Tag: Blue Meanies

Future Headlines: April 2025 — Stewart Takes Command

WASHINGTON D.C. — In a stunning historic series of events, the House of Representatives yesterday named comedian Jon Stewart as Speaker of the House. Within moments of this surreal vote, a joint statement by Speaker Stewart and the Joint Chiefs of Staff declared that because of the 14th Amendment both the presidency and the vice presidency were officially vacant.

See reportage of the beginning of World War 3 on pages 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

In line with this decision, Speaker Stewart was sworn in as 47th President of the United States in a nod to the legal theory that Trump was never president in the first place. The Red State reaction to these stunning turn of events was swift. Last night saw the a majority of the Red Southern states call up secessionist conventions.

The Commonwealth of Virginia, however, was wracked with such political violence that no decision could be made about calling such a convention there.

Meanwhile, the nation was gripped with the fear of a race war in the South because of the massive political difference between Red whites and Blue African Americans. A number of notable Southern African American politicians call for peace and calm. But the rage of the African American community within much of the South was proving difficult to contain as massive crowds attempted to obstruct the ability for secessionist conventions to be held at all.

Now-President Jon Stewart gave an address to the nation from the Oval Office making it clear that any attempt on the part of Red States to secede was illegal and would be dealt with in an appropriate manner.

“We defeated secession once, we can do it again,” President Stewart said.

The nation now waits to see what happens next.

Future Headlines: Blue Meanies & The Taking Of Trump Tower, Day 20

March, 2025
NEW YORK CITY — A radical resistance group calling themselves “the Blue Meanies” continued their occupation of Trump Tower, with no end in sight. The group’s long-term seizure of the NYC landmark was made possible in large part by the support of not just of the population of the city, but the city government.

There continue to be rumblings at City Hall that if the Trump Administration attempted to recapture the tower that a “free state” would be declared. These events happen as the Trump Administration’s long-term viability continues to be questioned.

The U.S. Military has all but halted its operations in major Blue portions of the nation as a Women’s Strike called 48 hours ago has now expanded into a General Strike. Millions of Blues across the United States have simply not gone into work, causing a brutal slowdown in national economic activity.

“This is far worse than what happened briefly during COVID,” Morning Joe economic analyst Steve Rattner said. “We risk a long-term global depression if this continues just a few more days. The economic pressure on the part of the Blue Meanies to do something about the Trump Administration is real.”

All indications point to the Blue Meanies leader Jon Stewart — who has been repeatedly photographed in various comic poses within what was once Donald Trump’s inner sanctum — is at the center of the growing national opposition to the Trump Administration.

“I think we need to take a long, hard look at the 14 Amendment,” Stewart said in a late night press conference deep inside Trump Tower. “It is clear that Trump isn’t even legally president and, as such, can legally be removed from office. In fact, I believe the office of POTUS to be vacant.”

Stewart denied rumors that he expected to be installed as acting president by the U.S. Military if Trump was forcibly removed from office.

“We, and everyone else, just want the Constitutional process to be followed,” Stewart said.

Meanwhile, the president has made it clear that the seizure of his beloved Trump Tower “will not stand.” Given the reluctance of the U.S. Military to follow his orders, he has put out a call for “MAGA shocktroops” to flood Blue areas of the country which are currently resisting his rule.

The governors of several major Red States have called a conference to co-ordinate what their response might be if the goals of the Blue Meanies are met and Trump is deposed.

“Secession is not off the table,” Florida Governor Ron DeSantis tweeted.

The chaos in the United States has not gone unnoticed by the outside world (see related stories). All evidence suggests that the DPRK may invade South Korea at any moment. The rumors that Trump may be using his “special relationship” with Kim Jung Un to start a distraction on the Korean peninsula were vehemently denied by a White House spokesman.

