be acknowledged. Within the circles of the rich and beautiful, there’s so much bed hopping — same sex and otherwise — that it really takes something unusual for what Poors think is scandalous behavior to become public.

And even then, it’s often something akin to a celebrity false flag operation.

So, yes, relative to my life as a rando Internet crank, there’s nothing to see in the above picture other than two good famous same sex friends sharing a promotional cardigan from another famous friend.

Reality may have been a bit more complicated and murky.

Fun Interesting News — The Continuing Kaia Gerber & Cara Delevingne Situation


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

First of all, let me state I honestly don’t care what’s going on between Kaia Gerber and Cara Delevingne. Maybe they’re dating. Maybe they’re not. Who cares. But what does interest me is how there’s really no buzz, no speculation about shipping the couple in the entertainment press. Occasionally, there’s something about what’s going on, but, to date, it’s gotten no traction outside of obscure entertainment outlets and a few more female-oriented publications like The Cut.

They’re great friends!

It’s gotten rather surreal.

What gets me the most is when the entertainment press matter-of-factly reports this or that very seemingly romantic thing the two women have done in a conspicuous fashion without providing the added context to the audience. It’s like their afraid to at least state the obvious — these two famous women may be dating.

The only thing I can think of is everyone involved has a vested interest in not talking about what may — or may not — be happening because Cindy Crawford is Ms. Gerber’s mom. It’s too easy to imagine a nightmare scenario where Tucker Carlson begins to rant about how the progeny of a 80s supermodel is in a same-sex relationship and What It All Means.

What’s even weirder is other female same-sex relationships have been eagerly shipped by the entertainment press, most notably Jenelle Monet and Tessa Thompson. The entertainment press was rather blasé about that relationship to the point that they asked Ms. Thompson about it even before she was willing to admit it.

Or maybe I’m missing the obvious — we’ve reached the point when female same-sex relationships are so accepted that it’s a lulz and it’s not a matter of there being a taboo so much as it’s considered gauche to mention it unless a publicist is pushing that narrative.

I only keep writing about this because it’s so rare to find something “fun interesting” that’s completely value-free and puts a smile on your face.

Taylor Swift, Cara Delevingne, Kaia Gerber & The Media’s Construction of ‘Reality’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Let me begin by saying I just don’t care one way or another if Cara Delevingne and Kaia Gerber are dating. I will admit that the such a prospect does make my eyes bug out a little bit, that’s not the point. What those two fine, fine women do with their bodies is their own concern.

What bugs me is how the celebrity news business seems to be pulling a fast one on us about what is “real.” This is kind of late, but something about this photo and how it was presented at the time it was released really bothers me.

“We’re just friends.”

Ok, so, this photo is of a two-person cardigan that Taylor Swift gave Cara Delevingne and Kaia Gerber upon the release of her fan-service album “Cardigan.” So far, so good. What bothers me is at the time there was zero indication that this was anymore than just “two friends” getting a kooky gift from their equally famous friend Taylor Swift. I will admit that maybe this is far more well known in New York City than I realize and if that’s the case, I’m sorry. But relative to my media intake, there’s been not even a Entertainment Tonight allusion to this couple’s existence.

It’s almost as if celebrity media simply did not want to do anything to let us know that, uhhhhhh, those two aren’t just friends. It reminds me of how The New York Times was famous back in the day for various wink-wink nudge-nudge euphemisms for “gay.”

This brings up the issue — why does this even matter?

It matters to me because it’s the duty of journalism — even celebrity journalism – to provide context. The couple is out enough that they’re wearing a two-person cardigan, for Christ’s sake, why not just ship them to the public? It’s shit like this that makes people not trust the media.

There must have been some way to simply state the obvious about the picture — Taylor Swift gave a two-person cardigan to Cara Delevingne and Kaia Gerber who are in a romantic relationship. But I guess the reasoning is, being out among the 1% is different than being out with the hayseed rubes of middle-America so celebrity journalists, in a sense, are protecting the couple. I’m probably stumbling across some sort of queer theory concept of how different the concept of being “out” is among different parts of society.

Anyway. It’s just annoying.

But, as I keep saying, I wish the couple well (if they’re even still dating.) I just had to vent a little bit about that picture.

Wait What? We Have To Talk Again About The Prospect Of A Kaia Gerber – Cara Delevingne Relationship


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’ve already written some about this some time ago, but the lingering possibility that it happened puts such a smile on my middle-aged face that I have to write about it again. And, I just have to laugh, and laugh and laugh that this thing has happened. It’s one of those value-free fun-interesting things that I always look for.

First, some context.

In the fashion world — and among the wealthy elites in general– same-sex relationships (especially between women) are so commonplace and treated with such indifference that one can come across as something of a hayseed rube for even pointing them out.

Meanwhile, Cara Delevingne seems to have something of a reputation as a lesbian lothario.

Now, let’s look at this picture:

Taylor Swift’s gift to the..couple?

Looking for that picture, I found a surprising number of OTHER pictures online that pretty much prove these lovely ladies are, in fact, dating. It blows my mind. I mean, Cindy Crawford is an icon for the ages. And it breaks my poor old middle-aged brain to think her daughter is dating Cara Delevingne.

