Tag: burner accounts

The Mystery of Celebrity Burner Accounts & The Wisdom Of Middle Age

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’ve finally reached the age where….meh…I just don’t care that much about catching the attention of “celebrities.” The point is *I* want to be a celebrity. I just don’t care about the rather mundane idea of catching the attention of a celebrity.

So what.

But what I AM interested in, is celebrity burner accounts.

I find the idea endlessly intriguing because there’s something of a kabuki dance to the whole thing. As a celebrity, you have two choices when it comes to social media. Totally ignore it, or use lots of burner accounts.

What’s even more crazy is there are some celebrities who are SO well known that they could open a burner account under their own name and….no one would believe it was them unless it was verified.

Anyway. If I was younger –significantly younger — I would find a random celebrity to grow obsessed with as part of a running gag. But, as I learned with Alexa Chung, it’s just not worth it. We live in an age where anyone doing anything weird is automatically assumed to be a psycho killer.

So. No. It’s just not worth it.

I’ve really grown more focused on being as productive as possible these days. I have not one must several novels I’m working on at the moment. So, lulz, maybe, if I make it big, I will be one of those celebrities who lives on social media through a bunch of burner accounts.

Of Burner Accounts


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Very few people read this blog — or pay me much attention. And, usually, those who are paying attention to my rantings have grown extremely tired of me talking about novels that I keep talking about how great they’re doing but they have nothing to read.

Add to this how I seem to misspell important words — even in titles! — or use the wrong word or forget a word, and it’s easy to see how I can easily be seen as an Internet crank.

Yes, yes, I know.

Ok, I get it.

But my momma always used to tell me I was “special,” and, as such, besides being obsessive and prone to hyperbole, I’m also delusional. And, to top it off, as the late Annie Shapiro said when she was mad at me, I’m a “delusional jerk with a good heart.”

So there.

But there is something I do know about myself — I draw attention to myself, sometimes without even realizing it. And over the years, I’ve gotten the sense that maybe (maybe?) a few people of note may have followed me on Twitter using burner accounts. (This doesn’t even begin to address the occasional mysterious person from NYC or LA — or that one person who seems to bounce around the country a lot — who pop up in my Webstats.)

And…yet…I try not to get too worked up about such things. It’s too easy to give things a narrative that doesn’t exist. I’ve done such bullshit before I’m still smarting about it.

Just because you have a vague hunch about something, doesn’t mean it’s true.