by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
I am well aware what a kook I sound like. But I’m harmless. Absolutely harmless. I just get worked up sometimes. I have a few novels to work on. Please, please, leave me alone.
Tag: Fat Fuck Mike Pompeo
I’m Really Worried About What Literary Agents Will Find About Me When They Do Due Diligence
by Shelt Garner
@shetgarner
At the moment, I continue to drift towards my goal of being a traditionally published author in a delusional haze. But there is going to come a moment when I begin to query this novel when the cold, hard metrics of reality are going to come crashing down on me.
What I’m thinking about specifically is the due diligence that literary agents are inevitably going to do on me. Given that I’m 100% extroverted, I really have been out there on social media, being my drunk crank self. And that doesn’t even begin to address the various things I’ve said on this blog that could very easily get me “canceled.”
I’ve repeatedly been what some “woke cancel culture mob” people might say is “fat phobic” when I called Trump’s former Sectary of State Mike Pompeo a “fat fuck.” But not only did he deserve it because if he was ever POTUS, I’m the specific type person he would come after, but I would like to think such low brow political rhetoric is protected political speech.
But, no, any literary agent who sees that will probably just roll their eyes and move on.
That the thing about being a drunk crank who’s a loser who aspires to be a success — you just can’t win. The only difference between a drunk crank loser and someone who is “unique” is just success. But the transition from drunk crank loser to being “a colorful, unique eccentric” can be almost impossible because, generally, people are judgement assholes.
It all boils down to — I can’t help who the fuck I am. I just can’t help how old I am or that I’m a smelly “CIS white male” who likes to drink and spout off on various forms of social media while intoxictaed.
Slings and arrows and all that.
Dear FBI: I Hate Violence
by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
“You’re a delusional jerk with a good heart.”
— (late) Annie Shapiro about me.
I really hate violence. Hell, I struggle with dealing with just simple conflict, much less violence. But I know that at times I kind of get worked up — especially about fat fuck Mike Pompeo — and I also know that apparently everyone is on edge and on a hair trigger about people even seeming to be advocating any sort of harm.
JESUS CHRIST
Just the idea that anyone would think I was some sort of deranged, armed lunatic really, really bothers me. I have very strong opinions, yes, and can get drunk and worked out about this or that issue but I’m a man of peace, a man of ideas.
I can come across as something of a drunk kook, but that’s it. I’m very laid back and, most importantly, I’m not quiet and I don’t keep to myself. I’m 100% extroverted and, as such, whatever happens to be on my mind, you’re probably going to learn about it one way or another.
So, FBI, you can safely ignore me, no matter how much I may rant about how I think Mike Pompeo is a fat fuck and would-be autocrat. I swear. I’m totally, totally harmless!
The Ascendant MTG
by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
I don’t know what to make of Marjorie Taylor Greene because on one hand, she’s just another deranged MAGA moron and on the other she seems to want to be a real player in Washington. The only reason why this is both alarming and unnerving is she not only has incoming Speaker Kevin McCarthy over a barrel, making all these demands of him, but she’s also apparently in the running to be Trump’s 2024 veep.
Oh boy.
So, there there is a good chance that we may trade ding-dong Trump for ding-dong MTG at some point after 2025. Should she — gulp — become president either she would be a far more effective version of Trump or she would name someone like fat fuck Mike Pompeo to be her veep and he would would behind the throne. I call this the “Velvet Fist” scenario.
I just don’t know. While I do think it is very, very possible that MTG could become POTUS by being Trump’s veep, her actual ability to turn America into some sort of MAGA hellscape is debatable. But anything is possible, I guess.
I will note, however, that if Trump is the 2024 Republican nominee, the likelihood that America will have a Second American Civil War increases significantly. Let that marinate in your mind whenever thinking of MTG as POTUS one day.