I guess the real interesting thing about them dating is not so much that they’re dating as is how it isn’t a bigger deal. Pictures like this are presented without a cocked eye or comment. I guess what rubs me the wrong way is the media is being a bit disingenuous by not shipping these two in a more overt manner. Wouldn’t it help the cause of gay rights if they did? I guess celebrity news editors assume we’re all idiots and can’t handle something so surreal, even if it’s pretty self-evident that it’s happening.

I haven’t really kept up with the couple, so they may have broken up by now. And throw in how Margaret Qualley of all people was seen hanging out with couple and the plot thickens. That REALLY blows my mind at the “mathematical possibilities” as they say in Annie Hall. But that may be me just being a dirty old man. But there is the Delevingne factor in that particular potential flesh sandwich.

I’m wrong all the time, so take that into consideration.

But I wish the couple well.

Kaia Gerber is only 19 and she’s probably sowing her wild oats, which is her right. She dated Pete Davidson — as did Margaret Qualley! — so maybe she’s just bouncing around available hot people for fun.

Have fun, Ms. Gerber. You’re only young once.

The Cultural Heatsink That Is Taylor Swift’s Album ‘Cardigan’



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Where to begin on this one. Taylor Swift is an excellent lyricist and among the most influential performers of her generation. And, yet, her latest album seems to be fan service.

There was all this buzz among the faithful, but I haven’t seen any buzz about it beyond that. I had to go out of my way to listen to it on Spotify. What I’ve heard of it so far is pretty good. Nothing unexpected. Pretty much what you would expect from someone like Taylor Swift at this point in her career.

It makes you wonder what this means. It seems like the lack of buzz for the album says more about the modern state of pop culture than it does her. And, really, what I might be noticing is she didn’t drop a video for any of the songs. Typically, a video would get some press over and above what one might expect from the usual Taylor Swift places.

I have to note that Taylor Swift sent Cara Delevingne and Kaia Gerber a two person cardigan to wear in honor of the album’s release. What the what? It’s surreal that no one has pointed out the obvious implications of this. Sounds a lot like if there is a romantic relationship between Ms. Delevingne and Ms. Gerber it’s obviously well known enough that Swift sent the two women such a gift. And, again, maybe I’m drawing a conclusion that isn’t supported by the facts. I’m more than willing to admit that possibility. But, let’s be honest, folks. Is it really credible to believe that someone like Ms. Delevingne would shoot a platonic selfie with a catch like Ms. Gerber? REALLY? In a two person cardigan of all things? REALLY?

Anyway. No one listens to me and they probably shouldn’t.

Back to Swift. I still wish she would assemble a female super group and go straight rock with it. But apparently, rock is dead and gone, never to return. Lulz?

Wait, What? Are Kaia Gerber & Cara Delevingne Dating?



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m simply a rando nobody in the rural portion of a purple flyover state. I don’t know anything about anything. Please actively ignore me. And maybe this speculation is a big “duh” to people who are more clued in than me, but it definitely seems as though Kaia Gerber and Cara Delevingne are dating.

The reason why I think this is there’s “normal world” and then there’s the tight little bubble of “showbiz world.” Or, in this particular situation, its subset “fashion world.” Both women are bombshells and Ms. Delevingne seems to bounce around a lot (no hating, she’s just doing what men do all the time — I’m looking at YOU Pete Davidson.)

But from Ms. Gerber’s side, it makes a huge amount of sense. She’s only 18 and she probably simply wants to sow her wild oats as quickly as possible — hence her brief relationship with — you guessed it — Pete Davidson. I guess because I’m ancient as all get out the fact that Cindy Crawford’s daughter may be dating female Lothario Cara Delevingne makes my eyebrows rise just a little bit. It takes a moment to process not because there’s anything wrong with it, just Ms. Crawford is such an icon that it takes my old brain a moment to fit into the new reality.

As an aside, I will note a picture exists of Cara Delevingne with BOTH Kaia Gerber AND Margaret Qualley. The latter two women both had brief relationships with Pete Davidson so it comes off as a little surreal. And in the picture Ms. Delevingne is making Ms. Qualley laugh for some reason.

Make of that what you will.

So, it seems as though it’s EXTREMELY LIKELY that Ms. Delevingne has beded both Ms. Gerber AND Ms. Qualley recently. It makes one’s head spin. But, remember, in the upper reaches of showbiz — especially fashion — same sex relationships are completely accepted (as they should be.) And let me stress — I’m simply making an informed observation. Maybe I’m pulling all of this out of my butt. I’m notorious for coming to the wrong conclusions, so this time is probably wrong, too.

The only reason why I even mention any of this is how showbiz news simply states things factually about Ms. Gerber and Ms. Delevingne as if it’s “Oh, you know, just two friends doing friends stuff. Nothing to see here.”

Maybe I’m wrong. I probably am. I wish both women well, regardless.

Happy Birthday Kaia Gerber

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I just have to note something about Kaia Gerber — she’s the product of some savvy, old school genetic engineering on the part of her mom Cindy Crawford.

Crawford is extremely intelligent and while I’m sure she loves her husband dearly, she wasn’t falling for a Ric Ocasek type. She found herself a wealthy, attractive husband she knew would produce some stunning progeny.

I just find it a hoot how brazen Crawford was. It’s not like she’s the only model to do this, but occasionally a model does falls for a schlubby musician. I’m impressed with how Crawford leveraged her position to assure her children could follow in her own modeling footsteps should they so desire.

Anyway, I really like Kaia Gerber and wish her the best. Happy birthday!