Tag: Fuck The New Right

The Legend Of Catturd ™ Or: The Surreal Froth Within The MAGA New Right ‘Revolution’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Some seriously strange things happen within the MAGA New Right “revolution” on a fairly regular basis. It can get so bad that to an outsider like me it’s a struggle to understand how adult, educated people can act so fucking stupid and juvenile.

Off the top of my head I can think of several instances — usually involving tittering over the emails of FBI agents in love who hated Trump– where some people who should know better grossly embarrassed themselves in a very public fashion. And that doesn’t even begin to address people like Jesse Kelly who wallow in the stupidest, crassest political agitprop and then claim that they’re “proud” of it. When, of course, we know he’s just trying to corner the market on such idiotic bullshit to make a name of himself. Remember, as he would say, “Welcome to the New Right!”

Then there is the frothiest of the frothy — Catturd ™ . Every Sunday it seems, he gets something EXTREMELY STUPID trending. This makes the fucking cocksucker dipshit idiots of the MAGA New Right get a huge boner and giggle that ‘It’s a patriot thing, you wouldn’t understand.”

Oh, Jesus Fucking Christ, give me a fucking break you fucking piece of shit.

What I think is happening with Catturd is when the time comes, the account’s ability to get things trending will be weaponized. This could grow historically important if that particular switch is flipped in the middle of a Congressional certification crisis in January 2025. To think, a media narrative that decides the fate of the United States could be started by a Twitter account named “Catturd.”

Another thing that this “froth” does is allows MAGA racist cocksuckers to left off some steam in the fucking stupidest possible way so when they get called out for it by, say, people like me, they get to sit back and say, “You liberals are so humorless.”

Idiots!

It’s not funny, it’s just stupid and embarrassing.

MAGA New Right Republicans Are Craven, Not Dumb


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

One of my political pet peeves of late is how so many people on Twitter are quick to jump on this or that ostensibly “dumb” comment on the part of some MAGA New Right thought leader. Most of the time, these guys aren’t dumb at all — they’re fucking craven.

Here’s what the populists with pitchforks of Twitter miss: a lot of the “dumb” comments coming from MAGA New Right thought leaders are directed towards the base. These “thought leaders” often say things that to everyone outside their core of support seems extremely stupid — Sen. Blackburn picking a fight with Tay-Tay, for instance. Or Sen. Blackburn saying “cancel culture should be outlawed.”

It sounds very, very dumb.

But it’s not — it’s craven.

MAGA New Right thought leaders are so fucking craven that they’re willing to come across as complete idiots as long as they can goad the intended audience of their “stupid” comments — their very receptive base — into voting. Also, remember, a lot of these allegedly “stupid” MAGA New Right thought leaders are extremely well educated. They KNOW that just by being who they are that they’re going to take a pounding on social media (or, at least, Twitter.)

So, they embrace and extend this idea by tweeting stupid shit for the base, which loves it, knowing that the nattering nabobs of liberal negativism will quote-tweet whatever it is they said, amplifying the message. J.D. Vance is growing to notorious for pulling such stupid stunts.

But this is just a pet peeve. It’s not like anyone listens to me, anyway. People on Twitter are going to keep falling for this ploy on the part of the “stupid” MAGA New Right.

‘Republican Secession Scenarios’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Since someone searched for that and found this blog, I will write about it. One thing is clear — Republicans have been such a steady flow of bullshit that they are primed and ready for a secession crisis should it ever occur.

But there would need to be a catalyst, something to spark MAGA state legistatures to begin to call secession conventions. I just don’t believe Republicans have it in them to rise up and start murdering liberals en mass. They’re all talk — or frustration. Trump is a coward and a joke when it comes such shit and even if he went transactional for some reason, he’s such a pantywaist that he would hide behind the “it’s not my fault” defense. He wouldn’t own any secession and run with it. (At least, not at first, unless it got some traction.)

Yet, as a I keep writing, there are a wide array of potential secession scenarios facing us. Most of them don’t really apply to 2021 but rather the 2024-2025 timeframe. In a sense, if there was a secession crisis now it would be a win for the forces of democracy because The Good Guys would control the military and it would be pretty clear for their to be a media narrative for the broader public as to what should happen.

It’s when you have the very murky situation surrounding a potential Congressional certification fight that all hell could break loose because it would be difficult for their to be any sort of clear understanding of who was in the right. (Which would be the whole point of MAGA balking at certifying a Biden win in the first place.)

The only secession crisis I can think up that would happen in 2021 would have something to do with Cyber Ninjas in Arizona “proving” that Trump “won” the state and that sets of a series of events whereby Trump goes transactional and MAGA states start to leave the Union immediately.