Invoking The Insurrection Act Would Not Be The Magic Fascist Pixie Dust That Trump Thinks It Would Be

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I continue to struggle with how, exactly, Trump could go full tyrant in 2025 by just invoking the Insurrection Act while corrupting the levers of power. That’s it? That’s all he’s going to do? And it’s not like all of that is going to happen in a vacuum.

The U.S. Military is not the Nazi SA. It’s a democratic institution to its core. It’s not going to be cool with being seen as MAGA thugs, hell bent on “making America great again” over a bunch of corpses. If anything, if Trump pushes that particular pressure point too much, the military will either implode from internal division on the subject or turn around and topple Trump for being such a dick.

What Trump will need is some sort of national paramilitary group, an American SA. But it would take 18 months to organize and call up the 500,000 bloodthirsty thugs to make up any sort of American SA. That would be plenty of time for a General Strike or Women’s Strike to persuade the U.S. Military to stand down or even help Blues topped Trump. (But even then, all that might do is cause a National Divorce and a civil war, so, lulz?)

Yes, Trump would weaponize the existing ICE infrastructure, but that STILL would not be enough goons for what Trump wants to do. Blues make up about half the population and once it became clear that Trump wasn’t “joking” about becoming a tyrant towards them….anything might happen.

This is not to say that Trump can’t get what he wants, just that maybe there’s more going on than I realize. If there isn’t, early 2025 could be very, very unstable. The key thing about Trump is he’s always been a one-man unpreceded stress test on the American political system.

Maybe Blues need to turn into “Blue Meanies” if Trump is re-elected.

If he uses the U.S. Military on the Blue parts of the U.S. to rule as a military dictator there, while being a more traditional autocrat with his Red State supporters….yikes. Trump could cause the situation in the United States to grow so unstable that many, many people die for no damn reason. The US could be wracked with revolution, counter-revolution, civil war all happening in the context of WW3.

I still believe that MAGA and Trump will soon be as loaded in the global mind as the Nazis and Hitler. Trump could be responsible for at least 1 billion dead if you factor in WW3 happening as a number of nuclear-tipped regional wars turn hot because the USA is too preoccupied with blowing itself up to do being the world’s “indispensable nation.”

But, thankfully, I can’t predict the future. No one can. But it does seem, in general, that if Trump wins re-election that we’re going to the show. That will be it. Either the US turns into a MAGA hellscape, or we somehow manage to destroy MAGA and found a Third Republic.

May God have mercy on our souls.

Trump’s Destruction of The Free Press May End Not With A Bang, But With a Whimper

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The thing about Trump is he is easy to both overestimate and underestimate. You just never quite know what the fucking tyrant is going to do. It’s the same way with the free press. It could be that he is able to rub his two brain cells together in such a way that the average person won’t even notice that the United States no longer has a free press.

Behind the scenes, he will use a combination of plutocrat shenanigans and pressure to subtly shift the tenor of American press coverage of his tyrannical administration. We’ll just wake up one day and late night talk shows will have been purged and strangely the new hosts wont talk about politics in their monologues anymore and if they do, they simply sound like something you might see on Fox News. SNL will be cancelled simply because Lorne Michaels has retired and that will be that.

That’s if we’re lucky.

If we’re NOT lucky, Tyrant Trump will be far more direct and ham-handed in his attack on the free press. If Tyrant Trump goes about things THAT way, then…oh boy. We’re going to the show. Because to attack the free press in a direct way would bump up against American self-perception of “living in a free country” AND it would provide ready media-friendly martyrs.

Remember, all of this would be happening the context of Trump strangling lady liberty in an already rather brazen manner. So…lulz? I don’t know what to tell you, folks. Keep the faith. Things could get pretty bumpy starting in late 2024, early 2025.

What If Trump Just Refuses To Leave Office?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

All of this is extremely speculative — Trump hasn’t even become president again — but it is clear that he wants to rule the United States has nothing short of a military dictator given the opportunity. Even though he will be old as hell by the end of his second term, he is so stupid and so lazy he could still destroy the country by simply living long enough to destroy the Constitution.

