Tag: AOC

Mystery Of The Universe: How Does AOC Keep That Smoking Hot Bod Under Wraps?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Because of her politics, the fact that AOC is drop dead gorgeous is a far more touchy subject than you might think. On Twitter, at least, you can’t even make a joke about it without people jumping down your throat.

AOC being hot and young.

Ok, I get it, we have to judge her exclusively on her mind, not her looks.

Or, should I say, we SHOULD judge her exclusively on her mind, not her looks. But can you imagine the epic blow up on social media and the hysterical MAGA echo chamber if even ONE photo of AOC in a skimpy bikini somehow was leaked? It would break the Internet.

The Right would demand her expulsion from Congress while at the same time they might break their penises from masturbating so hard to the picture.

Which, of course, is exactly why she keeps her physical beauty under wraps. But you have to hand it to AOC — she’s been very, very lucky. It says something that there is NOT ONE photo of a young “Sandy” in a string bikini enjoying a hot NYC summer on some rooftop.

It’s crazy.

The demand for such a forbidden non-existent bikini picture is so potent that people keep coming to this site thinking I have one, when all I ever do is write about how the pictures they want so bad don’t exist!

Maybe there’s something going on that I don’t know about. It is possible that she closes off beaches so she can wear a bikini? Are the press protecting her in some way? If so….lulz. I don’t care.

I totally get why she is on lockdown about such things. I just find it really hysterical that so many people search for such photos, thinking that somewhere on the Internet they exist.

But it is really sad that she has to be so careful about her body. She’s human and we should be able to respect her mind while at the same time she have the right to wear a bikini in public if the mood hits her. And, yet, here we are, with that being impossible because of what renobs the Right is made up of.

Idle Spring Speculation

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m aware that it’s taboo to even mention that AOC is a smoking hot babe. Ok, I get it. We’re only allowed to talk about her policy agenda. And, yet, AOC really is a stunning babe. If any bikini AOC pictures ever leaked, the Internet would probably break.

The only reason why I bring this issue up is someone in Kigali, Butare, Rwanda randomly popped up in my Webstats. This is total, baseless speculation, but I get to think about AOC in a bikini, so here we go — if AOC was going to run around in a bikini in public, it probably would be somewhere as remote as Rwanda.

Anyway. I hope no such bikini pics are leaked. I’d like to see AOC able to run for POTUS. That would be a lot of fun, I think.

In The End, Emrata May Be The Only Woman Who Can Be POTUS

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

One of the conundrums of a modern woman trying to run for public office is they have to be totally, completely sexless. They’re not permitted, in any way, to show any skin in a traditional feminine way.

So, as such, it’s possible that every major female politician will rise up through the ranks, only to be destroyed because bikini pics — or whatever — pops out. Which makes you wonder, maybe the only way a woman can ever become POTUS is if her no0ds are already baked into the cake.

Maybe, then, 30 years from now, only someone like Emily Ratajkowski can successfully run for POTUS because, lulz, we’ve already seen her n0ods so it’s all a lulz.

Or not. Who knows. But I do know that it’s very annoying that otherwise qualified women will be prohibited from going up the chain of political command just because their n0ods leaked.

I will note, again, that AOC is a smoking hot babe and it’s kind of surreal that to date we have not see ANY bikini pictures of her. Anyway. I hope they don’t ever leak so she has a decent shot of being POTUS one day.

A Modest Proposal: Doug Jones For POTUS

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

As the United States continues to careen towards a dark and potentially catastrophic 2024 election cycle, there is definitely one obvious way to punt our problems down the road for four more years: elect a conservative Democrat like Doug Jones (or Joe Manchin).

I say this because only a conservative Democrat would have the political credibility with both sides to the point that they could provide the leadership, the glue to hold the country together for one more presidential cycle. And, yet, this particular dream is also really impractical.

My dream of a Doug Jones or Joe Manchin becoming the Democratic nominee is a political phantasm because it would be a real struggle to wrangle the AOC wing of the Democratic Party into such a thing. Though, I think a Jones (or Manchin) / AOC ticket in 2024 would be exactly the type of thing that would keep America from collapsing.

But there is a big problem — I know people who literally believe the Democratic Party is Satanic and no amount of reminding them that it IS possible for someone to be conservative and a Democrat would change their mind that, by definition, a Democratic president wants us all to be gay and arrest anyone who gets a Transgender person’s pronouns wrong.

