by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
So. I thought I had the novel’s new structure figured out…and then everything collapsed, forcing a hard reboot. A start from scratch. So, I spent much of today cherry picking the best ideas I’ve come up with the last half-month or so and threw them all into a new outline.
It goes without saying that I can’t keep doing this forever. I’m going to have to accept that this is my first novel and I’m not Stieg Larsson. I have to accept that I have some severe headwinds against me at this point and no matter how “perfect” this damn thing is, the chance I actually get an agent and a book deal is extremely, terrifyingly remote.
I have to just give myself the right to fail.
I suppose I just don’t want to embarass myself. I want to have pride in my novel to the point that I’m willing to see this whole process to a conclusion one way or another.
I am therefore going to chill out for a day or so and contemplate my next move. I think I’m going to do some low-stress development between now and Sunday afternoon when I’m going to throw myself back into writing AGAIN. But I have to admit to myself that I’ve come up with a really, really good story. It’s just the specifics of it all that I have trouble gaming out.
I need to do a lot of reading. I need to distract myself from what’s going on with this novel so I can return to it in a few days refreshed instead of being stressed out on an existential level that I’m going to die before I ever actually do anything with my life.
