Tag: Hunter Biden

The MAGA Right’s Fixation On Hunter Biden Is…Odd

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Of all the reasons to impeach Joe Biden, going after him for….loving his wastrel son too much…doesn’t seem well thought out. In fact, the more I learn about Hunter Biden, the more he seems like he would be a lot of fun to hang out with, at least if I was on a days-long bender. (I don’t do those anymore, but still.)

I mean, if MAGA Republicans had any wits about them, they would impeach Joe Biden over the “crisis at the border.” That, at least, makes some sort of sense. That is a political situation that is easy to understand. But to go after the president for some pretty loosey-goosey claims of some sort of connection between Biden and his son is just very very dumb.

I will note, however, that if ANY actual scandal happens between now and and Election Day 2024, House Republicans are going to jump all over it and impeach Joe Biden over it. It will all happen at light speed.

‘Inherent Contempt’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Not that I want this to happen, but House Republicans if they are sooooo upset over Hunter Biden, do have an option: inherent contempt. This is, as I understand it, the ability for Congress to actually get the its Sargent at Arms to physically arrest someone and put them in the Capitol brig.

Hunter Biden

I can’t figure out if they’re cowards or if they’re so dumb that they don’t realize that they could finally see Hunter Biden in jail if they did that. Now, the political ramifications would be enormous — he would instantly be a center-Left martyr, even more than he already is.

But given that they just don’t care about anything but “ruling” rather than “governing” it seems like it’s a gimmie for them to invoke inherent contempt. But….I dunno, it’s all very odd.

Imagining Citizen Musk Tweeting Out Hunter Biden’s Peen

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Someone said that they feared that the end game for Elon Musk and Twitter is that Citizen Muks is going to tweet out a dick pick. Given how Hunter Biden’s peen has featured so prominently in the whole bullshit “Twitter Files,” it makes a lot of sense that if Citizen Musk was going tweet out someone’s dick, it would be Hunter Biden.

Now, we live in a very fucked up era, so it could be that Musk would get away with it. Say he tweets it out as a “joke” then deletes it. After the shock wore off, I think all that would happen is the trickle of center-Left people leaving Twitter would become a deluge.

But, in the end, Musk would get what he wants — Twitter being mentioned up there with Fox News as a cornerstone of the MAGA conservative movement. And we’re so absolutely polarized that I think in the end, most people would just shrug and move on.

Prediction: Trump Picks Ken Starr to Be The Hunter Biden Special Counsel


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I am just the right age to remember how Whitewater turned into Paula Jones which turned into The Blue Dress which turned into Bill Clinton being impeached. At the center that clusterfuck was Ken Starr.

So, now that our dipshit ding-dong would-be autocrat Trump is on his way out and is looking for some asshole to look into Hunter Biden, the perfect person for the job is Ken Starr.

By picking Starr, Trump would get exactly what he wants — a showboat who would root around any and everywhere possible to destroy the Biden Administration. Mysteriously, Starr will wrap up his investigation just as the 2022 mid-terms are hitting their silly season.

Starr implicates Biden himself in some way, Republicans win the House then impeach President Biden within moments of the new House being sworn in. It doesn’t matter what happens next — MAGA will have, ex post facto, proven a point: every president gets impeached in the modern era, so lulz, what Trump did was no big deal.

Then someone like Tom Cotton or Mike Pompeo — or Trump! — wins the nomination in 2024, becomes president, goads Blue States to leave the Union and the very civil war that MAGA-Qanon-Patriot Party cocksucker shitheads want so bad NOW, will finally happen.

But, remember, my predictions are almost always wrong.

Trump’s Coming Extra-Political Theft of The 2020 Election


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

As I continue to say, Joe Biden is, on a strictly political level, doing quite well. If this was any other election in the last 50 years or so, I would say one would be reasonably assured that Biden would win in something akin to a landside.

Unfortunately, Trump is an autocrat — if an incompetent one — and as such will never lose. Here are my current concerns as to how that “not losing” might happen.

  1. Foreign Hacking
    A lot of very powerful people all over the world are quite pleased with the shitshot that is the Trump Administration. As such, they have the means, motive and opportunity to hack directly into our election systems. Either we don’t find out and we just assume the polls were wrong again like in 2016 or we find out and it goes to SCOTUS and they decide any questions in favor of Trump.
  2. The Dead Hand of History
    TrumpBarr are not really acting like they intend to ever leave office for any reason. So, it definitely seems reasonable to believe that, well, they won’t. Whatever law they have to bend or twist, whatever norm they have to break — they will. They will do it in broad daylight and the entire edifice of the Republican Party will facilitate it.
  3. A Hunter Biden Deep Fake
    I have begun to hear a little bit of chatter about some sort of Hunter Biden sex tape within far Right Twitter. If a deep fake was to pop out, that’s how it would happen — we’d hear rumors about some sort of sex tape and then it would mysteriously pop out in such a way that its validity would still be up for debate on Election Day.
  4. Political Violence
    It seems very possible that MAGA-Qanon might flip the fuck out and start blowing shit up if they got the sense that Trump might not win a second term. This would serve as Trump’s Reichstag Fire, even though his own followers violence was the thing that gave him the cover to take “total control” via the Insurrection Act.
  5. Amy Coney Barrett
    The whole nomination and confirmation process associated with Barrett has the smell of coup to it. It definitely makes one believe that Republicans are so blinded by their craven need for power for power’s sake that once she gets on the bench and reverses the recent 4-4 vote at SCOTUS about mail-in ballots, that that will give TrumpBarr the self-confidence to attempt A Very American Coup even if Biden ostensibly wins in a landslide.
  6. A Very American Coup
    It definitely seems as though TrumpBarr see Amy Coney Barrett as their failsafe. Even if the Russians hack into our election systems, change votes and are “accidently on purpose” discovered doing so, TrumpBarr know that no matter what SCOTUS will vote in their favor if there’s any sort of dispute. Or, if all else fails, they can use any such debate to allow MAGA state legislatures name their own Electors — even though the Russians specifically fucked with our election systems to set such a situation up.