So, in general, unless something really unexpected happens, we should be ok until late 2024 and early 2025. Then, we’ll either have a civil war or turn into an autocracy.

‘the next civil war in America 2021’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Apparently, within some MAGA New Right circles, there is a lot of mental energy being put into the idea that there is either going to be a violent national MAGA revolution by the end of the year, or a similar-type civil war. This blog is about as unread as you can get, and what little traffic there is now is almost exclusively from people obviously on the exact opposite end of the political spectrum form me obsessing about the exact details of a civil war or MAGA revolution this year.

There are a few ways I can imagine a civil war happening. The chief one would be the Cyber Ninjas bullshit in Arizona causes some sort of nullification crisis that turns into a secession crisis that turns into a civil war. But the only way I can imagine any sort of “violent populist MAGA New Right revolution” happening is if Trump pulled a Scalia on us and shuffled off this mortal coil peacefully in his sleep — and the MAGA ammosexuals don’t believe it and start running around, murdering people in the name of their martyred, bonkers dipshit hero.

So, it’s at least possible that there might be a civil war in 2021, but it grows less and less likely. If we can get pass August, I think we’re ok. I’m even less willing to believe this year will see any sort of violent MAGA New Right overthrow of the government.

But, I get, the people who want a violent MAGA revolution “just want to be left alone” and, as such, they want to murder people for their politics.

Damn, The MAGA New Right Definitely Has Violent Revolution On The Brain


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

In my never-ending quest to make my abstract fears about a civil war or autocracy coming to the United States concrete, I do a lot of hysterical, dystopian writing about the likelihood of either one of those things happening in the near future.

The lit thing is my Webstats indicate that out there in the aether a shit tone of MAGA New Right people are thinking about a violent MAGA revolution of some sort. Like it happening RIGHT NOW.

This is very aggravating because I write a lot about the prospect of a civil war, but a MAGA revolution is a different matter altogether. Apparently deep in the bowels of Trumplandia, a lot of MAGA New Right cocksuckers have a vague, abstract belief that they’re all going to collectively rise up and overthrow the Biden Administration.

Put up or shut up, is all I gotta say.

While I can easily imagine a Cyber Ninjas induced nullification crisis becoming a secession crisis that leads to civil war, even I struggle with the notion that MAGA is going to go full Turner Diaries and violently overthrow the government on a populist level. It really makes you wonder what’s rolling around the minds of MAGA New Right people — are they that scared of the browning of America that they think, on an abstract basis, the United States is about to have a violent fascist revolution? What the what?

I guess what is happening is the abstract fears that led to Trump in the first place have been taken to the next level — now MAGA New Right people have an abstract belief that MAGA is going to overthrow the government, that MAGA is going to “take matters into its own hands” and do what the “swamp” in D.C is unable or unwilling to do. Ugh.

All I know is a lot of the people involved in the January 6th insurrection turned out to be a bunch of cry babies. You can have all the guns you like, you bunch of fucking racist MAGA cocksuckers, but if you’re a fucking coward then that’s not going to do you much good.

Anyway, MAGA having violent revolution on the brain is not a great development. It does lend some credence to my belief that The Dead Hand of History is now in charge and the United States is fuuuuuuuuuuuucked.

Goodluck. Get a passport.

MAGA New Right’s Dangerous, Comical Magical Thinking And The Cyber Ninjas Maricopa County Election ‘Audit’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Just a brief glance at Twitter this evening proves I was right about what’s going on with the Cyber Ninjas’ “audit” of the Maricopa County election results. The Right’s bullshit echo chamber has already established a baseline of “we may never know” who really won the 2020 election. That’s just the basics of the talking points Cyber Ninjas hope to provide the cocksuckers of the MAGA New Right.

I’m sure in the far dark reaches of the MAGA New Right echo chamber, someone, somewhere is deciding that the only solution to this “proof” that Trump “won” Arizona is for MAGA state legislatures to hold conventions to see if they can “nullify” the Biden Administration. What will start off as simple magical political thinking — a joke — will quickly spread like wildfire throughout the MAGA New Right echo chamber.

As I’ve written before, one of two things will then happen. Either there will be a huge push for just enough other states to do the same sort of “audit” to prove that Trump “really won” and then we either see a demand for Trump to be named Speaker when Republicans inevitably flip the House in 2022 or we flip that stage and we go straight to the nullification crisis.

If we go the nullification route now, the crisis would have the same dynamic as what happened on January 6th. Trump and his toadies would see these “nullification” conventions as a source of ready grift cash and they would say a lot of provocative things to the base not thinking through the implications of what they were saying.

