by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
I hate to break it to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, but she’s hurtling towards a unique position in modern American political history which lies at the confluence of politics, celebrity and, alas, gender politics.
And, as such, I feel like — for no other reason than no one reads this blog — make a few gentle suggestions about what she should do next.
First, I think she needs to accept that her old life is over. She’s no longer simply a House Representative, she’s a cultural figure. She now lives under the rules of a modern celebrity, not that of a lowly freshmen in Congress. The tipping point is rushing towards us where some pretty basic issues about her private life are going to come into focus.
Chief among them being, her romantic status. Apparently she has a long-term boyfriend, which would account for the lack of sizzling bikini pictures being leaked of her. If she had a string of boyfriends in her romantic wake, one of the would have been a big enough dick to release a sexxxy snap or two of her by this point.
But, thankfully, that hasn’t happened yet and maybe never will.
As an aside, it’s amusing that when she wore white for the State of the Union address for political reasons, the white pretty much made it clear she’s a stunning woman. She usually wears dark colors in an effort to hide how drop dead gorgeous she is. The white, however, especially at such a public event, may be looked back upon as one of several tipping points in her career.
And, yet, the issue of how hot she is remains and she’s going to have to simply do some triage on that front rather than ignore it altogether. There’s going to come a point where people are going to want to know her boyfriend’s name, when — and if — they’re getting married and if they plan to have children. (And how many!)
If I were her, I would get way ahead of this issue by getting her PR people to setup a value-free, vacuous profile of her and her boyfriend for, say People Magazine. A huge amount of pressure would be eased once a lot of people on both sides of the political spectrum knew off the top of their head who she was involved with.
As it stands, a lot of horny old Boomer Men are watching FOX News to learn about her because in a very Jungian (Freudian?) way, they are lusting after her because they believe she may be sexually available.
But it’s established she’s dating someone and has been for some time, that will dodge a huge issue for her down the road. Her physical attractiveness is something that is, to date, unprecedented in American politics because she’s of an age where a lot of MAGA Masters of The Universe in NYC could honestly imagine they could play a Mr. Big role in her life, given the opportunity.
As I said, no one reads this blog and I feel reasonably comfortable I can give this advice and no one will listen to me. I mean, they don’t listen to me about anything else, do they?