If we’re lucky, he will at least demand a Constitutional Convention to enshrine America First agenda in a legal way. If we’re not lucky, he will simply do whatever the fuck he wants and use his pardon power on himself and others to get away with it.

This is the point where MAGA people call me insane and tell me to “stop drinking varnish.” I will note that such MAGA people seem to want it both ways. They support a man who tells us all in no uncertain terms what tyrannical things he wants to do…then they get upset when people like me take him both literally and seriously.

Don’t quite know what to do about that.

But the issue remains — a second Trump Administration could be the thing that single handedly not only destroys America, but causes WW3 to happen. I’m not kidding. That is a real possibility. Trump could be responsible for the death of at least 1 billion people if any number of nuclear-tipped regional conflicts went hot.

I stand by my belief that one day Trump and MAGA will be just as loaded and controversial as Hitler and the Nazis.

The Blue Meanie Vision Thing

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

This is very, very silly, but it’s a fun twist on a very, very serious issue — what the fuck are we going to do about Tyrant Trump? I’ve gotten it into my head that rather than calling people who oppose Trump “Blues” or “NeverTrumpers” you could use the rubric “Blue Meanies.”

I like this because even though the Blue Meanies are ultimately defeated by the The Beatles in the movie, they’re pretty cool and they get shit done. They instill fear in their opponents, too. I like using this term because there is an whole iconography you could tap into.

So, technically, you could wear, say, a Blue Meanie lapel pin and no one would — at least initially — would know the political significance. But I think that while this is a cool idea, it’s just too silly for anyone to be willing to embrace it. It is fun to think about, however.

I like the idea of otherwise serious people thinking of themselves as “Blue Meanies” hell bent not on destroying Pepperland, but, rather saving America’s birthright of democracy. They’re only “mean” because they’re pissed off at Tyrant Trump and his ilk and they want things to go back to normal.

Anyway. Barring some indication that anyone cares about this idea, I’m going to try — TRY — to not mention it again because I’m afraid I’m making a fool out of myself.

Video: Idle Rambling About The ‘Blue Meanie’ Concept

The Rise Of The Blue Meanies

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I know the Blue Meanies are the bad guys in the movie who are defeated by The Beatles. I just find the idea of Blues turning into Blue Meanies for a little while in 2025 because of Tyrant Trump amusing.

Maybe Blues need to become Blue Meanies to save America. (Wink)

Potential Scenarios for late 2024, early 2025:

  1. Trump Loses — gives up
    It’s a real possibility that all the wet dreams of earnest, well meaning liberals like Mueller, She Wrote will come true and lulz, not only does Trump lose, but he just gives up. The “Good Guys” win and that’s it. We punt our structural problems down the road another four years.
  2. Trump Loses — demands a National Divorce
    In this scenario, Trump loses, but instead of just slinking away, he frantically demands a National Divorce. A lot — A LOT — would depend on, say, Texas in this scenario. There is a greater-than-zero chance that Texas could very well call up a Secessionist Convention if Trump demanded a National Divorce. This would, in turn, cause a civil war.
  3. Too Close to call (1876 / 2000 endgame)
    If this happens, then, holy shit are we in trouble. The country would collapse into civil war and revolution. If we just didn’t know who the next president was going to be…whoa buddy. Chaos. Violence. Collapse. Fourth Turning.
  4. Biden Loses — It’s a Lulz
    If Biden loses and 1 million smug Twitter liberals leave the country ASAP, then, lulz, we turn into an autocracy and that’s that. We wake up in a few years and President-for-Life Trump is invading Canada for some dumb reason.
  5. Biden Loses — Glorious Revolution
    In this scenario, Trump wins but goes full Tyrant in such a way that Blues stand their ground and organize things like a General Strike and or a Women’s Strike. The U.S. Military, rather than being Trump’s SA goons, stands down and maybe uses the guise of the 14th Amendment to overthrow Trump and we have President James Mattis for a few months until a Constitutional Convention can be called up.
  6. The 1872 Election Endgame
    Look it up. It’s bad.