    Remember, the entire media industry is designed to create our reality and to assure Americans that they live in a free country. Even if TrumpBarr was extremely brazen with a coup, I have every reason to believe that CNN and The New York Times might acknowledge what was going on, but would do everything in their power to tell people to be passive and allow the coup to take place.

    As such, I think we’re fucked. Totally, completely fucked. The bad guys are going to win and we’re going to let them. We’re going to be no better than Putin’s Russia. People will get snatched off the street and pushed out of windows within months of Trump stealing the election. All signs point to this happening even if, on a strictly political level, Biden wins. It happened in 2000, and I have every reason to believe it will happen in 2020.

    Prove me wrong.

If A Hunter Biden Deep Fake Pops Out, It Will Probably Be This Weekend


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

For the moment, I’m wrong. Even though all the conditions have been established for a Hunter Biden “deep fake” to pop out of that dubious laptop, it hasn’t happened yet. And, yet, today is the 4 year anniversary of the Second Comey Letter. As such, it seems it’s a now-or-never kind of situation.

It would make sense for such a deep fake to mysteriously appear in the far Right social media echo chamber right about NOW. Or it will be released by Rudy via social media. Or, hell, it could even be Trump himself. Trump is a deranged moron with an existential fear of being prosecuted should he leave office. So, really, anything could happen between now and election day.

I will be the first to admit that I was wrong if we come to election day and no deep fake has come out. In my defense, I have repeatedly said that I come up with such dark scenarios as a defense mechanism. It’s not like I have any credibility to squander, as well.

But it just made sense to me that all the dark predictions we’ve been hearing about weaponized deep fakes would happen in 2020 because, well, a lot of bad actors on the global scene desperately want Trump to stay in office. And he’s more than willing to accept such help.

Or, put another way, autocrats never lose. Trump is a lazy, incompetent autocrat, but he’s still a fucking autocrat.

The Metrics Of The Hunter Biden Deep Fake October Surprise


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Let’s go through why it seems as though very, very soon a purported video (or whatever) of Hunter Biden engaged in some sort of illicit activity is probably going to pop out.

  1. Trump is a traitor
    Trump’s head is so far up Putin’s rectum that it seems logical that the Russians would do anything — anything — to keep that fucker in power. Trump is actively destroying the country and the Russians see Trump as sort of the anti-Gorbachev. Trump would rather destroy the United States than risk any personal criminal liability by not being president anymore. So the idea of him working hand-in-glove with the Russians to facilitate a deep fake Hunter Biden seems logical.
  2. Rudy
    Why go to the trouble of coming up with some bullshit “laptop” disinformation campaign if you’re not going to unlock its sinister second stage. House Trump is about as hysterical as you can get at this point in the political silly season and Rudy has been bouncing back and forth between the United States and the former Soviet Union playing spy. So, seems pretty obvious Something Bad is about to pop out and a deep fake of Hunter Biden is going to be it.
  3. Qanon
    This is just rebranded Protocols of the Elders of Zion which is an OG Russian active measure to (as I understand it) validate pogroms in the Russian Empire, so it seem as though the plan is something like this: Qanon –> Hunter Biden laptop –> Hunter Biden deep fake.

Add to this my continued belief that Trump will mysteriously win just like he did in 2016 by barely winning in some crucial swing states because the Russians hacked directly into our elections systems as part of a quid pro quo for Trump removing 1/3 of our troops from Germany and, well, lulz.

The fix is in.

At this point, the question is will Trump’s innate incompetence and tendency to self-own be enough to save the near-death Republic?

And, don’t forget, I’m of the opinion that even under the best of circumstances, we’re in for a surreal few months. We could see unprecedented political violence on the part of MAGA-Qanon. We could see A Very American Coup (and counter coup.) Nothing is off the table.

Good luck.

Our Coming Hunter Biden Laptop Deep Fake Debacle


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

So, that’s how Trump plans on winning. This mysterious laptop of Hunter Biden’s Republicans have discovered will have a video on it that will be released soon that makes every Qanon fucktard spooge their pants.

From Russia with love.

This is going to happen very, very soon. Probably in a few days.

We spend about a week debating as to how real it all is, but it serves the purpose of the Second Comey Letter and Trump “wins.” Soon enough, we learn it was a deep fake done by the Russians.

Add to this my continued belief that the Russians are going to hack directly into our election systems as part of a quid pro quo with Trump for him removing 1/3 of our troops from German and, well, there you go.

Trump wins and our dystopian nightmare kicks into high gear. We leave NATO, form a direct alliance with Russia and politically we’re identical to Russia. People start to get snatched off the street and pushed out of windows. We have a solid 40 years of this before the dead hand of demographics finally makes House Trump’s rule untenable.