James “I’m The King Of The World” Cameron is working on a number of sequels to Avatar all at once at the moment. I’ve begun to think about him more and more of late as it grows more and more possible that I am going to actually write six novels all at once in quick succession. The novels are all set in the same universe with essentially the same characters with a macro story that takes place over the course of 25 years.
So, in a sense, it’s one big story cut up into six novels that span from early 1995 to early 2020.
Now, while this is obviously a huge project — which is what I wanted when I started all of this — it’s not impossible. Stieg Larsson wrote three novels and then sold them at about my age (just as he dropped dead of a heart attack, alas.) And, really, the key issues at this point are selling the first novel and how long post-production would be.
I’m nervous that I could write all six novels pretty quickly but because of the needs of post production I won’t live to see them all come out. Ugh!
But I have to get this first novel finished and published. I continue to have high hopes, as the song goes, but I have a limited time on this earth. It’s not like I’m 25 and can just chug away for a decade writing novels that are good…but not good enough to get published.
As I’ve written before, generally a first novel by an unknown, previously unpublished novelist should be no more than 100,000 words. It’s because anything past that point, it becomes more and more risky, more and more cost prohibitive for the publisher to physically print the novel itself.
Feeling pretty stoked about the current state of the novel.
Now that I’m finally, gradually beginning to get out of the completely delusional stage of developing and writing this first novel into a phase that is at least a little bit closer to being grounded in something akin to reality, I find myself pondering my scene count.
You see, I don’t work in words, I would in scenes. Each scene, in general, is about 1,000 words. As such, I’m able to gauge, in general, how long the novel will be by the number of scenes. It’s not a perfect metric, but it’s the one I find works best with my personality. Right now — I have too many scenes. At the moment, the first draft of the novel is going to blow past that 100,000 word limit on a rather significant basis.
But the issue is, to tell the story I want to tell in the way that I can tell it given my ability — I’m beginning to fear that for the time being that excess word count is existential. My last attempt at a first draft was about 120,000 words and this first draft is, if I’m lucky, going to be around that length as well. But there’s a real risk that it could be longer.
And, yet, the story itself is really strong. I keep thinking about the scenes and there just isn’t much fat there. Each scene holds up and has a point for existing. I think what might happen — if I’m lucky — is somehow someone might like the general story and I’ll find myself with an editor who can whittle down the scene count to something a bit more manageable.
And this is the point when I’m reminded, again, that I suspect that for all my attempts to reverse engineer Stieg Larsson’s novels….I’m missing something about how he developed his works. Something is going on with his novels that I just can’t figure out. Did he write extensive character studies? How did he go about writing his novels in the context of structure?
The dream is to write something as popular as The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.
I’ve used repeated readings of his novel The Girl Who Played With Fire to produce a few very arbitrary rules of thumb that I use to map out the novel. It’s because of these rules that it’s both taken a lot longer than I expected and the novel is slowly shaping up to be a lot better than I originally thought possible. It’s taken me a long, long time to get to this point, but I’m finally beginning to feel pretty juiced about my prospects.
But I’m still being delusional. I’m an untested, unpublished novelist who if you do due diligence on me without knowing anything about me — you’re probably going to think I’m a drunk crank. So, who knows. But at least I’m feeling pretty good.
I think I’m within shouting distance of writing a pretty good pop novel that at least won’t embarrass me.
I’m currently working on a six novel project that first started several years ago because of a Trump mystery. I won’t get into the details of it because it’s all a lulz now, but let’s just say at the core of the mystery was the suspicion that Trump paid for a former Playboy model to have an abortion.
It turns out that even though everything pointed to Trump doing this he did not, in fact, do it. It was a very spooky incident that not only lingered in my mind for years, but was the specific event that started the long ago process of writing a novel that has me where I am today with the project.
Anyway. The implication of the mystery was, of course, that if we could only prove that Trump paid for and force a woman to have an abortion then, by definition, we would be done with him. He would have resigned in disgrace, at last because his Evangelical support would evaporate and our Long National Nightmare would be, at last, over. Pence would be our new Ford and we would have all be waiting for a Jimmy Carter-type figure to come out of the South to start the 50 year political cycle up again.
Ha. We were such idiots.
The reason — Herschel Walker has inadvertently proven that we were all very, very delusional. Even if we had absolute proof that Trump did what we suspected….nothing would have happened to him. In the end, Trump would be defeated not because of any character flaw but by a combination of pandemic and Mike Pence doing the bare minimum of his job on January 6th.
Trump is above both criminal law and moral law. He’s nearly a demigod. There is literally nothing the man can do at this point that would change anyone’s mind one way or another. Everything — for both sides — is baked into the cake when it comes to Trump.
So. Good luck. It’s autocracy, civil war or military junta between now and spring 2025.
While in general I don’t really have an opinion one way or another on Scott Galloway, given how vocal he’s been about Elon Musk and Twitter I feel compelled to give my hot take.