I’m not advocating anything! I just like to run scenarios. It’s a way to make my abstract fears concrete and, as such manageable. As such, let’s imagine Trump goes “full Tyrant” as soon as he’s sworn in on January 20th. We already know he wants to invoke the Insurrection Act on day one.


Now, remember, Tyrant Trump is going to be a military dictator in regards to Blue States and just a regular olde autocrat when it comes to Red States. As such, it seems this will be a very, very volatile situation because Red States will be treated a lot differently than Blue or rebellious parts of Purple States.

And the key thing to remember is we would have no idea if any attempt to depose Tyrant Trump would…actually work. It could be that any attempt to bring him down would only make him stronger. That’s what happen in Turkey a few years ago when there was a coup attempt against their autocrat. He’s still there, more powerful than ever.

We may all be Antifa in 2025, if Tyrant Trump goes full tyrant.

But here are a few ways I could imagine we might force Tyrant Trump out of office

  1. General Strike / Women’s Strike
    Things would have to be REALLY BAD for anything like this to work. It’s just not in American political DNA for average Americans to strike en masse nationally for a specific purpose. It’s much more of a European thing. But Trump goes full tyrant (at least in Blue and parts of Purple States) I could see Radical Moderates popping up to the point that a General or Women’s Strike might actually be practical. Even if it was just the major Blue States, if there was a General or Women’s strike, that would really cripple the national economy to the point that you MIGHT get the U.S. Military to either stand down or even go so far as to topple Trump altogether.
  2. Overreach On His Part
    There is a chance that Trump goes nuts against Blue States. He goes sucked into throwing more and more troops at Blue States to the point that there is a general uprising against him there because he will be a military dictator there. This could cause the Blue parts of Purple and Red States to rebel as well. There would be growing pressure on the U.S. Military to just stand down or to even to topple Tyrant Trump altogether. Maybe. It’s at least possible. I can hear Tom Nichols telling me I’m full of shit as I write this.
  3. Use the 14th Amendment to Force Him Out (With Help From U.S. Military)
    There is a lingering unresolved issue surrounding Trump’s eligibility to be president because of the insurrection clause of the 14th Amendment. Now, remember, during Reconstruction the Constitution’s demand that states of a “republican form of government” gave Radical Republicans what they needed to prevent defeated slave states from returning to the Union. So, I could see out of sheer desperation — and some legal cover — that a very, very distressed U.S. Military might say, “Well, the 14th Amendment says Trump isn’t even POTUS.” That would at least potentially get red of Trump and his Veep. I would be cool with that, even if it meant we were stuck with President Johnson. (Again, I’m not advocating anything, just saying this as a general sentiment.)
  4. A Specific Demand For a Constitutional Convention
    Any attempt to overthrow Tyrant Trump would have to be done in the context of specific demands for structural political reform. For me, that would mean deposing Trump and MAYBE a military junta that would rule specifically long enough for a Constitutional Convention to be held. So, we might have President Mattis for a few months while all of that was going on.
  5. A Social Media App Designed To Organize National Direct Action
    One thing that might help bring down Tyrant Trump would be a social media app designed specifically with organizing direct action like strikes built into it. That’s just a daydream.

    All of this is just a daydream at this point. I absolutely fucking hate violence of any sort. I would rather just leave the country that have to worry about violence. But, all of this is political mental masturbation to make me feel better, to not feel so helpless in the face of macro historical and political trends I can’t control.

    And remember — it could be that any attempt to depose Trump that was successful would just cause a National Divorce and, as such, even more tragedy. So, hopefully, we won’t have to worry about it. Mueller, She Wrote keeps telling me someone or something is going to save us, right?