Once the bolts started popping off the Union when these “nullification conventions” become “secession conventions” a lot of the people who make up the rock solid core of the MAGA New Right base would have a pretty huge existential crisis — do they stay with the Union government or do they jump ship to any sort of putative Trumpandia rebel government? I can think of about a dozen who would make that final plunge, but the momentum would have to be pretty powerful for folks like Mike Pompeo or Tom Cotton to risk their future presidential careers by leaving the Union altogether.

Which, come to think of it, would produce a rather comical cleaving between the MAGA New Right people who proved they were willing to drink the political Koolaid and “kill” themselves on a political level within traditional American politics, and those who weren’t. Depending on who won any such civil war, you might even have a surprising number of MAGA New Right people attempt to act like nothing happened after the U.S. Military crushed Trumplandia.

But that is extremely speculative. It could be the US will just Balkanize and there really won’t be any set endgame to any civil war that began.

And, yet, even THAT is extremely speculative. It could be that this entire bullshit audit is nothing more than a talking point for the next four years and the main event will be in the late 2024 – early 2025 timeframe.

Just can’t game things out at the moment. Too many variables that could go either way.

You Know All This MAGA New Right Bullshit Ends With Them Coming After Jews, Right?


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m not Jewish, but I empathize with anyone who is attacked for being different. As such, when I was growing up, I always wanted to be black or Jewish. Anyway, one of the many pink MAGA New Right elephants in the room is the moment we turn into the autocracy they apparently crave so much, some pretty dark forces are going to pop out of our national psyche.

If historical form follows historical function, one of the things that is going to happen as we transition into America First’s Fortress America is there will be a growing collective attack on the Jewish community. And I can even tell you how it will happen — Qanon.

It’s easy to imagine some sort of MAGA New Right American autocracy being eaten up by Qanon people to the point where they go after the “liberal elites” that they think are doing all these horrific, bad things. And, strangely enough, a lot of those “liberal elites” are going to be Jewish.

So we get a replay of Nazi Germany, only in the United States.

What’s more, depending on how things work out, there could also be significant crimes against humanity against the American black and brown communities. And don’t get me started on what would happen if we go down the civil war road instead of autocracy.

Anyway. The point is — if you’re Jewish, I suggest you scream bloody murder about the growing influence of the MAGA New Right in the United States.

The Dangerous, Malevolent Magical Thinking Of The MAGA New Right


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

A lot of metrics in modern American politics indicate that we’re at the end of an era. A Big Decision is going to confront the United States very soon: autocracy or civil war. Things just can’t keep going the way they are now. Something’s gotta give.

One of the many political metrics that have me thinking seriously about getting a passport is the surreal magical thinking of the MAGA New Right when it comes to Trump’s immediate political future. American politics is being warped by something to the point that the MAGA New Right would rather concoct not just a false media narrative for themselves, but a completely imaginary reality. What, exactly is the origin of that warp is something I struggle with a lot these days. Is it race? Is it vast income inequality? What is it that is causing, in aggregate, one of the two major political parties in the United States — the Republican Party — to have been driven completely fucking insane.

They just can’t believe that Trump wasn’t REALLY re-elected. They are willing to pin their hopes on any possible idiotic conspiracy theory to further their goal of having Trump become president as soon as possible. That the MAGA New Right is so deranged that they have wrapped themselves up in the idea of Trump to the point that their entire existence is predicated on “owning the libs” is extremely disturbing shit.

But here we are.

I would note, in passing, that the MAGA New Right grift gravy train is still out there. If you want a get-rich-quick scheme that might actually work, just be a college educated (blonde) woman willing to give a cogent explanation on TV as to why Trump is still president.

One of the many reasons why I’m enraged by the MAGA New Right — besides the fact that they’re a bunch of fucking fascists — is they deny reality. They ‘re a violent personality cult that is born of racism and misogyny. I hate that. What I see as a craven idiotic ding-dong that is Trump, the MAGA New Right somehow sees as a veritable second coming of Jesus Fucking Christ. It’s surreal and extremely fucking dangerous.

At its core, this magical thinking on the part of the MAGA New Right is really a hatred of the usual ebb and flow of a liberal democracy. They want there to be A One True Way — their way — any divergence from it must be the result of fraud or some sort of Deep State conspiracy.

It’s all very, very aggravating.

I still don’t know if we’re going to drift peacefully into a MAGA New Right autocracy or if we’re going to civil war. The jury is still out on that one.

The Abstract Paranoia Over ‘Cancel Culture’ & ‘Critical Race Theory’ As The MAGA New Right’s Rearguard Action In The Culture Wars


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

By all accounts, the MAGA New Right has lost the culture wars. America is browning. The Republican Party’s policies are extremely unpopular and it refuses to have any sort of re-calibration. And there’s an entire media bullshit infrastructure design to protect the Republican Party from any sort of introspection.

