Tag: Chvrches

Yes, Tik-Tok, People Want To Dance — Just Not To Fucking Disco


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Maybe it’s because it’s a song-and-dance app, but I’ve seen a lot of disco-themed dancing on Tik-Tok of late. I generally fucking hate most disco because I’m more of a dance pop rock person. I like at least a bit of edge to what I listen — or dance — to. I’m well aware of the meta-social-gender aspect of how great and wonderful the Age of Disco was because the patriarchy was slayed and everyone was free to be gay and do coke off a twink’s ass.

Ok, I get it. And that’s a valid argument –I still fucking hate most disco.

I want music that’s got a beat and you can dance to it — but of the pop rock variety. We’ve had almost 20 years of shitty music that inhabits a vague space known as “Adult Contemporary.” It’s bland, corporate and non-threatening. And, yet, oddly enough, in just the last few years, it’s clear that a number of huge artists are hot on the trail of The New Sound.

For instance, Miley Cyrus keeps covering old rock and New Wave chestnuts as if she knows what she wants to sing — but she can’t find it in modern music. Her latest album is soooo close to what I imagine Rona Rock, the New Sound, would be like.

Meanwhile, Olivia Rodrigo is doing something similar. Her debut album has a lot of wink and nod references to New Wave music. And, yet, it’s still a pretty safe album. It’s pretty much just a pop album full of songs that could be safely played next to an Ariana Grande song on existing Top 40 radio.

It’s Chvrches’ “Screen Violence” album that is exactly what I’ve been looking for. It’s an album that is essentially a throwback to the good old days of dance pop rock by way of Chvrches synth stylings.

More of this!

But the point is — all I would need is the first 10 seconds of “How Not To Drown” and I would play it at Nori in Seoul on a Friday night in late 2006. (Another song from that album, “Nightmares” is a banger, too.) And I think if Miley Cyrus and Olivia Rodrigo swerved in that direction with their next albums that it would be a two-fer: old farts like me would love and the youngins who know jackshit about music produced before cellphones would also sit up an take notice.

And, yet, absolutely no one listens to me.

Rona Rock: Chvrches’ ‘How Not To Drown’ Is A Bop


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m natively good at a few things. Among them is, apparently, being a pop rock DJ. Just in the last few months, I’ve started to notice an uptick in the type of music I would have played at Nori in Seoul. I call it “Rona Rock” because, well, lulz, that sounds cool.

But the song that hits the sweet spot for a good tune that I would have played at Nori the moment I heard it is Chvrches’ new song “How Not To Drown.” It’s definitely got that pop rock vibe to it. The type of song that you could play in primetime on a Friday night at the bar and people might endup dancing on the tables before it was over with — especially if it was the first time they had heard it and they really liked it.

It’s very danceable and it has that thump-thump-thump bass needed to get people out shaking their grove thang.

Source: Internet

The thing I would note is — whatever Chvrches is doing, they need to sprinkle it in the drinks of Olivia Rodrigo and Miley Cyrus. “How Not To Drown” is exactly the “new sound” those two women seem to be struggling to discover. It’s pop rock, people! People want to dance to rock music! Why is this so hard for the corporate shills of the modern music industry to understand?

That The Cure’s Robert Smith is involved in “How Not To Drown” is a testament to exactly what I’m talking about. It pains me to no end that Olivia Rodrigo and Miley Cyrus and thrashing about, looking for the New Sound and they probably won’t notice that Chvrches has found it.

Oh My God, What The Fuck Happened To Chvrches?


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

So, there I was, thinking of my old favorite, Chvrches. I pulled them up on Spotify, thinking they were still doing their really unique synth-pop-rock brand of music.

The first, most recent, song of theirs I listened to left me cold, to say the least. It was very much pretty much standard Modern Music. Apparently, the song in question, Here With Me, was a huge hit for them. Surreal.

So, I guess pour one out (again) for good music.