I’m not kidding. I wish I was, but I’m not.

So, in a sense, we’re just too far gone. The die is cast — some sort of major crisis is going to happen around late 2024, early 2025. We just don’t know if it’s of the civil war or MAGA-themed autocracy variety at the moment.

Americans Are Such Nerds — Of Sanna Marin & AOC

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I have to confess that I have a growing celebrity crush on Finnish Prime Minster Sanna Marin. She’s a real babe. Whenever I think maybe she’s a little too young to be the prime minster of anything, I remember that I see AOC as a viable political candidate for American president and she’s younger!

But let’s get to the point — Ms. Marin is in hot water for being her hot self a party and doing a gyrating dance with a bunch of friends in private. Can you imagine if footage of AOC doing that came out? OH MY GOD, Twitter would crash with all the hot takes.

Which, of course, brings us to another issue — maybe all us gray beards need to chill out and accept that things are changing. The Western world is in dire need of a political changing of the guard and, as such, These Things Are Going To Happen.

Even though I find Emily Ratajkowski often extremely disingenuous when it comes to how she Just Wants To Be Taken Seriously, she does have a point when it comes to how Olds are going to have to accept that at some point in the not-to-distant future there will be a major female political figure that we’ve seen naked in some respect. Too many young women have done some sort of porn before they realize how much doing it will change their lives forever for that not to be the case.

Now, obviously, there is the looming issue of how I fear we’re going to become an autocracy or have a civil war to worry about. That would make all this gauzy talk about nekkid female pols all very moot. We’re all going to be too busy running for our lives to think about such things.

And, I will note how surreal it is that AOC has successfully put her private life on lockdown. It’s incredible. Other than that one video of her dancing on a rooftop, there’s not been one leak of her running around in a bikini. Not that that should be a problem, but given that the entire American Right wants to hate fuck her, she’s probably wise to do such a thing.

Anyway. It’s just sad that Olds are so uptight about young women doing young women things once they obtain power. I really like what I’ve seen of Ms. Marin. She seems really cool. I would recommend she stay away from Trump. God only knows what creepy old man things he would attempt on her.

Jon Stewart / AOC 2024(?)

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Politico has run a piece suggesting Jon Stewart run for POTUS in 2024. I have long thought he would be a great president. But there is a problem — and that’s Jon Stewart.

He likes to have power but he doesn’t like the responsibility that comes with power. Time and again while he was hosting The Daily Show, the moment people pointed out how politically powerful he was, he would fall back to “but I’m just a comic” and tell a fart joke.

For him to run for office — especially high office like POTUS — he would have to grow a lot more comfortable with being taken seriously and with people being aware of his power. As it stands, he seems a lot more interested in having a middling podcast and playing with rescue goats in a glorified petting zoo.

But if you could get him out of that mindset, he definitely would be a great presidential candidate and a great president. Maybe Stewart / AOC 2024? But there is, of course the problem that the country is falling apart and Republicans are going to pretty much do everything in their power to steal the 2024 election. As such, we may have a civil war if we don’t turn into an autocracy.

One interesting thing about Stewart is he is far more a traditional liberal than one might think. He is tight with Dave Chappelle and for some of the people on the Far Left that, unto itself, would be a deal breaker. But it would also make Stewart more appealing to those 100,000 swing voters strone across five swing states that decide every presidential election.

I would prefer he run for governor or senator from New Jersey before running for POTUS, but, lulz, nothing matters. I really want Stewart to run — and win — but at the moment that seems very doubtful.

She’s (Probably) Running — The Case For AOC 2024

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I really admire AOC’s spunk. She’s not perfect — she is apt to be a bit too earnest and divisive at times — but she’s the center-Left’s future. But the news that she’s engaged just as a few years before her 35 birthday in October 2024 definitely makes one wonder what she’s up to.

AOC 2024

The case could be made that two years would be just enough time for her to get married and squeeze out one politically necessary baby before she turns around and runs for POTUS in 2024.

Her doing so would be, on one level, be rather audacious and jaw dropping. In our current geriatric anocracy, someone just barely old enough to be president in the first place running for the office is a sight to see.

One thing to consider — should Republicans win Congress in this year, which seems inevitable, then it’s very possible that the GOP will go nuts and impeach both Biden and Harris more than once. This, given Biden’s advanced age, might open a political opportunity for AOC to be a dark horse candidate.