‘Not Great, Bob:’ — Mike Pompeo, Tyrant In Waiting
by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
It’s not great how close someone like Mike Pompeo is to being president of the United States. Of all the would-be autocrats within the Republican Party at the moment — and there are at least a dozen –Pompeo is special (at least to me) because he’s so brazen about what a fucking tyrant he would be, given the opportunity. Case in point:
This is pretty basic autocratic stuff and if Pompeo became president he knows the levers of power well enough to make his tyrannical, illiberal vision of America a very painful reality. When he’s not union-busting, he’ll be leaning on major media companies by threatening their broadcast licenses or “disappearing” people like me using a weaponized ICE.
And our liberal order in America is so weak at the moment, it will probably happen in broad daylight and nothing will happen. There might be some outrage here or there but, in general, so many wealthy liberals will be on the way out of the country that no real resistance will happen in the real world where it would be needed.
But let me be clear — Mike Pompeo is just a unique strain of a whole autocratic pot dispensary of Republican would-be autocrats. By definition — the next Republican president will be a fascist autocrat and America’s slide into illiberal democracy is now an immutable force of political future history. We may punt it down the road some or change the context some, but this is it — we’re now in the final days of American democracy one way or another.
It just happens that something about former fat fuck Pompeo bothers me because he seems to really hate the press for some reason. Asshole.
But Pompeo would have to win election first, of course, and the way things are going, it definitely looks like the only way that will ever happen is if Trump picked him as his veep in 2024. Which is possible, but not probable.
Pompeo is sort of in a race against time — unless it’s old and fat Trump who becomes our autocrat in 2025, then it will be young and angry DeSantis who will politically cockblock his chances of being our first autocrat. So, I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see if Trump’s veep is someone like Pompeo or if it’s someone like MTG. Only time will tell.
Would-Be Autocrat, Mike Pompeo
by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
I feel a personal distaste for Mike Pompeo because I know, just know, that should he ever become POTUS that I am exactly the type of person he would sick ICE on. He hates the press and is the worst of the various would-be autocrats America faces in that regard.
One thing about him I’ve always found both hilarious and sad is how he clung on to Trump to the very, very end, to the point that he embarrassed himself — and America — by having to turn around his airplane in the middle of the skys of the Atlantic when it became clear that even if he did not want to face reality that the rest of the world was. They just wouldn’t meet with him anymore because, lulz, Trump fucking loss.
Flash forward a few years and who should be sniping at Trump on Twitter but his old Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo. A lot of people dismiss Pompeo as not having a chance to be POTUS, but I’m not so sure. I could see Trump picking him as his veep for 2024 and then becoming president that way.
Regardless, I have no personal vendetta against him. Whatever. To me, he’s just one of a dozen other would-be autocrats I have to worry about. But just strikes me as a big old dickhead who hates democracy and would put me — and people like me — in a camp if he had the power to do so.
I Do *Not* Know Why Someone From The Justice Department Looked At Your LinkedIn
I wrote a post about myself but it never said anything about the motives of the Justice Department looking at people’s LinkedIns in general. I put a rhetorical question in the title.
After years of it being used by people worried like I was, I have changed it, hoping it will no longer be indexed and found by people panicking about this thing happening to them, too.
Sorry.
Hard Power Vs. Soft Power
by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
One thing that is so interesting is how my Traditionalist relatives are not satisfied with having hard, legal power. MAGA and the conservative movement in general is ascendant.
If they don’t manage to bungle the transition into autocracy and push the United States into a needless Second Civil War, there’s a good chance that they’ll have very hard power for decades to come. But that’s not good enough for them — they want soft power, too.
The Traditionalists in my family are enraged by the soft power of the “woke” movement. Even after I beg and plead with them to see how the woke movement has only soft power, they just don’t care. They hate that “Woke Culture” exists at all and want to destroy it. Period.
I assume this comes from how much they hate the perceived media narrative where they fear they will be “canceled” just for being conservative. While this is a valid fear, sad to say, if push came to shove, I would much rather have hard legal power than the soft power that woke people have.
So, I don’t know what to tell you. In the end, it’s likely that my Traditionalist relatives will be the backbone of America’s autocracy. My relatives will have only one red line — ME. And by the time I vanish because I cross President Mike Pompeo by constantly calling him out as a fat fuck, it will be woefully too late.
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