Category: Cold Civil War

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Some thoughts.

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Obvious: Sexy Sandy
Trump is such a fucking misogynist and such a base human being that something like “Sexy Sandy” would see pretty obvious for him. The thing about Trump is he is — apparently — completely obvious to how he helps people’s careers by simply mentioning them, so it seems pretty inevitable that he’ll go after AOC in a direct way sooner rather than later.
Dumb: Silly Sandy
This is dumb, but because it’s dumb it seems like something Trump would come up with. But Sexy Sandy seems like a two-fer for him: he gets to deride her having been called Sandy at one point in her life and he gets to remind his base not to take her seriously because….she’s hot?
Weirdly Pop Music Aware: Sexy Sadie
I really don’t expect this one, but Trump’s of the right age to make a Beatles reference without realizing it and making AOC much, much, much more popular with a single tweet.

While it would be cool, really cool, if Trump and AOC went at it on Twitter for a few hours in 2019…I think it’s just a liberal fever dream at this point. I doubt seriously anything like that would happen. Right? Right?

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Again, let me be completely clear — I only keep writing about this because it’s fun-interesting and, given how dire the national news is right now, it’s nice, for once, to have a completely ridiculous story that makes me smile instead of want to walk off into the nears river, never to be seen again.

So, having said that, let’s continue to look into the no-win situation that the lovely and talented Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez finds herself in when it comes to some pretty basic things about her life and who she is. As an aside, I just noticed that the top autocomplete for AOC on Google is a search for bikini pictures of her, so it’s not quite as “sad” as Blue Check Liberals might have to believe for the average person to be interested in such stuff.

This, of course, leads into the general issues that I want to talk about. First, there have to be pictures of AOC in a bikini, somewhere. Unless she had the foresight to contact everyone she’s known the last decade and purge all photographic evidence of her being in a bikini out of existence, such pictures exist and they’re going to come out.

Furthermore, the more she draws attention to herself and the more the Right has a big old boner for her, it’s not going to take much mental energy for the insane Right, which is both physically attracted to her and repulsed by her policy views to go from, “I’d date that girl,” to…”Wait, who IS she dating?”

Now, let’s address all of this. The internal logic of the Right is something along these lines: “Because THEY will take her less seriously if they’re bikini pictures of her, then of course EVERYONE will take her less seriously if there are bikini pictures of her.”

And, so, they set themselves up to be self-owned AGAIN. Yes, whenever such pictures come out there will be a national debate on female politicians, a gross double standard and the changing nature of women in American society. But after things calm down a little bit, the center-Left will make fun of the Right for obviously lusting after AOC and the center-Right will believe they’ve finally proven that AOC is just “Sandy” from the block and as such shouldn’t be, in anyway, taken seriously or heard from again.

I, for one, believe barring something really, really unexpected, we’re going to hear a lot from AOC over the next 20 years and beyond.

Now, we come to a very delicate situation that I like to think of as “The Mr. Big Factor.” It goes something like this — as AOC profile increases and we learn one way or another if she’s dating anyone or not (I mean, is she? Is this common knowledge and I don’t know about it? That’s possible. I just checked her Wiki profile and….nada. No mention of a boyfriend.) there’s a good chance things could get a little surreal.

If she’s NOT dating anyone right now, then a lot of “Mr. Bigs” will see her as the ultimate arm candy and begin to swarm her. And, here’s where it gets surreal — a lot of them could be extremely conservative older middle-age men who completely disagree with her political views.

Then is when we’ll know if she’s The Real Thing or not. If she manages to curve their advances and find, say, someone like Sen. Cory Booker of New Jersey as her date to major events, then we’ll know she’s in it to win it. But if she turns around and dates some asshole MAGA Wall Street jerkoff, then, well, there’s that.

The point of all of this is — she needs to get ahead of this. That’s all I’m saying. That’s the only advice I might give her. She’s doing a great job otherwise and I’m beginning to enjoy her policy views. Shrug. It’s not really my place one way or another, but I do hope her the best and it seems as though only by addressing the issues that I have set forth now on a proactive basis instead of waiting for some incel to try to do a gotcha on her that things will work out for the best long-term.

But what do I know, I lead a “sad” life for even talking about all of this in the first place.

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

It appears to me the following is happening: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez presently politically inhabits a nether region where she’s a Leftist darling and a Rightist bugbear. Where the Left sees the future and a strong, intelligent Latina who is the future of the movement, the Right sees an ignorant bimbo Communist that they not-so-secretly collectively lust after.

And then there’s the center.

So, I suspect that soon, very soon, like after the 60 Minutes interview scheduled for tomorrow (Sunday) as I write this, she will be introduced to a much more centrist audience who will see her in a whole different light. They’ll be intrigued that such a young, affable, attractive young woman is also growing into an ideology whose avatars are dusty old people.

As such, the dynamic may change dramatically. Things like her current romantic status, which the Left thinks you’re “sad” for even being interested in in the first place will suddenly be something that a housewife in middle America might honestly and sincerely be interested in on a basic human level.

Now, this brings up something that really, really bugs the shit out of me. Blue Check Liberals on Twitter are the absolute worst when it comes to putting you on blast if you tweet anything to them that doesn’t fit their rigid ideological orthodoxy. So, when it occurred to me yesterday that I did not know an otherwise basic political question, “What is AOC’s relationship status right now?” and I asked that question in a harmless manner, I got piled on by a couple of Blue Check Twitter Liberals who were aghast aghast! that I would even entertain such a question.

I have no idea what is going to happen in the near future, but whenever I find myself getting angry over that little kerfuffle, I console myself by holding out hope that today’s “sad” question, might be tomorrow’s “duh” question.

In other words, AOC can’t stay in the public eye with the intensity that she’s experiencing right now without the question of her relationship status coming up. And if you want to jump down my throat for asking why it matters, my response is being in politics as a woman is a different experience than that for a man and add to the equation that AOC is demonstrably hot, then it’s not QUITE so “sad” to broach the subject of her romantic status.

And if you still are unhappy with me, I would like to observe that it’s self-evident that modern American politics for women isn’t, like rainbows and unicorns and free bleeding, you fucktwit.

In other words — AOC is hot enough that your typical heterosexual dude, regardless of political orientation, would take one look at her and at least entertain the notion of what it would be like to date her.

And, as such, we enter the nebulous realm of gender politics that is so nuanced that if you’re an ideologue at the extreme of either end of the political spectrum, you’re likely to give a rather ham-handed approach.

So, what I’m suggesting is it’s likely that by the end of 2019, my sincere question about her romantic status which Blue Check Twitter Liberals this is so “sad” is going to be extremely mainstream and, I would even go so far to suggest, something of a parlor sport for armchair political observers….that you find on Twitter.

Or maybe not. I am “sad” after all.