Tag: celebrity crushes

Cara Delevingne — My Celebrity Crush Of The Moment

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m well aware of not only how bonkers Cara Delevingne is but how she’s not all that interested in men, but I find something about her very attractive. She’s a real babe. If you want “my type” — even though I don’t really have one — Delevingne is in the sweetspot.

Cara Delevingne

I suppose some of her appeal is she’s interesting. She has an air of something really unique that catches one’s eye whenever she’s in your mind. She is very much in the same vein as my other British celebrity crush, Alexa Chung. Both women are witty and interesting and self-aware enough that they’re greater than the sum of their beauty.

Alexa Chung

All this makes me think about how I wish I hadn’t blown out an emotional knee because of ROKon Magazine. If that had not happened, I have the innate photographic ability that I could very well have bounced to New York City after Seoul and tried to be a professional fashion photographer.

But…that was moment has passed, I’m afraid. Even if I get what I want, say, because I stick the landing with my first novel and suddenly have the funds to make some of my other dreams become a reality, I’m just too old.

I have to accept that any success I have will have a far different context than I hoped I might have when I was living in Seoul as an expat in my mid-30s. I’m almost 50 now and, well, lulz. even if I become very wealthy overnight….the whole context would be different. I would be mature and “wise” and just not able to do the crazy, fun things that younger people do without even thinking about it.

Ugh. I hate being od.

It’s Comical How Much The Internet Is Everywhere & Nowhere All At Once

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m a nobody. I live in the middle of nowhere. And, really, at the moment, the most interesting thing about me is I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things. I have a crush on a few celebrities — don’t we all — but, in general, while I may be a “delusional jerk with a good heart,” in general, I’m EXTREMELY HARMELESS.

But sometimes I grow worried that even if I got out of my way to hide that I’m writing about someone like, say, Emily Ratajkowski, The Powers That Be track it down and judge me, think I’m sort of crazed fan or something.

Please. Come on. I just find her the best looking woman in the world at the moment. That’s it. That’s the extent of my interest in her. I only even bring any of this up because of a very, very dumb misunderstanding between myself and Alexa Chung’s “people” when I was writing a lot about HER in the past.

Hopefully I’m jumping to conclusions. Please. I hope I’m right that I’m just assuming something about this particular potentially non-situation. It all goes against my self-perception. That’s why it bothers me.

*I* know I’m just a harmless nobody in the middle of nowhere. Why is it so hard for other people to give me the benefit of the doubt?

Sick Sad World

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

It’s just sad that a guy can’t have a celebrity crush anymore without the actual person you have the crush on somehow, someway finding out about it through their social media team (if nothing else) and growing concerned.

Or maybe it’s just that I, specifically, have been writing about someone in what I felt was an obscure corner of the Web. But if anything, I’ve learned there is no “obscure corner of the Web” anymore. Everything you put online is everywhere and nowhere at the same time. So if you’re a middle-aged weirdo who just fancies a celebrity because of their looks and wit, then, well, watch out. People are going to be profiling you left and right.

But whatever. Anyone who is actually, like, paying fucking attention, would realize I’m completely harmless. I may be something of an eccentric, but I don’t feel anything I’ve written online would actually concern anyone. Or maybe I’m overthinking it. Maybe what I fear is going on isn’t going on.

Yet I just don’t want to risk it. I don’t want the hassle of a celebrity’s social media team poking back at me, looking at my LinkedIn profile and the like. It definitely puts a chill on things to write about when you’re as bored as I am right now. I really need to get back to work on my novel. I just have to summon up the courage to face my fears when it comes to writing it. That’s kind of tough.