For me, the key thing about Galloway is he looks the part. If you were to say, find a picture of a former finance bro who’s the smartest guy in the room who has a successful podcast I’m pretty sure I would pick him out of a lineup blind. And that, I think, is very telling about the nature of success in the real world.
If you look the part of whatever it is you want to do in life, you’re far more likely to be a success regardless of other issues. It’s well known that good looking people generally are successful. So, most of your successful New Yorkers are tall, dark and handsome with the occasional oddball simply because that’s the nature of humanity.
Another thing — if I ever met him, at, say, a cocktail party after I sell my first novel and get to be cool on a national scale because it’s a huge success — we would probably have a very loud debate about issues of the day. In fact, if I was drunk at the time, the argument would be so loud, wide ranging and interesting that I might find a few attractive women staring at me from the open bar before it was all over with.
Anyway. Lulz, nothing matters. He’s a success and I, for the time being at least, am just a drunk loser with a dream.
Once, long ago, I had a boss at a community newspaper that was a lot like Lorne Michaels. He was very powerful throughout the Virginia newspaper industry and he could make or break a career.
I was in a severe crisis when I started working for him and I am forever grateful that he was kind enough to help me make a graceful exit from a very, very bad workplace environment. And I feel bad that I was so whacked out from where I just came from that I wasn’t able to give him my best at the paper.
He ultimately came to hate me and he fired me because, well, I was bonkers. He’s dead now so it’s not like I can ever make it up to him.
But, like I said, when I listened to the two part Fly On The Wall podcast interview of Lorne Michaels I was taken aback by what an interesting guy he is. Michaels in the interview comes across as both extremely powerful and intimidating while also being reasonably approachable.
Lorne Michaels
I can imagine a situation where he’s a firm but fair boss who is quick to be someone’s mentor as events warrant. He reminds me of the other successful people I’ve met in my life, like the high ups at The Richmond Times-Dispatch and the occasional New York Times reporters I’ve come in contact with now and again.
Anyway. It was a very good interview that David Spade and Dana Carvey did. You should definitely check it out.
As I’ve written before, when it comes to New York Times star reporter Maggie Herman….I just don’t care. I have given up. No matter how close she is to TrumpWorld, no matter how many jaw dropping number of Trump crimes she hides from the public for a book….she can do no wrong in the eyes of the people who make reality — Twitter liberals.
The only reason why I even talk about her now is I’m a bit tipsy and I saw this tweet:
It’s the issue of how Twitter liberals fuck with what is real when it comes to Ms. Haberman that forces me to write about her AGAIN, despite how much I just don’t care. It just seems like to be a Blue Check liberal is, by definition, to gaslight the average person about how unseemly close Ms. Haberman is to Trumplandia.
I’m not saying she isn’t a great journalist — especially compared to me! It’s just…we can all see what she does and why she does it. She inhabits a gray area where, yes, she is a great journalist but she also has apparently sold her soul for access to TrumpWorld — no matter how much ding-dong Trump calls her “maggot.”
But lulz, nothing matters. She’s a success and I — at least for the time being — definitely am not. So, Godspeed, Ms. Haberman.
I’m in a bad mood and the cheap whiskey is kicking in, so I feel like writing about an extremely touchy subject — trans rights. In general, I don’t have an opinion on any of it and generally I shrug whenever I hear about the latest battle over this or that thing within the movement.
Fuck MAGA
I do sometimes struggle with the whole “Protect Trans Kids” sentiment because…oh boy. I have no idea what to say about that. Anything to do with kids is something that should be given a lot of thought and debate and I don’t know about you, but when I was a young man I didn’t really have much sense of self. It wasn’t until much later that I developed any idea of who I was or what my “true north” was.
There are two issues that are really difficult for me to grapple with when it comes to trans rights. One is how much of an established orthodoxy there is on the issue within my center-Left echo chamber. Any variation from that orthodoxy risks having you cast out of the anti-MAGA movement as some sort of bigoted ogre. So, generally, I don’t talk about the subject at all because, like I said, I’m not invested in the issue one way or another and, for once, I just don’t feel like wading into a controversial topic.
Meanwhile, there is another issue that causes me pause for thought. Trans rights — especially the whole “Protect Trans Kids” issue is such a corrosive wedge issue that it’s one of a number of culture war issues that is tearing the country apart. You can tell how Blue or Red someone is by what pops out of their mouth when the issue of Trans Rights comes up.
And, let me be clear — I’m indifferent. Other than occasionally growing alarmed at the back and forth over the issue of Trans kids….I just don’t care. In fact, I would say the issue of Trans Rights is, by definition, the very sort of controversial social topic that the political discourse of a functioning democracy would figure out soon enough.
But we’re past the event horizon of autocracy, civil war or military junta between now and spring 2025. So, away we go. Buckle up. We’re totally fucked.
I just do not believe in conspiracy theories. They’re just not my thing. I generally believe that most real conspiracies are already known or they’re just a bunch of bullshit in the form of being the last refuge of the intellectually dishonest. But, just for the sake of argument, let’s think about some of the NARAlago conspiracies theories that have sprung up since the FBI snatched back a bunch of Top Secret files that Trump stole.
