Tag: I fucking Hate Being Sober

Zoom!

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Barring something I can’t predict — which could very well happen — I am well on track to zooming through the second half of the alpha release of my first novel. Once I finish that, then I will pause for a bit to reflect on how I can take the beta release of the third draft to the next level.

I’m kind of a kook. (That’s me ~2007 in the background.)

I need to focus on consistency, canon and character. I finally — finally — understand what this novel is about and what motivates my heroine and as such I feel pretty confident I can cruise through the remainder of the alpha release. The beta release, however, may take me a while because that will be the release that I either hand over to and editor (somehow) or I begin to query with.

This beta release of the third draft of the novel Is It, one way or another. I will have Finished A Novel and the the post-production / editing / querying process will begin.

Now, obviously, there are all kinds of fucked up things that might happen. The Petite Singularity could happen and everyone will have a Mind In A Box that they can tell to write them a personalized novel in seconds. Or The Fourth Turning could happen and the US will descend into chaos or autocracy.

I hope to write a heroine as intriguing as Lisbeth Salander.

But fuck it, I’m really pleased with this novel. I’m really pleased with what I’ve come up with and the novel is VERY MUCH a reflection of my personality to the point that if you finish reading it, you’re going to maybe know a little bit more about me than you might think.

Anyway.

All of this is happening in the context of me potentially finishing ANOTHER NOVEL in the same series at some point this year. And, really, in a sense, the only thing that would slow me down on that front is my own arbitrary perfectionism and having to accommodate all the changes to the story that I made when I finished the first novel.

Corrie Yee has the phenotype of the heroine of my first novel.

I’m feeling pretty excited. It will be interesting how long it takes for me to find an agent. I’m going to give myself about five years before I say, “Well, I guess this novel isn’t it.” And I hope to keep writing while I query this particular novel so I might have a more marketable scifi novel I can pitch if things don’t work out with this particular mystery-thriller homage to Stieg Larsson’s Millennium Series.

Only time will tell, I suppose.

Yet More Daydreaming About A Return To Seoul

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I have no plans to return to Seoul anytime soon. In fact, the way things are going, I could be in my mid to late 50s before I have anywhere near the funds to do such a thing. And, even if it did happen today — I’ve waited too long.

It just won’t be as much fun.

I’m too old.

And, yet, there is a little part of me that still wants to return to Asia again just to see how my old stomping grounds are doing. I would like to see Nori Bar and Haebangchon and Itaewon again.

But I know that given how fast things move in South Korea that everything would be different in the extreme, to the point that it would all be a lulz and a huge fucking letdown.

The fact that I’m just too old to enjoy any return trek to Asia weighs heavily on my mind. It’s one of those things you just don’t really think about — that there are things you have access to in your 30s that you don’t when you’re in your 50s.

Ugh. Talk about sick sad world, huh.

I Continue To Develop & Write This Novel In A Vacuum

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

There is a lot I just don’t know as I careening towards wrapping up the alpha release of the third draft of my first novel. I don’t quite know what I’m going to “comp” this novel to because it’s not a traditional murder-mystery thriller.

I hope to write a heroine as intriguing as Lisbeth Salander.

But there are also some more nuts-and-bolts things I don’t know.

Are my chapters too long? One of my quasi-beta readers complained that my that was the case. He wanted the chapters to convey less information. I have spent a lot — A LOT — of time figuring out when my chapters end and begin and the idea that that would be thrown is….oh boy.

Meanwhile, I just don’t know what women will think of a smelly CIS white male writing a tale about a part-time stripper obsessed with owning a community newspaper. You could say that the story is sufficiently unique people will like the idea, while at the same time you could say that, by definition, women will hate the idea of a smelly CIS white male writing, well, anything from a female POV.

And I don’t care for the Bechdel Test….OH MY GOD.

I am completely clueless. What I don’t know, I guess, is how much of such technical issues can be just sorted out in post-production, pre-publication. So, maybe I’m thinking too much about the situation. Or not. I just don’t know.

Yeah I Fucking Hate The Bechdel Test

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I noticed in my Webstats that someone made a bee-line to my rant about my hatred of the Bechdel Test, so I thought I would write another post to make it even more clear: I fucking hate the Bechdel Test.

And here’s why — the point of any story is to entertain the audience, to tell a great yarn.

It should not matter if you pass this or that cultural or political test beyond that. Now, if I happen to past the dumb Bechdel Test, I will be the first to crow about it. But I’m not going to go out of my way to pass it because I’m going to be too busy struggling to tell the best damn story I possibly can.

The fact that the Bechdel Test is considered by its creator to be a “half-joke” doesn’t make things any better. So, you mean to tell me, that I have to contort my novel in such a way that two women talk about something other than a man…because of a fucking half joke in a comic strip?

Now that’s a form of “woke” that makes my blood boil and gets me ranting — and I’m not even drunk!

I Hate Being Sober — But Here I Am

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

After years of living in an semi-acholic daze, I’m now completely sober and I hate it. I hate it because it used to be I would day drink and then spend the afternoon writing.

No longer a barfly.

Now, my whole writing technique is upended and I have to write everything without the added creativity of booze to grease things. I even have to write the scenes that make me uncomfortable — spicy scenes — without getting wasted so I don’t get all wiggly-giggling about things.

But, I just can’t keep drinking like I was. I was beginning to have health issues directly related to drinking too much and because I’m NOT an alcoholic, I just stopped cold.

It sucks. It sucks so bad. But, here I am.

It would be a lot more fun if being sober somehow made me more stable. But it hasn’t made me more stable at all. I’m just as big a kook as I was before.

UGH.