And, what’s worse, the election of 2024 could very well be one big old clusterfuck. Steve K. Bannon’s spiritual shock troops do his administrative coup and we have a Certification Crisis…well, AOC is just the type of passionate leader America would need at that point.

Or put another way, all signs point towards late 2024 – early 2025 being a massive fucking clusterfuck. A train wreck. There could be coups, counter-coups and rumors of civil war. Whatever happens, I suspect AOC will be at the forefront of it all.

Get Woke, Mike Pence

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

In the book, “How Democracies Die,” they propose a solution to prevent a democracy from dying outright — the other, non-autocratic parties have to bond together for the sake of the nation.

Now, this solution is extremely problematic for America. The country is too big, unfocused and divided for any sort of “unite for the sake of the nation” plan to work.

And, yet, there is one person who could make such a plan a lot closer to being real — Mike Pence.

All he has to do is one fucking thing and he is SOOOO CLOSE to be the Democratic Union (or whatever) Party nominee in 2024: become a MAGA apostate (a John Dean-type character). He doesn’t have to change any other policy view other than turning on Trump and MAGA.

Pence would never do this, of course, because he’s a fucking coward, but if he did, he would suddenly be throw into the rarified ranks of Great American Men because, he could, single handedly give American democracy some breathing room if he teamed up with, say, AOC.

But he’s never going to do it. He somehow thinks he can play it safe and may a charge at MAGA King Trump and somehow succeed (fun fact: no.) So, Pence really faces sinking into political oblivion with both sides hating him equally for different reasons.

Or, he could get woke get pretty damn close to becoming the next POTUS. Of course, if he did run with AOC, there would have to be some sort of power sharing agreement. The whole thing would make America’s government seem rather schizophrenic, but at least it would probably avoid a civil war and probably keep the country a functioning democracy for one or more additional election cycles.

2024: The Year The Olds Step Aside?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Even I, as an Old, am growing frustrated with how other Olds are clinging on to political and cultural dominance. It seems as though we’re way, way, way overdue for a major “vibe shift,” the likes of which we’ve not seen since about 1960.

AOC 2024

And here’s how it might happen — Joe Biden, citing his advanced age — bows out of the 2024 election. And who suddenly becomes the front runner? The newly married (and potentially great with child) AOC. She would be compared to JFK right off the bat. She would BARELY be 35 — her birthday is late in the year, as I understand. (It’s actually in October and she’s 32 now, so, yes, she could pull it off.)

And if she was pregnant while she was running for POTUS that would make the Washington press spooge their pants. There would be talk of how she’s putting her baby’s life at risk from all the campaign stress, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Anyway, the point is — the vibe shift between now and around 2025 (if we don’t endup blowing ourselves up in a civil war) could be rather dramatic and AOC running for POTUS when she’s barely, barely 35 would be the tip of the spear for such a thing to happen.

But the Western World is ripe for a Changing of The Guard. I mean, there are sooooo many Olds who just need to retire. Around 2025, Lorne Michaels of SNL fame is also said to be thinking of retiring, so there you go.

It will be interesting to see how the vibe shift shakes out. It could be we wake up one morning and realize rock and punk are back, superhero movies have been replaced with the gritty movies of the 1970s and….the Olds have all gone to The Villages to become MAGA New Right Republicans?

Is AOC Running For President?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Well, well, well, AOC is engaged. I’m quite pleased and I wish the couple well. But the pragmatic political observer in me has to smirk — I think AOC may run for POTUS in 2024 should the opportunity arise.

Now, some caveats

One is, I don’t know anything and, as a CIS white male, you should aggressively ignore me. Only an intersectional feminist woman of color can properly talk about the complexities of AOC getting engaged in the context of her political career.

So, if I was smart, I would either a) not write this post or b) stop here.

But, guess what, I’m a dumbass. So I’m going to not only keep going but also address the pink elephant in the room — if AOC wants to be POTUS, she probably needs to have a baby between now and November 2024. I say this as a long-time AOC supporter.

I’m just being realistic.

I mean, if HRC can have one (1) baby, then I don’t think it’s too much to believe that AOC will have one baby simply so the nutjobs on the far Right can’t attack her for not knowing the joys of motherhood.

Anyway. Ignore me. But I had to get that off my chest. I hope AOC runs — and wins — in 2024 (if the opportunity so arises.) And if not POTUS, maybe she can be someone’s veep.