The first issue to remember is, of course, that Trump is above the law and there’s just no law he can possibly break at this point that would see him in front of a judge. Any damage he might suffer is going to be political in nature and even then, it will be on the edges. The number of people who have any sort of open mind about Trump at this point is so low as to be negligible.
Trump being a lecherous lying racist traitor is so baked into the cake that, lulz, he’s probably going to become president again — even without cheating. Though, of course, he will anyway because it’s his nature.
So, with that in mind, let’s go through some conspiracy theories.
Trump used the LIV golf tournament as a cover to give the Saudi’s secrets At least there is some logic to this one. It seems within reason that there were a number of quid pro quos between Team Trump and the Saudis such that they might somehow get access to American secrets via Trump. Not only did Jared get $2 billion from the Saudis, Trump also held the very controversial LIV golf tournament at Bedminster. This grows in importance now that we know the FBI has been asking people if they know anything about Trump…having Top Secret documents at Bedminster. So we have a situation where Trump has the means, motive and opportunity to sell American secrets to the Saudis. And, yet, time and again, Trump has been proven to be craven…but very, very lazy and dumb. So while it’s definitely POSSIBLE this type of skullduggery might have happened….I dunno. Trump can’t keep a secret. He would somehow blab about what a great deal he made with the Saudis before it was over with. But remember — some of the Top Secret documents Trump had were devoted to another nation’s nuclear arms program. I’m sure the Saudis would be interested in what America knows of the Israelis ‘ secret nuclear bomb program.
Trump buried his ex-wife with Top Secrets This one doesn’t make any sense. Just because it’s weird that Trump buried Ivana Trump on a golf course, doesn’t mean he’s up to no good. The man is very, very strange and completely devoid of any empathy. And why would he bury Top Secrets in a grave? Why hide them there? The reason why he’s in trouble is his complete indifference to keeping Top Secret documents, well, safe. So…no. I would have have some sort of evidence to believe Trump buried Ivana with secrets.
I sometimes write about my failed magazine I had in Seoul, ROKon Magazine. It was a success until it wasn’t. My version of it lasted from August 2006 to April 2007. It was a very wild ride with amazing twists and turns and extremely colorful characters floating in and out of the story repeatedly.
I learned a lot from that experience in no small part because I was also DJing at a bar called Nori at the time. And, in a sense, I’m using all those experiences from a failed magazine in Seoul to write six novels set in a totally different place. But that’s not the point of this post.
The point is — learned a lot about myself as part of that particular adventure. I learned what a quirky life I lead on an existential basis. I learned that I have a lot of vision and need a partner who is persuasive to actually get anything done. But I also learned that much of life is simply picking a direction, any direction and sticking to it.
The moment you have a vision in your head, the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune come out. People will bombard you with all kinds of reasons for why your vision is wrong or how much you suck or why you shouldn’t even be doing what you’re doing in the first place.
In that respect, working on writing project with an imagined six novels to it is a lot like growing ROKon Magazine back in the day. I know my “true north” and I know what these six novels to be like, no matter how many different people try to make me feel bad about even doing anything to begin with .
I’m really good at the “vision thing,” but very bad at persuasion. That’s why in the early days of ROKon Magazine the late Annie Shapiro and I made such a great team. I came up with the vision and she convinced people to help us. But I’m all alone now and it’s going to be a massive accomplishment on my part to get a literary agent to take me seriously enough to help me get this first novel published.
But here I am. Hoping to try to be in a position around the fall of 2023 where I can sell a novel. I’m still smarting over how long post-production might be if I manage to make that dream come true. But those are the breaks. I just have to accept that I have to be patient.
I only write about this because, well, I’m still in the delusional phase of the process of writing these novels and I feel like letting off a little creative steam. This project begins with a novel set in 1995 and ends with one set in early 2020. In the last three projected, imagined novels, there is a character who is essentially a “proxy me.”
Chris Pratt
You’re not supposed do that, of course. You’re not supposed to write yourself into your universe. It’s bad form and it’s too easy to abuse. But I am very self-conscious about this element of writing these novels and so I hopefully will avoid the storytelling pitfalls of having a “proxy me.” Besides, the proxy isn’t one to one. Even though the character is probably going to share many of my flaws and weaknesses.
Anyway, in my mind, this proxy me looks a lot like Chris Pratt. I think some of this comes from my own self-perception of what I look like. Of course, this is very amusing given that I think Pratt is a MAGA Republican who keeps doing voice work because he’s a doofus and refuses to get his COVID vaccine.
But the key issue is Pratt is just about the right age for the character. Let me be clear — I am well aware that I’m being delusional to even broach this subject. I haven’t even finished the first draft of the first novel — set in 1995. But you have to believe, you know? You have to keep going and believe that if you do the hard work then it’s at least possible that someone like Pratt might play a version of me on the silver screen one day.
For the time being, however, I’m trying to just focus on finishing the first novel, querying it and ultimately getting it published. Only time will tell, of course.
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