So, it was inevitable that the MAGA New Right would circle the drain down to the crack hit that is simple abstract fears on the part of white Christians about “cancel culture” or Critical Race Theory.

Let’s take Cancel Culture. Here’s my best attempt at some sort of definition, from the point of view of Republicans — “Cancel Culture:’ The ruining of a conservative’s life for being conservative, usually associated with a public event or comment being recorded by smartphone that goes viral.”

Ironically, the definition has drifted considerably from what it might have been around the time of #MeToo. During that era, a lot of very powerful men — usually white — were being “canceled” for legitimately doing shitty things. There was the occasional odd excess as the revolution made its way through culture and different industries — Aziz Ansari being a prime example — but, over all, bad men did bad things and they got “canceled.”

But here we are in the post #MeTo Era and Republicans have latched on Cancel Culture because just its invocation is enough to strike terror in the hearts of evangelical white Christian women in the suburbs. From my experience, people in that particular demo live in existential terror of themselves doing something “conservative” that evil liberals record and it proceeds to go viral. They will lose their jobs and be publicly shamed just for being conservative.

Another, similar, thing that really bugs the conservatives I know is “woke” corporate culture. I think what is really going on is the MAGA New Right has lost the culture wars and, as such, corporate trainers are doing a mop up operation — shooting the survivors, if you will. But if you’re a bed rock conservative whose self-perception is “I don’t see race” (read: systemic racism) if you have to go through any type of sensitivity training you get really, really, upset.

In fact “woke” corporate culture is probably the main source of the rage against Big Tech. While I have a lot of concrete, fact-based fears about MAGA New Right POTUS Mike Pompeo throwing me in an ICE camp, my conservative relatives have abstract fears that one day Google will listen to their conversations via their phone and turn them in to the evil libtards of the Deep State.

The specific instance of someone being “canceled” that comes to mind is the police officer in the Hampton Roads are of Virginia who lost his job after an online leak of a Kyle Rittenhouse’s donation effort reveled he had contributed $20 to his defense fund.

To me, the guy got what he deserved — Rittenhouse is a deranged triple murderer. I don’t care if we found out because of a leak — if you’re on a police force, you shouldn’t be contributing any money to Rittenhouse’s defense. But that’s not how my conservative relative saw the situation. He was upset that the police officer got in trouble because of a leak. And he was upset that it was just $20.

The fact that Rittenhouse went WAY out of his way to murder people for political reasons was a lulz.

The point of all of this is the reason why Republican’s attempts to keep the base enraged by screaming hysterically about “cancel culture” or “Critical Race Theory” are so successful is the center-Right and center-Left now rarely actually ever interact with each other. In 2016, I often got into it with MAGA people about Trump. Now, this almost never happens. As such, the two sides have an exaggerated sense of what the other believes.

At the core of all of this, of course, are the some pretty potent macro trends. In general, the nation is growing browner, more secular and more open minded about more “modern” sexual mores. All these changes are happening at an alarming rate — at least for conservatives — but they don’t even really know what, exactly, bothers them so much.

FOX News, OAN and NewsMax know this on an existential level, so they give conservatives a media narrative that helps them make sense of their general unease.

All of this is very corrosive, of course. But there are no easy answers. It definitely seems, at least to me, that as I keep saying, that all of these abstract fears will cause a very concrete choice to face America soon: autocracy or civil war.

At Least The New Right Makes Sense


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Jesus H. Christ do I fucking hate the MAGA New Right. I hate MAGA, specifically, because not only do they deny reality in service of their idiot ding-dong leader, but they both hate liberals and crave their validation. Meanwhile, the New Right at least is more forthright about what their intentions are.

They’re fucking fascists.

So, in that sense, that’s something I can work with in my mind. I call them “boring” because there’s no struggle to figure out how someone could possibly believe what they believe. There’s no mystery: they’re fucking racist misogynist fascists. There’s no quibbling about if their racists or misogynists or whatever because they refuse to even acknowledge that any fact that doesn’t help them exists.

Or, put another way, the New Right is Trumpism without Trump. It’s based more on a fascist ideology that you can game out rather than an irrational need to own the libs. With the New Right, there’s no confusion over what they believe or what they’re aims are.

They’re fucking American Nazis.

The New Right isn’t a pure 1-to-1 with the Nazis, of course, because their not expansionist and, to date at least, they’re not anti-Semitic. (But that’s coming, of course.)

All I can hope is eventually history will do with the New Right what it did to the Nazis. It’s going to fucking suck getting rid of them, of course, but in the end hopefully we can move on to a new and brighter future.